The Lost Week - Saturday

Sixth verse, same as the first.

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Now playing: "The Monster Music of Hans J Salter & Frank Skinner" - As played by the Moscow Symphony, with Stromberg conducting.

I'm a sucker for film scores here lately, what with recent purchases of the "Empire Strikes Back" double-disc soundtrack, newfound love for the "Vertigo" soundtrack, and a pending order from Amazon for the "Donnie Darko" and "Ninja Scroll" soundtracks forthcoming.

This disc has the scores for "Son Of Frankenstein," "Invisible Man Returns," and "The Wolf Man." Love the third one, enjoy the first one, haven't seen the second one. Very moody, wonderfully atmospheric music; I'm always amazed at how emotionally charged film orchestration is. Good driving music, for the most part.

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The 100 Word Story
He knew that, once he could taste the salty water, he'd be safe.
He clawed his way closer to the sea, trying not to worry about the looming danger overhead. The ocean was so close, the mist from the roaring surf was soothing. He knew now, as hard as he pushed, he’d at least gotten closer to home than his brothers did. He would mourn them when he could.

The shadows of his tormentors passed over him, starkly contrasted against the ground by the moonlight. One dipped sharply, becoming larger. “Not now.”

A wave broke, engulfing him. He was free.

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It's going to be really interesting to see what happens to the state of this upcoming WWF vs. TNA war, when Joe Wrestlingfan realizes that TNA puts as many matches (or more) into a one hour show, as WWF puts into two hours. As it stands, for this three hour "Homecoming" show that WWF will be airing when they return to USA, they only have 3 matches announced, and one is Cena/Bischoff (whoopee doo), and a 30 min Ironman match between Angle & Michaels.

There are already three matches announced for the 0ne-hour premiere "TNA: Impact!" show on Oct. 1. Just to give you an idea of what to expect in the next few weeks. Hopefully, this burgeoning TNA vs. WWF war will be good.

If not, there's always the ROH DVDs to order.

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Summer's done and in the books.

The weather's already starting to change a bit in the mornings, where there's that chill in the air that makes you shiver, while the sun shines down with bellicose intentions. The only problem I have with this weather is that it makes it hard to accurately dress for work; you can easily get away with a jacket at 9:00 AM, but by 2 you're sweat's collecting slowly in the crack of your ass.

I'm glad I have the professor job, because this kind of weather always reminds me of being in college, and when I can walk across a busy campus while the leaves are changing the look of the landscape, there's a 68-tooth smile spreading across my face faster than Flash's footsteps.

Of course, this means that the college chicks start wearing more clothes, which just creates this different fascination with me, where I start appreciating the girls who still try to look slutty while trying not to freeze their nipples off. Leads to some pretty interesting looks on some young ladies.

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I picked up the Undertaker 3-disc set today (in addition to the DVD copy of "Street Trash" ... guess who's starting Halloween Month early?), and I had forgotten how much fun the Undertaker/Bret Hart match for the WWF title was. Michaels reffing added quite a bit to the match, and when 'Taker goes for that arm-twist, rope-walk elbow smash, and Hart shakes the rope and the Dead Man gets crotched ... yeah, no-sell THAT, motherfucker!

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There appears to be shit-all coming on Turner Classics this week. Only thing I'd be remotely interested in watching is "To Catch A Thief," (Sept 30) which I have on DVD anyway & can watch right now if I want to.

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Rumor has it Venture Brothers hits DVD around March 2006. No more late nights, horrible Monday mornings for me. Whoo-haa!!

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Word has it Public Enemy has a new CD coming out soon ... "Rebirth Of A Nation." Hmm ... will it suck, or will it work? Who can say?!

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Hadn't made it to the aforementioned, much wished-for "Exorcism of Emily Rose"/"Venom" double feature. One, "Venom" isn't even playing within driving distance of G'wood. Two, got too into the bad reviews of "Emily Rose." But, since when has bad reviews stopped me? Since three, my sleep's been so terribly screwed up by the late nights, early mornings of this week off that I couldn't even see how I'd make it through sitting in a dark theater during the courtroom parts of the film.

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Speaking of TNA, our Wal-Mart has the TNA figures out. There was a Christopher Daniels, a Jeff Hardy, and a couple of AJ Styles, Ravens, and about two Abysses.

When they put out the Monty Brown, then someone can holler at me. Hmm ... I also saw a Shelton Benjamin and a Booker T. I wonder if it'd be worth the time and trouble to chase down an action figure set of the SGM Super 30: Black Pro Wrestlers? Double hmmm ...

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A whole week on this forum has me asking the question: "Where's everybody at?" No Brent, no Joshua, no Will. Much missed, you guys are.

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One more day closer to the end, my friend. Check out the board for the Wall o' Pornstars (SFW, don't worry ... although I'm waiting for some uber-moralist to complain, 'cause I've got the alternate background - Wall o' Cooze [same actresses, just different, ahem, angles] raring to go).

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The Lost Week - Thursday & Friday

Thursday is red ...

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Kid Kash Appreciation Haiku Review

Mikey Whipreck & Tajiri vs. The FBI vs. Super Crazy & Kid Kash (ECW Guilty As Charged)
Kid Kash rolls up his
middle finger like a window;
third grade jokes kick ass.

Kid Kash vs. Paul London (TNA)
London, pre-Honor,
meets Kash, post-Tri Cities, in
a nice mat classic.

Kid Kash vs. Josh Cody (NSW First Anniversary Show)
Kash flies around the
ring, matching hold for hold with
Cody, at age twelve.

Kid Kash vs. Amazing Red (TNA)
Red would be more like
a wrestler I'd enjoy, if
he'd trim that red 'fro.

Kid Kash, Frankie Kazarian & Michael Shane vs. Hector Garza, Sonjay Dutt & Sonny Siaki (TNA Turning Point)
Kash holds his own here;
at least Siaki killed no
one ... not yet, at least.

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Once again, VH1 manages to make a mockery of music that I love.

"The Hip Hop Award Show" is nowhere near what a true show that exhaults the love for rap music should be. Praising the old school is one thing, but one of the other sides of the coin is to present the talented up-and-comers that toil in the underground. Shit, last year they had Kid Rock, who's about as street as Kid Kash.

I thought VH1's hatred for black people was only reserved for episodes of "Dude, Where's My Ghetto Pass?" where they discuss who's got more street cred: The Michelin Man, the Pillsbury Doughboy, or the Hamburger Helper glove. I was wrong. And the best part is the actors and comedians who look like they'd rather be fucking people of the same sex and different races than be on this show.

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As much as I love nekkid chicks, why can I not get into "Girls Gone Wild?"

I mean, I've seen porn, okay? I've seen strippers. I've even got a couple of DVDs with strippers on 'em ... "Hip Hop Honeys" and "Playboy Playmate of the Year 2004: Carmella DeCesare" (the runner-up in 2004's Diva Search ... why not?).

But I have no interest in checking out drunk college bitches showing titty and bush and crack, and acting all stupid as fuck. Maybe I'm just a player-hater who wishes I had thought of putting drunk college bitches showing titty and bush and crack on DVD first and selling it for $20, exploiting women with burgeoning drinking problems.

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When the hell is Infinite Crisis supposed to come out? It has felt like it's supposed to be "coming next month" for the past six. And I've been reading through the "Omac" stuff, the "Thanagar/Rann" stuff, and I've been getting "Villains United," the magic miniseries, and some of the post-"Identity Crisis" tie-ins, and I'm only a fingertip closer to grasping exactly what in the fuck "Infinite Crisis" is going to be about.

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Do people still ride Kevin Smith's dick? I wonder this because I heard or read or dreamed somewhere that there was a "Clerks" sequel coming out, which seems redundant because hasn't EVERY Smith film been a "Clerks" sequel?

Anyway, used to love Smith. "Clerks" was a favorite, solely because it was a fresh film about ... nothing. Keep in mind, Seinfeld was making a comic career out of this and starting to migrate his schtick to TV. So "nothing" was in. But it still holds up as a pretty funny film.

Then "Mallrats" came out, and I realized that Kevie can't plot for shit. Mostly just dick and fart jokes.

But, "Chasing Amy" was a great film. I almost get the sense that I'm watching a film by a different director entirely ... until of course that no-talent shithead Jason Mewes comes on the screen. The only sad thing about this is that the film is so much a love letter to Joey Lauren Adams, who apparently was told "yelling = emoting" in acting school, that it kinda gets sad. I can think of many a better woman to film praises to, and none of 'em have the voice of a smoked-out Muppet. The commentary on the DVD ... some sad shit, there. I wonder if Smith's wife ever turns her back on him for a second, for fear that he'll run to the nearest pay phone to call ol' JLA and talk about old times. "Remember that movie where you played the lesbian?" "Yes Kevin." "You know, I wrote that for you." "I know, Kevin." And so forth ...

"Dogma" was garbage. I firmly believe to this day that Smith made up the whole "Catholics have made death threats against me." Mainly, because if he did, it would draw attention to his film and make people think it's supposed to be controversial, when the only controversial thing in it is the shitdemon, and the only thing that made me (a non-Catholic ... but an Episcopal, so close) want to kill was that I wasted a perfectly good day watching that shit. Alan Rickman at his lowest point; hell, dying in "Die Hard" beat that. God is Alanis Morrisette? Sorry, suspension of disbelief quit about an hour prior to that.

And then there was "Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back." You'd have to get a Craftmatic adjustable bed and get the "V" going to give yourself the kind of self-gratifying blowjob that Smith was giving himself with this film. "Hey, fans, spend 8 bucks to see all the friends I know, and hear my characters talk about the comics & movies I love, so I can present a story about characters that I'll vow to put down after this film, only to make myself a liar about two months later."

Kevin Smith, this middle finger's for you, you pudgy no-talent, slack-ass hack bastard. Eat a dick, straight up.

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Stables in wrestling are an important part of driving storylines. With an appalling lack of credible stables in wrestling right now, it's no wonder why feds like WWF are being criticized for their lackluster plotting and angle development. Stables don't appear to be an easy thing to develop. They have a particular symmetry and structure that, for some reason or another, seems difficult for the majors to grasp.

Of course, one of the earliest and best stables, the Four Horsemen, is the be all, end all of stables against which all others are measured. The last "great" stable (so the WWF would have you believe) was Evolution. HHH, Flair, Batista, and Orton ... they weren't no Horsemen. They were barely the Dungeon of Doom.

Looking at stables across the board, there are some common themes that build the prototypical stable:
1) You have to have a figurehead, a World champion contender (if not the champion himself). The Hart Foundation had Bret Hart, the Horsemen had Flair, the NWO had several (Hogan & Nash, for starters).

2) A tag team pairing. One of the best was Anderson and Blanchard, who wear among the few tag teams that held the two major tag belts in America. Team Canada in TNA has this down pat, as any pairing can pose a credible threat to any other teams.

3) A midcarder that can make a credible run for the secondary belt. If not this, then a member than can take the losses and majority of first pinfalls in multi-man tag matches. Ace Steel, a winner is (not) you.

4) A manager/valet wouldn't hurt. It doesn't necessarily have to be a manager who wrestles, but that will sometimes be the case anyway (JJ Dillon, Bobby Heenan).

5) A nice manageable, round number. Four Horsemen ... Triple Threat ... the Triad. Nice round numbers; this is why the Dungeon of Doom sucked ... this is why NWO started to suck. In stables, expansion isn't always the best strategy. However, rotating memberships, that doesn't hurt. Trading Lex Luger for Barry Windham ... aces.

Bobby Heenan's family was an exception to some of the rules up there, but damn, the Heenan family rested almost squarely on the strength of Heenan alone. Heenan ruled, it didn't matter if you had Haku, Andre, Luger, Hennig, Flair, Terry Taylor or the fucking Repo Man. Heenan could do no wrong, and his mere presence could make you think that Iron Mike Sharpe had a chance in hell of winning gold.

Ring of Honor seems to have the stable thing down pretty well, as they have given us the Embassy, the Prophecy, the Second City Saints, Generation Next, the Rottweilers, Special K, and the Carnage Crew. Of course, I have no idea if these groups are still around, as I'm focusing solely on the 2004 era of ROH. Forgive my outdated ignorance, should this be the case.

That's what TNA should do in their national debut, to set themselves apart from the pack. Get a stable of some of their competitors and put 'em on a collision course with the upper card. Just off the top of my head:

- Jarrett & AMW seem to be making a sturdy group.
- Raven & the incoming Dudley Boys would make a nice counter-group.
- Team Canada would work, but Bobby Roode needs to make that move toward the World title to make 'em credible.
- 3LK needs to get disbanded right away ... Put Road Dogg back with Billy Gunn. Deport Konnan. And tag up Killings & Skipper.
- Call Lo Ki, reform Triple X with Daniels, add Alex Shelley & maybe Homicide ... Or an incoming Charlie Haas.

And in a parting thought: Were the Midnight Express a stable, in addition to a tag team? Reason I ask is because wouldn't Big Bubba have counted as member #4?

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... Friday is blue.

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SGM Super 30: Black Professional Wrestlers revisited!

Found! Some lost write-ups ... I thought I deleted this email from Ron about some of the athletes listed in our inaugural Super 30. While sifting through the emails in my account, I found these write-ups. As opposed to going back and inserting them in the SGM write-ups, where they'd be lost, I'll put 'em here, for everyone to read. So, w/o further ado, I give to you, Ron Beauregard on ...

... 2 Cold Scorpio: "I saw Scorpio job to Val Venis in the latter's RAW debut in Nashville. While making a name for himself as a high-flyer, his wrestling ability was overshadowed by his greatest gimmick: Flash Funk. The "sanitized pimp" character further stereotyped African-Americans as sexually promiscuous and helped Vince McMahon portray him as an outsider to the dominant culture."

... Ahmed Johnson: "This man simply could not speak English. Apaprently pronounciation is not a big deal in Pearl, Mississippi and his frequent in-ring screw-ups and poorly called spots threatened a couple of careers. His feud with Farooq, however, was priceless."


... Bad News Brown: "One of the greatest moments of Wrestlemania history was when Roddy Piper came to the ring painted half-black. Brown was either genuinely surprised at this or really sold some racial venom well. There was nothing in the feud that called for this, so I have always hoped that Piper did it as a public statement against some kind of race card that Brown played in the locker room."


... Booker T: "This man has single-handedly done more to elevate black wrestlers to the mainstream than any other person except for maybe the Rock. Of course, his history of robbing some Wendy's Restaurants while growing up in Houston also delegitimized any of his accomplishments, especially when the WWF...er...WWE played them up as part of his character a few years ago. His street cred as a convict helped build further racial stereotypes and gave segments of the audience the chance to say "See! All African-Americans really are criminals." In some ways, its hard to fault McMahon, since the events were public record thanks to the Smoking Gun and any attempt to cover them up would have looked bad. Of course, playing it up as part of his face character shows that Vince will do anything he can to make a buck.

"Hands down his worse gimmick was GI Bro. His pairing with Golddust was pure brilliance."


... D'Von Dudley: "The ECW version of the Dudley's were outstanding. The whole Dudleyville concept, and Sign Guy Dudley in particular, were hilarious and provided some good comic relief in Philly. Their use in the WWF, however, have not been so fulfilling. Instead of playing up the racial equality implications, the WWF has completely downplayed it. While still referring to D'Von and Buh-Buh Ray as brothers, the announcers simply do not explain it.

"D'Von's stint as a preacher is only the second time that the WWF has tried to bring in a character that is symbolic of the hold of the black church on African Americans (the first, of course, was Reverend Slick), but his heelish role made this gimmick almost unwatchable.

"The Dudleys will go down in history with some of the best harcore matches of all time, especially the TLC series against the Hardy's and Edge and Christian."


... Elix Skipper: "His head is enormous! Blame Canada."


... Ernest Miller: "My life would have been complete if, in one of his tag matches with Glacier in WCW, he had punched the canvas and everyone in the ring fell down....although I thought he was a bit too small to play the Jax character from MK all that well."


... Godfather: "One of the catchiest opening lines in the soundbite era of the WWF. The Hoe Train gimmick was outstanding...much more fulfilling than Flash Funk's Funkettes. One of the greatest Raw moments has to be when Lord Steven Regal chose the hoes of wrestling the match. He was wasted as the Goodfather, and his team-up with Venis really should have been called Supply and Demand."

... JYD: "Typical in his portrayal in the WWF. The man came to the ring in chains! Let's not play the slave card there at all.

"Grab them Cakes was the best song on the Wrestling Album...and JYD's appearance on American Bandstand was....not the best ever, but maybe the best ever for a wrestler."


... Kamala: "He freaked me out as a kid."


... Koko B. Ware: "The Birdman will stay in my memory forever for the time on Saturday Superstars that his bird took a crap in the ring. To a 10-year old who thought it was not pre-determined....that was hilarious."


... Mark Henry: "So the only time a black man can date a white woman is when she is 80-some years old? The giving birth to a hand deal was absolutely uncalled for. At least she didn't give birth to a buggy full of Sean Stasiak posters like Stacy Kiebler did."


... New Jack: "Arguably my favorite black wrestler. The stuff he did in ECW was outstanding. I was watching the ECW House Show in Asheville when a slow match started with some new group called the Baldies. So I made my way to the concession stand. As I am getting my change I hear the gunshot from Natural Born Killers go off. By the time I got to my seats (down a flight of stairs) New Jack already had the stapler out on PN News.

"The entrance in the middle of the match made New Jack's character. Its unpredictability kept you watching ECW, and the variety of weapons provided a weird mix of comedy and agony. My personal favorite was the plastic lawnmower, or the tray from Ryan's Steakhouse. The time he came to the ring with a "NOT GUILTY!" sign on his shopping cart is one of my top ten favorite moments in wrestling....right above the time when Juventud Guerrera tripped over the ring steps."

... Ron Killings: "He should not be on this list, in my opinion, but the people have spoken. The Truth sucks. 3 Live Crew sucks. His K-Kwick gimmick in the WWF sucked. The man comes from the Ahmed Johnson School of Verbal Communications. Hardwork Bobby Walker should be on here more for being NWO Sting than anything Killings has done."

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Dug Turner Classic Movies' Robert Wise spotlight programming today.

Particularly, they showed a classic film, the adaptation of Stevenson's "Body Snatcher," starring Karloff & Lugosi in their final on-screen pairing. A classic, creepy film, the likes of which they just don't make anymore.

There were exactly 7 pairings for these classic film ghouls: "Son of Frankenstein," "Invisible Ray," "Black Cat," "The Raven," "Black Friday," "Body Snatcher," and some god-awful film that pairs Karloff, Lugosi, and Lorre and some band leader who I've never heard of.

If I could convince my wife to make it, I'd have a football or hockey jersey with "Devil Bats" on the front, "Lugosi" on the back, and the number 41.

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Grading exams today. The short answer questions ... sweet damn.

The question: "You live in ancient Greece and you have just died. According to your myths and traditions, trace your steps from the point of death to your final resting place. Include all the sights you can expect to see, the perils you expect to face, and the people you will meet. Be as complete as possible."

Around the horn with some answers:

"When you die you go through the fields of Elysion (sic) to the river of Stix (sic) where you wait on the coin of life which gets you across by the riverboat Captain Sharon (sic ... supposed to be Charon). You then preced (sic) on to the castle where you have to pass the 3 headed dog."

"Thantos (sic) is the God of Death who I would meet first. I would be sent to Hades, which is not hell by the place you go while it is being determine where you will go next. There is a hell in the Greek world and also a place where Gods will go." (Actually, there isn't a hell in the Greek world.)

"if buried properly I have a coin under my tongue to pay for passage across the river Styx all the people are dead" (Methinks someone sandbagged that one.)

"Your wait at Styx to enter Hades. Meet Thanatos."

"Heart stops, rigor mortis occurs, hypostasis, and then body decomposes." (A little too literal of an interpretation of the question.)

"Death -> Burial -> Styx -> Sharon (sic) -> three headed dog -> Gates -> hades" (I love the capitalization of "gates" but not of "Hades".)

Then there are the little things, like how many people misspell "Styx:" "Styks," "Sticks," Stix," "Stux." Someone referred to Charon as "the little man with the boat;" one cat goes the extra mile and assumes that Charon is "skelatal-faced" (sic). Someone referred to Hades as "Hale," which I think is "Hell" spelled phonetically in the south.

And my absolute favorite:

"I die and then I am taken to a place where my loved ones can view me and say their goodbyes. After my funeral I will be buried in a cemetary where my body will rest. My soul will be in Heaven until Jesus comes back to earth." (When I give her zero credit for this answer, does that mean I'll go to hell?)

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Will posed an excellent question about the best new TV shows that are on this season. Well, I don't watch much in the way of TV. But I tell you what I'll not be watching.

"Weekends at the DL" (Comedy Central): Or maybe it's evenings at the DL. Well, whatever it's called, I won't call it "that show I really like, where the guy has D-list celebs like Andy Dick and anyone that has ever busted funny on 'Best Week Ever.'"

"The Showbiz Show" (also Comedy Central): David Spade, busting on celebrities that are only slightly more useless than him. Man, shit like that makes me wish "Stipperella" and "The Mullets."

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Let me get this straight: "Pimp My Ride" will hook a person up with a whole new cosmetic upgrade on their vehicle. But, when your shitty vehicle is leaking oil into the driveway, into the parking lot, or basically losing quarts of lube on a daily basis, you're shit outta luck. But at least you have an Xbox in your backseat.

Thank God Xzibit is a pretty decent rapper, or else his money is about one more season from not coming in anymore.

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And yet, the week still has two days left. Man, if I didn't love my job, fuck my job. Two more days of Lost love... Keep tuning in.

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Lost Week Update

I'll pull another double-duty post tonight ... I was grading and really let the night go fast. Some interesting things to note.

Plus, I'll be updating the board with two new image features - a new banner and background (which will probably get changed in a couple of days, in favor of a background and banner that we've had 20x over) - and finally uploading "the image" that everyone has been talking about over there.

So catch me sometime tonight. For real.

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Post 187 Baby!

Ah yes, post 187 on the great Science Gone Mad. At least until someone deletes one and makes a new post, thereby making it post 187 version 2.0

The Lost Week has me fired up to post again, so let's talk about it.

Television -- So tonight was the season premiere of lost. I have been waiting since May to find out what was in the bottom of the hatch. Turns out it is an Australian dude who calls people "brother." Turns out the island is at least partially a machine, it appears to be ran by a computer, and has a kickin 70s record collection. Oh....and the Australian Hulk Hogan also met Jack before in his flashback. Curiouser and curiouser.

News -- The airplane emergency landing = compelling story, happy ending
-- Hurricane Rita is downright scary. CNN is already hollering 5 dollar gas. The oil companies are already firing up the orders for their new private islands
Doesn't it seem like things have gotten a lot worse in the past 3 years?

School -- Chapter 3 is in the editing room -- Job prospects look bleak for AY 06-07 -- Bobby Z wrote a great rec letter for me to get some money from school, if it's the Lord's will

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The Lost Week - Tuesday & Wednesday

or, "Super big, super bad." I got two days worth to cover, so we'll see how mega this mother will get.

Tuesday Treble

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This coming Tuesday is a kind of big one for cool shit that I might like to come out in stores.

1) The TNA legacy set hits Wal-Mart. The set includes the Victory Road, Turning Point (which I have), and Lockdown shows. Catch is, price tag is $24.95 ($19.99 online), which is the price of just one of these shows from Highspots or the TNA website. Ain't shabby, plus I'm just damn curious how an all-cage match PPV comes off.

2) Blackalicious - "The Craft" (CD). Their "Blazing Arrow" CD was so damn good, why it didn't get a Grammy ... well, really doesn't surprise me, as Grammys don't go to music that's worth shit.

3) Capcom Classics Collection for PS2, which will certainly be worth the $20, for five small words ... "Final Fight" and "Street Fighter II."

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I seriously need to get my digital camera working, because my neck of South Carolina is full of pretty damn awesome billboards. One that I'm hopefully going to get on the journal one day is the "Have you been hurt by PORN?" billboard on the way to Greenville.

But driving home in the past few days, I had been completely oblivious to this new one that's been put up near me. When I noticed it, I almost swerved off the road. It's a picture of a trash can, and the tag next to it says, "This is no place for a baby." Underneath, the billboard "promises" you that you can leave any child with the nearby emergency room, no questions asked, no prosecution, no problem.

Let me get this straight: You can birth some illegitimate baby, and in an effort to keep infanticide down amongst single teen mothers, the state/federal government is basically saying that you can abandon your newborn child at a local hospital one night, be having sex and making more fucking bastard babies the next.

Someone tell me again how this is a better option than abortion as a birth control method. I mean, seriously, why even fucking make condoms anymore?? Oh right, to protect against STDs. Now, at what point can you leave your HIV(+) friend at the ER for the state to care for?

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'80's TV Much Love Haiku Review
Danger Mouse: "The World Of Machines"
Greenback traps DM;
Penfold again proves his worth.
"Follow the arrows."

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My exam hits the streets Thursday. There's this girl that's just bucking for extra credit, 'cause if she wears that skirt she wore to the study session - the one where I can almost see her holiest of holies - I'm taking her test up and giving her a 100 on the spot. Although granted, if she wears the skirt on Thursday that she wore to the study session, I probably will lose all interest, 'cause if that bitch ain't washing her clothes, that's not all she ain't washing.

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CD Of The Now: Stanton Moore - "Flyin' the Coop"

The Galactic skinsman drops philosophical shit on this album. Great drum driven jazz on this, and when I first heard it I could have sworn it was classic Gene Krupa from the '50's-60's ... maybe even further back to the classic '30's-40's era. Plus, for MMW fans, Chris Wood pops up on here to lend some bass on "Tang The Hump." Definitely a 2 3/4 count.

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Speaking of music, who the fuck told the Black Eyed Peas that their shit didn't stink? Because this new song that they've got out about some chick's ass ... fucking horrible. What is it, "my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps?" How awesome that must be, to be a 3 yr old & writing the lyrics for such a hot mainstream group.

This further solidifies my belief that music is further slipping into the stagnant shit of mediocrity being the rule rather than the exception. Used to be a CD had enough quality music on it that you could listen to each track and enjoy them on their merits; now, it's good enough that a new CD has "you know, that one song on it where she says 'shake shake it up' over and over" on it and it gets 4 out of 5 stars by 824 like-minded music hating shitheads on Amazon.

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Know thee this: I think the team of Junkyard Dog & Rodney Dangerfield have this shit sewn up.

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This month's RetroGamer has all three "The Last Ninja" chapters available for upload and immersion. I remember when I used to fuck this game up in the day. The shogun Kunitoki better watch the hell out. Yeah boyeeee.

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And that's all I had for yesterday ...

Wednesday Bass

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SGM 4x4

Top 4 zombies in film: 1) The "Tar Man" (Return Of The Living Dead); 2) The Conquistador (Zombie); 3)"Big Daddy" (Land Of The Dead) ; 4) "Michael Jackson" (Return Of The Living Dead 2)

Top 4 kung-fu movie deaths: 1) The death of Oscar ("The Story of Riki"); 2) One of the ninjas gets pulled apart by the arms and legs ("Chinese Super Ninjas"); 3) The beheading of the samurai's second ("Duel to the Death," dig the crazy last words); 4) Any victim of the dreaded flying guillotine ("Master of the Flying Guillotine")

Top 4 best phobias: 1) Osmophobia (body odor); 2) Genuphobia (knees); 3) Octophobia/ Triskadekaphobia (tie) (the numbers 8 & 13, respectively; apparently there is nothing to fear from any of the other numbers ... although 77 looks a little suspicious); 4) Counterphobia (fear itself)

Top 4 best things I've done so far this week: 1) Finished "Blood Will Tell." 2) Slept until 2Pm Monday. 3) Watched Homicide matches on DVD ... that's one crazy fucker. 4) Wrote an exam that includes references to Poe, mythology, and zombies.

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The guy behind the counter at the comic shop in Anderson rang up my copy of "JSA: Classified #3" and blurts out, "Man, Iwish I knew where they were going with [Power Girl]; is she a part of the Legion, or Atlantean, or Kryptonian? It's really pissing me off; I gotta know."

Clearly, I'm not the only one who needs some time off from work.

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We're having our "employee of the year" voting at our clinic.

I vote for my supervisor, in this anonymous ballot we have. He's an alright dude, who really knows his shit, keeps it together, and acts a true professional within the community. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wouldn't have my feeling hurt if I won it; been a fucker of a year, but I didn't quit, like most of my contemporaries. Fuck them, I'm still standing on the hill. But it'll probably go to one of the gashes I call my female colleagues.

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Getting sick as a mother, which is about what I expected ... I jinxed myself when I told everyone that with my luck, I'd get sick during this, my only week off since the beginning of the year.

This shit isn't my luck. It's gotta be someone else's. My luck in basking on a beach or in Toronto.

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Steal this book - Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies & The Truth About Reality, by Brad Warner. Read it and question all you know.

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Taylor Behl's missing. Who the fuck is this, you ask? Some stinking cooze that's missing from a Virginia college. They're interviewing her "best friend" and they're asking her about this 38 yr old cat named Ben Fawley that she apparently gave it up to & allowed him to take pictures of her scantily-clad body and post 'em on the internet.

Now, the best part of all this is that the guy who they have identified as a "person of interest" (now, itsn't that such a pretty phrase for "suspect") has a prior record. But, due to what the cooze's friend says, first momma's baby Taylor gave it up to the guy, then wanted nothing else to do with him. However, NO questions asked about this guy who the friend calls "this boyfriend that she had just started going out with." The friend couldn't even remember the new boyfriend's name, that's how tight that relationship was.

Maybe Taylor snuck off and met with that chick who went missing in Aruba ... I wish I was creative enough at this time to link this with JonBenet Ramsey, the "Runaway Bride", and Susan Smith, but you know, it isn't worth it. I barely care about the lives of the general public, why do I care about some anonymous face in the crowd whose whole 15 min of fame is comprised of shit like this?

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Muhammed Hassan has been released from the WWF. The last I saw of this guy, he was leading a group of ski-masked guys in an attack on the Undertaker, who put up a valiant fight but was ultimately overtaken by a guy who used a garrot to choke him out.

Love "sports entertainment," truly I do. And on the flip side of this, I've been watching a wrestler called Homicide stiff the shit out of everyone he's been in the ring with & who's now for some undisclosed reason "not allowed to leave the state of NY." That's wrestling, motherfucker.

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Wednesday is Appreciation Day.

I appreciate the hell out of "Ghost Hunters." It's easily probably one of the best shows on TV nowadays. A group of supernatural investigators go house to house and try to find proof of the existence of the paranormal. But, here's the thing: whenever they meet claims or alleged activity, the first thing they do is test the null hypothesis, that there is no activity other than some real-world phenomenon that better explains your experience.

Of course, this means that you have to sit through a whole lotta nothing getting found before you get to that one stray EVP where a disembodied voice is heard to say, "They don't want us here." Awsomely creepy stuff; I actually tried to get the TAPS team to come down to speak for my class, but I couldn't get the Psyc dept chair to fund their appearance fee.

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Now, on to some reader mail:

This one comes from a reader named "damnnearfonzie," who writes:

"Where'd you hear about this game ["Blood Will Tell"] at Nate? You've got a rep for pinching pennies and purchasing kick-ass games while balling on a budget...but this is a game i'd like to hear more about. Sounds very innovative, at least storywise. Is it a Japanese convert? Or a straight out American game?

"Do you have a top 5 list of the best budget games you've purchased for the PS2? Say, nothing more than 25 bones.

"And if both new systems were out today-given you have enough cash to buy either, which ould you purchase? The Playstation3 or the X-Box 360?"

Well, I subscribe to a good number of gamer mags (actually, two ... but it's a good number anyway). They ranked it pretty high for a game that hasn't had much mainstream press. It's a "Japanese convert," I guess, in that it is a story based around a samurai character, it's set in Japan, it was orignally released in Japan under the title "Dororo," and it's written by Osamu Tezuka, creator of "Astro Boy." I guess that'd make it a Japanese "convert."

As for a top 5 budget titles, that's an easy one: 1) Rocky; 2) Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick; 3) Katamari Damacy; 4) Viewtiful Joe; 5) Sonic Mega Collection. These are games that were $20 when they first came out, not games that started out around $40-50 then got marked down. That's a good list to start from.

Of the Playstation 3 or the X-Box 360, given the choice I guess I'll go with the PS3. But, if I had my way, I'd invest in a C64 emulator and play the hell out of some of the games I grew up with.

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Peace out for another day.

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The Lost Week - Monday

Video Game of the day: "Blood Will Tell." You play as Hyakkimaru, a man who had 48 body parts removed when he was a child. Now grown, he fights demons that terrorize Japan. When he finds and defeats the 48 Fiends that have stolen his body parts, he regains those parts, to sometimes extraordinary results. When he wins his left eye, the game goes to color for the first time (it begins in black & white). When he regains his nose, the controller vibrates to alert you to the presence of other Fiends (who are hidden in different areas of each stage); he begins to "smell" demon aura.

You have a nice amount of combo abilities, and you have an interesting array of weapons, including swords in the place of your arms, a machine gun in your right arm, and a cannon in your leg. And all of these weapons deal some serious destruction.

The boss fights are sometimes repetitive, but for the most part enjoyable and with just the right amount of difficulty. You also can find and upgrade your swords with careful stage exploration.

Overall, an incredible game, for what it is. You can probably find it for approx $20 in some game shops. Definitely give it a shot.

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I've been doing the research for a background for the message board, and in a roundabout train of thought, I gotta say ... Amee Donovan is one hot chick. That's one all-natural chick that oozes intensity.

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Who's the better tag team: World's Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin) or Triple X (Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper)?

Haas & Benjamin worked great tandem offense, as did XXX. When the split, Daniels and Benjamin went on to outstanding singles careers, while their respective partners struggled to find characters that connected with the fans. WGTT cut their chops in OVW; Daniels and Skipper paid their dues in the indy circuit & WCW, respectively.

Both held world tag gold. Listed on the TNA website is an upcoming best-of DVD for Christopher Daniels, and hopefully it will display some of the talents of XXX. Shelton Benjamin should have a DVD out any day now, as he's had some incredible matches since he touched down in the WWF; that would showcase a lot of the WGTT talents.

Both teams host members that ranked pretty decent on the SGM Super 30 Black Professional Wrestlers - Benjamin (#6) and Skipper (#13).

Haas is allegedly heading to TNA within the next few months. Maybe he can form a tag team with Elix Skipper to try to recapture their collective glory days in TNA's tag division.

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Ric Flair, by winning the WWF Intercontinental championship, he's done something that only two other individuals have done in wrestling history: Won both major WCW individual titles and both major WWF individual titles. The other two wrestlers? Bret Hart & Chris Benoit.

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Coming up this weekend, hopefully, will be the horror double bill of "Exorcism of Emily Rose" and "Venom." Expect reviews, should that come to fruition.

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Now playing: "The Best of Hammer Horror." I've ventured somewhat outside of my usual rap music boundaries and have been getting more into film scores. The CDs in the car before this one were "Vertigo," "The Best of Godzilla 1954-1975" and "The Best of Ennio Morricone." The Hammer soundtrack has some very good, atmospheric tracks on it, some of which even create a nice bit of chill up the spine. It was an import available through Amazon, and I managed to get it pretty quick in the mail.

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From the exam on Sept 22:
George Romero's "Night of the Living Dead," most closely illustrates what interpretation of the death state?

a. Death as cycling & recylcing
b. Death as continuation
c. Death as a waiting period
d. Death as enfeebled life

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The light that came in from the window woke me up, stabbing into the back of my eyes. I rolled slowly out of the bed, about two hours later than I was hoping to. I hopped in the shower and washed as much sleep out of my head as I could. And something occurred to me: The only thing we have is truth.

The world around us, that's what's true. The world is a beautiful place. And it's horrible and unfair. The people around us are inherently good. And they are miserable and manipulative. And all of those statements are true.

There are no absolutes ... not in religion, not in society, not even within ourselves. As good as we think we are, we let ourselves down. As much as we think we fall short, we excel. We don't know the extent of our capabilities; we're doing the best that we can, but we must do better.

We can argue, then, that we're at our best when we doubt our abilities, our saviors, our mentors, our surroundings. What are we? The sum of our experiences? Our abilities in times of crisis? Our interests? Our talents? Our personalities? Or what our personalities are not?

Then I got out of the shower, popped in a DVD and watched Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle from the Rumble 2003. And I realized that nothing is true ... everything is illusion. The world is what you make it.

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Signing out for tonight.

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The Lost Week - Introduction

I couldn't tell you the last time I had a week off from work. Actually, yeah, I can ... it was in the tail-end of March, maybe April. Don't remember exactly, but I know it's been a while.

But, I put in a shitload of after-hours time at the clinic to catch up my paperwork, so much so that I told them last week that I just need this week to recharge myself. Plus, I don't think I owe those bastards another damn second of my time. And thus was born the Lost Week.

I have seven days of nothing but me, my spare time, and my thoughts. I have assigned some projects for myself, and some odds and ends here and there to tie up - wrestling & movies to watch, books to read, music to listen to, et cetera. The daily Lost Week diatribes will be a commentary on those exact things. I'm taking a notebook on the road with me, to chronicle as much of this as I can. Hopefully it'll be good ... hopefully it won't suck balls.

[Like all projects I set up for myself, this might fall through. If it does, this post will get erased ... nothing like being reminded of your failures. If it doesn't, I'll be taking this line out.]

The fun starts Monday, Sept 19 ... posts will probably go up at night. Late. Enjoy.

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I weep for self-importance.

I read an article on the hurricane damage in New Orleans last night, that detailed Anne Rice's admonishment of George Bush and the federal government's slow response to the disaster. I read it, and I started thinking how I'm sure the Great Satan's losing sleep over what some fat goth chick who writes books about homo vampires says about his management style.

And, are they "homo vampires" or are they "vampire homos?" Are they homos who became vampires, or are they vampires who made the conscious decision to later become homos, considering that the vampirism was going to get them into hell anyway, so ... you know, why not?

I haven't had nearly as much sleep as I should be getting.

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Southernfried appears in SC university lecture!

I managed to sneak a SF reference into my lecture for Death & Dying on Thursday. The topic was on the philosophy of "virtual death," an interpretation of death that is strongly influenced by the permeation of technology that distances human beings from each other.

Here's the transcript, since I use very detailed lecture notes it ended up being almost verbatim:

"Okay, off the philosophical high horse. Let me tell you a story: I have a friend named Brent Burke. He and I, along with a couple of other friends, run a small website/message board community, where friend scattered across the country can meet, check in, and keep in touch. On this website, we run them months sometimes, like 'Rap Music Appreciation Month' or 'Video Game Month,' etc. One month, another site moderator and I decided to run 'Brent Burke Memorial Month,' known unofficially to us as 'Brent Burke is Dead Month,' although we never officially named it that. All throughout the month, we were going to run an appreciation of Brent and his life, while never discussing the point that he died. It was instead a memorial; we'd post up pictures of Brent, poems about his life, old writings or artwork that he had uploaded or added to the internet. Whenever someone would post, 'Hey guys, Brent's not dead, I saw him in the mall,' we'd treat it like an 'Elvis sighting.' When Brent would eventually catch wind of what we were doing and post, the plan was to jump on him as 'an imposter,' trying to make fun of a very serious undertaking, pardon the pun.
The one thing that stopped us from going through with this was, 'What if Brent really died during this?' We technically already virtually killed him; people would have posted their denials, their memorials, their copings. Had he truly passed away while this was going on, what would have happened? What confusion would have ensued? People would have already mourned the passing of someone who then would have passed away for real. Put yourself in those shoes for just a second.
Kastenbaum makes a profound statement: 'The more we become accustomed to remote interactions, the less our senses and feelings are guided by the breath and presence of real people, who really live and can truly die.'"

Congratulations Southernfried, you're famous ... well, for a day anyway.

(Incidentally, I'm going to be posting more often in the next few weeks. I'm almost out from behind the 8-ball at work, and I've got a huge backlog of online projects that I want to get to.)

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