A Strange Juxtaposition

Another big meeting tomorrow.

The other day, I started to launch into a tirade on how life is unfair. I have discovered that I am in a profession that makes its hiring decisions based more on status and prestige and less on work ethic. A lot of hires are made on potential for future research....and they fall back on the idea that certain schools produce the best researchers. People who go to any other schools automatically drop down on the totem pole regardless of experience. I lost at least 4 jobs this year to people who haven't even graduated yet and I have been out for four years.

The problem with this argument is that it doesn't work all the time. In a normal economic year, there are enough jobs for people like me usually. A lot of my colleagues from my school have jobs. I don't. I discovered this year that, in a severe economic downturn, the cream of the crop gets the jobs because there are so few hires being made.

So I wanted to go on a tirade about how unfair that is and I stopped. The reason I stopped is due to a situation we have going on down here. We have a person who has legitimately lost his mind. I mean that with no hyperbole. He is clearly off his meds and has been barred from setting foot anywhere on this institution. He has a public page somewhere and the thing is scary. Serial killers and school shooters are mentioned semi-regularly and a lot of names are bandied about. Mine has came up once. I am sure that the proper authorities are monitoring this, but I have planned my escape routes from the building.

The reason I stopped my tirade is I was afraid I sounded too much like him. There is a line between going through tough times and going insane. I have to figure out where that line is and make sure I stay well on this side of it.

After tomorrow, if the meeting goes poorly, I start redrawing my career path.