Been under the weather for a couple of days...
and I've spent most of my time here at the PC.
I read the Heinlein story Ron linked to. It starts slow, but by the end of the first page I was into it enough and it finished quite nicely. I had to put entirely too much thought into figuring out a tesseract, including consulting Wikipedia, but it paid off. Reading well-written Sci-Fi makes me wonder why Sci-Fi is often treated with the kind of contempt that ought to be reserved for fan fiction. Of course the answer is elitism, which is unfortunate. The same issue occurs with comic books. I suppose it's just the eternal need to create a lower class to spit on.
Speaking of elitism and Wikipedia, I discovered Uncyclopedia, which is a parody of Wikipedia, magnanimously hosted by Wikipedia. I spent a large part of the day reading articles, which range from wildly hilarious to really stupid. Like Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia is a great idea. Also like Wikipedia, it is in the clutches of elitist editors and admins who have suddenly decided that they are the ultimate arbiters of information/disinformation and humor. Actually, I shouldn't say elitist. I should actually say dickhead. I created a satire of the ETSU entry at Wikipedia and added it to the Uncyclopedia and within minutes, it had been deleted.
Here's the entry:ETSU (expanded East Tennessee State University) was founded on October 2, 1911. It is a third-rate, land grant school located in Johnson City, Tennessee and is operated by random ideas written on pieces of paper pulled from a top hat.
ETSU was founded as East Tennessee State Normal School, but it was soon discovered that there were no Normal People in Tennessee to attend the school and no one was going to travel to East Tennessee without a gun in their back, so the name was changed to East Tennessee State Teachers College in hopes of attracting teachers to the campus. The ruse worked and hundreds of hapless teachers were enslaved, giving ETSTC its' first educated faculty. In 1963 a massive amount of misprinted textbooks were delivered to ETSTC as the publishers thought ETSTC was a landfill. Now, with both teachers and albeit misinformative textbooks, ETSTC changed its name again, to East Tennessee State Universatee, taking the spelling from the Merrium-Wabstars Dictionaery they received as part of the textbook shipment.
Due to the large, indigenous inbred population surrounding the area, ETSU is noted for its' Bluegrass and Country Music program. The school's most famous alumni is Kenny Chesney, a two-time, two-time Inbred Music Assocation Entertainer of the Year. The school's second most famous alumni is Timothy Busfield, an actor who dropped out of ETSU. This is highly representative of ETSU's student population demographic: 50% local inbred, 50% imported slacker. While ETSU offers many bachelor programs in the liberal arts and even graduate programs in medicine (although the AMA recommends patients who see a degree from ETSU's medical school to flee the premises immediately as they are likely in a Tijuana abortion clinic), most ETSU students graduate with
Associates degrees from local community colleges.Athletic Sports Sports-like teams, nicknamed the Fuckinqueers in honor of the surprisingly large gay community in Johnson City, compete play fail miserably in the NCAA Division I Atlantic Sun Conference. The programs were previously affiliated with the Southern Conference, but they were kicked out of the Southern Conference when ETSU dropped their football program after the 2003 season due to financial losses. The sports-like teams play in the Mini Dome, which is a large barn that was previously the women's dormitory. The Mini Dome serves as Johnson City's only landmark eyesore and most locals are quite proud of having the distinction of being host to the only indoor arena on a college campus that is not used for football. Apparently the university recently uncovered a large stash of gold doubloons and is planning to use the money to reactivate the dormant football program, because that's the only fucking way any idiot could justify bringing football back to ETSU.
ETSU is also known for having lots of different trees on campus, which would be fucking awesome if you could park your goddamn car in the trees, since the majority of the parking spaces available are so far from the classrooms that even Jesus would be pissed about how far he had to walk.
The listed reason for deletion was that it wasn't funny, which I know to be bullshit because I don't need some dickhead admin to tell me I'm funny. I am fucking hilarious. I sent a request for further explanation to the dickhead admin that deleted it and his reasoning changed to the article being a violation of the vanity policy, which is a policy that more or less prohibits articles that amount to "someone I know sucks" or consists of in-jokes that have meaning to five people. That's not an unreasonable policy, but my article is based on the concept that Southerners are stupid and the experience of attending a poorly-run public university more interested in athletics than academics. The ratio of universal jokes to in-jokes is about 1:1, although some of the in-jokes are universal enough that the ratio isn't an issue. For some reason, I decided to pursue the matter with another admin because the only legitimate issue is the humor, which the dickhead admin decided he was the sole arbiter of by deleting it instead of tagging it for speedy deletion and letting other comment on it. I'll keep SGM updated on the story, unless I decide to quit caring seeing as how I just blogged about a deleted Uncyclopedia article. I can blame it on the fact that I've been sick and bored. This is actually the nerdiest post ever at SGM, covering Sci-Fi and comic books as well.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Title TK
We famous! We famous!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 (X360) Review
It sucks.
Saying that the worst decision the WWE ever made was their decision to drop (or allow THq to drop) the AKI engine in favor of Yukes' crappy engine for their wrestling games is probably hyperbole, but not by much.
The graphics in SvR 2007 are great, but if a game on the 360 doesn't look great then someone fucked up. The create-a-wrestler is solid but a bit buggy, although being able to create your own entrance is nice. There are plenty of match options and you can even fight in the crowd. They added some little things, like rubbing an opponent's eyes into the ropes. And you have stamina which has to be regained by resting, reminiscent of the old Fire Pro games.
But the gameplay...oh, the gameplay pretty much eats it. Why do I have to hit the right bumper button AND the analog stick for a strong grapple, then hit the analog stick again for the move? Why can't I pull someone out of the ring under the ropes? Why is the button for entering the ring the same button used to pull weapons out from under the ring? Why does a six-year old game (WWF No Mercy, N64) on a nine-button controller have more intuitive controls than a brand new game on a fourteen-button controller? (The 360 controller uses the left analog for movement so the largely-vestigial D-pad can be used as four separate input buttons.) Who knows how badly the controls are in specialty matches, because I sure as hell didn't try any of them.
Why does it take me ten seconds to recover from a one-punch knockdown? Why doesn't your tag partner enter the ring to break up a pin or submission? Why, when you're a "dirty" fighter (I guess a heel, but I didn't play it enough to find out), do high risk manuevers hurt your momentum?
Why does a created character have a rating of 36 in Season mode? Shouldn't the point of a Season mode be about making the correct choices to put yourself in position to become a champion, not to be a jobber until you've built your character up, which, by my calculations, would take approximately 45 seasons? And why is it just one season? How about a fucking career? Haven't these idiots played an EA Sports game? Who the fuck plays just one season anymore?
Here's my experience with the game: play a couple of exhibition matches to get a feel for the game, spend two hours creating a wrestler, lose my first three career matches, turn the game off to play Saint's Row. I should have known something was up when I had to pound buttons for what felt like an eternity to recover from a knockdown in my first match, using Steve Austin against Hulk Hogan. I really should have known something was up when the same thing happened using Austin against Candice Michelle.
I'm not even dignifying this piece of shit with a count. Fuck the WWE.
Story time
Robert Heinlein can flat write
http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/heinlein/heinlein1.html
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I'm plotting to kill Sasha Baron
Every magazine cover I see with that fucking Borat, with his '70s porn stache, and his stupid thumbs-up & shit-eater grin, it's like, "The Manchurian Candidate," man, I'm all about wanting to kill some motherfuckers. The plus side is, the schtick is a one-trick pony, so if I can ride out the next, say, month or so, I might be in the clear, and no one will have to die.
(Now, there, I've typed all that, now watch me get reported to the authorities by some asshole unable to recognize sarcasm/satire/parody when they see it. I'll be getting in touch with one of you using my one phone call from jail. Maybe if I tell them I'm mentally ill ...)
Ahead of the curve...
..that's right, I'm ahead of the curve.
One year ago this week:"I did learn that MTV has decided to start their own wrestling promotion with such ring luminaries as Vampiro, Justin Credible, New Jack and Syxxpac23kid. You may remember Syxxpac23kid as the guy who made a sex tape with Chyna. As I learned from the pictures included with rotten.com's coverage of said sex tape, Chyna has a tiny penis where her clitoris should be. Either that or she has a vagina where her scrotum should be.
The original point of this post was to mention the MTVWF, which makes me wonder if they'll air the backstage segments on MTV and the actual wrestling on M2. Somewhere along the line I decided that you all needed to be reminded about Chyna's penis/inverted mansack and the sex tape she/he/it made with Syxxpac23kid. Now the point of this post is to posit a question: what is measurably worse? An MTV wrestling promotion, Chyna's penis/inverted mansack, Chyna having sex with Syxxpac23kid, the fact that they decided to make a tape of it, or the fact that they decided to distribute said tape? I report, you decide. Or you rip your eyeballs out in a fit of madness. Your call."
I didn't see WSX, but I'm guessing it sucks. I won't post the screenshot from Chyna's vagina (RHYME!), but here's the link to the Rotten Library article with the picture if those of you who saw WSX's debut want to compare it directly to the penitoris in question and answer my year old question: what is measurably worse? An MTV wrestling promotion, Chyna's penis/inverted mansack, Chyna having sex with Syxxpac23kid, the fact that they decided to make a tape of it, or the fact that they decided to distribute said tape?
Come on, people, you already gave MTV 30 minutes you'll never get back, so why not match that with some respect for humanity you'll never get back? Look at the picture and answer the question!
(Disclaimer: SGM and Rev. Joshua are not responsible for damaged eyesight, genital mutilation, murderous rampages and/or suicides resulting from viewing the picture.)
Friday, January 26, 2007
WSX = Shit
Everytime I say that I have seen it all, I see something else.
I would like to start this post by officially apologizing to Vince McMahon for criticizing the first episode of the new ECW. While it did not meet my expectations (which were admittedly high after the first ECW reunion PPV), it was not the absolute horrific train wreck that is Wrestling Society X.
For those of you who don't know, WSX is an MTV show that has been in production for something like 2 years. It debuted this week, and I caught the reply tonight. I could list 50 things I should have done instead, but I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt until the end. Fortunately, it is only a 30 minute show.
There were two matches tonight. The first actually wasn't that bad. It was between two cruiserweight guys (one of whom was managed by a preppy looking blone girl that wasn't that bad). It was a good match until the finish, when a busted-ish spot that involved a guy jumping off of her into a spinning DDT. All in all, 2 count on this one.
Then the crap started.
The "main event" was a 10 man WSX Rumble. 2 guys start. New guy every 45 seconds. Once all 10 are in, ladders are thrown in the ring and the first two guys to grab one of two contracts hanging above the ring are in the title match. Enough stipulations for you? Wait! There's more! If your feet hit the floor you are out. Not over the rope, just if your feet hit the floor. Also, they have a number of obstacles on the floor that if you go through, you are out. They included tables (ho-hum), live electric wires in a box (?!?!?), and a big box with a chain link fence on top of it that were filled with explosives (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!). So it starts, and it can't go too many places from there.
Our first WWE/TNA reject is Justin Credible, looking exactly as he did 2 years ago. Number 2 is Teddy Hart. Standard HArt gimmick....trained in the Dungeon, wearing pink. DOn't know if he is a legit Hart, but here he is. HArt has some good moves and hits some high spots.
Next guy I don't recall. He comes in and gets whipped. Then the wheels completely fall off when Vampiro comes out. I haven't seen Vampiro since 2001. He still has bad makeup, but he has also gained about 50 pounds. He also lost the ability to sell offense. He no sold a number of chops (if he is the monster face, we have a bigger problem than I thought).
After a commercial break in the middle of the match....
A few more people are out. One guy who looked like Psychosis but I don't think it was him. SOme guy names Kaos. Some guy named Alcatraz. And then....
Chris Hamrick and New Jack.
At the same time. Chris Frigging Hamrick and New Jack. Hamrick is billed from Bristol, TN, and apparently he is playing a racist gimmick. That's the kind of PR the Tri-Cities needs. So New Jack deposits Hamrick through a table. Then he jumps out after him. Ref DQs him. Ref thrown in ring. Ref gets guitar shot. Ok...so things are looking up when....
That no-talent loser Sean Waltman comes out smoking a cigarette and calling himself 6-Pac.
Sean Waltman. The man who got run off of the Surreal Life for crying over Chyna is now on here trying to reboot his career. So he gets in there and starts fighting.
Well, time is about to run out, so we get a guy suplexed into the box of live wires and they have these overexaggerated special effects that were obviously added in post-production that makes it look like the guy just shut down the power grid for the eastern seaboard. It looked cheesy as hell.
Then, person number 10 came in. Some jobber-looking fool named "Youth Suicide." Did you ever hear about how government agents would drive around in "non-descript" sedans? This guy is a "non-descript" wrestler. He was wearing black and a hat. He had a bucket of tacks. He got in, dumped the tacks, and Vampiro powerbombed him into them.
Then, the ladders come out. Waltman gets one (of course). Vampiro puts Youth Suicide into the box of explosives. Cue ludicrous special effects. Vampiro and Credible on the ladder. Waltman knocks off Credible and Vampiro gets the second spot.
So overall,the match gets a 1 count. THe show gets an automatic DQ for the special effects, the tendancy to cut to a screaming fan everytime a wrestler hits a spot, and the fact that it is filmed in a small TV studio. Utterly unwatchable. Sean Waltman should be selling TVs at Best Buy.
Wrestling Society X(?)
Um, anyone heard about this? It snuck up on me, and I wouldn't even know about it if it wasn't for 411 Wrestling. There's a repeat of the show on it's "official debut" on Tuesday @ 10:30 (making me dispute the definitions of both "official" and "debut." Click below for spoilers.
First off, the "musical guest" is Zakk Wylde and something-something. Can't understand a damn word of whatever song he's singing.
Already, the announcing sucks worse than anything I've ever heard.
Jack Evans vs. Matt Sydal - Both of these guys bring the pain, and the fans are pretty clearly behind wiggariffic Jack Evans, who CM Punk used to call "Flippy McFlippenstein". This thing had more spots than two dalmatians fucking, and less psychology than the clinic I left for the one I work in now. (BYRNE!!) Evans wins with a 630 flipping senton, and I'd wager that there's not a single true wrestling fan in that whole building.
Some of the tag teams headed to WSX: Yep, there's one called the Trailer Park Boys. One of the tag team's got Aguilera (who was Jesus in Smackdown ... he stabbed John Cena!!)
I do believe that this will be the last show of WSX I see. Not only for the wrestling/show quality, but all the shitty extra television I have to sit through, courtesy of MT-to-the-V.
Um, a quick check reveals that this is a 30 min. show. I think it's going to feel like 90. Sometimes I worry that I'm a bullshit mark elitist on certain things, because I'm very critical of stuff that I like sometimes. But I can't even suspend my critical side for this. This is an affront to all that wrestling means.
The main event is a battle royal (there's only been 3 or 4 battle royals on wrestling TV this week, but the ring announcer says it's something "completely different" ... hey, so did Monty Python an hour ago). Apparently once everyone gets in the ring, Rumble-style, then they can pull in ladders, and the first two wrestlers to pull down contracts hanging over the ring will fight for the WSX world title at the next WSX show ... if there is a next show. Knowing MTV, there'll probably be many more. Hell, there's a show chronicling the road to Bam Margerine's marriage, so apparently there's no discerning voice of reason at MTV. Oh, and around the ring are tables and "electrified wire."
It starts off with Justin Credible (ugh) and Teddy Hart (double ugh). Hart breaks out a non-productive backflip that hits nothing. I think Hart's a crack addict. #3 is Kaos ... oh shit, his pedigree is he's the longest running XPW champion, which is like being the prettiest prostitute on the corner. #4 is Vampiro ... goddamn.
Hey, a commercial for "Norbit" ... Eddie Murphy apparently responded to his Oscar-rumored role in "Dreamgirls" by running right back to acting in shit for paycheck roles. I'd like to see his fat woman character fight Tyler Perry's Medea.
Puma and Al Katrazz (yep ... I give up) made it to the ring during the break. Fuck, Six Pac (yep, Shawn Waltman) is here. I swear to god, he's smoking while he's wrestling, take THAT, faggot Sandman. Chris Hamrick ... oh shit, it's fucking New Jack!!! Someone's gon' die! Chris Hamrick looks older than damn dirt. New Jack is fucking crazy ... bring out Indian Joe or whatever that guy's name was that G fucked up. Youth Suicide in now ... who? Jim Neidhart? (I wish.) Wrestling rule #2080: if you pour out thumbtacks, you're gonna be the one eatin' 'em. Sunbitch, Vampiro has a serious fucking gut.
Zpac gets the first contract. Apparently he took the time to put out his smoke before he climbed the ladder. And, oh holy shit, Vampiro got the other one. So, next show it'll be Xpark vs. Vampiro & the midget hidden in his shirt for the WSX title, which will probably be worth less than the European title, the Hardcore title (WWF & WCW), the FTW title, and the Women's title (any of 'em, really) combined. Maybe it'll fetch someone some drug money on eBay in a couple of weeks.
This fucking garbage doesn't even warrant a count. I hate everything. Now I face the chore of whether to label this under "The Wrestling" or not.
[NBA] WAS 99 - DET 96
That game was tighter than a gnat's asshole! I do believe we got a glimpse of how the Eastern Conference might breakdown this year. Of course, don't count out Cleveland ... speaking of, can't wait to see them against the Suns this Sunday (1:00P, ABC).
Buuut ... this being the first game I've seen of the Pistons since the Webber acquisition, I don't know if I'm feelin' it. I might have to see how they function in another game, 'cause Webber & Rasheed seemed to just clang together like those clacker balls that sit on executives' desks.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Ring Of Honor running their Big $10 sale
Ring Of Honor Big $10 sale is on now!
I referenced Will to this pretty swank sale a while ago, so I've been keeping my eyes open for when it would come up again.
The sale goes through January 31st, even though currently it reads "December 31st." Out of what's offered, I would recommend: "Death Before Dishonor II Part 1;" "Midnight Express Reunion;" "Death Before Dishonor III;" "Reborn Stage One." (Kind of a weak offering this go-around, I have to admit.)
But those have some choice matches from Samoa Joe, which was one of Will's requests, plus it's a good opportunity to get exposure to some pretty good other athletes (Bryan Danielson, CM Punk pre-fake ECW, Colt Cabana, etc.)
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The shit don't stop 'til the breakadawn
Mostly current events stuff, including a news item from my own adopted little community.
See, now this is the shit I've been talking about. Dregs of humanity style shit; this is some dumb ass stuff that involves cheerleaders, a coach, a principle, and the SC National Guard. Thank God no one emailed a soldier telling them to get the fuck out of Iraq, or this just might have made the all-time best stupid shit list.
But, on a different note, this dominated a part of group therapy today. I made the comparison to how our society has set itself up to expect the worst in people anyway, so why are we shocked by stuff like this cheerleader thing, or the lady dying from hyperhydration, or some 29 homo trying to get himself into a high school so he can further corrupt children who probably grow up in environments that are far more corrupt that he could imagine.
I made the comment that I could be the best therapist that ever touched down on God's green, but no one would know about it. However, you put me drunk behind the wheel of a car that plow through three houses, and I'll forever be known as "that therapist that drove through them houses." That's the product of a sickened society. Hell, I'll bring this up here; even being a therapist - a male at that - you have that automatic stigma that eventually you're gonna want to fuck your female clients. I shouldn't have to keep my door cracked when I'm counseling a female, and good lord help us if she has issues that she wants to discuss about the sex act, 'cause then I'm just up shit riviera.
More fun Wikipedia shit, this time it's about how a community forum for independent volunteer editing really isn't that efficient. Which is funny, 'cause if you read deep enough into the article, you get the impression that they're disallowing a company that's at the target of insulting/ biased entries to make any adjustments to their entry. But yet, we can't get Tom Bettini recognized as a Kingsport resident without having to deal with infonazis.
The fact that a residential facility allowed Isaiah Washington to be admitted for calling a castmate a faggot is insulting to my profession. At least add that maybe it's because he married his butt-fugly wife. (Plus, as bad as people think it is that Washington dropped this slur, the fact that this article is titled "Gay-hab for Isaiah Washington" pleases me greatly, so much that I think I'm going to start code-naming the act of facilitating inpatient psych services for clients "going gay-hab.")
And I'm getting fed up with this ongoing trend I'm noticing with articles written by "reporters" apparently bereft of any grammatical skill. I thought, "Oh shit, Brandy died?!" only to find out that I cared about her for all of 5 seconds for no reason, other than the fact that her clumsy driving killed four people. But, that's kinda misleading, isn't it? A trip through Google News these past few days have yielded such wonderful nuggets such as this. I swear, when the news broke on the whole water drinking lady dying, I wondered how the hell some asshole reporter could try to convince me that hyperhydration had 3 children. Bah, fuck grammar. Apparently, much like personal responsibility for our actions, it's yet another thing that we don't need.
Fuck it, ya'll, it was a long day today.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Dregs of humanity ... face off!! Only on SGM!!
Okay, soooo, which is worse ....
The two guys housing a 29 yr old guy and having a sexual relationship, being upset that he wasn't a 12 yr old boy [more]
-or-
The family of a woman who died of water poisoning in a radio contest is suing the station that hosted said contest, in which the woman entered & competed of her own decision & free will. [more]
(No fair writing in votes for either the woman or the 29 year old sex offender, either.)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Shotgun Approach to Posting
[ATTORNEY GENERAL] ALBERTO GONZALES: There is no express grant of habeas in the Constitution. There is a prohibition against taking it away. But it's never been the case, and I'm not a Supreme --
SPECTER: Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. The constitution says you can't take it away, except in the case of rebellion or invasion. Doesn't that mean you have the right of habeas corpus, unless there is an invasion or rebellion?
GONZALES: I meant by that comment, the Constitution doesn't say, "Every individual in the United States or every citizen is hereby granted or assured the right to habeas." It doesn't say that. It simply says the right of habeas corpus shall not be suspended except by --
Is this better or worse than the time then-head of National Security and current-Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice admitted that she didn't know what a "warning" was? You know, I don't care what the context, and I don't care if Democrats could or would do better; this Administration is ran and staffed by liars, charlatans, and power-mad cocksuckers. There was, as I'm sure we're all aware, at the time of the ratification of the Constitution an argument for the need of a specific list of guaranteed rights of citizens; in light of this concern the Bill of Rights was added. At the same time, there was criticism of that argument in that listing guaranteed rights allowed for an argument that those were the only guaranteed rights. This criticism was somewhat mollified by the inclusion of the Ninth Amendment, protecting rights that weren't specifically listed. That criticism was founded partially in the idea that guaranteeing particular rights wasn't necessary because the Constitution didn't grant anyone the power to take away any rights of the citizens, demonstrating a shocking lack of foresight. Granted, had our founding fathers predicted the brazen and shameless emperial posturing of our current adminstration, I'm pretty sure they would have written a longer and far more comprehensive document. Or taken up alcoholism.
Moving on to the somehow-more absurd: entirely too many sports pundits are predicting an Indianapolis Colts victory over the New England Patriots in today's AFC Conference Championship game. These two clubs have faced each other twice in the playoffs over the last four seasons with the Patriots coming out on top both times. Obviously, with the parity of the NFL owing to the constant shuffling of players from team to team, rarely is a team's roster the same for an entire course of four seasons. Rarely is the head coach even a constant over that period of time. Accordingly, these two teams are not the exact same teams that faced each other three years ago. But the key personnel are still there: Peyton Manning, Rodney Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Brandon Stokley, Dwight Freeney and coach Tony Dungy for the Colts; Tom Brady, Corey Dillon, Troy Brown, Tedy Bruschi and coach Bill Belichick for the Patriots. And there are other bit players, but those are the ones of note with one exception: Adam Vinatieri, the uber-clutch super-kicker who won two Super Bowls with last-second field goals and provided the margin-of-victory for a third Super Bowl for the Patriots now plays for the Colts.
From every angle, the Patriots, the first NFL dynasty of the 21st century, are on the decline. A receiving corps of underachievers save for Troy Brown, a relatively inexperienced offensive line, a slow, aging and injured defense. Nothing like the powerhouse which previously won three Super Bowls in four years. On the other side, you have Peyton Manning in another statistically stellar season, the usual Pro Bowl-caliber receivers, two running backs performing admirably in replacement of workhorse now-Arizona Cardinal Edgerrin James and a defense which has held up far better in the first two weeks of the playoffs than they did in the regular season. So why not pick the Colts to win?
In seven winning seasons since Manning's arrival, including five straight, with Manning surrounded by a cast of players that have allowed Manning to put up record-breaking regular season statistics and have him well on his way to numerous career records, the Colts have yet to make it to the Super Bowl. The Colts' first three playoff appearances were one-and-done. The Manning-era Colts' first playoff win was followed by their second. That was followed by the first loss to Brady and the Patriots in the 2003 AFC Championship game. The next two seasons ended at the Divisional playoff level.
Aside from the 1997 SEC Championship game in which Manning led Tennessee to a victory over Auburn, Manning has shown little aptitude in high-pressure situations. Manning and Tennessee followed the SEC Championship with a terrible performance against Nebraska in the Orange Bowl (technically considered the Bowl Alliance Championship game and a victory could have led to a shared or outright National Championship, depending on the outcome of the later Michigan-Washington State Rose Bowl.) Manning-led Tennessee was unable to beat bitter rival Florida in four tries. Manning's first three playoff appearances were first-game losses; at home against Steve McNair's Titans, in Miami against Jay Fiedler's Dolphins, and in New Jersey against Chad Pennington's Jets. The Jets, which held Manning scoreless, would later be obliterated by Rich Gannon's Oakland Raiders. Recent losses were the aforementioned games against the Patriots and last year's loss to eventual-champion Steelers.
In that context, even disregarding Brady and Belichick's successes both against Indianapolis and the rest of the league, which previously came with questionable surrounding casts much like but truly not as presumably weak as this team, how can you possibly pick a Peyton Manning-led team to win? If the Colts win, then hey, you can say "I told you so," but with credibility on the line, you can't and you shouldn't pick the Colts.
And even more absurd than the last two items has been the widespread denial by the pundits of Manning's big-game ineptitude.
Finally, at the bottom of the fucking absurd barrel, a Georgian woman is appealing a court review of a school board decision not to remove the Harry Potter series of books from school libraries. Laura Mallory believes that the Potter series promotes witchcraft; her original complaint was dismissed by the school board because, well, they said "the books are tools to encourage children to read and to spark creativity and imagination," but I'm guessing that was a polite way of saying the bitch is crazy. A court of non-lunatics agreed with the school board, so she's wasting taxpayer's money and the court's time with an appeal because, "after much prayer and consideration" God gave "significant answers" regarding his opinion on this case. I guess if you're fucking dumb enough to believe that witchcraft is a legitimate concern then you're fucking dumb enough to believe God talks to you and also has a shitty understanding of the American legal system.
(With apologies to Jak D. for the title.)
Friday, January 19, 2007
Bam Bam Bigelow, dead at 45
"We can confirm that Scott Bigelow was found in his home this morning. At this time the cause of death is unknown," Doll told WWE.com. [more]
Goddamn, man. I'm not one that really gets bent out of shape about the deaths of celebrities, but when I have enjoyed what entertainment those performers have provided me, it does bum me out sometimes. Shit, I wrote that thing about his life being good material for a book; maybe that'll happen now. I'd buy it.
Peace out, Bammer. Here's to you and Terry Gordy meeting up for the "Battle of the Bam Bams II."
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
? about music you guys dig
I realize, in making these music podcast things, that not everyone shares my love for rap music, surf, and movie soundtracks. What kinda music would you guys like to seen end up on these things? I'm not opposed to buying some CDs, as long as I'm not going to be sorely disappointed, and I trust you suys in your opinions.
I'm working on February's mix now ... I think all of you have gotten a glimpse of part of it, either on AIM or through email. While some suggestions might not make it on this one, it might make it on the next.
Regarding “The Alpha Male” Marquis Corvan
In case you folks aren’t aware, Marquis Corvan debuted in WWECW last night, wrestling against some jobber who used to be on TNA’s Impact all the time. Marquis Corvan, a/k/a Monty Brown.
To say my reaction to his appearance here was mixed would be an accurate observation.
The good:
- ECW’s announce team of Taz & Styles played up his coming to the ECW brand as a big deal .
- Brown took on Cassidey Riley, who was a Fox Sports Impact mainstay, so he had a familiar opponent to face for his appearance (and damn, did Riley bump his ass off for Brown’s offense!) .
- Brown seems to have upped his offensive arsenal a bit, more reminiscent of his late Fox Sports Impact arsenal, which is a more grounded, striking and suplex heavy arsenal.
- The unedited “TNA! TNA!” chant by the ECW crowd was extra special.
- The POOOOOOUUUUNNNCE! Peri …. wait a second, though, we’re not done with that yet.
- The establishing post-match promo was pretty good; it lacked some of Brown’s coked-up charisma, but there’ll hopefully be time enough for that down the road, ‘cause he at least can run verbal circles around the current ECW champ, plus “I’m the hardest, regardless” ain’t the worst catchphrase you could have. And, he dropped some little mannerisms that might push him to Rock & Stone Cold status, particularly his little mocking of the “What?” chants that were being directed his way.
The bad:
- Gone is the cool entrance; no tiger skin jacket, lion-like sniff into the camera, the hyperkinetic look around the arena, the brow wiping on the buckle and ropes; just some guy, in some tights, coming out to some really whack entrance music (see: ugly, the).
- The Pounce is now a transitional move, and although it looked sicksicksick, and was a real crowd pleaser, Monty got the duke with some weird Russian legsweep/ rolling knees to the face/ Fujiwara armbar submission; another little thing I noticed was that Brown’s run off the ropes for the Pounce was awkward, as he started heading for the buckle and had to adjust to make the ropes … years of working that awkward angle of a 6 sided ring will do that to you.
- The Serengeti has been replaced with “the animal kingdom;” what a gyp!
The ugly:
- Marquis Corvan?? I see the reasoning here, due to licensing and trademarks and such (that’s why Lo Ki is now Senshi, Austin Aries is now Austin Starr, etc.). But Marquis Corvan? The announcers had no idea if he was supposed to be Mar-kee, Marky, Marcus, or Mar-kwees. Just go with Marcus, stop being so pretentious. Somehow I doubt Monty had any say in this. And I looked up “Corvan,” just to see if it’s supposed to be some froo-froo shade of brown (it apparently doesn’t have any special meaning).
- The shitty entrance music has got to go. I was expecting Flash Funk or the Godfather to come out. Bring back the hard opening riffs, or the pounding bass beats … the WWF music department really isn’t doing this one justice.
The future:
- Brown vs. RVD; vs. Lashley for the title; hell, since they’re jobbing out Sabu, they could turn in one of their awesome falls-count-anywhere matches, like the brutal one they had in the Nashville-era TNA. Oh, and I could almost have a smarkgasm at the prospect of Monty Brown vs. CM Punk. To a greater extent, if we project the possibility that Monty has to interact with the other members of the WWF roster, we could see him vs. Cena, vs. Batista (another smarkgasm), vs. Benoit, vs. Finlay, vs. Edge, vs. Orton, vs. Michaels, vs. Shelton Benjamin … hell, teaming with any of the above.
- He’s gotta have a new finisher, or return to the Pounce as the finisher of choice, ‘cause he’s not getting that convoluted armbar contraption over with me. Plus, the little things need to come back … the Alpha bomb, the overhead slam (with the “Are you not … entertained?” punctuation) … those were what made Monty Brown the phenom he was.
- He has a great opportunity to learn some stuff under Taz’ supervision, which would really be an easy transition and a great offense for him, as Brown’s arsenal in earlier TNA matches had a strong Taz-like quality (suplex-heavy, hard crossfaces). Hell, no one’s using the Tazmission … give it to him.
The bottom line:
I now have a legitimately good reason to watch ECW on Tuesday nights now. Funny part was, I heard about Monty Brown’s debut literally minutes before the show, and I only watched up to his match, then turned it off and went to bed. Until they move the Alpha Male into the main event, I probably still won’t watch a whole show. No question, Brown has major potential to become a huge player under the WWF banner. TNA dropped the ball big time not putting the title on him when they had the chance … but their best chance was back in 2005, around Final Resolution. Then they kept pushing him back further and further, for Christian, Sting, Joe, now Angle. I hope I get to see this guy do big things, because he could be the next big star with the right approach, or he could flounder big time; it all depends on how much WWF sees in him. As long as he doesn’t catch the Ahmed Johnson virus, he could be on top of the game.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Identity theft
Well, boys and girls, I am a victim of identity theft. I noticed some money had been used from my account that neither I nor the misses used, so we are putting a halt on our debit card and starting a new. I have no idea how it happened and it is quite scary.
On a lighter note, is there a way to save the adult swim shows from adult swim fix? I was just wondering because I notice some on youtube and I wonder how they did that.
Monday, January 15, 2007
More Wiki-Comedy
Go read the page for Brian Adams (Wrestler). Go into the history, and look at the last page before it was edited by Deedc. Someone, somewhere, has decided to up the ante on my Brian Adams comedy.
Move along, there is nothing else to see here.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Science Gone Mad - the Multimedia Empire
I've been working on the...well, I don't want to call it the "Main Site" because it's not the main site, but the other part of the site at http://www.sciencegonemad.com off and on for the past week or so. I haven't done any actual web page design/work in ages, so I'm still rusty and frankly, I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing. What I've done so far is in Dreamweaver and while I'd like to make the other part match the blog design, what I've done so far is probably as close as I'm going to get for a while. We'll be archiving Nate's podcasts at http://audio.sciencegonemad.com until the Feds crack down on it. Any suggestions for what we can do with the other part of the site will be welcome and appreciated. In fact, if y'all want to get online for an AIM chat sometime soon, say for instance Sunday night, we could discuss matters further. Or make fun of idiots in real time. Whatever.
