And, in this corner …

Newsweek tackles the important debate on who’s got the bigger dick: Abraham Lincoln or Charles Darwin?

Here’s the comment that I had punched up, and I even registered with Newsweek Online so that I could reply:

”I think that this is simply an asinine comparison. Comparing one president to another is one thing, but Lincoln and Darwin are from two different fields of philosophy, responsibility, ideals; comparisons outside of their shared date of birth are forced at best. One commentator states it well when saying (I paraphrase) that Lincoln is perhaps more important to America, but what of a global standpoint? That's like saying, who's more important to ‘the community’ (note the lack of clarification): me, a career psychologist who has taught students, coached clients, saved lives, supervised colleagues, and been published, et cetera and all those "wonderfully important" things, or Matt Lauer, who I share a birthdate with? Seriously, Newsweek ... epic fail.”

And my response was turned down!

No, really, my response was turned down … here’s the snippet I got in my inbox: “We regret to inform you that your response does not meet our established guidelines for community comments, and therefore we are declining to publish your comment online. However, please continue to read our online articles and …”

No, really … MY response was turned down, but all these other shitheads were allowed to spew their stink unfiltered. I’m not kidding; please take a few moments to actually read some of these observations made by what must be the upper crust of American society.

I’m so glad that some online news outlets went with the decision to allow the ill-informed masses to respond to a news article on the news site, instead of relegating the public’s uniform knuckle-dragging to their little blogs (I-Ro-Ny!). It lead to one of the most wonderful examples of rational thought I’d ever seen in response to a news item; in the few days following Heath Ledger’s death, an individual responded to an article on this event by surmising that God hath stricken Heath down for playing a gay cowboy in “Brokeback Mountain.” Could that explain why God killed John Ritter? Wait, maybe this proves that God’s divine omnipotence is a sham, since Jake Gyllenhaal – the “other gay cowboy” in “Brokeback Mountain” - has not only escaped His wrath, he’s now LIVING IN SIN with world renowned butterface Reese Witherspoon. I mean, c’mon God, answer me: Is Reese Witherspoon’s house really that hard to find?

And that, dear reader, is why I’m disappointed that Frank Castle is merely a fiction.