Ah, goddammit.

Peyton Manning wins...the big one? Peyton Manning? The big one? Wins? What the fuck?

You know what, though? I'm gonna keep right on hatin' on that potato-headed motherfucker. Cause that's what I do.

Seriously, has anyone had an easier run to the championship? Kansas City? Larry Johnson is the only threat the Chiefs have and he'd already set the single-season record for rushing attempts; the Colts stacked the line and that was it for KC. Baltimore? Steve McNair is old and broken down and every time Jamal Lewis sees a bunch of big dudes standing in front of him he remembers prison and his butthole hurts and he just wants to go to his happy place and his happy place ain't the end zone. New England? They've got an old, slow defense (featuring a stroke victim!), no offensive line, and wide receivers that would have to fight to make a Canadian league roster. Chicago? Rex Grossman. Fuck Peyton and fuck Tony Dungy and his "football the way the Lord meant it to be played" bullshit. GOD DOESN'T CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL. Eat a dick.