The SGM Super 30 Black Professional Wrestler #17

Stevie Ray

Stevie Ray as 1/2 of Harlem Heat was great. Stevie Ray as 1/8 of NWO B-Team ... not so much, although you give the guy a mic and he was as good as Scott Steiner, any day of the week. And this was late 1990’s era WCW, when everyone was comic gold in their promos. When Stevie Ray took announcing duties ... after Juventud Guerrera, mind you ... honestly, I can’t realize why WCW went into the crapper. It was because of term like “fruit booties” that my faith in the wrestling was reaffirmed every Thursday. However, great turns of a phrase don’t help one overlook the godawful “slapjack” phase, when every Stevie Ray match ended with him smacking his opponent in the forehead with something that looked like an Odor Eater insole. Or the horrendous Harlem Heat 2000 angle he participated in with a rotund partner named Big T, a/k/a Ahmed Johnson, who wore a pink sweatsuit that made him look like a ballerina smuggling midgets across the border in his front pocket; thank God he still knew how to injure his opponents.

But still, I credit him for introducing the term “yaks” into my lexicon, as a method by which to refer to most of my ex-girlfriends. Of course, I also blame him for not having dated much after college, as then most girl became “yaks.” Oh well, you dabble in the field of psychology, you’re bound to link up with some fucked-up broads.