It’s been a long time comin’, but it’s finally here.
Independent rap music provides a lot of hit-or-miss prospects. Sometimes you can strike oil at $4 a gallon, and sometimes you strike the septic tank. Truthfully, though, we’ve moved far away from the times when an emcee had to hustle his product on mixtapes sold out of his car trunk following a near-sold out show at the local college venue. Technology has forced us into an era when anyone with a hard drive, a Mr. Microphone, and a copy of Audacity can be the greatest rapper Myspace has ever seen. In this transitional phase, between hard copy cassettes and CDs with obtuse liner notes and hooks stolen from Stevie Wonder’s “Songs in the Key of Life” using a Numark and the high market sampler from two years ago, and lyrics about Dungeons & Dragons and stormtroopers laced on top of a cut-and-paste beat available for download at Sharebee.com, sits Tennessee’s son Jake Palumbo.
Don’t go thinking I’ll give Jake a nod just because Science Gone Mad got props in the liner notes of “District Selectman,” either. Hell, I loved “Future Dead Rapper” when it debuted, but that was 2003, and I was uncertain how the years leading up to 2007 had treated Mr. a/k/a Jesco White. After all, the innovations in music production since 2003 had evolved considerably, as well as the competition. Jake himself, in an online soliloquy, makes note of this when discussing Nas’ “Hip Hop is Dead” release; simply put, there can be such a thing as too many emcees.
Jake’s style is hard to describe. He wears his many influences on his sleeve, and he fills his rhymes with elements that are at the same time innovative in their presentation and comfortable in their familiarity. This statement by no means should be interpreted to imply that Jake’s music is cookie-cutter, by any means. If you gotta have a comparative analysis, look at Jake as a hybrid of RA The Rugged Man, filtered through the boom bap of the mid-to-late ‘80s, with a hearty reverence for the styles of the booming ‘90s.
One of the marks of an emcee is how they come across as individuals, i.e. the man behind the pseudonym. When they’re cutting their promos, are they bragging about their body counts or rides, or do they come across as genuine individuals? Having known Jake solely through internet interactions, the random interviews here and there, his journaling about thoughts on his industry, and his sporadic Youtube confessionals, Jake the man is someone dedicated to his art; at any point, I’m certain he could blow you away with his knowledge on all corners of hip-hop phenomena, from beats, hooks, lyrics, punchlines, the history of rap, the grandfathers, the godfathers, the fathers and the bastard sons, east coast vs. west coast, gangsta vs. Dirty South, the four elements, best tech equipment for the money, and how to develop a “perfect” live show. Where most “artists” would come across as haughty at best, Jake stuns you with an affable manner that belies the asylum inmate that he may project in his music. And Palumbo the rapper is just as approachable as the music he creates.
Ah, yeah … the music. Immediately, “Burt Reynolds” comes to mind as easily one of the best tracks of any and all rap singles, remixes, or edits I’ve ever heard. I’d wager that you can’t listen to that one track and not be at least curious as to what other work lies behind that piece. When you dig deeper, trust me when I say you won’t be hurt. And while there’s easily tons of great tracks on this album – “The Closer,” “Jungle Rot,” and “Shoot Interview” (which I played at work and inspired one of my clients to take the chorus home … yes, the mentally ill singing “I think I’m gonna di-iiiiiie … ‘cause I know how it should be-eeee …” … that was my work). Shit, even the skits – skits being notoriously the weakest part of rap albums - are on point (if you can’t find love for the landlord call-in, you have no soul). If you buy the “weakest link” theory – that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link – even the weakest link on “Selectman” makes the album a pretty strong chain indeed.
While discussing the content of “Selectman,” I can’t overlook the guest stars. Yes, we acknowledge the superior input of Royce the 5’9”, submitting a verse that he could have easily phoned in – as some contributors on other indy joints have done – but he kills his part on “Imperial Hubris,” ratcheting up that track to heretofore unheard of heights. The “superstar” guest aside, his contribution is practically eclipsed by the presence of the rest of the SpaceLAB Conglomerate. Ollie Ox, Jak D, et al smoke the lyrics that they collab on; hell, stick around after the inauguration speech on the last track and you’ll be treated by a posse track that is incredible. Just strictly incredible.
Star ratings, thumbs and pinfall counts just don’t apply in summing how solid this album is. Simply put, “District Selectman” is, to borrow a favorite line from Celph Titled, off the hook, the map, the meat rack, and the fucking radar.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Review of Jake Palumbo’s “District Selectman”
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
Been listening to this all week, for some reason ...
"Once in a Lifetime" - Talking Heads
One of the first groundbreaking videos of MTV's history ... David Byrne in that big ass suit. Plus, we sing the refrain at work, on an almost daily basis ... "same as it ever was, same as it ever was."
It's been a hell of a week, so I am allowed some cyncism.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Worst name for a product ever
They advertise this on TV up here. Makes me want to throw things through the TV when it comes on.
Click here, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Life in the Big City
No, not New York.
As you may or may not know (or may or may not care), my better half lives in Philadelphia, where she is completing a year-long requirement for her doctorate. As such, I have been spending a fair amount of time up here while school is out. The people here are a bit, how do you say, different.
Last night we went to Target to pick up some cereal and milk because we were about to run out of those necessary breakfast supplies. We had stopped at Chipotle (hooray burritos!) ahead of time and Target is in the parking lot so it was quicker than driving back down City Ave. to SuperFresh. So we go in and hilarity ensues.
First off, for whatever reason, Target is now selling a line of David Hasselhoff birthday cards. These are not cards that you send to David Hasselhoff on his birthday, but rather cards that you send to your (soon to be ex) friends on their birthdays. They had pictures of Hasselhoff in a pool holing one of those lifeguard thingees from Baywatch, one of him climbing a mountain, and a few shots of him from the 1980s. There were about 8 different ones. They included such lines as (paraphrasing) "It is bad to get hassled on your birthday. You just got Hassle-hoffed on your birthday," and "You are much cooler than David Hasselhoff, even though you don't have a German fan base that thinks you are a god," and so on. The absolute shocker was that they appeared to have sold some.
Sidebar: Why is it that now that companies sell cards that play music, everyone in the store has to come over and open the cards to hear the music? Haven't you heard "Who Let the Dogs Out" before? I was at Books A Million trying to enjoy a free read when and this old bitty decided to open every musical card they had twice. Does it really sound different when it comes out of a greeting card? Now if they could put "Who Let the Dogs Out" in a Hasselhoff card, I might buy that.
So we get through the store and do the obligatory looking for other things we might need and we make it back to the front with our box of cereal and our gallon of milk. At this point, out of 24 register stands exactly 6 are open. There are people lined up all the way back to the jewelry counter. You have families with buggies full of stuff, hipsters with one or two things, just the whole mix of people taking advantage of their local retail outlet. We navigate through and find a short(ish) line and we're surrounded by people buying every consumer good imaginable. It is just an economic stimulus paradise and we are almost to the front of the line.
Then, at that very moment when we realized that we were about to be free from Target, a New Jersey Meatball woman gets in line behind us. Others on here can probably relate to the type. Ugly blonde hair with her roots dyed brown, horrendously crappy sportswear to go with her horrendously crappy non-athletic body, and more make up than a Sephora regional warehouse. She sets down her Panasonic telephone and two maroon linen goods of some sort.
Now, I have pretty much gained a tolerance to new Jersey Meatballs ever since a flight from Tampa to Philly in which an entire herd of them were flying back from a wedding. Those people were fat, loud, obnoxious, and made we want to get picked up for air rage when they wouldn't shut up on the plane. The mother was having the best time ridiculing her atrociously overweight daughter about the latter's ill-advised attempt to pick up one of the catering staff at the reception. Ever since that flight, I can handle them in small doses.
When this woman gets in line and sets her stuff down, she feels led to comment on our purchase, not unlike I am doing here but in a more inappropriate fashion. The first thing she says, in that annoying New Jersey Meatball voice, is "Are you dying for cereal?" When we ignore her, because really what can you say to that, she makes it a point to speak more loudly and says "ARE YOU DYING FOR CEREAL?"
I have spent three days ruminating on this and other oddities, and I for the life of me cannot figure out what that means. Were we willing to brave a long line and a poorly staffed store to buy cereal? Well, we needed something to eat I suppose, but what business is it of yours? What did she think we would honestly say to that? "Yes maam, I am willing to give my one life which I may lead in order to procure a box of Oatmeal Raisin Crisp?" I wish in hindsight I had said that.
The fiance gives her a polite-but-annoyed-and-unsure-of-what-to-think smile and turns away from her and looks at me with a "What the Hell?" face. I normally am not one to shy away from sarcastic remarks but I have never been able to shake the feeling that all New Jersey Meatballs are in some way connected to Tony Soprano and I don't want to get knocked off before I leave, so I just bit my tongue. In what had to be the most awkward two minutes I have ever spent at a Target, we bought our goods and left.
Moral of the story: Are you dying for cereal?
Science Gone Mad Audio eXchange
FINALLY Fatboy Slim put out the 93-minute remix of Kid Rock's "Cowboy." For Chrissakes, how long were you going to make me wait?
If that were to ever actually happen, I'm killing Fatboy Slim, Kid Rock, all of you, and then myself.
Today's audio sample of choice is
Bob James - Nautilus
This song shows up from time to time on various "Greatest Samples Of All Time" lists from various hip-hop media. And it has been sampled countless times, from Eric B and Rakim's "Let The Rhythm Hit 'Em" and Slick Rick's "Children's Story", Pete Rock has used it numerous times, etc etc. My favorite use of "Nautilus" would have to be Ghostface Killah's "Daytona 500", which RZA is able to isolate just the guitar, which is conveniently panned to the left for easy sampling.
However it dawned on me about a year ago that for all the songs I'd heard that sampled "Nautilus", I'd not actually listened to "Nautilus." So I downloaded it, and damn if it hasn't been in my playlist on the regular ever since. I don't know if you guys like instrumentals as much as I do, or smooth jazz or whatever you wanna call this, but this is one dope, really chill song. I find the combo of wine, greenery, and "Nautilus" makes for a relaxing time.
Since then I've researched the music of Bob James a little more, and not only does he have like 17 albums (not including the successful Fourplay project with Chick Corea), but he's responsible for ANOTHER classic sample, his song "Take Me To The Mardi Gras" is best recognized as the bell-heavy breakbeat to Run-D.M.C.'s "Peter Piper", LL Cool J's "Rock The Bells" and others.
While record digging in Knoxville back in May, I picked up Bob James Touchdown LP for the princely sum of $2. Assuming it might have good sample material, I was also surprised to find out that the opening song "Angela" was in fact the theme song to TAXI.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
I wanted to do a daily feature but wind out of my sails and all that. This is going to be a three-fer and then I'll get the backgrounds and whatnot back to normal in a day or two.
George Carlin's earliest material from the early and middle 60s was very, very mainstream. It was funny, no doubt, with classic bits like the dippy weather man and the overenthusiastic disc jockey and observations on the general absurdity of life, but it was as straightforward as you can get. 1966's Take-Offs and Put-Ons was good, but far from where Carlin would end-up.
What Am I Doing In New Jersey, Carlin's 1988 offering, when he first truly brought the hammer down on a failed society. Strange thoughts and amusing observations had mutated into a quiet fury against criminal politicians and stupid, stupid people. This was just about the peak, completely funny and just the right amount of angry.
You Are All Diseased from 1999 was Carlin's last great special, by which point he had become a complete raging fury against pretty much everything yet still put a great amount of humor into it.
Later specials, "Complaints and Greivances," "Life is Worth Losing," and "It's Bad for Ya" were considerably angrier, with Carlin often dropping the humor in favor of telling you exactly how badly something sucked. Even at his most misanthropic, though, it was never a waste of your time. Unless, of course, you were on the receiving end. But then, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Another song to download
Yes - Coldplay
Its the best track off of the new album. Not as good as "Clocks" by a long shot, but still better than anything produced by Kid Rock in this lifetime.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
My Encounter With A MySpace Celebrity
I'm at work, and my employers appear to be going bankrupt, so I'm trying to spend more of my workday on creative writing, and less on actual work. Here's today's result:
The MySpace Celebrity
As a New Yorker, it goes without saying I bump into celebrities from time to time. Also, my day job is located in DUMBO, Brooklyn which has become the new haven for "on-location" shooting. When I first got the job there, I thought it was cool there were movie or TV trailers and crews coming through every few weeks. As it becomes more and more frequent, I'm finding it more and more irritating stepping through entire blocks of trucks, rigs, and shithead interns to try and get my coffee of a morning.
Anyway, not to get off topic: celebrities.
They were filming an episode of Rescue Me on the block in front of our office. As a result, I saw Dennis Leary today. However, shortly after I bumped into a celebrity that was of greater intrigue to me...a MySpace Celebrity.
What is a MySpace Celebrity? Well, as per my definition, it's a person who you know of strictly through the world wide web, but since you don't communicate as friends or acquaintances, there remains an air of intrigue. Has this happened to any of you?
We're all aware of the power of the world wide web to enlarge one's stature, and how Average Joe's and Jane's can be made to appear larger-than-life (or at least larger than they are in real life) with the right presentation. Shortly after I first started up the Jake Palumbo MySpace about two years ago, I added this girl from Brooklyn. I added her mainly because:
a) she was really hot, and
b) she seemed to be a big enthusiast for underground hip-hop.
I was also intrigued that she appeared to have posed for a website that focused on nude and semi-nude girls with tattoos and a "counter-culture" look. I figured worst case I could at least try to pimp my music or myself to her from behind the safety of a computer screen. She had the look of a girl who probably has a wide choice of hipster men to date.
Well, in all that time since becoming cyber-friends, we've not spoken a word to each other, outside of possibly a "Thanks For The Add" on one of our parts. I didn't know her from Adam, most hot girls have creepy stalker dude's bothering them anyway, and her page had a statement about how she doesn't date musicians or emcees, so I conceded that we would never meet, and she was relegated to The Stroke Files (we all know MySpace is beginning to render porn obsolete), and only thought of sporadically. Although a year or so ago I did randomly surf into her page and she'd mentioned landing a job at a well known hip-hop company (known for rejecting Jake's demo twice) who's offices I always forget are just a few blocks from mine.
Today, after seeing a 700-lb. hunk of metal dropped on the windshield of a Ford in a shoot for Rescue Me, I went into the grocery/deli I frequent to get lunch. As I'm in line to pay for my veggie burger. I get a weird tremor in The Force and turn around only to see a girl standing behind me whose tattoos look familiar. I did a double-take and realized it was her. Thinking I was crazy, I stood for a second while she and the metro-sexual hipster boy she was with had a discussion. Using "context clues" (thanks, 5th grade) I was able to deduce they were talking about the well known hip-hop company located in our neighborhood, of which I recall her working for. Realizing this, I was semi-star-struck, since I'd seen her photos (both professional and amateur) numerous times and wanted to holla but didn't...at the same time, seeing that she was barely 5 feet tall, as well as paying for part of her lunch with change, made me realize that it was largely the internet and it's power of presentation that had gotten me so gassed up about this girl's stature. She was in real life just a girl, nothing more, nothing less, albeit a hot one with an ultra-hip job.
My initial reaction upon this mental liberation, was to turn around and say:
"Hey, I know you, you're L*** ***, we're friends on MySpace. Your pictures are really nice. Now that I realize you're not a celebrity I should be intimidated by, I think you would greatly enjoy my rugged looks, scathing wit and sardonic sense of humor, cutting-edge music, vast pool of knowledge, and staggering sexual prowess, combined with my blue-collar Southern values. I suddenly feel qualified to date you, and it's very liberating to know that you're not as glamorously amazing as I'd assumed on the internet."
But then folks, I'm pretty sure that would have resulted in:
a) her being freaked the fuck out and
b) me being escorted out of BridgeFresh.
Having to accept defeat, I went and ate my veggie burger and pooped it out about an hour and a half later.
The End.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
When I was around the age of 13, Dad handed me his copy of George Carlin's "Toledo Window Box" and said that he thought I might like listening to it. I enjoyed stand up comedy and I was getting into that rebellious phase that teenagers inevitably go through; Dad probably discovered Carlin as part of the counter-culture of the mid-to-late 70s and even though I wasn't close to that part of my life yet, it was probably a prescient suggestion.
This album comes after his transition from traditional mainstream comedy to counter-culture herald, but before he had turned into a hilariously raging fury against a fucked up world. Drugs, farts, snot, wordplay, more farts, urinals, and a brief foray into religious kookery...classic Carlin.
Download it here.
"Here are words that no one has ever said before: please saw my legs off. Hand me that piano." I still laugh at "hand me that piano" and I always will.
Fuck, shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits: farewell, Mr. Carlin
George Carlin passed away Sunday of heart failure at age 71.
Carlin was a hero and an inspiration to me in shaping my worldview both in my formative adolescent years and continuing into adulthood. His ability to cut through the bullshit while making you laugh until your throat hurt was unparalleled. Taken as a whole, his work is the finest American philosophy and the pinnacle of stand-up comedy. Fuck anyone who says different.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Video for the upcoming "TNA Impact!" video game
The game doesn't look half bad ... the interesting thing about this video, however, is that the hands-on gameplay - a sample match between AJ Styles & Samoa Joe - is narrated by AJ Styles & Samoa Joe. And it's pretty hilarious; I was waiting for "You know how I know you're gay?" to break out at some point.
Quote to live by:
"That's why I squat 400 pounds, so I can monkey flip guys like you." - AJ Styles
2008 College Football Discussion!!!
Well it's that time of year again. The Cincinnati Reds are in the midst of their annual "Rip Buck's heart out of his chest, last place sputter-fuck of a season." And while I do enjoy Yankee baseball, Jason Giambi's moustache just creeps me out....So let's talk college football!
[I was in the airport the other day and I purchased Athlon Sports 2008 College Football Preview mag. Here's the rundown of their pre-season top ten. Just figured I'd throw my two cents in and also see what you guys have to say about the list. I know, I know. Preseason doesn't really mean jack squat, but it's always fun to speculate!
1. Florida-Well you've got the first Sophomore Heisman trophy winner coming back for his encore performance. I think this ranking is a bit lofty, or at least it will be once Tim Tebow's triple duties as QB, Runningback and Fullback land him in the Emergency Room. Plus the SEC tends to cannibalize itself so this ranking won't last very long.
2. Ohio State-I think if you wanted to seriously talk National Title with Jim Tressel at the beginning of last season, he would have pointed to this one as the year they made their run. They've got 18 starters returning. Maybe the best LB in the country in Road Warrior Animal's son, and a serious Heisman contender in the man-child Chris Wells. Throw in one of the country's best DB units and for shits and giggles the nation's number 1 high school prospect Terrelle Pryor as a third stringer QB who will be used in spread formations and you have a team that will get absolutely ZERO respect from the media because they haven't beaten an SEC team in a bowl game.
3.Oklahoma-I remember when they used to give you a blindfold and a cigarette before you played against the Sooners. Now, not so much. But this is still one of the most talented teams in the country. I expect them to own the Big 12 as long as they actually show up to every game.
4.USC-I think the University of Spoiled Children should pretty much be preseason number 1 by default every single year. You can't name another team that regularly brings in as much talent as this school. On paper, their third stringers would start at almost any other school. It's almost gotten to the point that winning the Pac10 is a given and a BCS bowl is always in the cards. The only question is will they play for a national title. Three games in, Ohio State comes to LA for a showdown. This means USC will probably start either 1 or 2 just for the extra hype.
5.Georgia-Some of the prognosticators have Georgia as number 1. Personally I think they are always perennial underachievers. The phrase "hottest team in the country" gets used a lot with this team. Like when they finished the season on a 7 game winning streak....After losing to Tennessee 35-14. This year they have a bunch of newbies on the O-Line. And no kicker to speak of.
6.Missouri-Yeah Chase Daniel is pretty good. Yeah their offense is exciting. Yeah they lost twice to Oklahoma by like a combined 31 points. I don't really see Mizzou competing on the big stage if only because they won't be able to win their own conference.
7.West Virginia-The Big Ten gets a lot of shit for being a weak conference. How come nobody ever talks about the Big East? West Virginia will get their annual pass to a BCS game if they can manage to defeat the likes of Syracuse, Cincinnati and Connecticut. Plus they have to survive their non-conference schedule with Western Michigan, Marshall and East Carolina. But you can't take anything away from Pat White. He reminds me of Tommy Frazier....if he were genetically cross-bred with MosDef.
8.Auburn-I'm tellin' you, don't sleep on Auburn. Their schedule is a nightmare. I'm circling October 23rd at West Virginia. I'd love to see Auburn win the SEC and get redemption from a couple years back when they went unbeaten and got snubbed out of a title shot.
9.LSU-They are young and their perp quarterback got kicked off the team. I expect the SEC to hammer them with payback week in and week out. Their non-conference is really soft this year though. Appy State, Troy, North Texas, and Tulane. Might win the SEC West, but I doubt it. It's all about Auburn this year.
10.Clemson. I'm going out on a limb here and saying that Clemson has a really good shot to win the ACC and play for a national title. They lost three games last year to good teams. They've got 15 starters coming back. If they survive the opener against 'Bama, they've got The Citadel, NC State, South Carolina State, Maryland and Wake Forest. Those are very winnable games. This could be their year.
So what do you guys think? I know we got some different opinions here. But here's my all or nothing pre-season picks...
Heisman Trophy: I think Tebow will fall short because he'll either be dead or crippled thanks to Urban Meyer's disregard for his safety. I'm going with Chris Wells. Or maybe Juice Williams.
Biggest disappointment: Michigan. Rich Rodriguez can burn in hell. He's got no quarterback and a fancy new system that none of his players know how to run.
Best Conference: SEC
Most Overrated Conference: SEC
Conference most likely to be sucked off by Trev Albert: SEC
Conference most likely to have its salad tossed by Mark May: SEC
Darkhorse: Tennessee. I don't know if I'm really looking for them to actually accomplish anything in terms of a conference or national championship, or even a string of wins. It's just nice to have a good darkhorse.
National Championship Game: Clemson vs. Ohio State. This is insane! But I bet nobody else picks it.
Friday, June 20, 2008
SGM Summer Reading List 2008
(... with a hearty thanks to Ron for providing some of the titles for this year's assignments)
Book reports due, as always, by August 30th!
No penalty for handing reports in early.
Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination
Au: Neil Gabler
The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How it Changed America
Au: David Hadju
The Raw Shark Texts: A Novel
Au: Steven Hall
The Logic of Life: The Rational Economics of an Irrational World
Au: Tim Harford
The Hammer Story: The Authorised History of Hammer Films
Au: Marcus Hearn & Alan Barnes
The Mammoth Book of Monsters
Ed: Stephen Jones
Why White Kids Love Hip-Hop: Wankstas, Wiggers, Wannabes, and the New Reality of Race in America
Au: Bakari Kitwana
Twisty Little Passages: An Approach to Interactive Fiction
Au: Nick Montfort
The Search for the Last Undiscovered Animals
Au: Karl P.N. Shuker
Muses, Madmen and Prophets: Rethinking the History, Science, and Meaning of Auditory Hallucination
Au: Daniel B. Smith
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
A tribute to a fine musician of the classic lounge variety.
"A Shot In The Dark" - Reverend Organdrum
"A Shot in the Dark," which you may recognize if you, like me, watched a lot of "Pink Panther" cartoons and had the opportunity to check out shorts of "The Inspector," the crazy French detective with the Spanish sidekick named Deux-Deux. This reverential treatment of one of Henry Mancini's best comes to us by way of the vintage "supergroup" of 5 time Grammy winner Tim Alexander (Asleep At The Wheel) on the Hammond organ, Todd Soesbe on drums, and the incomparible Rev. Horton Heat on guitar. This throwback to the classic three-piece jazz combo, with the good reverend replacing the double bass with his scorching guitar skills, does considerable justice to this classic track.
Most shocking music video of the year
I can't believe they did this and that it actually sounds passable.
Headline of the Day
Comes to us today from the Cleveland Plain-Dealer
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2008/06/stealing_from_the_blind.html
"Tandem bike stolen from blind man"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
[NBA] Celtics win 2008 NBA Championship!
And I'd like to send a hearty "thank you" to Kobe Bryant.
Because without your level of play last night, I might have had to suffer through another 48 min + change, of listening to sportscasters go on about how you need to "accept the Jordan legacy." Hell, I can't stand Michael Jordan, and even I think that comparing Kobe to Jordan is bullshit. Last night, there were a few times when Kobe would pay homage to Jordan's "tongue out" gameplay, prompting me to respond, "Put your goddamn tongue in your mouth, your team's trailing by 28!"
I'll be honest, with speculation both legit and sarcastic that the NBA is fixed, when the Pistons lost to the Celtics, I started wondering myself. There's big money in a Lakers-Celtics finals series. Then there was that game where the Celtics assed around and blew a 30 pt lead at half time to 4 pts at the final buzzer. Then there was the game where the Celtics beat a near-30 pt lead to come back and mark the series 3-1. And when the announcers spent all of the next game talking about how "no team's ever come back from a 3-1 deficit to win the championship," I told myself if a Game 7 comes out of this, that will prove to me that the fix is in, whether or not the Lakers win.
But, hey, the right team won, Kobe's raping ass fell short of grasping Jordanesque greatness, and maybe now we can put the "fear" commercials to rest. Seriously, that shit was almost reaching 2004's Pussycat Doll's "Right Now" promo proportions (except for that Magic/Bird spot).
Monday, June 16, 2008
For the love of gas, continued
Remember how much fun we had, wondering what would happen if the gas prices got even more out of control?
Here's the fallout:
"As gas prices climb past a national average of $4 a gallon, reports of heists like these are cropping up across the country. Incidents of siphoning are on the rise, too, says Jeff Lenard, vice president of communications at the National Association of Convenience Stores (NACS). But the bandits aren't just striking gas stations; they're hitting truck stops, construction sites, citrus fields—anywhere a cache of fuel lies unattended." [more]
Former homeowners trashing their foreclosed homes, and now this? I'd cheer on the bandits, but the problem is that this just contributes to the rising prices. I sometimes wonder if the Great Oogieboogie in the sky has decided to pull the plug on his great, grand experiment, and everything in the next few years will be geared toward our extinction. But then, the Mayans have us going down to a big rock from the sky in 2012. But thank God Diablo Cody got an Oscar before it all went kerplooie.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Look what we are worth!
I don't know how accurate this is...
http://www.websiteoutlook.com/www.sciencegonemad.blogspot.com
I'll leave it up to others to run additional sites.
Friday, June 13, 2008
I don't know if anyone is watching Euro 2008
But if you aren't,
try to catch a repeat (or at least the highlights) of the Netherlands v. France from today. The French, in usual fashion, surrender almost from the beginning but the Dutch put on one of the best exhibitions of football I have seen in the last year. Arjen Robben's goal (the 3rd for the Dutch) is incredible.
Tim Russert dead at 58
Yeah, if you gotta punch the clock, "sudden" is probably the best way of doing it.
Tim Russert was probably the political analyst I least despised. He seemed to be a pretty solid guy, but I used to say the same about Chris Benoit, and Russert didn't kill no kid, so at least that's points in his favor.
The Best Justice Money Can Buy
R. Kelly acquitted of child pornography charges today...
Well there you have it. He beat the rap after a six year delay of going to trial and just a few hours of jury deliberations. I'm not going to speculate on what his punishment should have been, since he's been found innocent. But I do wonder what it would take to convict someone of ramming out and pissing on a 13 year old girl. Obviously a little more than just a measly video tape of said defendant ramming out and pissing on a 13 year old girl. Thoughts? P.S. maybe it was the fact that his legal team consisted of the father-son team of Sam Adams and Sam Adams Jr.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wow, that's a helluva a way to feel old.
I was reading some recaps of this week's Raw, and in every one I read, I came across the phrase, "Rick Rolled." So, I looked it up ... and now I wish I didn't.
What the fuck is funny about that shit? You give a person a link to something, they click it, only instead of the link going to what you said it was, it instead goes to the video for Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up?" And again, what the fuck is funny about that shit?
Apparently, Vince was calling one of the fake people for this money contest WWE is running, and the guy had the song in question as his dialtone. And everyone that has written a recap online in the IWC thinks this shit is the funniest thing.
Yeah ... the fuckin' Rick Roll. And here I thought I had a pretty good sense of humor, and yet I find none in the Rick Roll. Now, if you put up a link to something, only it leads to the "2 Girls, 1 Cup" video ... well, yeah, that's just as funny. "Rick rolling," "shit rolling" ... I suppose this is a sign of society starting to pass me by.
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
Summer vacation approved!
"Jack The Ripper" - Link Wray
File this under "surf music," as Wray's grinding, reverb-drenched guitar shreds every note, not unlike the scalpel of the titular character shred prostitutes in Victorian England. Influential on everything from punk to Tarantino films.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Quintessential R.E.M.
The 10 songs you need to listen to in order to fully appreciate the greatness of these four gents from Athens, GA.
10. "How The West Was Won and Where it Got Us" - New Adventures in Hi-Fi
One of the later tracks from the good period, before Bill Berry left and the band lost its way for about three albums. Very lush sound on this one...a marked contrast from the I.R.S. period. Stipe's vocals come to the fore on this one. The depth of the lyrics is stunning.
9. "Finest Worksong" - Document
For my money, Document is their best album, based in part on this track. Strong writing and a well-arranged horn section make this one worth listening to.
8. "Living Well is the Best Revenge" - Accelerate
The best track on the new album. Shows the evolution of their sound until this point, though they were much better with Bill Berry. This one comes close to matching the mature sound from the mid-1990s, just after the switch to Warner and before the wheels fell off.
7. "One" (U2 Cover)
This one has made the rounds on the internet for a while and was even picked up by Music Choice for a time. I think it might just be Mills and Stipe here, but I'm not sure and have seen it labeled a couple of different ways. The harmonizing between the two is the best I have ever heard it. Stipe's interpretation of Bono's lyrics are incredible...he nails the emotional parts and makes it his own.
6. "Exhuming McCarthy" - Document
Veiled political messages from the 1980s combined with a funky guitar riff from Peter Buck. An upbeat ditty as the nation, supposedly, went all to pot under Reagan.
5. "Superman" - Life's Rich Pageant
Just listen.
4. "Orange Crush" - Green
Anti-Vietnam and very memorable lyrics. Politics and good music work well together here.
3. "It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" - Document
Naturally. In 4 minutes you get a snapshot of the 1980s on American college campuses.
2. "(Don't Go Back to) Rockville" - Reckoning
Written ostensibly about a girl who was about to leave UGA, much to the chagrin of certain band members, but is really about the rural South and its take on urban discontent. Best instrumentation while they were on I.R.S. The 10,000 Maniacs cover of this one is strong as well.
1. "Everybody Hurts" - Automatic for the People
Hands down their best song. The video (where the people stop their cars on the interstate and start walking) helped a lot, as did their performance of this one on the VMAs. Lyrically and musically flawless.
So I'm a bit too tired to do this list justice with comments...
Frustration
Searching for an apartment isn't fun.
I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but apparently 99.99% of the country is in a housing slump. Click on CNN or CNBC's websites and you will see a stream of bad numbers about prices, new construction starts, and existing home sales.
I live in the .01% of the country that isn't in a housing slump. Check that....I live in the .01% of the country that has declining property values, dwindling home sales, and outrageous rental rates.
When I first moved down here, a 1/1 in a decent community went for about $515-$550. A 2/1 or a 2/2 would be in the $600-$700 range. You could by a 2/2.5 condo in any one of about a dozen new developments for about 150K to 200K. Since the plan was to get down here for 4 years and then pack up and get a tenure tracker somewhere, I opted to rent. As I am about to begin year 7 I'm still glad I rented, because the housing market is in a calamity now.
To compare today with then, those condos are now going for 125K to 175K, so a fairly substantial drop in value. Glad I didn't buy. However, no one sent the landlords the memo that we were in a slump, as the rents for a 2/1 and 2/2 are now in the $750 - $1,000 range. To me, this makes absolutely no sense. If the value of a property has dropped, and the state legislature has made it a point to dramatically reduce property taxes, why are rents still increasing? I'm sure that none of them have been renovated, at least not to justify the additional cost. Since most landlords down here are crooks (see below), I'm sure that the building conditions have probably worsened.
If I was going to be here 7 more years, I would buy one of these condos on the cheap, live in it, and unload it when the market returns. Since that isn't going to be the case, I am stuck renting. Also, I am a professional renting in a college town. Realtors treat professionals as buyers...meaning you have a job, you are going to be here a while, so let's sell you a house. Welcome to the community. Realtors and landlords treat renters as third-class citizens. You are going to be here for 4-5 years to get your degree and go somewhere else OR you can barely afford to make a car payment or just went through foreclosure, so we don't have to be nice to you. The place I am renting from now sent me their move out paperwork other day. The instructions are more detailed and thorough than a syllabus for an upper level chemistry class. I have to vacuum the coils on the refrigerator (?!?), clean the baseboards, pay to steam clean the carpet, and replace chips in the tile. If they decide that these repairs are not good enough, I will be billed. If they take $100 of the deposit, they will then charge me an additional $75 just because they feel like it.
To make matters worse, new places aren't cooperating. On Thursday, I e-mailed 4 real estate agents, each with multiple rental listings that I am interested in, and as of today I have heard back from none of them. I included my signature block, which includes my degree and my job (which actually has a name affiliated with it that should mean something in this town) and still nothing. Tomorrow I am going to call them and/or drop by their offices and see who really wants to rent these units. I will likely have some good stories to share.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Science Gone Mad: Audio eXchange
Two in one week! Ya'll minor, we major!
Suspiria Theme - Goblin
Creepy intro music for one of Italy's creepiest horror films. If you've seen that pro-choice documentary "Juno," "Suspiria" is the film that the little pregnant girl compare to another horror film, "Wizard of Gore." And I've seen that one part, and it makes me want to kick Tarantino in the fucking balls, because ever since his movies really struck gold with the unwarshed masses, now 95% of all movies have to feature characters that talk "really cool." However, I don't think true horror film aficionado would even put these two films on the same pedestal, as both are truly different films, with different agendas entirely.
Plus, "Juno" was written by a stripper that looks like she was the one that only got to dance at an hour 'til closing, where everyone was too drunk to care about her fugly ass.
But yeah, this is a sweet fear track. "Witch!"
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Your creative writing exercise for the day
Complete the following prompt:
"While mowing, I found myself looking at the lid to a Mason jar half-buried in the yard. After chipping the dirt away, I removed the lid to reveal ..."
Assignment due by 6/10/08.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
DeepDiscount.com's 20% Off Sale - June 6th - June 22nd (IT'S LIVE!!!!!!!!)
C&P'd from elsewhere:
Hello Everyone!
Coupon code DVDTALK is live for the DeepDiscount.com 20% off Sale!
The sale will run through June 22, 2008.
All DVDs, HD-DVDs, and Blu-ray Discs are on sale (with the exception of pre-orders). Also, posters, Fun Stuff and Storage Units are included in the sale. So please take a look at many of the other products that we have to offer. There are a lot of great bargains on our Fun Stuff pages.
Beginning on Thursday evening look for CDs and Books tagged with a "Mega Sale" logo. These titles will already have the discount applied, so no coupon is necessary.
Thanks again for all of your support throughout the year and during all of the many sales that we have.
Have fun.
Dave
-other coupons-
DVDTALK
USATODAY
NYTIMES
SUPERSALE
PRICESEARCH
SUMMERSALE
YAHOO
ESPN
LATIMES
XM
SOUTHSIDE
WGN
JIM
DEALNEWS
(THEY MAY NOT ALL BE ACTIVE YET - BE PATIENT!)
An Audioexchange request
Those of you who can use the newfangled internet music thingees
Can someone point me to a link to, or provide an mp3 version of, "Heaven Hammer" by Beck? I downloaded it on Napster for 99 cents a couple of years ago and now, thanks to the joys of digital rights management, it will no longer play even though I am still a Napster subscriber.
Why I am sick of the 2008 election already
My flight was delayed in the Nashville airport last night and, so, I was forced to sit through two hours of CNN's election coverage.
The pundits who they had last night were locked in a contest to see who could come up with the most over-the-top historical comparison to Obama's nomination. Jeffrey Toobin won the prize by mentioning that, in 1961, the Freedom Riders set out to desegregate interstate buses in May of that year and, in August, Obama was born. I'm really not sure what one has to do with the other, as Obama was already conceived and his parents had nothing to do with the Freedom Rides, but apparently just being born in the same year as a monumental civil rights event makes you a crusader.
Toobin also said one of the dumbest things I have ever heard a pundit say. He said "There have never been two candidates more different in my lifetime."
Bollocks.
Toobin, I think, is older than 36, which would mean that he was alive when Richard Nixon ran against George McGovern. Let's see....the peacenik Senator from Big Sky country who runs one of the most unabashedly liberal platforms in history versus Nixon, the brooding, secretive foreign policy genius whose paranoia and nonexistent moral compass brought down his presidency. I think Toobin is older than 28, which would mean that he was alive when Jimmy Carter ran against Ronald Reagan. Toobin is also probably older than 24, for Reagan vs. Mondale. If Toobin was 20, I could accept his assertion, but to a) try to make John McCain out to be a strongly conservative individual and b) to try to make Obama out to be some sort of saint figure really does little to inform the audience. Engaging in extended hyperbole of this sort makes me cringe.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I did a song with Reef the Lost Cauze last night.
Another goal was checked off the list. I'm a big fan of his Feast or Famine album. He was a cool fucking dude and great to work with.
C-Rayz Walz from Def Jux was there too to add to the dopeness.
I was sent home early from work today for being too tired. "Jake, you look like shit." Well, a grand 7 hours of sleep over three days will do that.
So please excuse the absence from the web as of late. Frankly I will pass out in mid-conversation on you these days. Just trying to bring home the bacon. What's good around the hood?
Monday, June 02, 2008
File under "What the hell for?"
"Tourists applauded firefighters Monday as Universal Studios reopened, while investigators examined the ruins of some of the most famous sets in Hollywood to find the cause of the spectacular weekend blaze.
"When the gates opened, hundreds of people streamed into the venerable movie studio-theme park, which was closed Sunday after the early morning fire.
"Tourists on the tram ride through the sets gave a round of applause to firefighters still putting out hot spots. At least a dozen fire trucks remained on the lot and smoke was still rising from thick, twisted piles of girders." [more]
So, that's the secret to beginning China's healing process, following the devastating earthquake: Tourist dollars. Just re-open the gates to China and let the visitors in to look at all the destroyed attractions, like, y'know, China.
