[Lucha] The return of the bionic

One week until Triplemania ....

Payaso Carrona, Payaso Miedo, Payaso Terror DQ Canibal, Chiva Rayada I, Explosivo
Oh my god, evil clowns! I haven't seen these Payaso guys before ... they're decked out like "Killer Klowns From Outer Space." If they have clown-influenced finishers and confetti and shit comes out on impact, this is officially my favorite wrestling team of all time.

Chiva Rayada wears a mask that makes him look like a goat, complete with chinny-chin-chin. Canibal has the most humongousest afro this side of D-Ray 3000, and is wearing Taz's old Tazmaniac unitard.

This match was a brainfuck, completely and totally. So, Killer Klowns vs. Goat Boy, Fro Dogg & Random Masked Guy #4080 ... yep, Klowns took it home. Canibal had a crowd killing offense where he looked like he was tossing one of the klowns' salad; if confetti and streamers were to shoot out, that would have been AWESOME!! Match ended with nutpunches aplenty ... nuts and butts, and the less said about this match the better.

Jesse, Nygma, Polvo de Esterllas, Yuriko b Aero Star, Némesis AAA, Pegasso, Rey Cometa
Jesse, Nygma, Polvo and Yuriko are straight out of a Mexican Rocky Horror Show. How Jesse got the whites of his eyes to look bloody, I have no idea (it might involve taking skeets of goof juice in the sockets, for all I know). Aero, Nemesis, Pegasso and Cometa are decked out in blue and silver costumeage, and I can't tell which is which; they're accompanied by the lucha whores. Match was just there.

Alfa, Fabi Apache, Gran Apache, Super Calo b Laredo Kid, Pimpinela Escarlata, Sexy Star, Super Fly
I like the Alfa/ Gran Apache student-teacher angle running, as the teacher-student angle hasn't been used in quite some time. Plus, what I can only assume is a subplot romance angle between Alfa & Fabi Apache (who is hot, and Gran's sis, and, as we learned last week, can throw back beer with the best) is a nice addition.

Pimpinela Escarlata is a tranny; not like "Amy Winehouse looks like a goddamn tranny," but a real tranny. I think. Either way, it's Escarlata, not Sexy Star, who should be coming to the ring with Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lady." I seriously think Goldust was supposed to be a lucha tranny gimmick.

Really weird part of this match, Sexy Star gets taped up in a corner, spread eagle, like there's about to be a motherfuckin' lucha rape party~! And while I spent much of the match thinking they were going to kick her ovaries in, alas it didn't happen.

You know, the rudos are on a roll, at this point in the show.

~! Intermiccion !~

Fantasy Book Fandango
Cibernetico (AAA, 2007)
vs.
Edge (WWF, 2005-06)

Head Hunter I, Ron Killings, X-Pac b Alberije, Latin Lover, Zorro
X-Pac, last seen on American TV smoking during his match with Wrestling Society X (haw!), is accompanied by Alicia Webb, who I think is Ryan Shamrock ... there's a chick who's titties I wouldn't mind seeing.

Alberije and Little Alberije come out as Darth Vader & Yoda, respectively, which rocks the party that rocked the party. Headhunter and Alberije got beef, because a few weeks back, Headhunter KILLED Alberije's mini-second, splashing him to hell. This forced Mini Alberije to use the world's smallest walker (with ping pong balls instead of tennis balls on the feet) for a few weeks.

Mesias b Cibernetico [dog collar]
Mesias = Judas Mesias of TNA, don'cha know? This was a pretty good dog collar match, with lots of color and creative chain usage; they even threw in the "touch every corner butckle" stipulation that I usually associate with bullrope matches (although, really, what's the difference?). Hey, La Parka (who accompanied Ciber) is wearing a scoliosis bra.

So, Mesias defeats Cibernetico, to give the Secta del Mesias some momentum going into Triplemania. Plus, working over the leg like they did in this match leaves doubt as to Cibernetico's shape for his cage match at Triplemania. Plus, mufuckin' SABU!!

One reason lucha is better than American wrestling: "Rudo, rudo, rudo!"

Triplemania XV
Airing 8/11/07

Cage match
(last guy in loses hair)
Cibernetico, Chessman & Charly Manson vs El Mesias, Kenzo Suzuki & X-Pac

La Parka, Zorro, Latin Lover & La Gran Sorpresa vs Surprise Luchador, Sabu, Ron "The Truth" Killings & Head Hunter I

Super Porky, Elegido & Alebrije w/Cuije vs Zumbido, Alan Stone & Scorpio Jr

Losers must face each other in a hair/mask match
Laredo Kid & Super Calo vs Gran Apache & Super Fly

Street Fight
Juventud Guerrera vs Fuerza Guerrera

AAA Tag Team Championship Ladder Match
Cuervo & Ozz vs Joe Lider & Crazy Boy

One of those weird regular wrestler/ midget/ woman/ hermaphrodite tag matches
Oriental, Cinthya Moreno, Octagoncito & Pimpinela Escarlata vs Alfa, Faby Apache, Mini Abismo Negro & Cassandro.