Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Crazy thought I had that equates to near-terrorism

This came up during a period of having the water cut off for two days (due to a burst pipe and not an inability to pay a bill ... although there are some months ...)

Okay, a bit of advice: Don't void ANYTHING in the toilet of a house where the water is cut off. You and everyone in the building will live to regret it.

Had a pipe burst, and while trying to salvage my professional books and other personal items (what few I've got left after selling off some items to make rent, gas, etc.), I had to pee. So, I grabbed an empty soda bottle (Mountain Dew, if you must know). Problem is, and I'm sure I'm not the only person that can relate to everything in this whole sentence ... except girls; I'm pretty sure girls can't pull off pissing in a soda bottle ... my capacity FAR exceeded the storage capabilities of my ersatz urinal. That sucked, but that's a whole other topic.

What occurred to me was the following1: What if I froze this, then took the frozen container to a place that I have a problem with ... say, a former employer who terminated me and put me in severely dire straits ... hammered a few nail holes in the bottle, and put the bottle in the mail chute of said office overnight on a Friday? 12 oz. of me hut pee starts to melt, seeps out of the bottle to greet the Monday morning shift.

Not that I would do this!!! But, sometimes you just feel better when you verbalize the crazy shit that bounces around in your brain. Keeps you healthy, I do think.

1Science Gone Mad assumes no responsibility for consequences that may arise for anyone's appropriation and attempts to put into effect any activities mentioned herein. For entertainment purposes only. Any attempts to conduct potentially dangerous/illegal behavior can and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the local state and municipal law, no matter how much fun you might think they would be to do in the first place.

1 comment:

Rev. Joshua said...

Welp, I know how the next dispute between the roommates is going to be settled.