I picked up the TNA ppv tonight, sort of a get-well present for myself (sick, *cough,cough*).
A very schizo card; you had some solidly laid out matches, with a decent storyline (Sabin/Daniels, AMW/LAX, Christian/Styles), requisite filler matches (Paparazzi/Killings & Hoyt, VKM nee New Age Outlaws/Kazarian, Bentley & Devine, Naturals/Dutt & Lethal), an ... interesting World title match (Abyss/Sting), and then ... the money match ... Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe.
If I was still doing the "What Worked/ What Sucked" TNA match analyses like I used to do for That Other SiteTM, this is how the score card would read1:
Voodoo Kin Mafia (BG James & Kip James) d. Frankie Kazarian, Matt Bentley & Johnny Devine
What worked: Really? Nothing. No, seriously; absolutely nothing. Everyone involved in making the New Age Outlaws over should hang their head in abject shame.
What sucked: Billy Gunn's ode to the competition, with his Pedigree & Sweet Chin Music setup, only to pull back at the last minute, successfully looking more like a tard than when he was wearing pigtails.
Star of the match: The referee; the ol' Road Dogg tried a kip-up, but landed flat on his ass, so he actually initiated the ref's assistance in completing this incredible offensive maneuver.
The count: 1 count
The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) d. Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal
What worked: The chemistry between Dutt & Lethal is pretty fine-tuned, for a team that's just thrown together for the purposes of losing.
What sucked: Jerry Lynn would have made a nice addition to ringside, to counter Shane Douglas. And why not push some sort of pseudo-familial relationship between Andy and Shane? I mean, shit, the James Gang ain't family, but that doesn't stop them.
Star of the match: Jay Lethal; I'm digging his style all the way through the ROH 2004 DVD collection, and he shined bright in this match.
The count: 2 count
X Title: Christopher Daniels (c) d. Chris Sabin
What worked: Daniels falls out of the ring, makes this oddly perfect angel shape with his back sweat against the padded floor. It fits his cultish, reverend-like character.
What sucked: Nothing of major note. Kinda sucked there was no Angel's Wings finisher, but that's made up for the lack of a quick rollup pin.
Star of the match: Jerry Lynn, partiarch of the X Division. He gets in the face of Sabin and demands he take his loss like a man. If this doesn't yield an eventual Lynn/Sabin FIGHT FOR RESPECT, then I'll be sorely disappointed.
The count: 2 & 3/4.
Ron Killings/Lance Hoyt d. The Paparazzi (Alyx Shelly/ Austin Starr)
What worked: The ongoing beef betwixt Shelly & Starr made the match more interesting than it ever should have been.
What sucked: Lance Hoyt; him and his moonsault and his jizz target tattoo (Nash almost called him out on that during the match). Lance Hoyt < Elix Skipper; shame that TNA didn't follow through with that Killings/Skipper team that they hinted at about 3 weeks ago. That would have made a much better match.
Star of the match: Kevin Nash; he should seriously consider a shift to commentary, and I'll watch TNA until the day one of us dies.
The count: 2 count
Christian Cage d. AJ Styles
What worked: Can't really put my finger on it ... the match was just very well-paced, and the two were evenly matched.
What sucked: Rhino playing house therapist at the end to keep Daniels and Styles' marriage together.
Star of the match: Christian; he got the win, and hopefully will come back and get that rematch for a belt he never lost.
The count: 2 & 3/4 count; I personally liked this match.
NWA Tag Team Title: LAX (Homicide/Hernandez) d. AMW (James Storm/Chris Harris)
What worked: LAX getting the duke works for me. Plus, the possiblity that we'll see the Battle of the Sick Xenophobic Finishers (Petey Williams' Canadian Destroyer vs. Homicide's Gringo Killer).
What sucked: How Storm & Harris suddenly got on the same page after the past several weeks of miscommunication is pretty lazy.
Star of the match: Hernandez. That motherfucker is a HOSS~! He's not too terribly stiff (in the bad, Bill Kazmeier way), but he's stiff where he needs to be (in the Lesnar, powerhouse throwing bitches around way).
The count: 2 & 1/2; the ending was god-awful (LAX wins the match, but gets stripped of the tag titles ... I agree with the crowd: "Bull ... shit!" They should have just gone ahead and burned the flag anyway.)
NWA World Title: Abyss d. Sting (c)
What worked: Sting ATE THE TACKS~! I was pretty impressed with that.
What sucked: The abominably long set-up for Sting to hang Abyss upside down by his feet. And the payoff - repeated chairshots - just wasn't worth it.
Star of the match: That growth on Abyss' left side. Man, when Sting hung him up by his feet and Abyss' shirt revealed his conjoined twin myslexia, even the cameraman was trying to get an answer there.
The count: 2 & 1/2; even though the ending sucked nuts (Sting losing the belt to Abyss via DQ)
Kurt Angle d. Samoa Joe
What worked: Kurt Angle's entrance music is pretty fucking wicked. Also, Joe has the potential to be Angle's TNA Benoit; we'll see where that goes.
What sucked: The fact that they pissed on Sting as NWA champion, so now Angle can chase Abyss (who he just defeated last Thursday), instead of chasing another money match for Turning Point, versus Sting.
Star of the match: Samoa Joe. He started strong against Angle. He made the Olympic hero bleed buckets, almost choked him out, and gave Kurt respect for his win. Plus, he said "goddamn" on the live arena mic and made the announcers issue a quick apology for how "intense" Joe was just then.
The count: 2 & 3/4 count; it almost did the job.
1 The following assumes that you've been watching a healthy dose of TNA for the past 6 weeks. Just warning you.
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