Friday, April 16, 2010

I have a question

... while biding my time in the library computer lab looking for jobs online ...

Why is "coroner" an elected position in county government?

The hodunk-podunk shithole town I now reside in has an election coming up, and there's a sign at the end of the road - blocking almost every driver's view and causing more accidents at that stop than I've ever seen - that plainly advertises some dude running for coroner. Which is good, because the lady who died just a few days ago pulling out in front of a truck she didn't see because of said sign is gonna need one. But I digress ...

If you're going to be a coroner, why do you have to be elected? What platform do you run on; "I promise to never accidentally revive a dead person and singlehandedly begin the zombie apocalypse?" (Hm, I probably would vote for someone with a stand like that ...) And when's the coroner debate? That would be an awesome press conference. If they showed slides, that would be a VERY awesome press conference.

Coroners, from what I remember of my forensic criminology courses, don't have to be medical doctors, which means that technically I could run for this position, and I need a job. Of course, technically, the dude who walks up and down the street with a weedwhacker that I'm pretty sure isn't his ... I'm reluctant to say that he's even weedwhacking, since I've never seen said whacking of weeds taking place ... could run for coroner. He'd probably have to declare that he has no intent to use his weedwhacker on the job, and that could be the dealbreaker.

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