An A-Z analysis of my Google search habits at work over the past 6 months

Intro: In the Google toolbar, if you start typing a search term, the first letter will call up a host of prior searches. Things were slow yesterday at work.

(Now Wikipedia-free!)

Aposematic coloring: The defensive coloration of animals that serves as a warning signal to potential predators of a species' lethality or unpalatability. Example, skunks; their distinctive black fur with white striping pattern wards off predators by the promise of a distinctive pungent attack.

Boogeyman: No, not the wrestler, the creature of myth & legend. No real definition of the boogeyman (alt: bogeyman) exists, other than he's a fictional character used to scare children into obedience.

Cherry & Bubb: Cherry & Bubb was an offshoot of Mike & Ike candy, put out on shelves from Just Born (the same people who make Peeps ... yep, those ghastly marshmallow chickens that come out on Easter). Instead of having the flavor assortment of Mike & Ikes, it had two flavors to choose from: cherry and bubble gum. I used to think these were the shit back in the day, but lo, they've been off shelves for quite some time, like the late, lamented Snickers Cruncher.

Dead pornstars: Look, sometimes, you just get curious about some things, you know? So, I punched this one up, and I think I'm still waiting to see if I'm going ot get in trouble for it. But I learned a few things. One, I learned that Tiffany Rose(she's on the pornstar background, wearing red and nestled between a brunette with an open mouth [go figure] and a chick with some serious blonde dookie braids) died in 1998 in a car accident, which makes me feel weird for looking at pics of her taking it in the cheeks. Two, a lot of pornstars died from AIDS related complications, but surprisingly more men than women. Three, there was a dude named Billy London who worked in gay films that was found dismembered in a dumpster; that's pretty fucked up.

Ebola Syndrome: An Asian film from 1996 that's hitting DVD on July 31; a mobster kills a rival, then becomes a wanted man. He goes into hiding, which leads him to Africa, where he happens upon a helpless woman dying with Ebola. He rapes her, contracts the virus, then becomes a carrier. He works in a meat factory, and any of his enemies, he cuts them up and makes them into meat patties, where his customers catch their cases of Ebola from. Something tells me this could give "Zombie Nation" a run for its money.

Freedom Force: A PC video game; a superhero action/ RPG, which predated "City of Heroes" as a near-perfect comic book homage (although CoH is more of a superhero sim). The thing I like about Freedom Force is how you have to work around the limitations of each hero - El Diablo is mildly claustrophobic, Man-Bot has to wear his iron suit to keep his powers from going wild. Pretty fun game, and should be available for about $10; the sequel, "Freedom Force vs. the 3rd Reich," is also available at fine retail locations for about $10, also.

Ghost Hunters: The Sci-Fi Channel reality show, which follows The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) as they investigate alleged hauntings in locations around the globe, searching for evidence of the paranormal. I found out that, in 2006, one of the TAPS founders, Jason Hawes, was being harassed by Barry Eckstrom, a 51 year old guy still living with his parents. Eckstrom sent emails threatening Hawes, and, when apparently he didn't get what he wanted from this avenue, he started sending emails to Hawes' TAPS female co-workers, telling them he wanted to rape and kill them. When Eckstrom started sending threats to the President in Hawes' name, that's when the law stepped in. Eckstrom is now serving 2 years in prison.

Harry Blackstone Jr: Magician. Son of Harry Blackstone, himself a renowned magician. This was back when magic was fun, before Criss Angel got his first "edgy" tattoo, and before David Blain was born with Down's Syndrome.

Inferno: As in "Dante's Inferno," the first chapter of the "Divine Comedy." This is Dante's vision of hell. This is also the piece of literature which introduced the world to the Nine Circles of Hell. Alberto Gonzales will be found in the ninth, in case anyone's looking for him in the afterlife.

Jigai: The method of suicide chosen by Japanese women; this involves the severing of the jugular vein.

Krondon: The Rondo Hatton-looking member of rap group Strong Arm Steady. Krondon has yet to release a solo album, but a full length SAS album, "Deep Hearted," is due out August 28, 2007. Krondon is mighty; his guest verses on most underground rappers' albums usually kill. Check out his rhyme, "A Million."

Lost Legends of Surf Guitar: A four disc series of unreleased and rare surf instrumentals, released by Sundazed Music. The first two volumes - "Big Noise From Waimea" and "Point Panic" - have some great tracks, like "Cemetery Stomp," "The Jester," and "Jack The Ripper." If I ever get back to making some music mixes, te first stop is an instrumental track, which will include a few of those very tracks.

Murder City Machine Guns: The next big tag team, consisting of Alx Shelley and Chris Sabin, who unfortunately are busy being fellated by the IWC. Howeeeeever, they are very good; their match vs. Bob Backlund & Jerry Lynn at TNA: Victory Road 2007, and their series with LAX (match one was online, match two was on Impact this week) are well worth watching.

Numb3rs: One of maybe an even eight television shows that I actually watch that have nothing to do with wrestling. It's like CSI for math nerds; if you thought that some of the science in CSI was a bit sketchy and probably wouldn't stand up in a court of law, then this probably ain't the show for you. Hey, it stars Judd Hirsch ("Taxi," "Dear John"), what d'ya want?

Orange Peel social club: Every so often, I like to check the calendar of events for this concert hall in Asheville, NC, to see if anything would be worth dropping a few bills and some gallons of crude to go see. Saw Jurassic 5 there a few years back ... "Aaashe-viiille!"

Phantasm: A horror film, released in 1979. This made popular those little flying silver balls with drill bits and saw blades attached. Angus Scrimm's Tall man character deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the Freddys, Jasons, and Pinheads. And here's some interesting shit: in Australia, "Fantasm" and "Fantasm Comes Again" were sex comedies that were popular Down Under. In an effort to keep fans from being (understandably) confused, the movie was retitled "The Never Dead."

Quadrilogy: As in "The Alien Quadrilogy," that box set of all four Alien films. Except there's no such word as quadrilogy; the word that means what I assume "quadrilogy" is supposed to mean, is tetralogy. There's no such thing as quality control anymore. (Right, Fergie "the Dutchess?)

Ray Gelato: Neo-swing band leader (of "The Ray Gelato Giants"), who performs in the style of Louie Prima; their best selling album, "The Men From UNCLE," is woefully out of print. Highlights worth downloading (ahem, legally of course) are "I've Got A Way With Women," "Chicky-Mo," and "Tu Vuo Fa L'Americano," for starters.

Spaghetti westerns: Not only the Clint Eastwood "Man With No Name" trilogy, but there's a whole host of great films in this genre. High on the list of movies to watch are "Strangers Gundown," "Django," and "Cutthroats Nine." In fact, the first two I mentioned are part of the "Django" series; Django is the spaghetti western's answer to Godzilla, as a character that appears in many related sequels.

Tom Noonan: Actor who portrayed Francis Dolarhyde in "Manhunter" and Frankenstein in "Monster Squad." In Rue Morgue #69, an interviewer keeps asking Noonan about his monster roles; Noonan responds by telling the interviewer that if he keeps referring to Noonan as a "monster," he'll (Noonan) hunt the interviewer down. And that's awesome; Tom Noonan, living the gimmick. Carny as fuck.

Uri Gellar: Dude bends spoons with his mind. I seem to recall that this dude was on the Arsenio Hall Show, and he was telling the audience that he could make a broken appliance or electric device work by "talking to it" through the TV. Mom held a watch up to the TV, and sure enough the watch started working again. Of course, it could have been the amount of alcohol in her system ramped up her Galvanic skin response and the impulses could have generated power that kickstarted the watch.

Video nasties: In the 1980s, video was a whole new world of cinema, but in Britain, it was largely unregulated. As a result, films that would have ordinarily been banned from the big screen were able to find their audience on the small. But the Director of Public Persecutions changed that, and the result was a legal debacle. Prosecution was brought against any video store that was found to have copies of films that made the "video nasties" list (there were 39 films that were outright banned, but as many as 75 films made the list at any time). I believe that some private collectors were charged as well. Makes you love free speech.

West Memphis Three: Basis for the documentary "Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills." Three men were accused, tried and convicted of killing three boys in West Memphis, AK. The case apparently was as botched as Brock Lesnar's Wrestlemania shooting star press, and new evidence has been presented for the accused. The victims were mutilated, and growing suspicion was levied against three men who were ultimately found guilty. Chief among the "evidence" that the community based their suspicions on were rumors of a satanist cult in the community, and the alleged perpetrators were into wicca and listened to heavy metal. "A mark is someone who believes OJ didn't do it." - Brian Pillman

Xtro: A horror/ sci-fi film released in 1983, and a video nasty. I don't know which is worse: the birth of a fully grown adult male from a human womb, or the emergence of the midget medicine man from a woman's tumor in "The Manitou?"

Yokozuna: No, not the wrestler. Yokozuna is the highest rank in sumo wrestling. Taro Akebono - the dude that wrestled Big Show at Wrestlemania 21 - is the first foreign (non-Japanese) sumo to achieve the yokozuna status. I've always been a fan of sumo wrestling, watching ESPN's late night replays of sumo tournaments; sadly, I caught some sumo wrestling a few weeks ago on one of the ESPNs (I think it was ESPN 37), and it was a tournament from 1996. That kinda sucked.

Zygodactyl: A characteristic of a bird's foot, particularly parrots. This is where the bird's foot has two toes in the front, and two toes in the back. Both sets of toes can curl around perches and branches more easily.

Science Gone Mad - Striving to make you smarter!!