Hell of a week that was ....

Herein lies some inappropriate humor, self-serving promotion, and some retail discussion that warrants your attention.

1) I hate that Anna Nicole Smith died, 'cause now I have to stop using this joke:

"I heard Anna Nicole Smith had recently bought out Big Lots, Piggly Wiggly, and the Harris Teeter line of grocery stores. She's talking about developing a supercenter line of stores, though, called Big Wiggly Teeters."

Now I have to use this joke:

"Before she died, I heard ...."

2) Did you know James Brown still hasn't been buried? Oh yeah, Google that one.

3) The Deep Discount DVD & Deep Discount CD company this week added books to the mix, then dropped the shit & just started going by Deep Discount. It's part of the government's plan to make sure I don't have any money.

4) I got some cool shit in the mail this week, namely a movie score based "Best of Nightmare on Elm Street" and Big Daddy Kane's "Look's Like a Job For ..." album.

5) Oh, and the pod(cast) for February got posted up. Don't sleep.

6) A Sci Fi Channel original Pumpkinhead sequel premiered on Sci Fi last night. Didn't watch it all, as I had taken some medicine and was flat on my back 30 minutes in. Looked okay, though. On the flip side, if you got a spare $5.99 or so laying around, order up "John Carpenter Presents Body Bags" from the aforementioned Deep Discount. A pleasant little horror anthology that will hit you where it counts, but as much as I like the first shocker, "The Gas Station," since the other two stories focused on body parts ("Hair" and "The Eye"), the rotation would have been more complete if the first story was body part related as well.

7) Rob Van Dam is soon to be the next addition to the TNA roster. Mark my words ...

8) That Other Site^TM is still the only place to give that giant Mongoloid boxer his press props. And Tom Bettini is still denied status as a notable Kingsport resident.

9) This week in new releases:
Comics
(from Diamond Comics)
DC: 52 #41
DC: Justice Society Of America #3
DC: Superman/Batman vs. Aliens/Predators #2 (of 2)
Marvel: Ghost Rider #8
Other: Army of Darkness vs. Darkman #3 (of 4)

DVD
(from DVD Talk)
The Butcher Boy
Deadly Weapons/ Double Agent 73
Departed
Fuck (... no, I'm not kidding)

CD
(from All Music Guide)
Shitloads of nothing

Video Games
Again, shitloads of nothing, unless you have a PSP

10) I do a day group at my local clinic - I keep saying "group" even though it's whittled itself down to one guy - and I've been promising to make good on this outing to the local movie theater. First he wanted to see "Code Name: The Cleaner" w/ Cedric the Entertainer (I call into question his surname), but apparently no one wanted to see this almost as much as I didn't/don't want to see it. So it died a quiet death.

Then he wanted to see "Freedom Writers." And Hillary Swank will forever be linked in my head as "that chick that played a dude." And I don't care how big her titties may get, or if she starts flashing vadge in public, I'm going to peg her for a he-she.

Well, I promised him, after all these reschedulings - due to goddamn accreditation audits all through the month of Rape - that I was guarandamnteeing him that we'd see a fucking movie this week. He picked "Norbit."

The funniest part of that film better not be the part where dude asks Eddie-Murphy-as-a-fat-chick if she's wearing a bikini bottom, 'cause it don't look like she is, and she hefts up her fat to show & prove. 'Cause I've now already seen that, and I have nothing left to look forward to.

Unless I look at the abstract humor of a movie where Eddie Murphy is chasing Eddie Murphy so that Eddie Murphy can fuck Eddie Murphy. I hate goddamn movies.