Emotional survival

I have my clients working on a skill in developing self-soothing techniques, for toughing out emotional crises. Like any good therapist, I'm working on this exercise with them, to model the appropriate therapeutic behavior. Dubbing it an "emotional survival kit," they're advised to get a box and cram it full of objects that they can use to get over emotionally upsetting moments. (These are the clients that are most notorious for going to the hospital for self-inflicted injuries, creating extensive problems within their support systems, and presenting with ongoing hopelessness/helplessness.)

In doing this, I've managed to assemble about eight things that I have used in the past to get me out of a slump:

1) "Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman/House of Frankenstein" (DVD): Perhaps the greatest movie monster mashup films of all time. The best is the latter film, which is actually a story told in two parts, the first focusing on Dracula, and the second about Frankenstein and the Wolfman. It was the first film that truly screwed Lugosi's name in Hollywood.

2) Mattel Classic Baseball handheld electronic game: Dad and I used to play this on Saturday afternoons while we'd wait for the NWA Saturday show on TBS.

3) More Balls Than Most brand professional juggling balls: I learned how to juggle by using five pound dumbell blocks. The balls were a birthday gift from a long time ago. Still a skill I like to bust out every now & then, just to get people's attention. Kinda like freestyle rapping in the middle of a therapy group.

4) A cryptogram puzzle book: See above; people who watch me work on these things are fun to watch. At first, they'll talk shit to me and say, "No one can ever solve those things." Then, while they watch me work on it, they're all like, "How'd you learn how to do that?" When I finish, they'll say shit like, "I never had time to learn things like that; I was too busy studying/dating/drinking/etc." Ejsyrbrt.

5) A racketball: I'll bounce a ball against every wall in the house for minutes at a time, usually to clear the cobwebs out of my head when I'm trying to write. Helps keep me centered.

6) A package of Swedish red gummi-fish: Great candy, probably eats away my bowels, but the pain will be worth it.

7) The recent PWI Wrestling Almanac: I've only got the 2004 volume now, with the 2005 due out any day now. I like the older issues though, as I was flipping through the 1997 issue, and the #1 biggest story of 1996 was the formation of the NWO; September 23 was the debut of the New Razor Ramon & Deisel; and the wrestling world mourned the death of Dick Murdoch.

8) "The Very Best Of John Coltrane" (CD): Between "Giant Steps" & "Body & Soul" are sandwiched nine of Coltrane's best tracks, including the phenomenal "Central Park West;" the Confederate Mack referred to this song when he said, "There's not a more beautiful song on Man's Planet," and I agree.

I'm looking at this list, and man, my coolness factor shot way down. But fuck, if it helps me relax, then who's the less coolest?