Below the break are the categories for the SGM Year End Awards. Please make your votes known in the comment sections. Feel free to vote in all categories, or just in the ones that you feel the strongest about. Polls will close on January 5.
Event of the Year
Movie of the Year
Song of the Year
Match of the Year
News Story of the Year
Best Trend of the Year
TV Show of the Year
DVD Release of the Year
Band/Artist of the Year
Author/Journalist of the Year
Sports Team of the Year
Wrestler of the Year
Most Horrifying Tragedy of the Year
Internet Disappointment of the Year
Real Man's Man of the Year
Most Overplayed Song of the Year
Celebrity You Most Want to Punch in the Face in 2006
Shitty Remake of the Year
Friday, January 05, 2007
Year End Awards Categories
4 comments:
Here are a couple or three of my answers. I'll do more as time permits.
Sports Team of the Year -- University of Florida Men's Basketball Team
The 2006 NCAA national champions have talent, heart, and they actually get along with each other. Joakim Noah is a monster on the court, but what made me appreciate him was watching him take 20 minutes to sign autographs/take pictures with kids at a UF Women's Soccer game. He also gets mad props for, in the middle of signing, standing up and yelling "SHE NEEDS A CARD REF!" The team can flat play and they are all good guys.
Shitty Remake of the Year -- Miami Vice.
This movie was bar none the worst movie of 2006. It is a shame to see Jamie Foxx doing back to back suckers (Stealth and MV) after picking up the Oscar for Ray. There was virtually no excitement in this movie. The cars were cool but they can't carry a script. I wouldn't even rent this one.
Overplayed Song of the Year -- Hinder's "Lips of an Angel."
This one is even worse than the Nickleback/Saliva "Hero" song from two years ago. I tried listening to the rest of the album on Napster and it might actually be worse than Warrant's Cherry Pie which, in my opinion, will always be the worst album ever. Bottom line: They have no talent and the A+R man whi signed them needs to be drummed out of the profession.
TV Show of the Year -- Heroes
Best show of the season. The creator has it storyboarded out for five seasons, so it won't fall of the tracks like Lost has. The only show I have ever watched which is platted like a comic book with short story arcs. Any character can die at any time. Just magnificent.
Event of the Year: Playstation 3 being released way under demand, causing robbery, assault, and straight thuggery, proving that just because you live in your mother's basement don't mean you can't whoop an ass.
Movie of the Year: Honestly, this year had a dearth of standout films; I had to look at my list of 200 films of '06 to remember what I saw that was actually in '06. I'm going with "Fearless." There are more films that I want to see 'cause I think they'd be real good, but to vote them as the MOTY just based on hype would be shitty.
Song of the Year: "Fergalicious," in a walk. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nah, fuck that shit. I'll vote "God's Gonna Cut You Down," off of Cash's "American V" album.
Match of the Year: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels, some Raw earlier this year. That match was an absolute classic, culminating in Shelton springboarding into a superkick for the loss. Probably Michaels' best match in the past three years.
News Story of the Year: I'm going with Kramer going off on the people of color in his audience. When Seinfeld's also-rans overshadow more important newsworthy items, go with what'cha know.
Best Trend of the Year: Famous females "accidentally" baring their honey pots. Yeah ... "accidentally."
TV Show of the Year: "The Venture Brothers"
DVD Release of the Year: Both volumes of the original "Ultraman" TV show; that kicked ass when I was just a lil' Nate, coming in from deep elementary school (K to 3rd grade). All that dubbed-over kaiju cheese tastes just as good the second time.
Band/Artist of the Year: Ghostface Killah, no doubt; two top-notch releases, and one shoulda-been summer head-nod classic ("Back Like That") ... that wins it for me.
Author/Journalist of the Year: I really hadn't had the chance to read anything released this year. Much of it was overpoliticized garbage. The comic book scene was filled with too much hack writing and revamps aplenty for me to go there for a nominee. The only books from 2006 - "My Tank is Fight" and "Mad Dog Summer" - are on order from Booksamillion.com, and won't be here until 2007. Pass.
Sports Team of the Year: Only sport I really watched was basketball, and the Pistons lost Ben Wallace and I refuse to rank the 2006 Champions Heat (who are really showing their vulnerability with Shaq resting his gargantuan dusty knees). So I defer on this question.
Wrestler of the Year: Samoa Joe
Most Horrifying Tragedy of the Year: The Kevin Underwood thing, where this asshead kidnapped, raped and murdered a 10 yr old girl. Now, the tragedy of this is deeper than the crime itself. During the investigation and the Amber alert for the missing gir, the area police chief, David Thompson (thanks, Google) said to the press, "This appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, then dispose of the organs and bones." Very sensitive to the feelings of the family who are praying only of their missing child.
Internet Disappointment of the Year: That Other Site(TM) ... kinda goes without saying. It still generates amazing heat, and it's *still* the only place to give Giant Gonzalez his press props.
Real Man's Man of the Year: Steve Irwin. For real.
Most Overplayed Song of the Year: Now I get to vote for "Fergalicious." Seriously, ONE time for that song is "overplayed," in my book.
Celebrity You Most Want to Punch in the Face in 2006: That goddamn baby that Tom Cruise and what's-her-face had or stole or adopted or whatever that shit was all about. Fuck that; no one deserves any fame that young.
Shitty Remake of the Year: "Black Christmas"
Event -
November elections: After a six-year hiatus, The American People finally ask themselves an important question - WTF? Despite what conservative political hacks might tell you, this wasn't your typical second-term-President-gets-a-sound-rebuke-and-loses-both-houses-of-Congress midterm election; this was a big, steaming dump left on the GOP's doorstep. And if nothing else, Rick "Man-on-Dog" Santorum was sent packing back to whatever rock he crawled out from under.
2006 Rose Bowl: The University of Spoiled Children was in the midst of getting hourly blowjobs on ESPN from anyone discussing college football, with the 60 minutes of football in Pasadena, California a mere formality to be breezed through before being officially hailed as the Ultimate Football Gods of the Universe. Enter Vince Young and 8 yards of deicide, to finally shut the USC cockriders the fuck up. Seriously. They play in the Pac-10.
TV Show -
Studio 60: I like a good dialogue and things that make me feel smart because I'm following a conversation above the heads of most TV viewers. Aaron Sorkin's shows provide both of those things and Studio 60 certain brings it. Who cares if the "sketches" aren't funny? It's a fucking drama about a comedy, not a documentary.
The Venture Brothers: Brock Samson funny, hurt people. And Season Three is coming! Yea, verily!
Sports Team -
I really can't think of a "team of the year" for 2006. I don't want to pick Ohio State's football team based on their performance up to this point and then see them eat it against Florida (I just don't want to see them eat it against Florida, period). Florida's basketball team was good, but North Carolina did far more with far less and George Mason's run was nice. I refuse to recognize the Miami Heat with the officiating in the Finals being as horrendous as it was. (It was fixed. Fucking fixed. Like wrestling.) The San Diego Chargers are currently tearing it up, but they're an injured LaDanian Tomlinson away from .500. Baseball was uninspiring this season. No dice here.
Tragedy -
Moving to Erwin: It fucking sucks and I got a 179.00 speeding ticket driving on 26 into Johnson City from a cocksucking state trooper who can't read a goddamned radar gun. 86 miles an hour my ass, you greasy fucking hick. I hope you die.
Internet disappointment -
Embarq DSL: The last time I used dial-up internet was in August of 1999. I know this because that was the month I stayed with my parents in Motown after I moved out of the house on Mary Street and before I moved into the apartment on Maple Street. The apartment was in Charter territory, so I was able to use cable internet. Since then, I've always used cable internet from Charter, rarely having any problems. Until now, when we moved to Buttfuck Erwin and signed up for Embarq DSL, which is slow and intermittent to the point that it goes out at least once every half hour for a minute or two and at least once every three days it goes completely out for an hour or more. I don't even have enough bandwidth for online gaming and I rarely bother with torrents anymore. Fuck Embarq. Just as shitty as Sprint, only with a new name.
Celebrity you want to punch-
All of them. Seriously. One at a time or all at once.
In making this list, I find that I'm really insulated from contemporary pop culture these days. I don't listen to the radio and I don't watch any of the music channels. I hardly watch any TV shows and a third of what I do watch I download and watch at my leisure. Movies are a waste of my time; books for the illiterate, mostly. I think the only albums I listened to that were released in 2006 were Nellie McKay's "Pretty Little Head" and Jurassic 5's new joint, both of which were good (McKay's was actually really good) but that was about it. Most of my reading of new material was comics and that's 95% Garth Ennis penned works. I think the last wrestling I watched of any note was right around Wrestlemania. I don't know of this lack of knowledge is a good thing or a bad thing.
Damn, I missed the dealine. Oh well.
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