Movie rundown

Not being able to sleep really well over the course of the past few nights, I've been watching digital video discs like a motherfucker, all in an effort to promote within that which sleep medication has failed at doing, thus far.

It still hasn't worked.

Here's the rundown, then, of what I've been trying to watch to make myself sleepy. I warn you, it's not pretty:

"Cannibal Apocalypse" - A duo of Vietnam vets swap wits, all the while battling some infection that makes them crave human flesh. Not a zombie film per se, but John Saxon can shit in a horror movie and it's gold. I think "Blood Salvage" is 10x more watchable than it would ever be, thanks to Saxon and Evander Holyfield showing up as a journeyman pugilist knocking out motherfucking rednecks who think they can dance with a champion.

"Better Than You: The Best Of CM Punk" - I have to accept the fact that ROH sometimes reminds me of how much better wrestling was back when NWA titles were defended during the credits of Saturday wrestling shows, with Bob Caudle yelling "We're out of time!" CM Punk is a dirty, shitty, grimy looking wrestler, claiming to be "straight edge," which means no drugs/smoking/drinking, but theoretically would also extend to swearing and getting anonymous pussy. However, he quickly establishes that he rules out the last two. His matches are eh, mixed with a little bit of hmm... and a side of a'ight.

"Dracula Has Risen From The Grave" - An atheist takes out the prince of vampires in this Hammer Horror chestnut. Take that, Jesus! It features a last minute conversion, though, which is a total Universal Studios horror movie-style copout, but at least now I know where the opening of "Taste The Blood Of Dracula" comes from.

"Ilsa, She-Wolf Of The SS" - Holy cow. That's all I can say. I feel like I need to wash myself "down there" with Listerine. Ilsa is pretty damn naked a lot, but I can't figure out why she's not a lot hotter than you'd think a Nazi doctor kommandant should be.

"Mr. Sardonicus" - Halfway through this one now. Gimmicky William Castle schlockfest that I find hard to believe was based on a previously filmed story (originally was onscreen as "The Man Who Laughs," the lead character of which was the inspiration for the Joker ... coming out 7/18/06, incidentally). Got this film for $6.50, and it was worth every penny; hate that I read Castle's biography and learned about this film's climax, since now it's just a matter of waiting for the "Punishment Poll."

Holy crap ... I just had this sudden urge to want to see "Munster Go Home." That was weird ... and just like that, it's gone. Damn eerie, like how all prices seem to end in "9".