Monday, May 21, 2007

SGM Super 30: Video Game #14

Ghosts 'n' Goblins

This game out-Castlevania'd Castlevania. Besides, who's a bigger villain, Dracula or Satan?

Anyway, the start of the game is nigh legendary: Your character (retroactively fitted with the name Maximo) is chilling in the woods, gettin' wit' his girl, chillin' in his drawers, when this demon from hell swoops down and scoops the chica up. The question of whether we're talking either pre- or post-coital bid'ness here before the demon makes his entrance, well that's no question at all; if you'd just gunked up a girl's funky monkey, would you waste time saving her from the devil? Hey, I got mines, I don't need the drug trip of Venus flytraps shooting shit out their mouths and zombies. So, Maximo must think this girl's got the golden cooze, 'cause he goes through Hell (literally) to save the chick.

And the worst part is, you beat the game once, you have to beat it a second time to really win the game. You ask me, Maximo, I think it's time to find another girlfriend.

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