Wow, one week in and already I seemed to have dropped this little project. Actually, though, blame paperwork, as it goes when you write therapy notes and lectures for about 8-10 hours on end, you have a tendency not to want to write an article, no matter how much you like doing that. Anyway, here we are, on the 16, and it's a whole new weekend. Huzzah.
Why doesn't Hallmark make a "I'm sorry I slipped it up your bottom" card?
Taylor Behl? Yeah, I'd fuck her ...
(God, I can only hope that shows up on a search engine.)
Just had the pleasure of watching two movies that I just got from the best online movie store in the freakin' world, Deep Discount DVD.
Thriller, or They Call Her One Eye: Good lord, you want to know where Tarantino steals all his ideas? Just look at grindhouse and foreign cinema. "Thriller" is basically "Kill Bill" if Elle Driver was the bride & didn't talk, with some hardcore sex thrown in (you see insertion, which was quite unexpected) to punctuate the tragic storyline. It's revenge at its most visceral and most basic ... Christine Lindberg is one hot chickie, color-coordinated eye patch, monster bush and all. She plays a girl who gets throw into a world of prostitution, and from day one plots her way out; for her disobedience there are consequences though, like the scene where her eye is gouged out. When that magic day of redemption comes, buddy, blam. It's one raw film (it's subtitled "A Cruel Picture").
*Note: There's a yellow covered DVD edition called the "Vengeance Edition," which is the film minus the graphic sex scenes (for sale in retail chains like Best Buy, which I guess shy away from selling graphic sex).
Dog Soldiers: Coop clued me into how cool this film was while it was on the way in the mail. Judas wept, what a film! SAS troops vs. werewolves ... blood, gore, and violence abounds. About 3/4 the way through, I was wondering if this'd be the first werewolf film I'd see w/o a transformation scene (which would have been balls), but I was pleased to see that wasn't the case. Fantastic acting on the parts of all involved, and an incredible amount of suspense is maintained almost from the first scene to the last. Definitely one to watch/buy, and pair it with "Ginger Snaps" for a double feature for Halloween, and I assure you there'll be no disappointment.
Thanks Raw 10/10 ... for showing me the light. See, when a zombie like Linda McMahon becomes your top heel, it's time to throw in the towel. Therefore, I'm officially giving up on watching WWF for the next 30 days ... let's call it an experiment I'm undertaking.
WWF moved back to USA, and for the second week in a row it's like 1999 all over again. The McMahons are far enough out of touch with their fanbase that they aren't even good enough to book a shitty show, much less a good one.
Last Monday's Raw was abysmal. But, at least for the next 30 days, I'm giving up on the show, so that I won't have anything to complain about neh-more. Bwah-ha-ha!
Unless TNA starts sucking the meatpole ... which it hasn't ... yet ... *dumh dumh dahhhhh* Of course, if this does start to happen, at least I can always count on DVDs from ROH, TNA, and the superstar editions from WWF.
Is Wikipedia for real?
(Each word leads to a different article ... some may be NSFW.)
While working my way through the Undertaker legacy DVD set (revisiting disc 2 of 3 as we speak), I can honestly say that you can never hear the man's opening theme song too much. Not at all; almost, what, 20 yrs in the game and the man's really changed very little in anything ... his gimmick, his promos, his moveset, his angles, his entrances ... how much you want to bet he NEVER lets go of his Wrestlemania winning streak?
I still say the Inferno match fun to watch. Why this has never made it into a WWF video game is a disappointment ... unless it has made it into one of those Acclaim abortions or the THQ Smackdown games that I can never get the hang of.
October has rocked the block for rap album releases this year. Just the tip of the iceberg:
Blackalicious - "The Craft": Some of the work on here isn't as reach-out-&-grab-you as their previous work on "Blazing Arrow," but they work that same album's "one whole composition composed of each track" concept neatly. "Power" sounds suspiciously like "Hey Yahh" by Outkast, which makes me cringe. Yes, I may be elitist as fuck, but I truly think that the Black Eyed Peas were better before "Elephunk" (because then came that song about some chick's ass), and Outkast were better prior to "Stankonia" (because then came Andre Benjamin's acting career). - 2 1/2 count
Strong Arm Steady - "The Collection Vol. 1": Krondon is probably my new favorite rapper, no matter how much like Rondo Hatton he looks. Maybe it's because he's just "too big headed to stop" ("What Is It"). He turns in one of the most sparkling joints in "Million," and his flow, while not necessarily the most lethal, certainly is life-threatening. And I for one will always mark out over any combination of Planet Asia, Xzibit, and Phil tha Agony. - 2 3/4 count
Danger Doom - "The Mask & The Mouse": The collab between Danger Mouse & MF Doom that Adult Swim's been harping about since mid-August is finally here. It has some really good tracks ("The Mask," "Old School"), and some interesting concepts ("Vat of Urine"), but interjections by Aqua Teen Hunger Force characters, a short running time (a little over 30 min), and self-censoring keep this one from being the classic I was hoping it would be. - 2 count
M.O.P. - "St. Marxmen": Hadn't heard much about this release, although I have heard that M.O.P. have been scoped out by 50 Cent for his G-Unit. Oh well, I still like 'em. Firing squad!! - Rating pending.
Public Enemy - "New Whirl Odor": "Rebirth of a Nation" was supposed to come out first, but legal stuff is keeping it on the shelves until Jan 2006, so N.W.O. (minus Kevin Nash & Stevie Ray, hopefully) is coming at us from Slam Jamz. No advance words on what to expect, but I hope against watered-down PE funk; maybe Flav will apologize on wax for almost aborting all that PE had done right with his VH1 garbage. - Rating pending.
Of course, missing last week, I missed putting up the horror movie DVD releases for the week. Here's what came out last week ...
- The Dark
- Frankenstein Island (Ooh, John Carradine = workrate!!)
- Hammerhead (A Sci Fi Channel favorite)
- High Tension
- Hookers In A Haunted House (I could get behind the philosophy behind remakes if they'd remake this one, starring Misty Mundae [may be NSFW]
- Undead
And, in the interest of the possibility that I might miss next week, here's what's coming out then, too ...
- Dark Shadows, The Revival - The Complete Series
- Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium
- Season of the Witch
- Ghost Hunters - Season 1
- Land Of The Dead
- Saw (Uncut Edition)
Super Saturday Funtime Review Saga
(Doyou taisaku-ma supa rebyu-fan)
Return Of The Living Dead: Necropolis
What Worked:
- "Send more security guards."
- Peter Coyote ain't your uncle, he's your daddy.
- Tazing the victim to tazer the zombie is even cooler when the victim is a 10 yr old.
- Oh shit, they killed the kid! Hot damn, that's something you don't see everyday ...
- The cyber zombies were too cool for school; worlds ahead of the primitive work they were doing with the cybernetic enhancements on the living dead in "Return 3."
What Sucked:
- "Have you ever wanted to get it on with a triple-jointed Sagitarius gymnast?"
- Just when you thought Zeke's dialogue couldn't get worse, he busts out the post-mortem soliloquy.
- Poor attention to continuity; In "Return of the Living Dead 1-3," headshots do nothing to stop the living dead, but suddenly for this installment they do.
- Did 4-eyes just say, "Bring it, biotch?"
Return Of The Living Dead: Rave To The Grave
What Worked:
- The naked devil girl during the drug dealer's trip.
- When the zombie chick starts going down on her boyfriend: "I usually have to take you to Olive Garden first."
- The INTERPOL guys were a nice addition.
What Sucked:
- Network television censorship, saving my virgin eyes from numerous tittie shots.
- Uncle George bites it early.
- The apparent disregard for time frames when it comes to how long it takes folks to become zombies ... some turn instantaneously, some take days and days. No rhyme or reason to this, either ... that's just lazy.
- The lack of continuity from the previous film to this one ... why do the same characters not know what's going on, when they were involved heavily in zombie shenanigans from the prior film?
- Tar Man 2k5; Alex Trauman, you are sorely missed, my man.
- Apparently, "brains" in Lithuania translates into "chunks from the backs of victims' skulls," as very little actual "brain" munching went on, for the sake of "skullchunk" munching.
TNA: Impact on Spike! (Oct 15 2005)
What Worked:
- That bomb ass funeral segment; from the WWF jabs (check out the guestbook before the segment kicks into high gear, as well as a Katie Vick reference), to some nice subtle and not-so-subtle humor (the price markdown of the 3D merchandise was a nice touch), to Team Canada~!, the whole thing just freaking worked.
- Sabu vs. Rhino, in what, a rematch from their "One Night Stand" match?
- Very nice build toward the Bound For Glory PPV on the 23rd; in just three short weeks, I know who's facing who, who's involved in what general storyline, I know my faces, I know my heels ... the booking hasn't been too bad, and it seems to have settled into a comfortable groove, following the first show which was criticized for being a bit rushed.
What Sucked:
- AJ Styles almost frugged up a fine main event with his slip off the top rope. An accident, I understand, but it still sucked.
- Daniels' fucking collar; where the hell'd he dig that thing up from? I've watched TNA on & off since it's inception, and this is the first time I'd noticed that thing. You're telling me he waited 'til now to break that out?!
- Oh, Mikey Batts & Jerrell Clark, how far you have fallen ... I would have dug a feud between this team and the Naturals back in the day, but when Monty "Goddamn" Brown takes you out, you have no chance.
- That damn fat-burner commercial, playing in every other break. I think I would have preferred a return to the Girls Gone Wild commercials, I don't care if Tracy Brooks does make a reference to dropping trou'.
Okay, that's it for me. Thanks for reading. Catch you on the Darkside ... vote for your team in the 2005 Hennig Cup!
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