Thursday, August 05, 2010

And, while on the subject of work ....

While I'm still contemplating dropping a few stories from my time at Slander University, here's a small gem to show you the brain surgeons amongst which I was working during those dark, dark days.

See, I got this dog. His name's Brutus, and he's a Boston terrier, and 100% badass motherfucker. Great dog, and I take care of mines when I can, so while grooming him the best I can on no fucking money (especially none to spend on grooming a dog ... I give myself my haircuts, so shit), I'd been noticing his nails were getting unruly.

I ask my supervisor, who had more dogs than fucking sense, if she knew what those things were called that had the rotating FILE that you can use on your PET's claws.

After hemming and hawing through her daily cognitive fog, she says to me, "I think it's called a 'Pet-a-File.'" Which, when spoken, sounds like "pedophile."

I stare blankly at her, while she added at the end, "I think they have them at Wal-Mart."

Without a shred of irony attached, I said, "I doubt they're called that." And while she looks at me quizzically, I follow that up with, "Besides, I ain't going to Wal-Mart, just to ask some employee, 'excuse me, can you tell me where I can find a pedophile in this place?"

Stupid ass. I'm glad I had the opportunity to cuss her out when I did.

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