NP: Rowboat -- Johnny Cash
All right, it's time for an update.
Im writing you from the thriving metropolis of Abilene, Kansas. Population 5,932 SALUTE! I'm actually driving back to Tennessee tomorrow, but the place I am staying at got wireless internet for the first time EVER tonight. So, I get to enjoy one night of posting on the blog before I lose reliable internet acess again for a while.
Abilene, Kansas just might be the only place I have ever been to that is worse than Somerset and London Kensucky. Apparently I have bad luck at picking places to go to in states that start with K. I would tell you what all this town has, but I will start by listing a few things this town does not have:
1) Wal-Mart
2) Blockbuster
3) Wendy's
4) Taco Bell
5) KFC
6) Any record or book store (aside from a cheap-o-local used book store that stocks a lot of western novels
7) A pinball machine
While admittedly I can live for five weeks without any of the above, just think about that for a second. THis town is so small they don't have a Wal Mart! London Kensucky has a Wal Mart...SOmerset had a Super Wal Mart. I have reached the all time low of travel destinations.
This place does have the following things:
1) A Chinese restaurant called A Taste of China. It should be called "A Taste of Too Much Oil" or "A Taste of the Easiest to Make Chinese Dishes."
2) A Mexican place called La Fiesta. THis place is actually pretty good. Although they are selling sombreros for 50 bucks! What a steal! Every good Abilenian needs a 50-dollar sombrero.
3) A sports bar called the M+R Grill. Actually...it doesn't have a bar. It just has a shelf of liquor up behind the cash register and they can make what ever you want (I imagine)....they do have a big screen TV with very bad color quality that stays on ESPN all the time
4) ALCO. ALCO has its headquarters in Abilene. Remember when we used to have Rose's Department store? THe one that was kinda like K-Mart but local? That's what they have. This is ALCO only...becuase their corporate HQ is here and its the only store they have...although I've heard tale that they have some 5 and Dimes throughout Kansas. Alco sucks. Big Lots has a better selection of merchandise
5) Casey's General Store. This is a gas station that also makes donuts. They have a good carrot cake donut that I ate one night for dinner instead of going to 1-3
6) Subway. Thankfully, they have a Subway. However comma they have an annoying manager that works there who is about 5'0 and 5'0 wide. I went there two nights in a row...both nights I got the combo and a cookie....both nights she told me that she was on a diet and didn't want to open the case because she could smell peanut butter. I'd hate to see the Profit and Loss statement of that store
7) The Dwight D. Eisenhower LIbrary -- honestly, one of the 2 best research places I have ever been to. I'm gonna be able to write a nice dissertation after this trip
8) A lot of fat people
9) Pizza Hut buffet on Wednesday night. If you wanted to sell cheap cleaning product in Abilene, you would set up a truck store in the Pizza Hut parking lot Wednesday night and reach 85% of Abilene. Its a good Pizza Hut actually...so that made one night of the week bearable.
10) A Sprint PCS phone signal that is basically reaches a three block radius of the Subway. I spent countless minutes in that parking lot talking to people. How sad.
Friday, June 10, 2005
A Nine Won't Stop the Bum Rush
2 comments:
I've always gotten the impression that the further west you go, the fewer Wal-Marts you run into. I'm almost certain the "Supercenter" phenomenon hasn't made it that way. I could use Google to confirm these things, but I'd rather just speculate.
Let me tell you why being a psychologist is kinda fun sometimes:
When I read the segment about the M+R Grill, I first read it as "the MR Grill." And as any psychologist will tell you, MR is shorthand for "mental retardation." So that put a very bizarre spin on the rest of the section.
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