Why doesn't Hallmark make a "I'm sorry I slipped it up your bottom" card?
Because they know you're not really sorry that you slipped it up her bottom and they have enough bullshit to peddle as it is without insulting someone's intelligence. They have, however, considered a "I wouldn't have taken it out if you hadn't screamed like a banshee" card, but they realize that this is also too obvious of a sentiment for anyone to believe you cared enough to spend money in order to express it.
This has been SGM's "Answers to rare rhetorical questions" segment, funded in part by viewers not quite like you who are decent enough to send in donations.
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