Thank God for warning labels!

I operate on the belief that when warnings are put on merchandise, they’re put there because some high-functioning member of our society has given the company a reason to put a warning on their item. Take, for example, the Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner:

"Hang the Scrubbing Bubble Automatic Shower Cleaner on your shower nozzle. Simply touch the button and walk away. The sprayer spins 360 degrees to spray a penetrating cleaner on all four walls and the tub, automatically. Eliminate soap scum and mold & mildew stains and keep your shower cleaner, longer. It's so easy, just like a having a maid.

"Warning: Not a body wash."

Ranks right up there with the jar of store brand peanuts I bought one time that had the following cautionary tale: "Allergy Warning: Item may contain peanuts."