Eat, drink, and be merry.

We crowned a new leader earlier this week, so I'm told. I wasn't there. I don't know for sure. But, for the sake of argument, say we did. And say someone (maybe the taxpayer, maybe the winner's parents) spent $40 million on a party to celebrate that. In the middle of a war, right after a horrendous natural disaster - also consuming a large chunk of the District of Columbia's Homeland Security budget. Aren't there just some candles you can light to keep terrorists away? And the last sitting Democrat elected in wartime spent forty or fifty bucks on chicken salad and was sworn in quietly. Sure, FDR was on death's doorstep in 1945, but Christ, what do you say to this lavish extravaganza?

Eh.

It'll likely be shitty cold in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on Sunday as the Steelers are visited by the New England Patriots in the Championship Game of the American Football Conference. At this point, with poah Bawston having three major sports championships in the Patriots and Red Sox (of all fucking teams) in the last three goddamned years, fuck the Patriots. I saw the stupidest fucking stat in a story about this game on ESPN.com: the Patriots are undefeated the last 12 times they've played a quarterback for the second time in a season. They've only lost three games in the last two seasons and I doubt this streak dates back much farther than that, so no shit. They've done well for a while now, but that doesn't say anything about anything. Here's what counts:

1. Ben Roethlisberger is a bad man. He doesn't have ridiculous stats, but he hasn't lost since the first game of his senior season. Last week's game against the Jets was like tasting stomach bile in a burp and remembering the last time you threw up, so you slow down on the drinking for the night. Ben tore the Patriot secondary apart the first time they met and things have only gotten worse for the DBs since.
2. Corey Dillon still has to run through Farrier, Porter and Polamalu to get to the endzone.

3. Gawd-forsaken weather conditions won't equalize anyone like the Pats game against Indy, but the frozen winds of the Ohio River give Steeler kicker Jeff Reed the advantage over two-time Super Bowl Game Winning Field Goal Kicker Award Winner Adam Vinatieri. Heinz Field is a crazy, crazy fucking place.

4. Bill Belichick is a great coach, but Bill Cowher is, too. Cowher has been trying to do too much with too little for a long time on offense. Neil O'Donnell sucked, I'm pretty sure they ruined Kordell Stewart by playing him behind O'Donnell for so long. Tommy Maddox was the worst idea for a starting quarterback ever and - no, shit - I told Dad (huge Steeler fan) that Pittsburgh's only chance this year was if Maddox went down and Roeth took over. Cowher has a potent offense this year to go with the usual Steel Curtain. This one won't come down to play calling.

I feel so miserably let down by the Dolphins this year that it's like they never happened. It's been bad enough over the last few years not making the playoffs with 10-6 records, but at least they had 10-6 records. 4-12? The fuck is that? Nick Saban is coming, and they've got a powerful defense (WHY OH GOD DID YOU NOT GIVE ADEWALE OGUNLEYE MONEY?), plus the second pick of the draft and talk of maybe getting Travis Henry (alert: do not give up the number two pick for him). Yet none of this makes me feel upbeat about next season.

The Tarheels got whooped at Wake Forest last week, then Wake went to Florida State and lost. That's fucked up. But the ACC is a harsh mistress.

AP Top 25:

3. Wake Forest
4. Duke
6. North Carolina
9. Boston Coll. (will be in the ACC next year)
12. Georgia Tech

Maryland, NC State, and Virginia have all been ranked at some point, too. Of course, rankings mean nothing. It's all about the Big Dance.