Sick day musings pt. 2

Had no choice but to watch more movies than anyone has any right to. Having something like 15 staples in my gut (why not stitches? Beats me ...) leaves me little choice of anything to do except read, check the internet, take pain killers, and watch shit on TV. So here's the rundown ...

"Destroy All Monsters" - Godzilla and about 8 of his nearest and dearest get the fudge off of Monster Island and wreak terrible havoc on the major cities of the world. Great fun, except the DVD has no menu, no chapter stops ... it's pretty much like a video tape, except video actually has one advantage over this DVD: if you take a video out to play it in a different VCR, then at least you can start at the exact same spot. With most DVDs you can at least zip ahead a couple of chapters. No so much here; you'd have to fast-forward to the point that you remember watching last. Anyway, pretty standard Godzilla fare here; monsters trash city, then monsters trash each other, while infuriated Japanese people try to make sense of it all.

"Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" - A film crew takes a day's break from shooting to go hopping around in the nearby graveyard. One of their shenanigans includes digging up a dead body and performing black magic rituals. Then ... hey, it's a horror movie set in a graveyard, what d'ya think would happen? Plus, this film boasts one of the most annoying characters this side of that guy in the wheelchair from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Yes, the original one ... *sigh*

"High Tension" - French fish eaters make a countryside trip to visit one of the chicks' parents. Then one of the fish eaters gets kidnapped, leaving the other fish eater to go avenge her girlfriend's family's brutal death. Shit's one insane, sick tale, which makes it perfect for a horror fan. Good spooks, gore, the whole nine ... but the ending's a bitch.

"Five Fingers of Death" - Traditional kung-fu film. Not so much of the "you killed my father/teacher/family, and I fail to defeat you so I must train until I am victorious," but more along the lines of "I will train hard to enter this tournament to avenge my family/bring honor to my school, and I don't know who I can trust and who I cannot." The cool part of this are the closeups mixed with the Ironside theme, a la Uma in "Kill Bill" when she'd spy one of the Deadly Vipers. And the glowing fist that was ripped off by "The Last Dragon" is also pretty swell. The film suffers from the lack of a cheesy-cool villain; dude with the big forehead just don't cut it. However, the kung-fu here is magnificent.

"TNA: Impact" - The AMW vs. Naturals match was pretty solid, as the matches that I've seen beteween these two teams usually are - nice 69 spot (and a chant of "Brokeback Mountain") on AMW; the Naturals vs. MNM would make a nice match; TNA is the only group that is devoting time to the tags (only crew doing better is ROH; SHIT! Near-fall! SHIT! Canadian run-in! That's the way it goes; but Eric Young is solid gold.
- Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt: A whole lotta stips for this ... winner gets a spot on Team TNA for the World X Cup, plus they get a spot in the International match on tomorrow's Destination X, plus they get a booklet of Sizzler coupons; if Sonjay Dutt wins, does that mean he represents India in the international shootout tomorrow?; Shelley is the damn man; the quicker we get Aries and Strong back, and if they'd add Frank Kazarian, we'd be looking at a solid stable; Sabin with a nice multiple powerbomb set, wonder how a Sabin/Jericho match would be? Shelley & Sabin have a "shitty dye job" competition going on; and Sabin gets the duke.
- I like the Christian/Monty double-screen interview segment. Feels like the old TBS Saturday night wrestling show. Very nice, plus it hid some of the flaws that Brown has in his interviews.
- Team Dudley, Truth, and Rhino vs. Diamonds in the Rough, Shannon Moore, and (NOT) Southernfried's Own Matt Bentley ... I smell summer squash; godDAMN, Devon is JACKED~!! Ya know, I miss Truth back when he was "racist" Truth; hm, mainly X-division guys vs. Rhino & the Duds ... yep, I see tons of offense; this match has three representatives from the SGM Super 30 Black Wrestlers list: Elix Skipper (#13), Devon Dudley (#12), and Ron Killings (#8); Triple X vs. 3D is our third & final "fantasy book" match of the show; MAVERICK Matt??? Hm, Jarrett's team takes out their opponents in a little over a minute, but the 3D team takes almost 8? I think the message is clear. And if you don't know who won, then you've never watched wrestling before.

Man, shame that Northland cable won't let me get the PPV tomorrow, 'cause I so would. But apparently we don't have digital cable.