SGM Month of Halloween Horror Movie for Oct. 12

"Teeth" (2007)

Themes: Body horror
Synopsis (from the back of the box): Dawn is a pretty but prim high school virgin who unknowingly has a set of mutant teeth between her legs. When a supposedly likeminded boyfriend forces himself upon her, Dawn's vagina dentata start chomping. Caught between her emerging sexuality and a host of oversexed young men, including her twisted half-brother, Dawn eventually gives in to her freakish powers.

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Um, wow. Let’s just get this out of the way: Freud would have had a motherfucking field day with this film.

The reviews of this film were pretty strange at the time, and this is a point when I hadn’t even seen the film, but they lauded the film’s “subtle subtexts of female empowerment” and other shit like that. Excuse me, I’m no uppity film critic by profession, but I do know that there’s nothing subtle in a movie about a girl with teeth in her cooter. The pretensions of film critics never ceases to amaze me.

Here’s the skinny: The chick’s cute. The satire is solid. And the story is pretty well-developed, which is pretty remarkable for an indy film, a horror film, and ESPECIALLY an indy horror film, and to find an indy horror film having nothing at all to do with zombies is pretty much a blessing in its own right.

Rating: 2 1/2 count