So yeah, I've been gone a while. Now I'm back.
The new job is so radically different from what I used to do that I feel as if I have moved to another state and changed professions. Fortunately, I still have teaching duties, so I get to return to my former (and preferred) life every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They have me doing everything from researching university policy to meeting with bar owners and telling them to behave. Its kind of funny, as I have now come full circle to my Office Ghetto days in dealing with stupid people outside of the University. Those are not blog-safe, so I will save them for in person.
So other than that, I have signed-off of that "other site" for good because they don't respect soccer. The Atlanta Braves America's Team are out of the playoffs for the first time since my freshman year in high school. Y'all need to sign up for Facebook since it is open to all now. The Atlantic is a great magazine. Harper's, not so much. The video of the Japanese people doing a tounge-twister and getting racked when they screw up speaks volumes about multiculturalism. I don't know if ECW is still on the air and I really don't care. Wikipedia is still the spawn of Satan. Walter Willard is a Gainesville pioneer. Fred Parsons is still the weapon, and I still don't believe the hype.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Don't Call it a Comeback
Monday, September 25, 2006
Rapper of the hot minute: Lucky.i.am
Lucky.i.am, as 1/8 of the rap underground supergroup Living Legends, first caught my ear in the Legends' album, "Classic," in the track of the same name. What sets a rapper apart in the game is a distinctive voice (think of where a Chuck D or a Chali 2na would be if they sounded like pretty much every other rapper out there).
His flow over the style of beats laid down by Legends' collaborators is akin to the best of J5, Blackalicious, ATCQ (in their better days), the Roots (see: ATCQ), and other similar groups that actually conspire to give a rap fan(atic) hope for the genre. He cut loose a track from his pending 2007 joint, "Time 2 Get Lucky," on the recently released Legends' mixtape CD, "Legendary Music Vol. 1." The track's "Another Day," and definitely worth checking out.
Lucky.i.am's myspace page, which is not as much of an eyesore as the other 99% of myspace pages are.
Turner Classic Movies: Underground
Turner Classic Movies is taking a walk on the wild side as it welcomes auteur filmmaker and legendary rocker Rob Zombie as the host of the network's newest weekly movie showcase, TCM UNDERGROUND. The late-night franchise, which will feature off-the-wall movies chosen and introduced by Zombie, is set to launch in October. [Click for more info]
A Brief Snippet Of The Schedule:
**All times Eastern and titles subject to change
Friday, October 13
2:00 AM Plan 9 from Outer Space (’59)
3:30 AM Bride of the Monster (’55)
Friday, October 20
2:00 AM Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (’65)
3:30 AM Mudhoney (’65)
Friday, October 27
2:00 AM Night of the Living Dead (’68)
3:45 AM The Crazies (’73)
This wacky little experiment goes on through December. Definitely looks better than ACM's Fright Friday's which has shown "The Fly," 1990s Jeff Goldblum vomit style, for the past three weeks.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wrestling DVD of the month ... quite possibly the millennium
Dangerous Women: A Night of Hos DVD-R
G.I. Ho proves again she's hardcore!
This event ends with an orgy of oil wrestling as Mimi, Brittney, G.I. Ho, and Sinnamin and a few chicks from the audience even get into the action!
- Mimi ref dance, BJ beats down Mimi
- Trinity H. Campbell vs. Candice
- Tara vs. Talia
- Tara promo, Marcos Flaymer
- Sinnamin vs. Brittney "The School Girl"
- Tara vs. Candie
- Mimi replay BJ, Mimi ref dance
- Lucky "The Cripple Guy" promo
- Sound Guy promo
- The Sound Guy vs. American Cream Pie
- The Sound Guy vs. G.I. Ho
- Oil Match - Brittney vs. Mimi
- Oil Match - American Cream Pie vs. G.I. Ho
- Oil Match - ACP, G.I. Ho, Mimi and chicks from the crowd
Finally ... women's wrestling gains the respect that it deserves!! Take that, GLOW
Saturday, September 16, 2006
We got a new cat.
Now the non-stop pussy jokes can commence!!
He's been under the recliner for about an hour now. Hopefully I won't be coming back to this post in a couple of days and going all George Lucas & changing the title to read, "We got a new goddamn cat."
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Amazon.com - The bastion of hope for film goobers
I just got Star Wars 1-3 (the only ones that matter ... the Luke Skywalker ones). These are the limited edition, unaltered versions (Han shoots first, crappy effects, etc.)
I ordered them from Amazon.com. Now, the news of these editions coming out started about in April-May, 'cause I've had these on order since about May. They just came out this Tuesday (9/12). Buuut ... between May & last Tuesday, there have been about 200+ people who have logged on with their "reviews" (i.e. bullshit opinions) about this set. "Lucas is a money-grubbing whore." "These are just dupes from the laserdisc versions." "I won't be screwed out of more money for this crappy series." Blah blah, ad nauseum.
First of all, I'm sick of people who review shit before it comes out. That's a preview, you fucking douches, and there's no forum for that. Plus, I'm a big movie fan, but I'm not a cinephile; I don't care about stereo surround, or aspect ratios (Is it widescreen, yes or no? Don't bore me with details.), or anamorphic shit. If I can see it, hear it, and I enjoy it, fuck off. I'm not one of these obsessed mongoloids that spent all their parents' money on the VHS boxed set, the laserdisc set, the 2004 DVDs, the DVD editions of the prequels, the 2005 DVD boxed set, and are now pissed that the unaltered DVD editions have come out. Yes, Lucas is a dirty money-thieving whore; he wouldn't be if he didn't know that there are jackasses that would fall for the shit. Besides, if you're a one-trick pony, then you flog the skin from that's pony's back for as long as that pony will still pull. Look at Kevin Smith's film output. Hyah, mule! *whi-PAH*
Well, I got my copies in the mail today. And guess what? They're absolutely fine; exactly what I was hoping and expecting them to be. Fuck you, Amazon.com customer reviews; why don't you all just migrate to Wikipedia and fuck up some entries and die already?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
This is why I watch BBC World News nowadays
Who the hell is Anna Nicole Smith's son, and why the fuck should I care if he's dead? Apart from having sucked on those big Danish moo-cow titties more than I have - WHEN HE WAS A BABY! - he hasn't done anything important enough to make me give a damn. However, the media outlets apparently think that this story marks a bleak day in America's history, 'cause it's currently on three different "news" shows ("news" in quotes, because this shit is making me doubt their legitimacy).
The worst feeling in the world
If this isn't the worst feeling in the world, it's gotta be at least in the top 3:
Dropping your toothbrush in the toilet.
First, there's the fact that you have to go in and get that thing out. That sucks. But then, on top of that, the chances are probably pretty good that you dropped it in there while brushing your teeth, which means your teeth are only partly brushed. So now what the fuck you gonna do??
That's why, no shit, I keep a spare.
Monday, September 11, 2006
So, um, yeah, it's Sept. 11teenth and all
We had a "moment of silence" for the anniversary in the group program today. But I sat there the whole time thinking that we the people've reached the point of oversaturation on the 9/11 stuff. Granted, it's still fresh, and it's probably that one big tragedy in our generation (assuming we're all coming from the mid 20s - early 40's crowd). But have we really needed two films on the subject (within 6 months of each other, no less) before the 5 yr anniversary? Isn't there a statute of limitations on something like that? I mean, shit, I read somewhere that a good rule of thumb in wrestling is to not redo a gimmick/angle until it's seven or more years old ... and that's wrestling, for God's sakes, not a national tragedy.
We were on an outing and the guys (I drive what's called "the guys' van") were talking about how it was sad and all, but "how can we move on" if we spend all our time revisiting the horrors of the past. "It happened, we got hurt, we learned from it, now we gotta move on ... ain't that what you tell us, Mister Nate?" I'll be goddamned; a bus full of mentally ill from hodunk-podunk South Carolina can get what a nation of millions can't. If anyone needed to know the difference between mentally ill vs. mentally retarded, add that to the evidence pile.
So, anyway, Happy September 11! I can't wait until we're given a Monday off from work for it, and you know it's coming, but I hope that it happens before I retire so I can enjoy it. Don't really know how you'd celebrate something like that ... I think anything involving fireworks would be pretty fucking tacky, though.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
This whole "Croc Hunter" thing
I was standing in the grocery store line and read a write up on his death in "People." My wife talked about how kinda sad it was, him dying so young and under such tragic circumstances.
Bullshit, says I, now that I've had some time to reflect on this. The guy went out hardcore; it wasn't some half-assed accident on the highway, and he wasn't incapacitated by the debilitating effects of old age. He took a stingray's barb in the motherfucking heart. When I first heard about his death, it made me think of that epitaph on Royal Tenenbaum's tombstone (I had to look it up for this entry):
How boss is that; "Tackled a fucking stingray and died." Not, "Died a slow, painful death, unable to remember his children's names & having to urinate only through the assistance of nursing professionals." Everyone may say he had it coming. Well, you know, yeah he did. And he did his thing anyway.
I ain't one for overeulogizing the death of celebrities, unless it's one that affected me personally. But you know, that Crocodile Hunter? That was one entertaining sumbitch, who went out with no apologies for what he did for a living. Life, man. Crikey, ain't she a beaut?!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Oh, wow, fuck moving.
Really. Fuck moving.
***
Our landlord at the apartment is a bitch; the kind of slumlord that wouldn't call the fire department if one of her rental properties was ablaze, let alone have the shower fixed when it starts leaking all the goddamned time. We had to turn the hot water off when it wasn't in use, leading to my wet ass leaving a trail through the apartment after I forgot and jumped in the shower. Woo, frozen balls. So we decided that we're probably not getting the deposit back, even though we left the place in better condition than my roommates found it, and concluded that since we'll only be there for half of July we'll skip the paying of the rent and just hit the road. About a week into July we receive a letter telling us that we owe rent plus $40 bucks in late fees and we laugh at the ingeniousness of our plan.
My roommates, being rich and having the white man's credit, go on vacation. A cruise in the Bahamas or the Caribbean, some place hot and shiny that I wouldn't travel to unless I was out of my mind. Kevin said I should be going with them. I can't swim and I hate the sun. I'd enjoy very few things less than that trip. They close on the house they bought, being now poor yet still having the white man's credit, the weekend before they leave. The plan is that they get back from vacation on Sunday and we start moving that night. Gotcha.
I've got the apartment to myself for a week. I remember what it's like to live by myself. Shitting with the door open. Showering with the door open. Making a mess in the kitchen and leaving it for three days. Loud TV and music. Good times.
Flights get screwed up. Jordan comes home by herself Sunday at 9 PM. Kevin is chasing the luggage from Asheville to Gray. No moving Sunday night.
Monday morning I wake up and they're already doing some last minute packing, including the goddamned coffee pot. Kevin asks if I wanted coffee. Fortunate morning suck need more sleep too fuck tired to call you dickhead stupid goddamn question Mountain Dew cigarette now. I mean, seriously. If I've just gotten out of bed and I ask if you've already packed the coffee pot the appropriate response is "No," but if you have packed it, then "I'm sorry" will suffice. Not a fucking survey about my morning beverage interests.
I go to work. While I am at work Kevin and Jordan plan to move some boxes, some smaller stuff.
I return from work. While I am at work everything has been moved except for some of my boxes and my bookshelves and clothes, the door wasn't locked and no one was there. Jordan comes in and says "Surprise! We have to move all of your stuff. Tonight." Apparently the landlord came by not long after I left and didn't like the answer she got from Kevin about paying the rent, so she sent a locksmith over to change the locks. An agreement was reached with the landlord to allow us to finish moving that day. Kevin, Jordan, and Kevin's dad moved everything they could, including my bed and desk, before Kevin went to work at four. After that point, Jordan and Kevin's dad finished up, except for my stuff, which we hauled in mine and Jordan's car and our friend Jeremy's truck. We finish that at about 11PM. I wake up the next day, on a mattress in the floor. Some of my clothes are in my dresser in the garage. Some of my clothes are in a garbage bag. Most of them are in a basket, dirty, as I expected to wash them Monday night in the apartment. I call in to work and spend the day getting settled in. That was fucking crazy.
***
Important life lesson: if a friend asks you if you want to move to Erwin, they are not your friend. They are an agent of the Devil and should be treated accordingly. And by treated accordingly I mean set on fire and kicked back into the depths of hell.
***
During my two week hiatus from the Internet I logged on once at lunch in the Internet Cafe at work and found my "books are fucking heavy" epiphany is now a universal truth. No wonder stupid people don't read; a TV is far lighter. Maybe they're not so stupid.
Also: Mike, I didn't mean to no-sell your question about the board. You asked that two days before the move and I didn't get DSL until Friday.
Open house party - Sept 9th
Now that we've bought this snazzy house, we're in the process of cleaning it up to invite our friends over for a housewarming get-together.
Once we get stuff a little more organized & the housewarming's out of the way, I'll definitely be more active on this thing. And, especially with October & Halloween coming up, I'll have more CONTENT~! for your ocular pleasure.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Top 10 Kurt Angle matches
Top 10s are passe. But, I've spent this whole week watching wrestling matches on DVD, and given that our wrestling lord & savior was released from WWF, I think it's fair to look at some of the man's in-ring highlights.
10) Angle vs. Shane McMahon - King Of The Ring 2001
The overhead belly-to-belly into the glass that didn't break was awesome, as was the thud from Shane's head hitting the ground. So, of course, Angle tries to throw him through again.
9) Angle vs. Brock Lesnar - Wrestlemania 19
The botched shooting star press knocks this match way down for me.
8) Angle vs. Undertaker - Smackdown
7) Angle/Benoit vs. Mysterio/Edge vs. Los Guererros - Survivor Series 2002
6) Angle vs. Eddie Guererro - Wrestlemania 20
5) Angle vs. Shawn Michaels - Wrestlemania 21
4) Angle vs. Rey Mysterio - Summerslam 2002
3) Angle vs. Chris Benoit - Wrestlemania 17
2) Angle vs. Steve Austin - Summerslam 2001
The screwjob ending makes this one a slightly tainted #2 option, but damn, Angle dragging Austin from the crowd to the middle of the ring using the ankle lock, blood pouring down his face ... whew.
1) Angle vs. Chris Benoit - Royal Rumble 2003
Saw this one on the pay-per-view, and the folks watching the match were on their feet ... ON THEIR FEET ... in the living room. That's golden.
