The SGM Super 30 Black Professional Wrestler #4

2 Cold Scorpio

This is a guy who does deserve to be in the top five, his brief stint as Flash Funk notwithstanding. Although, truth be told, the tag team he briefly formed with Terry Funk ... that was a classic moment.

2 Cold does some amazing things in the ring. He’s had some amazing matches with Rob Van Dam, Sabu, and Chris Benoit, among others. His aerial skills were quite often unparalleled, and he was criminally overlooked in his prime. Well, except for his numerous title reigns in ECW, but they had a tendency to not criminally overlook anyone.

However, as good as 2 Cold Scorpio was, and as much as I used to enjoy watching his matches, there are three little things about his career and in-ring work that stand out to me. Unfortunately, it’s not his great in-ring work, nor his incredible 450 splash, nor his incredible use of psychology. On the contrary, these three little things came while he was parading around as pimp extreme Flash Funk, and getting his ass handed to him on a regular basis:

1) When Mick Foley’s book came out, he noted that Scorpio had the largest penis that Foley’s ever seen. Thanks, you sock-puppet-wearing, book-writing fucker; that’s an unfortunate image that will forever be burned into my brain.

2) During the appearance of Big Van Vader at the 1997 Royal Rumble, Flash Funk attempted a high cross body on the Mastodon. Vader, standing mid-ring, caught Scorpio and performed a standing overhead slam, which propelled Funk over the top rope to the outside.

3) Flash Funk had changed his name back to Scorpio to participate in Al Snow’s WWF version of the JOB Squad. They were immediately thrown into a feud with Gangrel’s Brood. During a sidebar in a tag team brawl, the camera captures Gangrel, who worked a vampire gimmick, trying to bite the neck of 2 Cold. And get this ... 2 Cold is pushing away from the move, as if a bite from Gangrel would be the end of him. And why wasn't a bite on the neck Gangrel's finisher, anyway? I mean, why have a vampire gimmick if you aren't going all the way?

For your devotion to your craft, 2 Cold Scorpio, this Bud’s for you. Shame I didn’t get to see you on the ECW One Night Stand ... you’d have been great.