I'm a word dork.

And part of being a word dork means that I have peculiar thoughts and observations when it comes to issues of conversational syntax. Here are two examples:

1) Reese Witherspoon is flogging her one-trick pony, "Legally Blonde," for as much money as she can. There were the two movies, and recently the Broadway musical. But there's a direct-to-cable - USA, I believe - film on the horizon called "Legally Blondes." Last time I checked, adverbs cannot modify nouns, and the "blondes" in "Legally Blondes" - two twin dumbasses - are definitely nouns. The movie gets a pass because "blonde," singular, can act as an adjective. But there's no way that "blondes" can be anything but the noun that it is. And the only way for this movie title to be remotely correct is if it were titled, "The two girls are legally blondes," and then legally can modify "are." So, fuck you, Reese Witherspoon, for contributing to the downfall of modern English language.

2) I've been noticing this next error in a number of usually reputable news outlets. Filing this under "what a difference an article makes," which film would you rather see: "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra," or "GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra?" The former is an upcoming summer blockbuster, based on the fondly remembered toy/cartoon/comic line of our youth. The latter sounds like a CGI-enhanced film the likes of which you can only catch on late night cable genre stations.

(I know these're small things, but these things do matter, because if left unchecked we end up with Fergie being a "Dutchess" (sic) and the "Syfy" (sic) channel.)