Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Comic character resurrection!

Today, I was reminiscing on how the wrestling scene of the 2000s (2000-2009) mirrored the independent comics boom of the mid- to late-1990s, not so much in the realm of how speculation ruined comics for quite a while - leading to even the most mundane comic receiving the "holofoil-variant-signed-polybagged" treatment - but primarily how you had several companies spring up in an attempt to be the next Image. And I remembered that George Perez, one of best artists in the comics business today or ever, was involved in several companies that I had high hopes for, chief among them being Malibu's Ultraverse and Gorilla Comics. It was while researching the latter that I came across a comics character that just should not be ... CRIMSON PLAGUE.

The crux of this character is that her blood houses a corrosive virus that will kill anyone exposed to it. Being that she's a human adult female cloned with alien DNA, she is still prone to having her period. So, the clock starts ticking as to when her menses begins a global catastrophy.

The Gorilla Comics series only lasted two issues, and a quick search dug up no info on whether another comic company picked it up (like DC did with Mark Waid's Gorilla original "Empire"). Therefore, no clear idea on where the series was going; having read the only two issues under discussion, I seem to recall there being a seek-and-capture mission to bring "Crimson Plague" in (not sure if that was the character's name, but I can't really be bothered to look the shit up right now).

In hindsight, I think a perfect direction for the series - as perfect as chasing a nigh-menstrual human/alien hybrid clone could get - would be to treat the series as a "24" knockoff, only each issue equals one day's time in the continuity of the story. As we approach #28 or whatever, the tension rises greatly, and we see the symptoms of the natural menstrual process begin to manifest, with each symptom's frequency and severity meant to spark tension and fear ... you know, like the real world. AM I RIGHT FELLAS!!!??? HAW!

And the antagonists had it all wrong. Lasers and bladed weapons, to combat this character? What, are you fucking stupid?? Knockout gas and live burial in an airtight container, then covered with ten feet of cement is your best bet. Either that, or shooting her with hypo-darts filled with depo provera is the way to go. Last resort, coach her into a rapid intake diet of cholesterol-rich food, which would then have the effect of making her blood all sludgy, restricting its flow. But keep her away from the alcohol and aspirin, as any pro wrestler can tell you that thins the blood and makes the flow more swift.

Can't believe this character didn't take off. There's certainly far worse characters that have been given lengthy series runs. Et tu, "Sleepwalker?"

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