The Lost Weekend: Oct 28-30

Did I tell you that I quit watching WWF Raw a few weeks ago? After reading about the colon surgery skit on last Monday's show, I'm not only happy about my decision, but also I feel that I've inherited a moral superiority to some folks that seem to masochistically keep watching that shit.

Of course, much could be made about the fact that, even though I don't watch, I keep up with the results. Well, I do like to know what I'm missing from a show that I once watched religiously, and now can barely stomach. I don't want to miss that "big angle" or "great wrestler" that could singlehandedly turn things around. But I don't think we'll have to worry about that for quite a while.

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The SGM Hoss Report
Whatever happened to the big man in wrestling? As prominent as the Big John Studds, the Steve "Dr. Death" Williams, and the Van Vaders used to be, it seems that big name professional wrestling is relying more and more on the lighter middle- to cruiserweight wrestlers to push their product. John Cena is the current big name WWF champion. Jarrett is holding weight in a fed where the X-division reigns highly on the list of important contributions of TNA. However, the big man, the heaviest of heavyweights still lingers on. This is to review the contributions throughout the week of the big man ... the HOSS~!

(The number in parenthesis after each name is that wrestler's rank from last week. A "-" indicates a wrestler not rated.)

1) Rhino (-): Damn. The man first beats three other wrestlers in a balls-to-the-wall hardcore mayhem match ... goes on to defeat 9 other wrestlers in a Gauntlet match ... THEN defeats Jeff Jarrett to become the NWA World Champion. All this, and he did it off of no sleep, no food, no water, and no external light for 24 hours. That, wrestling fans, in a MANBEAST!!!

2) Batista (1): So now the lovefest with Eddie Guerrero is down and over with, and next up is a program with Randy Orton, who went from a feud with Undertaker to a feud with Roddy Piper? Yep, worth a drop to #2.

3) Monty Brown (5): Kills Lance Hoyt on his way to the NWA World Title. He also makes an appearance in some muscle supplement that airs ads during every commercial break on Impact. "Are you not ... entertained!!?"

4) JBL (6): Makes what appears to have been a pretty swell appearance on Raw, but follows that up with a loss in a major 5-way match that could have helped him in the voting for Taboo Tuesday. Plus, he punked out Masters by calling him a "gorilla," a JBLism that I actually would like to have watched Raw for ... but just that segment.

5) Abyss (7): Tanks out on the Monster's Ball, taking a sick swanton from Jeff Hardy, but does come back to beat Lance Hoyt (this week's two time loser) in the opening match on Impact. He's up for a match against Sabu at the next TNA PPV, and looked a little faggy running from a Sabu wrapped in barbed wire while holding a bag of thumbtacks that he's tasted more than his share of times.

6) Big Show (4): Yeah, he's in the running for the Taboo Tuesday and all, but does anyone really believe that he's going to get any votes? C'mon, it's the damn Big Show ... who's lost more than his share to both Cena & Angle. Show eats the loss in a big three-way that opened Raw and apparently lasted less time than a skit about things coming out of Jim Ross's ass.

7) Kane (3): And here's another hoss that lost a big money match that could have propelled him in the voting at Jaboo Tuesday. The reason he ranked lower than Show is that he managed to screw his back up during this match. Ordinarily, because he didn't get pinned, he would get put over Show in the rankings, but the back injury, combined with his hyped up return & downfall just 6 days later makes for a bigger drop. Ah, well, maybe this time next week we'll be talking about Show & Kane, tag team champs.

8) Bobby Lashley (-)/ Chris Masters (8) (tie): Remember just last week, when Bobby Lashley was the "Hoss to Watch?" Wow, that ended pretty quick. A war with the FBI v6.5 will gain you no ground. Well, except the bare bottom of the rankings.

Masters, on the other hand, lost a chance to move up when he got made a fool of by JBL. He feel for the oldest game in the book, which was in fact the exact same game that Masters pulled off one week before!!

Hoss to Watch
Oleg Prudius - I can hear you asking now, "Who the hell ...?" Jerry Jarrett defected from TNA to WWF in a move that I think WWF is making a bigger deal of than is really necessary. With Jarrett came the option to sign a wrestler named in the press releases simply "The Russian." Prudius is actually a Russian wrestler/MMA fighter. Ah, the MMA fighters ... great competitors ... who could forget the contributions of Ken Shamrock, Dan Severn, Tank Abbott, and Daniel Puder? Prudius, I can't wait to see you on Velocity, that show that doesn't even come on TV anymore.

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Turner Classic Movies has an absolutely outstanding Halloween lineup for Monday.
6:00 am - Nosferatu (1922)
7:30 am - Vampire Bat, The (1933)
8:45 am - White Zombie (1932)
10:15 am - Mad Love (1935)
11:30 am - Cat People (1942)
1:00 pm - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
2:30 pm - Village Of The Damned (1960)
4:00 pm - Birds, The (1963)
6:00 pm - Psycho (1960)
8:00 pm - Poltergeist (1982)
10:00 pm - Uninvited, The (1944)
12:00 am - Haunting, The (1963)
2:00 am - Horror Castle (1963)
3:30 am - Castle of the Living Dead, The (1964)

Me, I'm planning on staging a horror filmfest of my own, since I've seen or own the majority of those films on TCM. Showtime begins whenever I get home from work (unless I continue this pattern of congestion & don't go in).

~ 5:00 pm - Old Dark House
Movie 2: Tombs Of The Blind Dead
Movie 3: Maniac
Movie 4: Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
Movie 5: Dario Argento's Opera

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Daylight savings time ... Why just an hour? Why not a whole day? I'd like to get my Saturday back.

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Thanks to the Toys-R-Us Buy 2-Get 1 Free sale I shamelessly advertised last week, I have more freaking videogames than I know what to do with. Picked up a copy of "The Sims 2" for PS2 for this chick that lives in the house with me, plus about 9 other games for a grand total of $120. "Shop smart ... shop S-mart."

Resident Evil 4 - From what I gather, you're not fighting the tried and true zombie enemy, as you're fighting mind-controlled villagers and a guy with a long beard that looks like his name should be Rasputin, the Mad Monk. A slight departure, but no doubt an intriguing twist in the old pattern.

Kya: Dark Lineage - I kinda dig this little game, where you play a chick who is more than she seems. And really, what "ordinary person" in games isn't "more than they seem?" Except protagonists in Rockstar Games, where most of them are pretty much EXACTLY what they seem.

Shadow of Rome & Gladius - The former, a gladiatorial hack-and-slash, in which you can use the arms of your enemy to beat the hell out of them. The latter, a gladiatorial RPG that has a well-written storyline and what appears to be hours of gameplay. Unleash hell, Maximus.

Dark Cloud 2 - I don't dip very heavily into long-term RPGs, so I figured Dark Cloud 2, with its fancy-ass 5-star reviews all over the damn place, would do the job. And since it was technically a free one, why not?

Prince of Persia:Warrior Within & Hitman:Contracts - Well-rated sequels to some awesome games that I've played, but couldn't find copies of, so I went with their successors. Hitman I'm particularly ready to play, since killing people is really what I get videogames to do, anyway.

ICO - "A boy with horns is born into a village ..." Already worth the $7 I dropped on it.

Shadow of the Colossus - By the "ICO" folks, and it's actually similar in theme to "Blood Will Tell," the game I spent all summer playing. You have to unearth 16 (I think) mountainous colussi, find a way to mount their bodies, and kill them. Each colossus is its own level, which is an interesting concept; can't wait to play it through one good time. (Currently, I'm on "Viewtiful Joe," "God of War," and "Bard's Tale," all at the same time.)

(At this point, I realize how damn hard I work at my mental health therapist job, as well as my professor job, and I don't go around bragging about all the shit I get with my money. But, if I was ever robbed, I'd probably kill the person who did it, 'cause I can't stand lazy motherfuckers who try to get shit at the expense of other people's security and safety. If I made less money and/or had less interests, I'd be just as happy with what I had then.)

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Zen of Science Gone Mad
The transition between summer and fall, when the merciless sun shines but the breeze whips through the air to keep your head cool. The glide of shoes over a waxed floor. Falling asleep on the couch after a long day. The students "getting it" for a change. A client expressing gratitude for hard work done. Nudity in horror films. Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk from "World Title Classic". A backrub. Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" and the "Hagakure."

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Slow week, which is odd for a Halloween week, but everytime I turn around I'm seeing more and more Christmas stuff, which only reminds me that the end of the year is only 2 months away. Pbbbt. Who needs to be rushed? The new year will come, regardless of whether we rush it or not. So let me get the jump on this trend to speed up our holidays before someone beats me to it, and wish everyone here a safe and happy St. Patrick's Day.