The comment about "My Humps," "Milkshake" and "Laffy Taffy" reminded me of this truly priceless link that I saw last week but failed to post.
http://www.thewebshite.net/nickelback.htm
This is an audio link, and I would advise you only to listen to it once or twice, or else your head might explode. It is pretty remarkable actually.
Also, did you see where the members of Nickelback had the audacity to call up the Ohio State athletic office and ask for four tickets to the OSU/UM game from a couple of weeks ago? The AD told them that he couldn't help them even if they were "John Lennon and the Beatles." There is irony in there if you stop to look for it.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Speaking of simultaneous song playing
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
"It's the Juggernaut, bitch!"
I don't know what's better ... "I'm gonna kill 'im, gonna rape 'im, gonna eat his fuckin' costume," Black Tom bragging about his pimp cane, or the X-Men team calling their spots ("Explosion DODGE~!" "Laser DODGE~!")
Monday, November 27, 2006
Speaking of comedy ...
I was waiting on my prescription at CVS, and while perusing their shoddy magazine selection, I was tempted to pick up the latest issue of "Maxim," the magazine for men who aren't allowed to have porn (I think that's their unofficial tagline).
Anyway, there's an interview with Fergie, that singer with the Black Eyed Peas who sucks. In it I found the most interesting quote:
"I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can't take that away from me, 'cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can't sing, it's kind of like insulting God."
Okay, so let me get this straight. The lady who misspelled the title of her own album (it's "Duchess" ... douche*), and pissed on herself while on stage, is now passing the blame for her shitty talent to God?!
Wow, that ho's got some balls.
*Unless it's a tribute to Dutchess county in New York. Which I doubt.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Random comedy thought
Lewis Black & Ron White should seriously go on a stand-up tour. Don't know what they'd call it, though.
And now for some tales from Black Friday
Anyone find themselves out on this, the second busiest shopping day of the year?
Not me; had to be on call, went out on the same shithead three times already, and I'm hoping against hope that I'm done staring at his ugly mug.
Hope ya'll's day was better than mine.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving, f'rilla!
Here's hoping y'all have bountiful feasts tomorrow.
And if you guys are out on the Friday shopping festivities, holy shit, man, go in swinging. Bitches fist-fight for pants in Wal-Mart in the Cackalacka due south.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
So what are you reading these days?
Back in the 423 for Thanksgiving. Made my annual trek to the Fort Henry Mall where I saw Brent and Flea. Hilarity did not ensue. Didn't bring my playstation this time, so I've been trying to catch up on some reading. That lead's me to the topic of this post....what are you reading these days?
For me, I have two things brewing. I am currently reading John Leland's _A History of Hip_ (I think that is the exact title....it has all those words in it, but it might be Hip: A History). I'm not totally sold on it yet. Lot's of generalizations, but an interesting arrangement of chapters. He does move well through his topics though. I for one did not know that Ernest Hemingway estimated Gertrude Stein's breasts at "ten pounds per."
I'm also looking at a document reader by Steven J. Ross about Movies in America. I'm trying to talk the History dept. into letting me teach American Popular Culture Since 1900 for Spring semester. This means I may finally get to do my lecture on NWA Russians and the Cold War.
Prior to that it was _The Right Moment_, a book about Reagan's election to the California Governorship. My class had to read it so I figured I should at least know what it was about before I graded their papers.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Yeah, I see you, bitches.
Just so's y'all know, this thing might be eligible soon for that Beta Blocker thing on this little "Scientifical Going Made" ya'll made. It's got more gobbledy goo & less naked booty ass bitches wit the jello booties (ya'll KNOW I'm a jello fellow).
So keep an eye out like Peter Falk for any changes to ya'lls accounts. 'Cuz I wants to see some categorizing on this thing one day 'for I die.
Now, ya'll keep writing shit.
Monday, November 20, 2006
No, what's "cosmo" is Michael Richards' better judgment
"The camera started rolling just as [Michael] Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, 'Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.'" [more]
I can only hope he did a Kramer entrance before and after the set.
Sick Day Double Feature
Demons (1985)
Dir: Umberto Bava
Starring: Actors & actresses so obscure, their own parents probably haven't heard of them
There are a few obscurities about film that I really enjoy, and among those are the film-within-a-film concept, where actions in the movie are dictated either by the creation of a film in the storyline, or by the impact of a film on the acting crew. Examples of this are Popcorn (one of my favorites), Wes Craven's New Nightmare, and Living In Oblivion.
"Demons" is one of these films, and trust me, it's just balls to the wall fun to watch. People on the street are given free tickets to a movie by a guy in a metal half-mask. When they attend the movie, they find that the activities in the horror movie on the screen are reflected in the theater in real life. The actors are all likable; true to attending a real movie in the theater, the characters represent all walks of life, from schoolgirls to drug addicts, to a pimp, to a blind guy & his daughter.
The demons are nasty, oozing, spewing, clawing beasts that transform and erupt from the inflicted wounds of victims (think of Romero's ideas about zombie reproduction). Gore is plentiful, and, while I consider myself a horror movie fan to the point that some scares and jolts don't affect me, "Demons" produces moments of genuine unease. Admittedly, the ending comes out of nowhere, but it doesn't disappoint. There were a couple of sequels to this, but I've read some bad things about them.
Oh, and the '80s metal soundtrack ... anything with Rick Springfield, Billy Idol, and Motley Crue is just icing, man. Just icing.
Fearless Fighters (1973)
Dir: Wu Ming Hsiung
Starring: Yee Yuan, Chiang Ming, Chang Ching Ching (I'm not making that up), Wu Ming Shia, Chen Hung Lieh
Starting off with some magnificent displays of martial artistry, "Fearless Fighters" doesn't let up when it comes to action. I've watched enough kung-fu movies to know a thing or two about the components that make for good martial arts cinema, and this film delivers in spades.
Dubbing is high quality. Nigh-impossible feats of superhumanity are on display in almost every scene. The story is coherent and well-paced, often a rarity for films like this. And as far as characters go, Lei Pong is just as mighty as the Master of the Flying Guillotine, Pai Mei, and a stackful of Deadly Venoms.
Yee Yuan plays Lei Pong as the conflicted leader of the Eagle Clan; his brothers have become common thieves, and when they steal the government gold shipment from the emmisary Lightning Whip, Pong's hand is forced and he must turn against his brothers. Accompanying him are Lightning Whip's children, left behind after his death to avenge him. The denouement of the film comes only after we're introduced to a dizzying array of different weapons and styles, including the Solar Ray, the Devil Razors, and the Twin Sparrows.
Mark my words: I fancy myself an admirer and amateur collector of swords, but until I get one of those swords with the rings along the top of the blade, I ain't shit.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
TNA: Genesis (or, Angle/Joe & a couple of other matches)
I picked up the TNA ppv tonight, sort of a get-well present for myself (sick, *cough,cough*).
A very schizo card; you had some solidly laid out matches, with a decent storyline (Sabin/Daniels, AMW/LAX, Christian/Styles), requisite filler matches (Paparazzi/Killings & Hoyt, VKM nee New Age Outlaws/Kazarian, Bentley & Devine, Naturals/Dutt & Lethal), an ... interesting World title match (Abyss/Sting), and then ... the money match ... Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe.
If I was still doing the "What Worked/ What Sucked" TNA match analyses like I used to do for That Other SiteTM, this is how the score card would read1:
Voodoo Kin Mafia (BG James & Kip James) d. Frankie Kazarian, Matt Bentley & Johnny Devine
What worked: Really? Nothing. No, seriously; absolutely nothing. Everyone involved in making the New Age Outlaws over should hang their head in abject shame.
What sucked: Billy Gunn's ode to the competition, with his Pedigree & Sweet Chin Music setup, only to pull back at the last minute, successfully looking more like a tard than when he was wearing pigtails.
Star of the match: The referee; the ol' Road Dogg tried a kip-up, but landed flat on his ass, so he actually initiated the ref's assistance in completing this incredible offensive maneuver.
The count: 1 count
The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) d. Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal
What worked: The chemistry between Dutt & Lethal is pretty fine-tuned, for a team that's just thrown together for the purposes of losing.
What sucked: Jerry Lynn would have made a nice addition to ringside, to counter Shane Douglas. And why not push some sort of pseudo-familial relationship between Andy and Shane? I mean, shit, the James Gang ain't family, but that doesn't stop them.
Star of the match: Jay Lethal; I'm digging his style all the way through the ROH 2004 DVD collection, and he shined bright in this match.
The count: 2 count
X Title: Christopher Daniels (c) d. Chris Sabin
What worked: Daniels falls out of the ring, makes this oddly perfect angel shape with his back sweat against the padded floor. It fits his cultish, reverend-like character.
What sucked: Nothing of major note. Kinda sucked there was no Angel's Wings finisher, but that's made up for the lack of a quick rollup pin.
Star of the match: Jerry Lynn, partiarch of the X Division. He gets in the face of Sabin and demands he take his loss like a man. If this doesn't yield an eventual Lynn/Sabin FIGHT FOR RESPECT, then I'll be sorely disappointed.
The count: 2 & 3/4.
Ron Killings/Lance Hoyt d. The Paparazzi (Alyx Shelly/ Austin Starr)
What worked: The ongoing beef betwixt Shelly & Starr made the match more interesting than it ever should have been.
What sucked: Lance Hoyt; him and his moonsault and his jizz target tattoo (Nash almost called him out on that during the match). Lance Hoyt < Elix Skipper; shame that TNA didn't follow through with that Killings/Skipper team that they hinted at about 3 weeks ago. That would have made a much better match.
Star of the match: Kevin Nash; he should seriously consider a shift to commentary, and I'll watch TNA until the day one of us dies.
The count: 2 count
Christian Cage d. AJ Styles
What worked: Can't really put my finger on it ... the match was just very well-paced, and the two were evenly matched.
What sucked: Rhino playing house therapist at the end to keep Daniels and Styles' marriage together.
Star of the match: Christian; he got the win, and hopefully will come back and get that rematch for a belt he never lost.
The count: 2 & 3/4 count; I personally liked this match.
NWA Tag Team Title: LAX (Homicide/Hernandez) d. AMW (James Storm/Chris Harris)
What worked: LAX getting the duke works for me. Plus, the possiblity that we'll see the Battle of the Sick Xenophobic Finishers (Petey Williams' Canadian Destroyer vs. Homicide's Gringo Killer).
What sucked: How Storm & Harris suddenly got on the same page after the past several weeks of miscommunication is pretty lazy.
Star of the match: Hernandez. That motherfucker is a HOSS~! He's not too terribly stiff (in the bad, Bill Kazmeier way), but he's stiff where he needs to be (in the Lesnar, powerhouse throwing bitches around way).
The count: 2 & 1/2; the ending was god-awful (LAX wins the match, but gets stripped of the tag titles ... I agree with the crowd: "Bull ... shit!" They should have just gone ahead and burned the flag anyway.)
NWA World Title: Abyss d. Sting (c)
What worked: Sting ATE THE TACKS~! I was pretty impressed with that.
What sucked: The abominably long set-up for Sting to hang Abyss upside down by his feet. And the payoff - repeated chairshots - just wasn't worth it.
Star of the match: That growth on Abyss' left side. Man, when Sting hung him up by his feet and Abyss' shirt revealed his conjoined twin myslexia, even the cameraman was trying to get an answer there.
The count: 2 & 1/2; even though the ending sucked nuts (Sting losing the belt to Abyss via DQ)
Kurt Angle d. Samoa Joe
What worked: Kurt Angle's entrance music is pretty fucking wicked. Also, Joe has the potential to be Angle's TNA Benoit; we'll see where that goes.
What sucked: The fact that they pissed on Sting as NWA champion, so now Angle can chase Abyss (who he just defeated last Thursday), instead of chasing another money match for Turning Point, versus Sting.
Star of the match: Samoa Joe. He started strong against Angle. He made the Olympic hero bleed buckets, almost choked him out, and gave Kurt respect for his win. Plus, he said "goddamn" on the live arena mic and made the announcers issue a quick apology for how "intense" Joe was just then.
The count: 2 & 3/4 count; it almost did the job.
1 The following assumes that you've been watching a healthy dose of TNA for the past 6 weeks. Just warning you.
Friday, November 17, 2006
An interesting article on why HD-DVD & Blu Ray suck
The movie studios and electronics manufacturers think—wrongly—these new high-def formats will extend the market for home-entertainment media indefinitely. Both formats will fail, not because consumers are wary of a format war in which they could back the losing team, a la Betamax. Universal players that support both flavors of HD should appear early next year. No, the new formats are doomed because shiny little discs will soon be history. Here are four reasons why. [more]
Yay on one hand, "oh shit, Big Brother is out to get me" on the other. The odds on me being a 7o+ yr old hermit, living in my dark shack, watching "Five Deadly Venoms" for 18th time on my DVD player, which would by this time be running off of a complicated system of belts and pulleys and gerbils, a la the Flintstones, have just jumped up a bit.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
PS3 launch sees multiple thefts
PS3 launches tomorrow, don't'cha know?
"Elk Grove police responded by notifying local retailers and nearby police departments of the theft, and advising those lining up for the system not to do so alone, and not to bring cash. [more]
Now, here's the question I have, and I've had it ever since Elian Gonzalez was in this country: Don't these people have fucking jobs??
Seriously, I think that what's really fucking up our economy is people having nothing better to do than:
a) Protest stupid shit that has nothing to do with them.
One story that came out of the Elian Gonzalez mishap from lo those many years ago was a Tennessee school teacher who made the trip all the way to Florida - during school sessions - to protest the return of Gonzalez to his native Cuba. Similar incidences have occurred with the Tookie Williams death penalty protest, and government issues too numerous to go into here.
b) Wait in line for stupid shit that isn't worth looking like a homeless person.
Star Wars installments. PS3s. Harry Potter books. You dumbasses oughta know by now that these things will stick around ... getting the first one doesn't mean you're in some exclusive little club. You know, those dumbasses that got those first PS2s ... they paid the full price for 'em. Ha ha, I waited a year and a half, got one for $100 less. DUMB. ASSES. There's a reason why patience is a virtue. You get the same damn thing, only you waited until all those fucking tools got out of the shed.
ATTN: America standing in line for the PS3
No, seriously, go home & take a shower. Go to work. Earn your paycheck. I promise that the little gaming box will be there when you get back. Hey, better idea. Wait a year for your precious Playstation 3, that way it might go down in price from its inexplicable $499 price tag (for a BASIC system). Haven't you ever heard of delayed gratification? Of course not; that's why Amer'ca has so many smokers and so many pedophiles.
Anyone standing in fucking line to spend that much money, hell, you just might deserve to be robbed. Not shot or killed, but at least have your shit jacked. You have too much money, and some stupid people should just be shook for their ends. If I stood in line for that long, to spend that much money, the PS3 should cook me breakfast every morning ("I said sunny side UP, numb nuts!") and let me call it "bitch" in public, and definitely clean the cat's litter every day (and clip that little fucker's claws too, those things are unruly) and tell me every morning before I go to work that my dick is a foot bigger than it really is.
Really, the more I see of the PS3, the less I want one. Actually, the less I want any of the new systems anymore, with their motion-sensitive control & their virtual-realistic graphics. Games have become pretentious, made more so by dumbass correspondence schooled computer shitasses who try really hard to convince themselves that they're doing something important in the world.
Now, the best part of all of this? For all that damn money you'd spend on the PS3, tomorrow, you'd be able to buy, right now on ebay, the following:
1 Sega Genesis
1 Original Nintendo Entertainment System
1 Commodore 64 system
1 Super Nintendo
1 Playstation One
... and a HUGE library of fantastic games for all five systems.
Oh, but then you wouldn't get your precious Blu-Ray compatability, would you? Oh, don't even lean against THAT button ... damn ... I just got so pissed off I swear it tastes like I have a mouthful of pennies. I just might need to lay down.
This message has been brought to you by Nate's pending stroke. Get it while it's hot ... after the fall, it's going to be all "me talk pretty one day" on here.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Pizza Hut & Jake Palumbo
I'm sitting here, watching "King Of The Hill," and during the break a Pizza Hut commercial comes on, and I swear I've heard the beat during the pitch before. So, I go to the Jake Palumbo Myspace spot, and sure enough, there it is ... on the track "Burt Reynolds." Which now begs the question, where's the beat from, really?
Monday, November 13, 2006
Deep Discount DVD 20% off sale news
They run one of these every November, and every summer. This one's good through Nov. 18th.
Use one of the promotional codes below in the appropriate spot on checkout. Each code works for the whole order, but each code can only be used once per order.
DVDTALK
USATODAY
NYTIMES
SUPERSALE
DDDCD
DD1110
DVDPRICESEARCH
LATIMES
ESPN
YAHOO
JIM
WGN
XM
I know Will is a big fan of Deep Discount DVD (link available in the pull down menu on the right of the blog), as am I. So, if you guys are in the mood to snag some films for self or for Christmas gifts, now's a great time. They're a great company, with some of the lowest prices, as well as no-minimum FREE shipping.
One favor though: If you participate in the sale, post your purchase in the "Comments." I'm curious what other people are interested in, filmwise. I have to narrow down a big wishlist, myself.
Nate out.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Jack Palance - Dead @ 87
"Jack, it's an important job. I need someone I can trust. And you ... are my number one ... guy."
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Pro Wrestling Tribond
"What do the following three things have in common?"
- Ultimate Warrior
Roddy Piper
Brock Lesnar - Bret Hart
Chris Benoit
Booker T - The letter L
The letter N
The letter B - 2 Cold Scorpio
Scotty Riggs
The Patriot - Beck
Chris Vaughn
Elliot Wilhelm - Jimmy Garvin
Bobby Eaton
Steve McMichael - Jim Perras
Scott Simpson
Barry Darsow - Ted Petty
Chris Candido
Jeff Peterson - Raven
Kane
Dean Malenko - Con-chair-to
Arabian Facebuster
Van Daminator
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Southernfried Wrestling Poo- I mean News.
Have you guys seen the deformed background? What the hell is that thing? IS that board just pretty much done?
Anyway, I saw the Playboy with Cindy Margolis. Very nice I must say especially since she is 40.
Does anybody else not give to squirts of piss about Kevin Federline wrestling Cena on New Years. I mean I guess in the tradition of WCW, WWE is having Celebs (loose term) fight on their show. Remember Jay Leno on WCW.
Man, the good ole days!
So, I hear "Nip/Tuck" is still on TV
To the tune of four seasons, too...
And I've gotta be honest, my hopes aren't too awfully high for "Dirt."
See, shitty television! As long as FX has something to say about it, there is hope for you, after all!
So, didja vote? Huh, huh?
I didn't.
Didn't get the chance to, because of work & my voting district still being in Greenwood, which is about 20min away. By the time I'd have gotten to the polls, they'd have been closed.
I'm generally satisfied with how everything went, overall. I just hope those ho-mo-sextials don't try some other crazy ass thing ... first the army, now the marriage deal; slow it down, you crazy fairies! Next thing you know, you'll want to vote, too.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Hey, since Wikipedia is such a trustworthy source for accurate information ...
Dateline: Washington - The U.S. intelligence community Tuesday unveiled its own secretive version of Wikipedia, saying the popular online encyclopedia format known for its openness is key to the future of American espionage.[more]
... as we continue to come closer and closer to being a 3rd world country.
I guess a better joke would be to make some remark that this is coming from the "U.S. intelligence community," but I think that would be redundant.
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