SGM Month of Halloween Horror Movie Double Feature for October 25

"Frankenstein Conquers the World" (1965)/ "Satan's Little Helper" (2004)

Frankenstein Conquers the World

From the back of the box: “The still-beating, disembodied heart of Frankenstein’s monster was transported from Nazi Germany to Japan for experimentation during World War II. But the heart is believed lost when allied Forces drop the bomb on Hiroshima. Several years later, a feral boy is running rampant through Hiroshima, killing and feasting on small animals. This causes alarm and arouses the curiosity of an American scientist, Dr. Bowen and is assistant, who take the boy into their care. Soon, the boy is growing at an alarming rate and exhibiting incomparable strength. The scientists only have one explanation: this is the mutate monster of Frankenstein himself! But this town isn’t big enough for two monsters. The destructive, underground-dwelling Baragon emerges to do battle with Frankenstein to the death!”

The haiku review
Mary Shelley's beast
Fight Godzilla's bastard son
Then get Mecha-Kong!

Star of the film: Nick Adams, somehow & someway lending a boatload of credibility to this film as the American scientist. Amazing how stereotype casts Asians as our intellectual betters, yet 87% of the time that they're under attack by giant monsters, they get our mongoloid asses out of bed to pull their asses out of trouble.

---

Satan’s Little Helper

From the back of the box: “Halloween will never be the same.
“Upon meeting a strange masked man, nine-year-old Douglas Whooly lives out the fantasy of his favorite video game ‘Satan’s Little Helper.’ The two embark on a hellish rampage through the small suburban community, but when the masked killer targets Dougie’s family, it may be too late to stop him. With the perfect combination of blood, guts and ingenious humor, ‘Satan’s Little Helper’ tells a gruesome tale that will keep you in stitches until the chilling end.”

The haiku review
Shot on video?
Wow! Just like eighties horror!
(Well, the shitty ones)

What rocked: This movie didn't cost more than $6.

What sucked: The child actor; the silent acting of the horror lead; seriously, this movie was boring as necrophilia ... or so I hear.