Nintendo, Curry, and an Unexpected Guest

Sometimes things can get a bit wild in the 352.

I was invited to attend a party last night that was dubbed a "housewarming." It was also a going away bash for a guy I didn't know, but I'm friends with the host and his roommate, so I went. Without going into too much detail, let me hit up the basic facts before the hilarity happens.

First, I knew at most six people there. It was one of those parties where people from a lot of different circles attend and then clique off for the remainder of the function. There were people from a software company, people from a couple of different academic departments, and then the people I knew from school. People kept cycling in and out, but there were at times upwards of 35 people there (this will be important for later on)

Second, the host's mother and father were there. This guy's parties are always very well-stocked events, and his mom and dad whipped up some really good asian cuisine (of the spicy variety). That was a bit unexpected, but at first it was no big deal and they were pretty nice.

Third, there was a Nintendo Wii attached to a big screen TV. I hadn't played the Wii before (and I still haven't much), but it was a neat distraction when things got old.

So, with that out of the way, about an hour and a half into the party, I started trying to figure out the Wii. I pretty much got it to play Mario Bros. and that was about it. People are cycling in and out and a big group from one of the departments had just left, but there are still about 20 people. I notice that the going away guy has just made it in, but I keep playing the Nintendo. Maybe five minutes goes by. I die. I need a drink. So I get up and walk to the kitchen and pass a stripper who is walking from the hallway to give the guy a lapdance.

Read that last sentence again.

A party, attended by the host's mother and father, has a stripper. Giving. A. Lapdance.

I can't imagine many more situations that could be as awkward as this one was. But sure enough, the music came on and she started going to town. He was at first sitting in a computer chair in the middle of the floor, but the stripper realized that grinding on a rolling chair = pushing the guy away from you = less tips, so he was moved to the couch.

Bear in mind this guy's parents are watching. Well, the dad was watching. The mom went into the kitchen.

If we were rating the stripper on the old That Other Site rating scale, I would give her an automatic disqualification via a Mike Cooper chairshot. This girl was all sorts of nasty. Bad dye job. Looked cracked out. No salads to speak of. One person commented that she should spend some more time at the Chinese buffet.

But she didn't realize that. She had taken Paul McCartney's advice to heart and was going to do her job well (or as well as can be expected). At this point, as her top was off and she was sporting the thong (and unfortunately his shirt was off also), we noticed something quite funny.

The people were still playing Nintendo.

Despite all the commotion. Even with the loud club music. While a naked girl danced on another man's johnson, Mario was still out to rescure the princess. Photographic proof of this will be posted as soon as I get the picture from e-mail, but I will tell you that this was the most surreal site I have ever witnessed.

The host claimed that he paid $90 for her to dance for 15 minutes. I told him he got ripped off.

The whole time this was going on, new people kept coming into the party. The opened the door and were immediately greeted by a flat-chested ho and Super Mario. Some would call that an unbeatable combination I suppose. And yes, the host's father never went into the kitchen.