I don't know what's a more disturbing waste of money, the Burger King condiments chorus line commercial, or "16 Blocks, starring Bruce Willis & Mos Def."
The "magic fridge" Bud Lite commercial was pretty funny.
108 balls?! How the hell does he walk? So, they get a new ball every play ... so they're expecting only 108 plays during the game? What do they base that stat on?
Good god, the Rolling fucking Stones for the Halftime show? Didn't they already do the halftime show once before?
FedEx serves up a shitty offering ... where's the PETA stroking "No animals were harmed ..." disclaimer, because I'm just waiting for a virtual-animals' rights group to start up some day.
I'd actually buy a Diet Pepsi album before I'd ever lay hands on a Puff Daddy album.
How much is it costing per second for commercial time during the Bowl? 'Cause I've just seen the third *different* Bud Lite commercial during the 1st. And why is it that beer commercials manage to get better writers than the WWF? (Just wondering.)
There it is ... at 10 after 7, the first mention of Janet Jackson's tittie, in the "Dancing With the Stars" commercial ("Wardrobe malfunction? You wish!"). I'm surprised it took that long.
I gotta tell you, this game is kicktastic and punterrific.
So far the score is: Pepsi < Bud Lite.
I have no interest in seeing "Cars" by Pixar ... looks like the most unnecessary animated film since "Antz" followed "Bug's Life."
You know, I'm going to take this time to say adios to the Super Bowl. The game's boring, the officiating is shit, and the commercials are atrocious. And Mission:Impossible #3 looks like the best damn film that'll ever hit theaters in 2006. And that's completely disappointing.
Sorry for bringing the gripe. I'll try to be more pleasant next post.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Super Bowl XL: Everything but the game
3 comments:
I gotta say that, as the son and grandson of life-long, diehard Steeler faithful, the outcome of that game pleases me tremendously. That said, the game itself, nay, largely the entire broadcast, was what would be referred to in the soft underbelly of pro wrestling as an "abortion."
There were some good commercials. Most of the Anheuser-Busch commercials and the FedEx spot (I liked it, anyway) come to mind. That Burger King chorus commercial has not gotten positive remarks anywhere that I'm aware of, including my family, a political blog that was kind of live blogging it, and here. There were other less interesting commercials as well, notably the "Dancing with the Stars" commercial that referenced the Jackson titty incident.
The Stevie Wonder and friends segment ate a dick, as Stevie Wonder is awesome and his alleged "friends" have no business near a stage that Stevie Wonder once performed on, let alone one he is performing on at the time. Joss Stone maybe has a nice rack, but that dress was obscuring any subjective evaluation. You've got Stevie Wonder, so let him rock asses with "Superstition," "Higher Ground," and maybe end it with that "Me Amore" that gets panties a flyin'. But let him sing it, not some random black guy.
There were plenty of complaints about the lack of Motown artists in the Super Bowl festivities, but I think most of the ones that were actually good are dead or otherwise useless.
The Rolling Stones managed to make a song that is over 40 years old actually sound like it is over 40 years old. Keith Richards plays guitar solely by muscle memory and Mick Jagger was slurring words like his tongue was swollen from a recent piercing. "I twy, and I twy, and I twy, and I twy, but I can't get no Sawisfactwion." Goddamn, that was pathetic. To the Stones, I say this: you assholes are in a position to fuck models on piles of money; there's no need to continue to rape the corpse of your long dead musical careers.
The game was fucking ugly. There have been entirely too many complaints about the officiating, because expecting good officiating at a sporting event is like expecting something else that just isn't going to fucking happen. You don't get to push off of a defender or a receiver when the ball is in the air; if you appear to have done so right in front of an official by placing your hand on them and turning away, you'll probably get called for doing it whether you actually pushed off or not. No one on this plane of existence knows whether or not Ben Roethlisberger got the ball into the end zone. Maybe it was a bad call, but the replay didn't clear it up so it shouldn't have been overturned just because you "know" it didn't happen. And technically, when an o-lineman initiates what is essentially a collar-and-elbow tieup with a defender, it's fucking holding. That was directed at no one here, just to complaints I've already read on the Internets.
Pittsburgh's o-line was atrocious on run plays, Troy Polamolu's ankles must have been injured more than we knew and for god's sake when you're at your opponent's 35 on 3rd and long with 20 seconds left, down by 11 you don't throw to the running back in the flat.
I'm just glad that was over and the Lombardi trophy is in Pittsburgh.
Yes, the game was very much a disappointment save the reverse-pass and the Willie Parker run. Two plays do not a Super Bowl make.
I am convinced that Burger King's ad agency is taking kickbacks from McDonald's. A woman dressed as a hamburger patty and being crushed to death by Brooke Burke is not my idea of an appealing commercial. At least Hootie wasn't in this one.
Pepsi obviously blew their entire advertising budget on Sean Puffy Puff P. Diddy Daddy Combs and can't afford to hire writers anymore. Last year's Sean Puffy Puff P Diddy Daddy Combs drives a Diet Pepsi truck was clever. This year's version, not by a country mile.
The best reference to Janet's salad was yet again the Go Daddy commercial where that WWF....er....WWE girl has her strap break in front of the old man. Not very original I must say. There must have been a general strike in the advertising industry this year because the commercials blew.
As far as the game, like I said it was very ho hum. If Seattle knew how to manage a clock it might have been more interesting, but as it stands it was pretty terrible.
I was for the Steelers, and I still say that first touchdown wasn't a touchdown. Any part of the ball that could have possibly broken the plane of the endzone was obscured by arm, so any assumption of a touchdown was based solely on the speculation of the shape of the ball. And refs ain't geometry experts ... hence the reason they're refs.
But the officiating was horrible all the way around, so I agree that complaining about it is futile. But the play was really questionable as well ... I mean, you get to fourth and one at about midfield, you don't fucking punt, you run it, motherfucker. My philosophy is, and I could be wrong here, that there's two ways to approach the Super Bowl: play it safe, or get a ring.
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