Jaywalking in Upper East Tennessee

NP: William Shatner -- Common People

Even though I am sweating in a miserably hot apartment in upstate New York, I've been trying to keep up with events back in the 423. I still peruse the Kingsport Times-News, the paper of record for Upper East Tennessee, on a daily basis. Today's KET had a story remarkable for its stupidity and its pointlessness.

The story can be found at http://www.timesnews.net/article.dna?_StoryID=3520019 and is headlined "Survey shows citizens know little about government, history."

All ready we are in trouble. We can see from the headline that someone has sent around a flyer in the mail and, based on the responses, the people were unable to answer them correctly. Because this article is so infuriatingly bad, I'm going to go back to the old school technique of posting the piece a paragraph at a time and then Deconstructing it for you. The article is italicized, my comments are in normal type.

If a random survey of 20 people in Kingsport is any indication, most anyone you stop can name an "American Idol" judge.

The wheels fall off right here from the get go. 20 people??? This reporter, Rain Smith (no, seriously...that's his name), is basing his article on surveys of 20 people? I'm fairly certain that 20 people out of about 40,000 is really not going to be a good indicator of the intelligence of the Model City.

However, most of those surveyed who live in the city couldn't name Kingsport's newly elected mayor.

Yep. It's that kind of story. People would rather be entertained (if you can call American Idol "entertainment") than read the newspaper. I'm not really sure why this is a newsworthy topic. I would imagine that if you asked 20 people on the street that couldn't name who Rain Smith is either.

Those surveyed were up to date on other pop culture happenings as well. Eleven knew actor Tom Cruise has a new fiancee.

So....55% knew, 45% didn't, and this is some kind of telling statistic? If it was 20 - 0 this might be an important statistic. I would imagine that more people watch Oprah than read the Times-News or watch the WJHL news....so this isn't really suprising. What has Kingsport's new mayor done to make news since he isn't even in office yet? Did he go jump on a chair at City Hall? Is his face plastered on the news as much as Cruise's is? Smith's argument is beginning to make no sense.

But when it came to American history, five people –– ages 21 to 79 –– were unable to name who America defeated in the Revolutionary War.

One time teaching a class at ETSU, I had a girl tell me that the South won World War I. She worked at Hooters. I did not put it in the newspaper. I bet if you would have asked these people who won the Civil War they would have known! Rain Smith must not be from this area.

Kingsport residents aren't alone in being more familiar with pop culture than government or history.

Thank goodness for small miracles.

"It's been like that for a long time. You'd have the same answers anywhere else in the country," said Joe Corso, East Tennessee State University assistant professor of political science. "When it comes down to it, more people know about the lives of celebrities than can tell you the name of the president."

Here again, this proves that the story is not newsworthy. I don't know if the Times-News is still running story quotas for their reporters each week, but taking a page out of Jay Leno's book to do your job smacks of gimmick infringement. He owes Jay Leno a dollar.

Jeanette Blazier, Kingsport's outgoing mayor, wishes that weren't the case.

Good for her. I didn't know that the mayor of Kingsport, Tennessee was in charge of the general knowledge and public culture of those in her city. I thought she was in charge of pouring money into failed economic developments near Meadowview to debase the city's tax structure and make all of the industy go to Bristol and the service and retail stores to Johnson City. Be Loyal, Buy Local.

"It is very important for the citizens of any community to understand first the form of government they have and to understand how it operates on their behalf," she said.

I would like to ask Mrs. Blazier to chair the new Science Gone Mad Committee on Irony. Everytime the City of Kingsport has an election for something that Kingsport Tomorrow or some other civic group wants, such as a tax increase to fund Meadowview, it fails. At that point, the city leaders hold another election and pours more money into it. Eventually they either win or the Board of Mayor and Alderman just implements it themselves. Apparently Mrs. Blazier needs to know how elections work. She doesn't have room to say a word.

Last week the Times-News visited a Kingsport post office, the Fort Henry Mall, and three city parks. We asked 20 people - selected at random - to answer a survey to gauge how much they know about civics and history versus pop culture.

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Why didn't they visit the Kingsport Public Library? Why didn't they visit ETSU? Maybe they were looking for people to answer a certain way? Could that be it? Chances are, depending on what city park they went to, they could have found an undercover cop who might have known the questions.

The results were used to compile this story. Nine men and 11 women agreed to take the survey. Their ages ranged from 18 to 79.

At least he didn't just go for young people.

The following are the questions and their responses.

Can you name a judge from the reality TV show "American Idol"?

This first question garnered the second most correct answers. Thirteen people could name a judge, and six could name all three - Paula, Simon and Randy. The seven people who could not answer the question were between the ages of 50 and 79. Two of them said they don't watch much television.

What the Hell is this? Why is this in our newspaper? Honestly, it is bad enough that they have a picture of some random person on the front page everyday with the words "Good Morning from: Joe Blow" or whoever, but this takes the cake. This may be the worst article in the history of Kingsport journalism. Since Ron Bliss had a 20+ year career at the Times-News, that is saying a lot.

Who is actor Tom Cruise currently engaged to marry?

Nine people knew Cruise's new flame by name –– Katie Holmes.

Three others knew Cruise had a new love but couldn't recall her name. Two answered "that new chick" and "the young black-headed girl."

I love those last two. "That New Chick." That's great. Here again, why is this an important question to ask?

Who is Tennessee's 1st District congressman?

Of the 20 people surveyed, 19 live within the 1st District. Only eight of those correctly answered Bill Jenkins.

Former, longtime Congressman Jimmy Quillen was mentioned by two people who did not know their current congressman.

"I don't know these things," a 73-year-old woman said. "I don't want to know. I did my house in the 1940s style, and that's where I'm going to stay."

When one woman learned her congressman was Jenkins, she replied, "Oh yeah, I voted for him."

Ok. I think this question is a bit more valid. I really like the 73-year old woman. She is staying in the 1940s. What out for those Communist bastards ma'am.

I would also like to argue (and I am somewhat of an authority on this), Congressmen from the First District have not done anything important since the Reece Commission in 1954. Jimmy Quillen, I think, authored one bill his whole 36 or so years in Congress. Bill Jenkins voted to impeach Clinton but I haven't seen his name attached to any groundbreaking legislation. The 8 people who knew probably had to call Jenkins' office when their Social Security checks were late and would not have known who he was otherwise.

Who is the nation's current Secretary of Defense?

Donald Rumsfeld may be responsible for directing the Defense Department's war effort, but that's not enough to earn him the notoriety of "American Idol's" Paula, Simon or Randy.

Only half of the 20 people surveyed properly named Rumsfeld, compared with 13 who can name a judge from "American Idol." Four people said Colin Powell, and two people said Condoleezza Rice.

"It's not Cheney, is it?" asked a 64-year-old man.

An important point: more people knew who Rumsfeld was than knew who Jenkins was. That proves my point above. The editorializing comment in the second paragraph comparing Rusmeld to the American Idol judges helps give this article a slant that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. More on that below.

Who did America defeat to gain Independence in the Revolutionary War?

If, as the saying goes, you have to know where we've been to know where we're going, a quarter of our population may be lost.

Five of the 20 people surveyed did not know American colonists defeated Britain to win our nation's independence. A 50-year-old man answered France. Three women - 32, 71 and 79 - had no answer.

A 21-year-old laughed when she couldn't answer the question, defending herself by saying, "history was not my subject."

Here we go. Now we finally get to the point of the article. Look at that second paragraph...that nonsense about being lost. This guy is just out to make Kingsport people look like dumb hillbillies. 15 people knew that. Granted, I wish it had been 20 people, but I would think that 15 out of 20 is pretty good. He squashes that by throwing in that lost comment there and then tries to again say that the survey is representative of the general population. It isn't.

In reference to city government, what is the BMA?

Fourteen of the 20 people surveyed were Kingsport residents, qualifying them to answer the question. Six correctly answered the Board of Mayor and Aldermen. But the majority of Kingsport residents surveyed, eight, did not know. One woman, 71, said it was "the board of something." Two women said "the business something," while a 50-year-old man living in Kingsport said, "they don't concern me."

Only until they want to raise your taxes to build a new golf course that you can't afford to play on, sir.

Who is Kingsport's new mayor-elect?

Of the 14 Kingsport residents surveyed, only two properly identified Dennis Phillips as the city's new mayor. A 71-year-old woman knew it was, "Dennis something," and an 18-year-old male mouthed the "Ph" sound three times before giving up on the rest.

A 31-year-old woman living in Kingsport who didn't know said, "We watch ‘Fox News.' We really don't keep up with local news."

A 64-year-old man said, "I read all about it in the paper, but now I'm having a senior moment (and can't remember)."

One man surveyed is a Blountville resident. He was unable to name Richard Venable as Sullivan County's mayor.

Oh law. Look at that third one. She only watches Fox News. Nothing like trying to say that conservatives are dumb. This article is more biased than anything Nellie McNeil has ever written.

How many years are city alderman terms?

Three of the 14 Kingsport residents correctly answered four years. Others guessed two-, five- and six-year terms, with three saying they didn't know.

The man living in Blountville correctly answered his county commissioners' terms last four years.

The sad thing about this whole piece is that Rain Smith got paid for this. This article did not inform me about anything, other than Rain Smith obviously doesn't like this area. Had he mentioned something about Kingsport's Adult Education program or suggested ways for people to keep up with current events outside of Hollywood, it might have been constructive. As it is, this does nothing but run down the residents of Kingsport. Liberal elitist.