SGM Month of Halloween Horror Movie for October 15

"The Monster Squad" (1987)

From the back of the box: “You know who to call when you have ghosts, but who do you call about monsters? Whether it’s a bat in your belfry or a mummy in your microwave, the Monster Squad ain’t afraid of no ghouls!

“Count Dracula has until midnight to retrieve an ancient amulet that will give him final control over the delicate balance between good and evil in the world. To hel him, the creepy Count calls on some old friends: the weird Wolfman, grotesque Gill-Man, mildewed Mummy and freaky Frankenstein. As the ghoulish group gets closer to the amulet, it’s up to the Monster Squad, headquartered in the local tree house, to pool its questionable resources and stop the monster mayhem!”

The haiku review
Universal fiends
The world is in dire peril
They ALL have nards, guys!

Star of the film: Tom Noonan, recipient of the SGM Carny As Fuck award; dude lives the gimmick.

What rocked: Dracula is a sinister dude, even up to the point that he calls the five year old girl a “bitch;” the dialogue, all the way through (“Rudy, question.” “Shoot.” “Know any virgins?”).

What sucked: The continuity, but in films like this, who the hell watches for continuity; the forced attempts at humanizing the Frankenstein monster (generally stuff you'd find in most kids-themed horror films).