It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Match One: Finlay vs. JBL - Belfast Brawl
What I said: Thank you, Fit Finlay.
What happened was: Damn you, Fit Finlay. I also was sort of expecting a Hornswoggle turn, as well as some McMahon shenanigans, but alas ... nothing. Not a bad "hardcore"-type match, and there was a nice sequence where Finlay dove through the ropes only to eat a trashcan lid shot in midair, courtesy of JBL. JBL ultimately pulls off the win, and in my book the upset. (1/0)
Match Two: Money in the Bank - Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, CM Punk, Kennedy, MVP, and Jericho
What I said: CM Punk, which will be pretty cool if he can gain the WWF title at the same time Samoa Joe is holding TNA heavyweight gold, provided TNA doesn't fuck him over at Lockdown.
What happened was: Punk won, and while the fuckery of Samoa Joe is still pending, I look forward to what awaits in the future for the MitB winner. It can't be any worse than last year, for sure. And for almost crippling your damn self for my entertainment, Shelton Benjamin, you're still my hero. (2/1)
Match Three: Umaga vs. Batista
What I said: Batista so got dis.
What happened was: Batista so had dat. I expected a lot more out of this match, and while Umaga seemed down for whatever, Batista might as well have been Caesar the Somnabulist out there. (3/2)
Match Four: Chavo Guerrero vs. winner of a 24 man battle royal
What I said: The Great Khali, if he's in this.
What happened was: It weren't Khali, it was Kane, and it weren't a match, it was one chokeslam and a three count. Hope that wasn't the match that you came to see. (I'm calling this at 4/2.5, 'cause I did call Chavo losing.)
Match Five: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
What I said: Oh yeah, Shawn Michaels and the power of Christ will break the Nature Boy, creating a fine Wrestlemania moment to put in the hype videos, to replace the Benoit/Guerrero moment.
What happened was: This was billed as a "career threatening" match (despite Ric Flair's repeated insistence on telegraphing his loss on pretty much every major hype appearance that he attended). Funny thing is, for Shawn Michaels it really was career threatening, 'cause I swear he split his pelvis on that moonsault into the announce table. This was a very good match, although I could have done with less NAMBLA at the end. (5/3.5)
Match Six: Beth Phoenix & Melina vs. Ashley & Maria
What I said: The ones who showed their pussies to the anonymous public will win, to continue to promote WWF's doctrine that if you whore yourself out, you too can be successful. So congratulations, Ashley and Maria.
What happened was: Ha, ha, on the contrary: Showing your tits and ass and shaven bushes will get you NOWHERE. And even God showed that he doesn't appreciate WWF women's wrestling, as the lights just - boom! - went out. Snoopy Dogg Doggy was the Master of Ceremonies for this one, which only made it that much more entertaining, but he at least got to tongue kiss Maria. I'm disappointed that Snoop's detached conjoined twin glory whore Don Magic Juan didn't make the trip. (6/3.5)
Match Seven: Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena - RAW World Title
What I said: I was going to first say "Triple H," because he sired an heir to the McMahon dynasty, but then I've been wrong before when it came to Triple H winning, back when he tapped to Benoit at the Big Dance. No, fuck it, Triple H wins.
What happened was: In fact, 'twas young Randall Orton, and the way they handled it, I can't hate on that. Didn't see it coming, played on Orton's strengths, and ended a solid nigh-15 min match that was just packed. (7/3.5)
Match Eight: Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather
What I said: The goddamn Big Show better win ... I've always dug Big Show and his crazy ass antics, from his Giant days up to now. he's fit, he's healthy, and he should be in line to carry the world title for longer than a transitional period.
What happened was: Sigh. The goddamn Big Show didn't win, but that match was a lot better than I thought it would be. First off, love Show's "Shhhh" chop in the corner. Second, Show on a rampage is great fun to watch ... see when he attacks one of Mayweather's cornermen after getting fed up with Mayweather's stalling, and also check the sequence where Mayweather's posse tries to get Mayweather to the back and Show chases them down. But FUUUUCK the "brass knuckles" punch to the jaw ending ... don't you know those things are sold as "belt buckles" in Gatlinburg, TN? Hey Show; Jericho 2k8 says "welcome back to the midcard." (8/3.5)
Match Nine: Edge vs. Undertaker - Smackdown World Title
What I said: Edge! I mean, seriously, 'Taker's gotta lose that streak sometime right? And if it wasn't Randy Orton or Batista who was worthy of ending the streak, if EDGE isn't worthy of ending it, at this point who the hell is? Besides, Edge has his own streak too, so this could be the start of another 'Mania run for a different superstar.
What happened was: Shit fuck damn. You'd think I'd learn to not bet against Taker, but hell, one day I gotta be right. Me and Will got into a debate on what Taker's numbers meant (Will was on the "won-loss" side of the numbers, I was on the "number of matches-number of losses" side), so we were going back and forth on what the numbers would look like if Taker lost (15-1 vs. 16-1). Ultimately, it didn't fucking matter: 16-0 is the order of the day. But Edge looked great, with all the insane counters to everything Taker threw out. Good end to a pretty damn good 'Mania. (9/3.5 ... number of matches/number of correct predictions)
Overall, out of nine matches, I correctly guessed 3.5, for an accuracy rating of "shitty" (38.89%, if you want a real number).
Phrases that I quickly got sick of, and if there were a drinking game, you'd have been fitshaced faster than Kane beat Chavo:
1) On Randy Orton: "the youngest WWE World champion in history"
2) On Undertaker: "15-0"
3) On Edge: "the ultimate opportunist"
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wrestlemania results & predictions analysis
Sunday, March 30, 2008
My Wrestlemania 24 predictions
Wow, I bet I'd really give a crap if I'd, y'know, even watched WWF this whole year?
Beth Phoenix & Melina vs. Ashley & Maria: Y'know, at least TNA is doing something right with their women's division and promoting real wrestling instead of this, which will no doubt be some boring ass garbage. And my standing rule for WWF womens wrestling is, I don't give a shit unless I see some tit. I predict: The ones who showed their pussies to the anonymous public will win, to continue to promote WWF's doctrine that if you whore yourself out, you too can be successful. So congratulations, Ashley and Maria.
Batista vs. Umaga: When Umaga was wrestling Cena for the World Title, back in 2007, I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd have carried the strap for a few months. But that didn't happen, and here we are. I predict: Batista so got dis.
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair: I read that this is for Ric Flair's career. He's the only active wrestler to get inducted into the Hall of Fame, and that's this year. I predict: Oh yeah, Shawn Michaels and the power of Christ will break the Nature Boy, creating a fine Wrestlemania moment to put in the hype videos, to replace the Benoit/Guerrero moment.
Finlay vs. JBL: A Belfast brawl is probably like a Chicago Street Fight, which is like a Hollywood backlot brawl, which is probably like a Philadelphia street fight, which is similar to an Eight Mile street fight, which is kinda like a Texas Death match, etc. Hey, it just occurred to me that this is the first Wrestlemania in a while that hasn't had any McMahon direct involvement; that said, this is where it'll be. I predict: Thank you, Fit Finlay.
Money in the Bank: Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, CM Punk, Kennedy, MVP, and Jericho: They only put Shell-toe Benjamin out there so that he can do something highlight reel worthy, but they don't put any serious energy on him, which sucks. Nitro and Carlito are about useless, so they ain't getting any. I'm thinking that Kenneth Kennedy already blew his chances by way of an atrocious 2007. I'm on the fence about MVP, but I'm thinking that Matt Hardy will blow in and shatter Mr. Porter's dreams. That leaves Punk and Jericho ... Jericho has blown his comeback since he's showed back up, so that leaves ... I predict: CM Punk, which will be pretty cool if he can gain the WWF title at the same time Samoa Joe is holding TNA heavyweight gold, provided TNA doesn't fuck him over at Lockdown.
Chavo Guerrero vs. winner of a 24 man battle royal: Is Khali in this? I predict: The Great Khali, if he's in this.
Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather: So, Pacman Jones goes to TNA and gets shit on, but Mayweather goes on to 'Mania, and we're supposed to think it's the greatest thing ever? This is why I don't really follow the IWC. I predict: The goddamn Big Show better win ... I've always dug Big Show and his crazy ass antics, from his Giant days up to now. he's fit, he's healthy, and he should be in line to carry the world title for longer than a transitional period.
Edge vs. Undertaker - Smackdown World Title: I have bet against the Undertaker for the past few years, and I've learned my lesson each time. That being said ... I predict: Edge! I mean, seriously, 'Taker's gotta lose that streak sometime right? And if it wasn't Randy Orton or Batista who was worthy of ending the streak, if EDGE isn't worthy of ending it, at this point who the hell is? Besides, Edge has his own streak too, so this could be the start of another 'Mania run for a different superstar.
Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena - RAW World Title: Why the hard-on for Triple Threat world title matches these past several years? I guess it throws doubt onto what could be considered foregone conclusions, but still, unless it's a 3-Way Dance (elimination style), I don't really care for the stipulation that much. I predict: I was going to first say "Triple H," because he sired an heir to the McMahon dynasty, but then I've been wrong before when it came to Triple H winning, back when he tapped to Benoit at the Big Dance. No, fuck it, Triple H wins.
Now, we'll reconvene in a few days and see how my powers of prognostication fared. I did alright with TNA's Against All Odds, so let's see if I can keep my streak alive!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Anyone want to go to Wrestlemania?
Yep, you read that right.
A friend from another department called today and offered me his extra ticket to Wrestlemania tomorrow night. He wanted face value ($60) and I thought that was a bit steep, so I passed. I probably wouldn't know who 3/4 of the people were and at that price it is probably on top of the scoreboard.
I would say he still has it....if anyone wants to hop in the Leer Jet and head on down to MCO I can hook you up.
Number movies
Ya'll know I'm a dork for numbers, almost as much as I'm a dork for words and hearing the sound of my own voice.
The movie "21" ads on TV got me thinking. How far can you go, sequentially, with movie titles that have numbers in them, before you find a number that isn't included in a movie title? (No fair counting numbers in sequels, like Rocky III. And only fairly mainstream films ... no short films, or obscure foreign flicks, or horrible indy films that only the director, cast and families of those involved have ever seen.)
Well, using the power of the internet - namely IMDB, Allmovie, and Amazon's DVD Marketplace - I think I found the answer:
One Armed Boxer
Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels
Three O’Clock High
Four Rooms
Five Easy Pieces
Girl 6
Seven
Eight Men Out
The Whole Nine Yards
10 Things I Hate About You
Ocean’s Eleven
Twelve Angry Men
Friday the 13th
Fourteen Hours
15 Minutes
Sixteen Candles
Number 17
18 Again!
K-19: The Widowmaker
Twenty Bucks
21
Catch-22
The Number 23
The Twenty-Four Hour Woman
The 25th Hour
... and there is no 26!
Friday, March 28, 2008
This gave me more laughs than 1000 Marmaduke cartoons ever have
"Though half of his readership was lost to a cholera outbreak, and hundreds more fans likely perished during the Great Chicago Fire of 1959, Anderson has never given up on Marmaduke—a strip that has survived 10 U.S. presidencies, as well as everyone the cartoonist has ever known and loved." [more]
This just in: Now you can be sued on theory
"The builders of the world's biggest particle collider are being sued in federal court over fears that the experiment might create globe-gobbling black holes or never-before-seen strains of matter that would destroy the planet.
" [more]
Look for today's Quote To Live ByTM: "Saying something is absolutely impossible doesn't always come easy." A new Scientific Truth?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Annonce! Annonce! It's official!
The planet has officially reached its maximum capacity of people who deserve to breathe.
"(LeBron) James looks like King Kong clutching Fay Wray on the latest cover of Vogue, and the image ... 'conjures up this idea of a dangerous black man.'"
[more]
I'd heard about this cover and the racist overtones involved, but are you fucking serious? When I heard the hype but the cover hadn't been shown yet, I pictured Gisele wearing a straw hat and dirty overalls, whipping James, adorned in rags with his hands bound above his head. The article: "Kunta who? 20 Reasons Why People Need to Just Relax about Race." Maybe if Spy Magazine was still in print...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Blunted Confessions Part 1 - The Box Cover Incident
I've begun a new video blog series called Blunted Confessions, where I get blunted and tell a crazy, funny or pointless & asinine story from my stupid little rap career. The first episode was just released.
There is a minute chance that one thing in this video might violate somebody somewhere's Terms & Conditions, so I don't wanna embed it into the blog, but you can peep it here.
I'm beginning to feel like...
I've exhausted the perimeter of the internet.
I remember the internet used to seem like such a big place. There were a plethora of websites on any barrage of topics, and you were always bound to run into sites you hadn't seen before.
I have zero statistics or scientific data to back any of this up, but it seems like when I get on the internet nowadays (which is everyday, since I work for an e-business), my surfing and traffic can basically be contained to about the same 10 websites. One would think that with all the advancements in technology and how the internet has supposedly grown, the amount of choices would have quintupled. But for some reason, when I sit down in front of the internet now, I find myself literally out of ideas of where to go.
Perhaps my range of interests is too narrow. But I can remember a time when I would eat up far too much of a day absorbing information online. Now, to compensate for being stuck behind this computer for 8 hours a day, I'm DYING to waste time absorbing information. The best way to do this is to communicate with real people via AIM or GChat, given the place I work it is both refreshing and appreciated to be able to conversate w/ friends (who don't speak Yiddish).
But people have lives and can't always sit and chat, so I find myself browsing the same sites that just aren't updates as frequently anymore, bored shitless on the internet.
If I want to catch the latest hip-hop news, I go to HipHopGame, AllHipHop or RapReviews.com. If I want to read articles on whatever random topic, I go to Wikipedia (thank God for Wikipedia). If I want to peep videos, I go to YouTube. If I want to scout the net for potential gigs or whore my music, I go to Craigslist. If I want to whore my music or holler at trim, I go to MySpace. If I want to holler at trim, I go to Facebook. If I want the latest wrestling news...eh, I gave up on the IWC a long time ago. Occasionally I remember to read the Onion, but they only update once a week and we have the print version for free here in NYC anyway.
I peep CNN or Drudge Report for news too, but really that shit has gotten so mundane and repetetive I barely even check for it lately: war in Iraq, election, America's stupid, The Eminent End.
Now granted, we've covered the majority of my passions: Music, Hip-Hop, Girls, educating myself w/ useless information, humor, wrestling, the news, and promoting myself. So since the internet should have so many more possibilities, why does it seem so desolate? Every "music business authority" rants about how the internet is SO FULL of places to promote yourself and network with important people. Now goddamnit, I've been using the internet for 10 years now, I have a pretty good idea how to surf - why is almost every website (aside from the big players like MySpace, Craigslist, etc. who have high traffic for other reasons) a ghost town? And plus MySpace, Craigslist, etc is so oversaturated with crap anyway...eh, you get the picture.
I can remember a time when you would search for a topic, and you'd get pages of REAL results. Now when you search a topic, you're lucky to get a few real results, instead you have to wade through 500 pages of sponsored ads, dead links, torrent results, and bait-and-switch bullshit.
Regardless, I feel like that commercial from a few years back where the guy officially reached The End of the internet. How did a barrage of mom-and-pop websites get swallowed up by a group of giants, who appear to have gotten lazy with their information distribution? Maybe it's just me. Plus with the horrid misuse of the internet that Ron enlightened us on the other day...I'm just wondering when did the internet run out of steam? And why do I sit in front of this computer with nowhere to go anymore?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Two links for your viewing pleasure
Oh those crazy English soccer fans.
First, this catchy musical diddy about Chelsea star Ashley Cole. Cole, referred to as Cashley in some circles, left Arsenal for Chelsea in a high profile move a couple of years ago. The video has nothing to do with that, but rather it has to do with this story. I promise it is worth it.
I'd like your money now :)
Thought I'd never be able to say it, but...
Please allow 7-10 business days for delivery.
For any customer service issues, please email spacelabrecords@yahoo.com
And thank you for your vote!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Just picked this book up...
It's third in the reading queue and looks really interesting.
Read the review here.
Friday, March 21, 2008
I've been totally busy
Totally.
I'm committing myself 100% to getting a lot of my clinic work done - paperwork, cleaning my office, the whole nine - and then I'm coming back hard again!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
This is some creepy stuff right here
Yeah. I don't know what to say about this one.
The end is especially strange.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Word up!!!
Well...it appears that digital distribution kingpins TuneCore have issued their March 2008 newsletter, which amongst other things includes the monthly Staff Picks, a Top 10 list of sorts with the best new songs of the month, as picked by the TuneCore staff. (Hence the name Staff Picks.)
Well, the March '08 list has just been released and, much to my pleasant surprise, amongst artists such as Nine Inch Nails, Steve Vai, Jason Mraz, etc. they also picked...
"Imperial Hubris"
by Jake Palumbo featuring Royce da 5'9"
You can peep it here.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
On Gas Prices and Elections
I try to keep up with the economic data and numbers daily. I don't have any reason to aside from a year and a half's worth of state pension funds invested in some mutual funds, but I find it interesting.
All of this talk of recession and slowdown is a bunch of bollocks. I know that goes against conventional wisdom, but the major market numbers do not line up with the data being reported. Take oil. Oil rose yesterday to an all time high of somewhere close to $110 a barrel. That is outrageous and should only happen if there is some major supply shortage or a multi-national conflict amongst two or more OPEC countries. You only get prices that high when gas isn't available.
Yet today, the oil inventory report came out with a 6.2 million barrel increase in the supply of oil. 6.2 million barrels versus analyst expectations of a 1.7 million barrel rise. Gasoline rose something like 2 million barrels versus a projected gain of 300K. We have oil and we have gas...yet the prices are high for reasons that have nothing to do with the market. These kind of numbers can't go on forever and, like the internet boom a few years ago, once enough traders get a clear sense of direction on the issue, the prices will come tumbling. It might happen slowly, but these sorts of numbers can't stay like this for long.
If there is a slowdown (and I don't think it is a sustained one) it is happening because prices of common goods are too high. Buying bread and milk leaves you with less to spend on other things, causing a slowdown in consumer spending. The trick here is to get the commodity prices down and it all starts with oil and gas. We the consumers are pretty powerless to do anything about it, but once the oil "bubble" bursts things should come back to normal.
I'm actually quite surprised that none of the major candidates are trying to force the bubble to burst themselves. Calls for windfall profit taxes or economic stimulus packages that would move money out of oil would do this. The Democrats may be calling for this stuff and it isn't reported in the press, I don't know. A price control on gas to the 2.50 or 2.25 level for a gallon of regular unleaded would cause the oil prices to drop, but could also cause investors to panic.
If the bubble bursts before October, this benefits McCain, as Bush's economic platform no longer looks like a drain on the economy. If it bursts after November it helps which ever Democrat wins the White House as they can take credit for the end of the recession even though it would have ended anyway. The conspiratorial part of me can dream up a scenario where Democratic-leaning bank officials prop up the price of oil using hedge funds and the like to keep the economy declining, therefore increasing the election chances of the Democrats. I don't think that is going on, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
rasslin
Monday Nitro fresh out of the can!
The show opens with a limo pulling up to the United Center. The nWo gets out and everyone is smoking cigars. The crowd pops when Dennis Rodman gets out of the limo. The nWo takes approximately seven hours to walk into the ring. Hogan wastes no time on the mic. He says that him and Rodman are going to kick Luger and the Giant’s asses at the next pay per view, just like the Bulls shut down the Utah Jazz. Hogan keeps on saying “Brah” at the end of every sentence. Dennis Rodman gets the mike and I shit you not repeatedly challenges Lex Luthor to come down and face him in a fight. Now I know WCW was going all out here to put together a big time pay per view main event, but come on! They are teasing a match with the six time NBA rebounding champion vs. the only human to ever best Superman! I’m in.
Zbysko, Schiavone and Tenay welcome us to Nitro as the opening bell sounds and we’ll have Mortis with James Vandenberg taking on Glacier. Schiavone invites you to order the repeat broadcast of last night’s Great American Bash as it was the most brutal pay per view in the history of our great sport! As you already know, Glacier is on a quest to get his samurai helmet back from Vandenberg. Apparently he failed to do that last night and he’s out to retrieve it here tonight. Glacier promptly squashes Mortis for the 123 but Wrath jumps in and beats him down! Mortis and Wrath are ready to handcuff Glacier to the ringpost but out of nowhere comes Ernest Miller! Miller with big roundhouses on the bad guys and he clears the ring. Thank God for WCW security led by Doug Dillinger as they come in and restore order to the ring! Commercial break…
Back in the ring, Mean Gene is interviewing Medusa. Gene asks Medusa if it’s sunk in that she lost a retirement match last night. She says she’s a woman of her word and she lost the retirement match so she’s on her way out. Bla bla….
Dean Malenko is coming to the ring. He gets on the mic and calls out Eddie Guerrero. Instead Chavo Guerrero comes out to accept the challenge. Zbysko says that the problem with Guerreros is “there’s so many of ‘em, when you beat one you gotta beat fifty of ‘em.” I guess this is angle is supposed to be a microcosm of our immigration problem. The match is pretty damn good as Malenko goes over with the Texas Cloverleaf. Eddie comes out to watch from the entryway. Commercial…
In the ring we have La Parka wrestling Super Calo. Tenay says that La Parka is known as the largest of the luchadores. Zbysko says that neither man wants to lose this match because “once the word gets back to Mexico, he’ll be humiliated.” As if news of the defeat will only reach Mexico City via pack mule or some guy hitching in the back of a pickup truck, possibly buried under some straw. Super Calo gets the win and La Parka is furious. Super Calo gets blasted with a chairshot.
Mean Gene is interviewing Lex Luger and The Giant. Luger talks a bunch of crappy shit. Giant spits all over Mean Gene’s microphone. It’s horrible. Commercial…
The Amazing French Canadiens with Col. Parker take on Harlem Heat. The Canadian National Anthem is attempted, but Harlem Heat interrupt that. Harlem Heat wins pretty easily here. Commercial…
Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon. We already know Dillon is a blatant racist and he reinforces it here. He tells Harlem Heat that they are not going to be number one contenders for the tag team titles even though they beat the Steiner Bros. last night at the pay per view in the number one contender match. Because they won by DQ, the executive committee thinks the match was inconclusive and they’ll have to wrestle the Steiners yet again. Commercial…
nWo music hits and the Outsiders head toward the ring with Syxx. Apparently Syxx is going to be defending his Cruiserweight title against Rey Misterio Jr. Schiavone recounts the time Nash threw Rey Rey into the side of a trailer like a lawn dart and a merry laugh is had by all. The match goes back and forth and the Outisders use every opportunity to take cheap shots at Misterio. Rey is about to win when the Outsiders enter the ring. Rey kicks Nash over the top rope but Syxx slaps on the Buzzkiller and wins by submission. Kevin Nash Jackknifes Misterio for good measure, then cuts a promo. Nash says the Wolfpac is the strongest beast in the jungle. Scott Hall says that Flair and Piper are a joke and the icons are dead. Hall tells Chicago to welcome a real icon to the ring as Macho Man comes out with Miss Elizabeth. Macho Man talks about how he was on top of his game last night agsinst DDP. DDP interrupts the gloating from way up in the stands with Kimberly. DDP says he made a few phone calls and found himself a tag partner, and he wants to take on Hall and Savage at Bash at the Beach. Kimberly is hotter than anybody in the building. DDP is a dirty grease monkey. Commercial…
Ultimo Dragon is facing Lionheart Chis Jericho for our “wrestling” segment of the night. The match is underway with a catch as catch can volley of wrestling maneuvers! Dragon hits the Tiger Suplex for the 123. We cut to Lee Marshall at a Nitro Party in Macon GA. for the 1 800 collect road report.
Mean Gene is in the ring with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper basically calls Dennis Rodman a fag. Piper wants to know why Flair let him down at the pay per view. Piper calls Flair out and here he comes. Piper wants to know why Flair disappeared during the fight with the Outsiders. Flair basically gives a bullshit excuse and tries to make amends. I’m confused here because Flair doesn’t really offer any valid excuse as to why he left Piper alone against the Outsiders. But Piper seems convinced and amends are made. Weird.
Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell. Scott Norton seems like the kind of dude that isn’t really “in on the business” and you can tell by the way he punches Mongo in the face. Repeatedly. And the way he elbows Jeff Jarrett in the neck. Repeatedly. The match takes a huge swerve as Mongo piledrives his own partner, Jarrett. Double J is left lying in the ring as the nWo gets the win.
nWo music hits AGAIN as Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman head to the ring to take on Lex Luger and The Giant. After two minutes of stalling, Luger and the Giant hit the entryway. In the ring, the match begins as Hogan ties up with Luger and Rodman attacks the Giant. Giant immediately grabs Rodman around the throat and hoists him up for the chokeslam. Hogan lowblows Luger and saves Rodman. Giant grabs Hogan and throws him in the corner as Rodman drops the Giant from behind with a shot to the head from Hogan’s world title. The crowd pops huge as Rodman drops wimpy elbows on the Giant. Hall and Nash come in and the spray paint is used on Luger and Giant. The crowd litters the ring with garbage as the nWo celebrates their victory. We’re out of time!
I hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane. I know I sure didn’t. The best matches oon the card were part of the lowest angles. Jericho’s match was great. Dean Malenko’s match was pretty good too. But I guess they had no place in WCW’s big plans. My personal favorite parts were Kevin Nash’s powerbomb on Rey Rey and Scott Norton’s working style. I swear Scott Norton doesn’t know that wrestling is a work.
Friday, March 07, 2008
YouTube Politics
So I've been kicking around some incoherent thoughts on the subject.
We've entered a new age in American politics. In 1961, Daniel Boorstin wrote that American politics were defined by image and pseudo-events. The ideas and the values of a candidate were all wrapped up in stage-managed meetings and conferences. The sound bite (made even worse now by the 24 hour newscycle) was becoming the main arbiter of political discourse. The style was more important than the substance and, as people figured that fact out, politicians would try to up the game of hiding the truth.
In today's society, thanks to YouTube and the blogs and what not, we are seeing a new day of political electioneering and criticism. Discourse is still virtually absent, but people are able to take existing cultural artifacts and manipulate them, add music or re-edit them or what not, to create a new meaning. The image is no longer in control of the politicians and their organizations. Sure, this has been the case through print media for some time, but the new internet distribution Take, for example, the video at the bottom of the page. It is pretty well flawless (except that the dog in the pic isn't a poodle) and it really says a lot about the Obamamania that is sweeping the college campuses and other circles.
But look at the dark undertones. The image selection leaves a sick taste in your mouth. Is that more effective than a 5 page magazine article? Is it more accurate? Will future elections be decided based on who can hire the best video editors and creative minds, rather than the best speech writers? The individualized production capabilities are staggering.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Maria Kanellis in Playboy
Seen the pics online. I can't hate on 'em. She got some weird ol' titties, though. They asked her some questions, but I don't really care what's coming out of her mouth ...
unless it's my motherfuckin dick before it goes back in again.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The fate of wrestling
What is going on?
Who is getting tired of the WWE and TNA? I e-mailed Nate my thoughts on this coming Mania. I do not have a lot to say. I mean Taker versus Undertaker--okay could be good, but do we really care? Also triple threat- Cena, Triple H. Orton-- who is betting their mortgage that Triple H wins that one. Oh yeah Big Show fights a boxer. Nothin else needs to be said on that.
TNA- do we care that Angle is having problems with the wife. How many times can Booker T fight Roode.
We need originality and we need it fast. What are your thoughts?
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Shower thought for the day
I noticed over the course of last week that a lot of comic artists have websites, through which you can request commissions. I wish I had the money to get, say, John Byrne, Gene Colan, Kagan McLeod, Jim Mahfood, Evan Dorkin, Ron Lim, etc. up to like 20 artists, to draw their own interpretations of an octopus playing the piano on a busy racetrack.
Imagine, a twenty piece comics art exhibit of different interpretations of an octopus playing the piano on a busy racetrack. Just having that on display in your house would be a mad pussy magnet.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Remember Universal Scientific Truth #10!!
"They found that spanking and other corporal punishment is associated with an increased probability of verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex; risky sex such as premarital sex without using a condom; and masochistic sex such as spanking during sex." [more]
