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The Universal Scientific Truths
1) There are two kinds of people in this world: those that suck dick and those that don't. 2) Stupid people don't know they're stupid. 3) Play to get paid. 4) Somedays you get the elevator, somedays you get the shaft. 5) Never say more'n you have to. 6) Never ask a question unless you are prepared for the answer. 7) Books are fucking heavy. 8) The board is dead. 9) Titties uber alles! 10) Correlation does not imply causation. 11) The world is not enough. 12) Hook the leg.
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In more ways than one ...
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