Saturday, December 01, 2012

Making sense of crazy

Deciphering the Ultimate Warrior promo from Royal Rumble 1990

If they refuse to understand that the power of the Ultimate Warrior has spread like a virus amongst the WWF, then continue to let them walk as normal as they seem.”

First of all, no, I’m not missing the first part of this promo.  He starts out in the middle of a thought.  The “they” he is referring to are the other participants in the 1990 Royal Rumble.  They imagine themselves as being destined for a greater goal at the end of the night, but they already fail themselves by not recognizing that the Ultimate Warrior is mighty.

But if those twenty-eight normal men want to have special attractions such as Royal Rumble, then you and I as the Warriors – the most powerful force in the WWF – will continue to see it only as another challenge, only as another day of combat.”

Those twenty-eight poor delusional fuckers are going to come to the ring anyway, and I’ll just be tossing bitches over the ropes on my way to main eventing Wrestlemania VI.  For I am mighty.

“Twenty-eight of those normal men, stacked one on top of another, can’t come close to the feelings and the destinations of Parts Unknown.”

You can’t see me.

“You realize, as I do, that the twenty-ninth man – you, Hulk Hogan – walk with a different force field around you, walk on horizons that are close to where I’ve been.” 

Hogan, I have no idea what the fuck you’re doing in this thing, since you’re the WWF Heavyweight Champion, but you do have the same kind of power and energy and dealer as I do, so in another life, we’d be bestest pals.

“But no one in the Royal Rumble shall form a team.” 

But, since I’m gunning for that number one spot, don’t look to me for any help when the shit goes down.  You’re on your own.

“Every man shall fight for what he feels in himself.”

Yep … on your own …

“And I, the Ultimate Warrior, will fulfill another destiny.”

See you April 1st.

Running time: 1m25s

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