Suicide Girls Teases

A girl who is a friend of my roommates' recently decided to post a pictoral of herself on suicidegirls.com, which, for those of you who aren't aware, is an erotic website dedicated to body modification enthusiasts. The majority of the site (or all, I haven't delved deeply into it) is female and female-on-female, which I normally would wholeheartedly approve of, but I don't really dig on extensive tattoos and body piercings are, to me, completely unappealing. If you're into that, it's all gravy; but it's not my bag. It's also not my point. Suicidegirls.com is home to a social networking community, ala MySpace, where people presumably bore the shit out of each other without having to pretend they're not there just to see pictures of attractive members of the opposite sex. Also, fewer badly designed webpages are involved, which is always a plus. The social network is easily searchable by locality, and much like Yahoo! Personals, it's always fun to see who the freaks are in your neck of the woods. Of course, pictures posted in this section also require membership to view, and I pay for the Internet, not the entertainment I derive from the Internet.

Our friend lent us her site login so we could see her pictoral when she posts it and I took advantage of the opportunity to view the four local profiles because if someone I might see in public is going to post naked pictures of themselves on the Internet, I'm going to take a look. Talk about anticlimactic. I saw three pairs of tits and no vagina. No vagina! Why in the name of fuck do girls whose interests are invariably "music, art, and body modification" think anyone browsing an erotica site think wants to see their shitty drawings and badly framed pictures of themselves in poorly fitting, allegedly sexy, clothes? I want tits, I want vagina, and if I may be so bold, go ahead and throw in a shot of browneye just in case your size A's don't have the proper areolae or your size C's have that weird banana shape. I shouldn't be left pining for the time I just wasted waiting on your pictures to load.

And let me be clear; just because women have tits and vaginas doesn't mean I feel entitled to see them. But if I run across a woman on a porn site, I have expectations and by posting, you have accepted the obligation to meet my expectations.

Fuck it. I'm putting Suicide Girls Teases on notice.