Saturday, March 31, 2007

Wrestlemania discussion, one day before the big show

Here's the card. Who do you think's gonna win between ...

World Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs. The Undertaker

WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Hair vs. Hair
Bobby Lashley
(representing Donald Trump)
(representing Vince McMahon)
*Manager of the loser gets his head shaved

Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Edge vs. Punk vs. Booker vs. Finlay vs. Jeff & Matt Hardy vs. Ken Kennedy vs. Randy Orton

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Rob Van Dam, and the Sandman
Elijah Burke, Monty Brown, Kevin Thorn, and Matt Striker

Lumberjack Match for the Bitch's Championship
Melina vs. Ashley
* At ringside will be: All them other womens

Kane vs. the Great Khali

US Title
Chris Benoit vs. MVP

* For a point of reference, Wrestlemania III, which WWF is indirectly cramming down our throats with this pay-per-view, had twelve matches, every top wrestler was represented and the tag belts were on the line. Definite downgrade.

Throw up some comments.


Nate said...

Taker, as we've already talked about before ... sorry, Batista, just not your year, dog.

Cena, and Michaels will make him look like a million dollars by working as the heel.

Lashley will somehow win, maybe by DQ, but a win's a win, and McMahon will get his head shaved. If Trump gets his head shaved, I'll eat Tony's television.

I want Kennedy to win the MITB match. Punk has next year to do it.

The new ECW guys will beat the old ECW guys. I thought I had heard that this would be elimination rules, but I can't get any confirmation on this. Monty Brown + Wrestlemania = a happy Nate Dogg; the POOOUUUNNNCCCE-AH ... goes global, bitches. And RVD gets closer to TNA each day, where he and AJ Styles can play all day in the spot monkey cage.

The one who showed her tits will win. Gotta get something out of it. And really, Ashley ain't all that; I'd much rather see fat bottomed Micky James in the nekkid ... oh, wait, I forgot ... internet.

Kane vs. Khali desperately needs a gimmick, desperately x3. Like a chain, or a cage, or something on a pole. No, scratch the pole, but shit, something to add some spice to this mug. Big Show shoulda been facing Khali, then at least it would entertain me 'cause Wight's a big goddamn goof who has entertained me ever since he started out. This should lead to another match at the next PPV, and that one will have the gimmick.

I have a feeling we already saw this match, when Benoit beat Orlando Jordan all those times in < 60 sec. I predict this will be the downward slide of Mr. Porter.

Rev. Joshua said...

I'd say Undertaker, natch, but you never really know with the WWE. Except in Trump's case, he's not shaving his head. Also, Jake Palumbo informed me that Umaga is the guy that used to be Rosey, which I did not know. I never really put a lot of thought into it and I rarely watch wrestling these days, so I probably would have figured it out myself had I spent some time on it, but all the same it made my head explode.

Cena over Michaels. Didn't Shawn's back stop working properly once? For like five years? Did he get a new spine?

Randy Orton wins MITB, goes after Cena (but not tonight).

Why don't I watch wrestling anymore? Because of things like Chris Benoit not being in a World title picture. I hope in Triple H's first match back he blows out both knees. And then dies.

According to Wikipedia:

the Big Show is no longer under WWE contract. While looking at his entry, I noticed that he is the only person to hold the ECW, WCW and WWE World titles. So what Show should do is go to TNA with a ridiculously large title belt, like a 16' strap, 36" diameter faceplate, and bill himself as the WCWWECW champion.

Monty Brown was trained to be a wrestler by Dan Severn and Sabu. Holy shit, that's crazy. I love Sabu and all, but that's like being raised by Jeffrey Dahmer and David Berkowitz. I'm surprised Brown does anything more than suplex people and then blow moonsaults on them. Also, I don't know why anyone might have thought Vince McMahon wouldn't fuck up the ECW name and thinking about that match is making me sad.

Melina was the last person to be frogsplashed by Eddie Guerrero. You know that urban legend about how a major city's sewer systems were once overloaded during halftime of a Super Bowl because everyone went to the bathroom then? That's this match.

the Great Khalid once killed a man who took a flapjack wrong during a match. You know that urban legend about how a major city's sewer systems were once overloaded during halftime of a Super Bowl because everyone went to the bathroom then? That's this match, too.

Will said...

Mania is complete and was a relatively good show. I was not really surprised except maybe with Cena winning. He has had the belt TOO long.

I will say that a friend of mine said that Umaga used to be Rosey and yes, I believe that is true. What a way to put a guy who had nothing going for him in the ring and transform him into Umaga. Poor Jamal or whatever his partner's name was.

Did anyone watch the Hall Of Fame ceromony on USA Saturday late night? It was entertaining but I hate that it is cut and we did not see the induction of Wild Somoans, Bockwinkel, or Shiek. They will probably put the uncut version with the Mania DVD when it comes out.

It was great to see Slick and Ricky Steamboat at Mania even if it was for comedy effect. And how about Rhodes giving Steamboat props at HOF. That was cool. Rhodes put everyone but himself over during his induction which was nice even though it brought tears to the eyes of Flair and Triple H.

Wrestling DVDS I would like to see:

Best of Curt Henning
Best of Kurt Angle--which will probably not happen since he is in TNA.