(TNA, 2005)
-vs-
Fit Finlay
(WWF, 2006)
Friday, June 30, 2006
Reasons to watch "Smackdown!"
This discussion began on That Other SiteTM, and I turned on tonight's episode. So far, I've summed up the reasons for watching Smackdown in the following seven easily digestible observations:
7) The Great Khali on the mic;
6) William Regal putting on a wrestling clinic every time out;
5) Psicosis vs. Super Crazy;
4) Kid Kash's uncanny resemblance to Owen Hart;
3) JBL is hilarious on commentary;
2) Booker T & Sharmell OWN~!; and, of course,
1) Finlay's midget.
Granted, the reasons for running quickly in the opposite direction of this crap?
- Mark Henry's war against Chavo Guerrero
- The ongoing exploitation of Eddie Guerrero to keep Rey Rey over
- Ken Kennedy being completely overrated
- The MIZ!
- Noble & Kash do not "Pitbulls" make ... Yorkshire Terriers, maybe
- The Great Khali in the ring
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Gainesville Stories part 6,904,503
NP: This is Such a Pity - Weezer
Well, its coffee story time again. This time, after being drawn to a local shop offering $2 lattes (Starbucks just opened two blocks away and they are struggling....), I am now sitting in front of a woman who is apparently a professional "life coach." She is working with an international student on her application letter to college, and talking on the phone to a person and telling them "You should be touching the violin everyday....even if you just use your finger to open the case and rub on it a bit, you should be touching it every day."
Redd Foxx is more and more right every day.
Monday, June 26, 2006
.....and then it hits you
NP: Be Near Me - ABC
In high school, one of my vocabulary words at some point was "epiphany." In Pulp Fiction, Jules refers to, what alcoholics term, a "moment of clarity." Well, I'm proud to report, that today I had one regarding my dissertation.
As I have said before, writing a dissertation is like swimming in peanut butter. When you start, you have a lot of energy and you can cleary see the other side of the pool. ONce you get into it, you start losing steam because, well, peanut butter is a little thicker than water. Then, when you get towards the middle, you are in over your head and you aren't sure if you are on course because, obviously, peanut butter is harder to see through than water. After the struggle, as you push on, you get a second wind and get closer to the end....and at some point you can see the edge of the pool. That last part was today. I now know what exactly all the information I have gathered, all the chapters I have written, all the interviews I have read....I know what they mean.
The argument is totally clear and the framework as to how I want to structure it makes more sense. This is all a good thing since the first draft is due to the grad school on Friday.
Nice new banner
Quickly replacing the Kung-Fu Banner I saw earlier that seemed a bit too wide.
An unfortunate aspect of the coding for the blog, which is probably a result of using the prefab templates, is that when I tried using the HTML code for the banner in the title field, it puts the HTML code as the title in the browser, as well as replacing the "Science Gone Mad" header with the banner.
Ah well.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Anyone else had moments like this?
I was driving home after work today, and while stopped at a red light in the hodunk-podunk town that I work in, and that I hope to live in soon, I saw, on the porch of the house to my right ....
...
Wait for it ...
...
...
... a black guy eating a big slice of watermelon.
That's gotta rank right up there with getting into a car accident with an Asian guy wearing glasses. I started feeling racial guilt just for looking over at him. When I tell of this, I feel this odd compulsion to explain that "I swear I'm not a racist."
Progress report on the house buying
We put in an offer on a very nice, modest house that was selling for $79,900. It had been almost completely redone on the inside ... new sheetrock, painting, hardwood floors, kitchen remodeled. They had really done a nice job.
We offered $72,000 for it, knowing that they paid around $30G for the house, and there's just no way that the amount of work they did to the house was $49,900.
They had 'til Friday at 5:00P to counter-offer. At the 2:00P point, the word came in ... the counter-offer? $79,000.
Now, read that again. Asking price: $79,900. Our offer: $72,000. Their return: $79,000. My first response was ... well, vulgar, what would you expect?
We told the realtor that our only other offer would be $75,000, and to tell them that if they were going to counteroffer, don't even bother. The realtor's response was something along the lines of, "Can't believe they'd screw us like that." Yep, they'd be screwing her too. Unless a really sweet deal comes with a counteroffer, we'll keep looking. Which does suck only marginally, 'cause I think the wife and I are looking forward to getting into a house now ... WE GOTS THE BUG!!!
Courting disaster, DVDs, and why I can't get right
I have this three part introspective dissertation on my job & line of work, but it's tied up right now in my hard drive ... at work. Yep, was writing it in-between sessions. It's pretty caustic ... but it might have to wait until next week starts up in full for me to be able to post it here.
Until then, regale in stories of, yep, my ongoing DVD purchasing habits:
1) Just got my copies of the Superfriends DVDs, "United They Stand" and "vs. The Legion Of Doom." Good times, great memories. Set me back all of $8 from ... I hesitate to admit this ... Walmart.com. I might as well have sold my soul, but shit, 2 DVDs for $8, when in the store they were selling for $5.50 and $7.50, respectively? What would you do?
2) I ordered about 5 movies over the course of two separate orders from Deep Discount DVD, and they were all on backorder ... okay, now, they are all coming back in stock at different times. I now have 5 separate shipments coming to me, all consisting of one DVD each. In this order: Repulsion; Dracula Has Risen From The Grave; Curse Of Frankenstein; Curse Of The Demon; and, Cemetery Man.
3) Buy 3, Get 1 Free sale at Ring Of Honor!
4) Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale at Barnes & Noble!
5) TNA: Against All Odds 2006 (the one where Christian wins the title & the fans flood the ring) out July 4, only at Best Buy!
Man, damn! I'll be glad when I get my effexor prescription filled ... it won't be long before I'm throwing dead midgets out the back door.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The Worst Defense Ever
NP: California Dreamin - R.E.M. cover version
I rarely blog about sports, but I want to share what has to be the lamest excuse ever given in a sports controversy.
Ozzie Guillen, the fire-tounged manager of the CHicago White Sox, called out Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti (you know...the guy next to Woody Paige on Around the Horn) and referred to him as a "fag." It was a bit more colorful than that, but the term "fag" stuck out as homophobic and drew the criticism.
So, the Sun-Times immediately jumped on it and ran with it. Mariotti, since he is the star of the paper, was in Miami at the NBA Finals. Another columnist ran a story about how terrible it was to use that term in public discourse, prompting a defense from Guillen.
This takes the "I have friends who are ___________" defense to a whole other level.
His defense, according to ESPN.com, "Guillen also told Couch that he has gay friends, attends WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to go to the Gay Games in Chicago."
Oh my where to start. Apparently the WNBA has now become a source of homosexual pride somewhere and men watch women's basketball in order to support homosexual rights. Across Tennessee, thousands of Lady Vols fans just jumped out of their armchairs and said "nuh-huh."
Seriously, he attends WNBA games??? What the hell? Since he is a Chicago sports celebrity, he probably gets free tickets, but that is beside the point. He also plans to go to the "Gay Games" in Chicago. I'm not sure which direction to take that comment, so I'll drop back and say "Insert your Own Joke Here."
Saturday, June 17, 2006
An observation
While looking at houses for sale, it's clear that highway repair is the epitome of that cliche, "Things have to get worse before they get better."
When regular pronunciations go wrong ...
When did it become appropriate for Norfolk, VA to be referred to as "Norfuck?"
And, am I the only one who takes great care when saying Arnold Schwarzenegger's name, so that it doesn't come out "Schwarzenigger?" Like most people I know say it ...?
Friday, June 16, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Technology Ruins Your Mind
I want to use this wonderful forum and gripe a bit about something that has been bothering me for a while. As some of the core readers of SGM know, I regularly teach American history to college undergraduates. Because I am a firm believer in communication and critical thinking skills, my students have to write a number of short papers over the course of the term. Here recently, the kids have began to turn to Wikipedia as one of their top sources for background information or quotations (all of my paper topics are derived from a book, so the Internet is not their primary source base). Although I am trying to break them of this habit, most kids have come to see this as a reliable fountain of information. That, on a number of levels, is sad.
You see, Wikipedia is a digital pissing contest. It is nothing more than the opinion of who is the last person to view the page and press edit. It is about as reliable as a Commodore Vic-20, complete with casette drive. Don't believe me? Go to Wikipedia, click on ANY article, and then click history. The reversions that people do are astounding. The "revert wars" that go on would be funny if they weren't so sad.
The current example is the page for the new ECW. As we all know from "that other site," the core readership of SGM HATED last night's ECW debut show. You wouldn't know that from the wikipedia entry, though, as some guy with the handle JFred has edited out every opinion on the show that has been posted. This includes links to the feedback page on 1wrestling.com, a statement that "Paul Heyman himself did not like how the show turned out," and numerous remarks saying that "hardcore fans were disappointed." I'm almost afraid to put up what changes that I have done for fear that JFred will see this site and remove them. A number of his comments (yes, you can comment on the changes you make) say "revert, not needed" or "revert, that detail not needed."
Who the hell is JFred to tell us what is needed? That is why Wikipedia sucks. Wikipedia does not allow for "open-source knowledge," it lets anyone censor the opinion of anyone else as many times as they want. On a blog or on a message board, you post your thoughts and they stay up as long as you or the Admin (i.e. the Iron Fist of Justice) allows it. Generally, those authority figures are limited and have set guidelings. In Wikipedia, any user can change anything at anytime. This means that the discourse has no way of ever solidifying into something that can be known. There is no permanent information. Sure, you can argue that no information is ever permanent, but to change something in, say, the discipline of history you have to do research, publish your findings in either a peer-reviewed journal or manuscript, and then go through a few years of debate before something is commonly accepted. With Wikipedia, if JFred doesn't like you talking bad about Vince McMahon, your shit goes away right there. No debate, no discourse...poof its gone. Thousands of gatekeepers can not be good.
Right now, the ECW entry ends with the line "while completely panned by fans and critics, received a relatively strong 2.7 rating." I guarantee you that by the time you read this, the 2.7 rating will still be there, but the panned by fans line will be gone. Apparently, that is a "point of view." You can't have a point of view on wikipedia, you have to give them "just the facts." Now if that isn't the dumbest thing. Knowledge is interpretation. It isn't a bunch of dates and names thrown together, unless you are in an 8th Grade social studies class. Wikipedia is knowledge for Middle-schoolers and the technogeeks think it is the greatest invention since honey mustard came in a squeeze bottle. I never thought that when technogeeks used the internet for something other than porn, things could get this dangerously close to the edge of total disaster for the fundamental practices of mankind.
If people are on here controlling the knowledge regarding a pro-wrestling show, what are they doing to important things? If you go to the Christianity page, there is currently a pissing contest....er....debate over whether or not Christianity is a mono-theistic religion. That would be funny if it just wasn't so sad. We can't say that ECW sucks, but we can debate whether Christianity has more than one God. (Although it was kinda funny when someone said that followers of Jesus were called "home-g's," but I digress....) Well, the debate is limited to single lines inside of reverts and a few broader comments on the "Talk page."
This is just dangerous. Absolutely, positively dangerous.
[Book Report] The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
Science fiction books suck, you say? All full of techno-babble and pscudoscience, you scoff? Not so, this book by Alfred Bester. Herein is crafted a gripping tale of brutal, mind-staking revenge, which also encompasses a search for the solution to a multifaceted celestial riddle. Along the way, you are met with some high-minded topics like teleportation as the primary means of transport; one-way telepaths that can only broadcast thoughts, but can't receive thoughts from others; radioactive G-men; a subculture of people who speak exclusively in the foreign language of subtle body movements; and a society of technocrats that have expelled the worship of any deity to the point where documents of such action are sold as pornography on the sidewalks. All of those complex and intriguing concepts, which individually could be developed into strong stories of their own, simply serve as background plot developments that you encounter in approximately the first five chapters alone. By that point, you've barely even scratched the surface.
The story begins simply, with a space janitor named Gully Foyle floating within the battle-damaged husk of a ship, hopelessly lost and barely able to survive. When a traveling carrier, the Vorga, happens upon Foyle yet fails to rescue him, the two year quest for bloody revenge begins in earnest. Of course, all is not as it superficially appears, for what seems to be a simple revenge story becomes rife with more political intrigue, hard-boiled gumshoe detection, and pulp brutality than you would expect. Foyle, the barbaric and self-described "educated tiger," becomes central to the power struggle between nations, across planets. His plight begs the question, if Vorga had not intersected Gully's life and sparked this quest for vengeance, would the warmongers have even guessed at the potential that he presents to be their greatest ally or - as the tiger's inclination may so be - their worst enemy? On the way toward answering that question, many age-old arguments present themselves with new twists: free will vs. determinism, the sacrifice of one for the good of many (and by extension, man's responsibility to his fellow man), potential vs. stagnation, purpose vs. obsession, and countless more. The plus side to these conundrums is that, through Foyle, there are no easy answers, only a unique glimpse at resolve that may not necessarily gel with our own opinions.
The revenge theme has always been one that I've enjoyed. Vengeance is so strong a motivation in these stories; it's interesting to me how characters seeking revenge view the singlemindedness of their quests. Most writers have a difficult time allowing their characters to see the plight of vengeance; that which drives us in our goal to destroy will cease to drive us if we are successful. One glaring example is that Foyle doesn't recognize the simple irony that, if it weren't for Vorga's failure to intervene, he'd never have survived; the target of his vengeance becomes his savior, but by serving as Foyle's obsession.
One thing that I also noticed was that the future presented in Stars is a few clicks removed from your typical "dystopic future" passed off in other science fiction works, be it book, film or videogame. There is wholesale corporate and governmental corruption, yes, and there is subtle exploitation of the masses, but would Bester's 2103 really be any different from the 2006 that we now know, if you just shut your eyes and listened closely? Probably not; only the superscience is different. And given how things have worked out, for Foyle and for 2006 American man, that's a pretty scary damn thing. We're seeing the enemy, ya'll, and he is us. And them. And you and me, but especially you.
This is definitely a three count book; I hadn't come across a fiction in quite some time that I actually couldn't wait to get home to a quiet place to finish reading it. Chapters flowed like wine across the lips of drunken fools. I highly recommend this one.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Wal-Mart & vice
Just wondering what would happen if Wal-Mart entered into offering wholesale prostitution in their stores? It would definitely be cleaner & probably a lot cheaper than what you could get at the local mom-and-pop corner stores. Plus, you'd have a better chance at getting a cleaner, more efficient product.
Although, you'd also risk the occasional malfunctioning item. So you'd have to watch those manufacturer's recall notices.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Bam Bam Bigelow: The Beast From The East
I got an email from Brent and somehow the topic came up about writing a biography of a wrestler that has yet to be tainted by the WWF spin machine. There are in fact a few wrestling books that are on the shelves that are pretty well written and yet not affected by the bubble that the WWF books exist in:
Terry Funk: More Than Hardcore
Dusty Rhodes: The American Dream
King Of The Ring: The Harley Race Story
Hardcore History: The Extremely Unauthorized Story of the ECW
... etc.
So, Brent, in one of those fits of unrealized dreams and ambitions that I'm sure I've suffered from more than once, mentions that we (he or I or us, bluh bluh bluh) should pick a wrestler to write a biography about. His target of this discussion was Bobby Eaton.
Me, I sat on this issue for a while, wondering quietly to myself during rambling therapy sessions who's out there that's a wrestler or has been a wrestler who would make a compelling read. Most everyone that's got their share of interesting life stories & road tales is already tied up in contracts of some sort with WWF. And I don't think that anyone's clamoring for the real story of Lash Leroux anytime soon. Most of the TNA or ROH guys are too young to have been around enough to accumulate a backlog of entertaining stories ... well, at least that they're willing to share in more than just the ROH "Straight Shooting" DVD series.
Then it hit me ... who would I be interested in reading about?
Bam Bam Bigelow.
The guy's been everywhere since he began his career in Memphis, 1985. From the WWF to Japan to WCW to ECW, in the latter two of which he wore world championship gold; he's been in the ring with the all-time greats: Hogan, Andre, Hart, Rude, Benoit, Gordy, Windham; he's tried his hand at mixed martial arts; he co-headlined Wrestlemania 11 w/ Lawrence Taylor; he's starred in a number of movies (including "Major Payne"); and he saved children from a burning building.
The guy's probably got more insights into the business than anyone around, and he's one of the best old school tough guys in the sport's history. This would be the book to write; this would be the book to read.
Wishful thinking, yes it is. I leave this open for a discussion about who'd be worth a biography, but I stand by Bigelow as my choice. And if I ever have that one moment of motivation & clarity, that would be the biography I'd write.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Top Ten
Ok, since the blog has kinda slowed while we all have work to do, here is a simple one. Name your top ten (or top five if you are SUPER busy) songs of all time.
As usual, use the comment feature to talk about this topic and to post your list. If you feel led to talk about something else other than your top ten (or top five if you are SUPER busy), please publish a separate post.
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