Sick Day Double Feature

Demons (1985)
Dir: Umberto Bava
Starring: Actors & actresses so obscure, their own parents probably haven't heard of them

There are a few obscurities about film that I really enjoy, and among those are the film-within-a-film concept, where actions in the movie are dictated either by the creation of a film in the storyline, or by the impact of a film on the acting crew. Examples of this are Popcorn (one of my favorites), Wes Craven's New Nightmare, and Living In Oblivion.

"Demons" is one of these films, and trust me, it's just balls to the wall fun to watch. People on the street are given free tickets to a movie by a guy in a metal half-mask. When they attend the movie, they find that the activities in the horror movie on the screen are reflected in the theater in real life. The actors are all likable; true to attending a real movie in the theater, the characters represent all walks of life, from schoolgirls to drug addicts, to a pimp, to a blind guy & his daughter.

The demons are nasty, oozing, spewing, clawing beasts that transform and erupt from the inflicted wounds of victims (think of Romero's ideas about zombie reproduction). Gore is plentiful, and, while I consider myself a horror movie fan to the point that some scares and jolts don't affect me, "Demons" produces moments of genuine unease. Admittedly, the ending comes out of nowhere, but it doesn't disappoint. There were a couple of sequels to this, but I've read some bad things about them.

Oh, and the '80s metal soundtrack ... anything with Rick Springfield, Billy Idol, and Motley Crue is just icing, man. Just icing.

Fearless Fighters (1973)
Dir: Wu Ming Hsiung
Starring: Yee Yuan, Chiang Ming, Chang Ching Ching (I'm not making that up), Wu Ming Shia, Chen Hung Lieh

Starting off with some magnificent displays of martial artistry, "Fearless Fighters" doesn't let up when it comes to action. I've watched enough kung-fu movies to know a thing or two about the components that make for good martial arts cinema, and this film delivers in spades.

Dubbing is high quality. Nigh-impossible feats of superhumanity are on display in almost every scene. The story is coherent and well-paced, often a rarity for films like this. And as far as characters go, Lei Pong is just as mighty as the Master of the Flying Guillotine, Pai Mei, and a stackful of Deadly Venoms.

Yee Yuan plays Lei Pong as the conflicted leader of the Eagle Clan; his brothers have become common thieves, and when they steal the government gold shipment from the emmisary Lightning Whip, Pong's hand is forced and he must turn against his brothers. Accompanying him are Lightning Whip's children, left behind after his death to avenge him. The denouement of the film comes only after we're introduced to a dizzying array of different weapons and styles, including the Solar Ray, the Devil Razors, and the Twin Sparrows.

Mark my words: I fancy myself an admirer and amateur collector of swords, but until I get one of those swords with the rings along the top of the blade, I ain't shit.