RIP Flavor Flav (1959-2005)

NP: PIL -- This is Not a Love Song

Ok. Flavor Flav is not dead. At least, he is not dead in the literal sense of his body no longer functioning properly and being able to sustain life. No, my friends, Flavor Flav is dead in the Hollywood/Show Business sense of the word. You see, the man we knew in the late-80s and early-90s is no longer with us. He has went off to the great realm of artistic integrity in the sky.

The man who helped to pioneer socially conscious rap is no more. The lone voice in the entertainment mainstream who trumpted the cold, harsh reality that 911 is a joke; the prophet who informed millions of teenagers, white and black, that a nine won't stop the bum rush, has sold his artisan soul in exchange for a fat paycheck on a second-rate clone of MTV.

For those of you lucky enough to not get cable, VH1 has started a spin-off/sequel of last season's Surreal Life that follows Flavor Flav on his quest to win the heart of the Amazonian actress Brigitte Nielsen. Nielsen, an ex-wife of Sylvester Stallone, is a washed up has-been who made her mark playing....well....Amazonian characters in 1980s action movies. Red Sonya anyone? The producers of the Surreal Life chose Nielsen because she fit the stereotype of an actress with a struggling career and also had an over the top personality. Flavor Flav, likewise, had been out of the spotlight for the last several years....and so they joined 4 other celebs and were baptised into the Church of Reality TV.

Admittedly, Flav did this to himself, but of the "celebrities" who are participating in this "Celebreality" craze that VH1 is trying to market, he is the only one who actually did anything that could be remotely considered important. Of the other celebs on the second season of Surreal, none have done anything even close to momorable. Dave Coullier knew the Olson Twins before they were famous and worked alongside Tawny Kittaen without being slugged, but neither of those are too high on the list of historical moments in TV. Charo has big salads, but she was a novelty act even in the 1970s. Ryan Starr was hot but got voted off of American Idol (and really, who hasn't). Jordan Knight was one of the NKOTB and chose not to follow the smarter Donnie Walbergh into respectability as an actor. Of all of these, only Flav did anyting to broaden the expression of black culture into the American mainstream. Only Flav questioned authority in a poignant way. Only Flav helped to bring hip-hop culture to a new generation of Americans. To see this man cavorting around the globe with a scary-looking woman greatly diminishes his legacy and tarnishes the good name of the rap group Public Enemy.

Flavor Flav -- RIP