The North American video game crash of 1983
(It's not such a random article, as I found myself researching things about videogames today for a little project for myself that may amount to nothing, since I don't have reliable computer access except at work.)
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Thursday, January 29, 2009
Your random Wikipedia article for the day
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Book Recommendations
Not that we have much free time around these parts.
"Divine Invasions: A Life of Philip K. Dick" - Lawrence Sutin
and
The Collected Works of Philip K. Dick, specifically volumes 1 (Paycheck) and 4 (Minority Report)
The first one is hard to find, as it has been out a while. It is probably more of a library book than a for-purchase book. The latter recommendation is part of the 5 volume Collected Works of PKD that were published in the 1980s and reprinted when movies based on his works started appearing. They are mostly short stories, and mostly pretty good reads.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Comics imitating a Nine Inch Nails album
Looks like the new administration is going to have to bail out the comics industry also.
The Los Angeles Times reports that the comic industry is currently on the downward spiral. One of the proposed solutions (jacking prices from 2.99 to 3.99) probably won't do much good.
WWF Legends of Wrestlemania coming soon!
There's a couple of links to check out information as it becomes available for this game. Looks pretty freakin' awesome, and for me it could even turn out to be a "killer app," much the way WCW/NWO Revenge was for me getting a Nintendo 64, or the way Grand Theft Auto III was for me getting a Playstation 2.
Now, that being said, if this were a perfect world, us 6 would have some way of teleporting back and forth to each other's houses and meet up every weekend to play WWF No Mercy or Wrestlemania 2000 on N64, exchange & challenge our respective created wrestler rosters. 'Cause my Jesus & Hank Hill tag team would kick ya'll's wrestlers' asses any day!!
Anyone still have this game? Anyone up for sharing their particular CAWs, maybe even to the extent of providing specs? I'll sure as shit dust off my console if this suggestion gets some bites.
Anyone know how I can make some really nice screencaps off of televised gameplay?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Professional Foul
In soccer, a harsh violation of the rules, such as a goalkeeper handling the ball outside of the 18 yard box or taking a player out with a two-footed, spikes showing tackle, is called a professional foul. These are usually dealt with with a red card, ejecting the player from the game and forcing the offending team to play a man down.
Every career, vocation, or hobby has its professional fouls. In Nate's business, things such as having a romantic relationship with a client, giving out personal and identifying information about a client, or acting outside of the client's best interests are all professional fouls. Even in online video games, things like camping and using cheat codes are professional fouls.
My profession has a number of these as well. For example, plagiarism is a huge one. If you are influenced by a person or use their ideas in your work, you cite them. A former colleague of mine who now teaches at another university has committed one of these fouls against me and had the audacity to tell me about it.
For the sake of remaining anonymous, I am going to be very vague, even though I think a search through this blog might reveal some of the details. For about 4 years, I have had an idea about incorporating a major black and white television show into a social criticism of post-World War II America. I utilize this television show in my classes, I spoke about this idea in bits and pieces around my friends and colleagues, and I have done a fair bit of research into the making of this show and its creative team. In short, this is my idea and a lot of people know it.
Recently, this colleague informed me that he had advised his graduate student to use this television show as the (not "a", but "the") central point of analysis in his dissertation. Essentially, he took my idea and he advised a student to pursue the idea as the foundation for this student's terminal degree.
In theory, the terminal degree becomes the basis for your first professional book. So, again in theory, this person will sometime within the next five years, publish a book based on my idea.
This is wrong on so many levels. First, it is a clear professional foul right up there with outright plagiarism. There was no independent thought in this decision. I had a good idea that was in the formulative stages, I clearly acted on it and started doing the work to advance it past the idea stage. This person took my idea and essentially gave it to someone else. Not cool.
Second, the study of the humanities at the graduate level is akin to the old craft apprenticeships of the pre-1900s. To learn a trade, you were taught by a master...someone who had proven their worth and had demonstrable skill. The apprentice was at that person's mercy to receive good instruction and learn the rules of the trade, as well as perfecting their own skill. Graduate studies in the humanities is a lot like that. The student places a great deal of trust in their primary advisor to teach them the skills and rules of their given discipline. The advisor is essentially entrusted with this person's career.
This is where professional foul number two is occurring. My colleague is essentially taking his student's career and advising him to write about an unoriginal idea. The basis of the PhD is original work and, while this student will no doubt do the work on his own, but the idea will not be his. This will not help the student advance in his career goals. This is very bad advice and pretty darn close to an abdication of his responsibility as a graduate instructor.
To compound this, I am making it a point to have something in print on this project by the end of the summer. This is my idea and I'm going to publish on it. I feel kind of bad for the poor graduate student because, once he is finished with his degree, I will have already published multiple articles on it, thus overshadowing his work and making his work seem, well, unoriginal. I can't do anything about this, as I have no responsibility to this student. Had my colleague asked me about this before he advised his student, instead of after the fact, I might have broke off a piece of the project and let him have it. Now, however, it is all mine.
Moral of the story: Don't be a German.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Weekly Fox News shitty journalism watch
Clearly, we should have a label for "Shitty Journalism."
Did you know that "stealing a road is a misdemeanor." Really? The whole goddamn road?
Now, this story - about a Chinese girl killed on the campus of Virginia Tech - is pretty interesting. "Police say she was decapitated with a kitchen knife while having coffee with a Chinese doctoral student in a campus cafe Wednesday night." However, in this same story, we're led to believe that "seven other people who were in the coffee shop told police that the two hadn't been arguing before the attack."
Now, I'm puzzled, because I don't know if this is truly shitty journalism; did said attacker decapitate said victim while in the cafe? Or did they meet for coffee, leave, then at some other place the alleged attacker severed her head? They don't say exactly that the beheading occurred in the coffee shop: The two met, had coffee, apparently weren't arguing, but at some point, the killer - while among seven of probably the MOST SELF-ABSORBED individuals to ever sully the planet's surface - proceded with the grueling & arduous task of beheading his victim with a kitchen knife. If this story is to be believed, the people in that coffee shop are the shittiest human beings on the planet.
"Police received two 911 calls shortly after 7 p.m. Wednesday, and were on the scene in a little more than a minute to take Zhu into custody, Virginia Tech Police Chief Wendell Flinchum said." Now, according to other sources, the police arrived wherever to find the dude with the girl's head in his hands. I don't have the actual facts in front of me, but can it be safe to assume that it takes a hell of a lot more time to behead a person, who's no doubt flailing and fighting, than the "little more than a minute" it took for the cops to show up?!
VA Tech has had it pretty damn rough, man. The shooting massacre from last year, and now the "Coffee Shop Seven" let this woman die? What's next? Who's next?
Kick-Ass: The worst comic book ever printed?
And in a world where "All Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder" continues to see print, that’s saying a lot.
Two things will forever make me very suspicious of picking up a comic book, from this moment forward:
1 – When I learn that a comic is in the works as a film, one month after the first issue is released; there’s something disingenuous when a comic is created seemingly for nothing more than to cash in on Hollywood’s growing interest in all things four color; and,
2 – When Mark Millar is one of the creators; remember the last page of "Wanted" ("And this is my face, while I’m fucking you in the ass")? Yeah, what if the movie had ended with that?
I picked up issue 5 of "Kick-Ass" the other day, and it will be the last issue of this wretched story that I pick up. I probably won’t bother with the film when that comes out, either, much like I didn’t bother with "Wanted." This story, this writing, this concept is so atrociously bad and poorly developed, I openly weep for the future of comics as a medium, that this thing is consistently a top seller with each issue released.
I share with you now the official synopsis from Marvel Comics of this title’s first issue, so we have some perspective of what we’re about to discuss:
COVER BY: JOHN ROMITA JR.
WRITER: MARK MILLAR
PENCILS: JOHN ROMITA JR.
THE STORY:
"The greatest super hero comic of all-time is finally here. WOLVERINE: ENEMY OF THE STATE's team of MARK MILLAR (CIVIL WAR) and JOHN ROMITA JR. (WORLD WAR HULK) reunite for the best new book of the 21st century. Have you ever wanted to be a super hero? Dreamed of donning a mask and just heading outside to some kick-ass? Well, this is the book for you--the comic that starts where other super hero books draw the line. KICK-ASS is realistic super heroes taken to the next level. Miss out and you're an idiot!"
Okay. This is not "the greatest super hero comic of all-time (sic)". I’ve never dreamed of "heading outside to some kick-ass" (sic). I appreciate that the concept is to visualize a superhero paradigm in a realistic setting, but ... well, we’ll get there. And trust me, if you miss out on this comic, you’re far from being an idiot.
Issue one introduces us to Dave Lizewski, a fifteen year old who dorks out over comics, science fiction, horror, and the like. We get to see his geek life, his geek dad, his geek friends, his geek school, and his geek dreams that superheroes should be a reality. While his friends balk at this idea, Dave takes it upon himself to see this done. With no training, a strong sense of smug assuredness in his mission, and a diver’s wetsuit, he patrols the streets and happens upon his first crime. Expectedly, he fucks up, and gets fucked up; his first attempt at stopping a crime ends with him stabbed and run over by a car driven by some of his female classmates.
Issue two starts with lil’ Dave in the hospital; he attributes his broken body to a mugging. He receives treatment for his wounds the likes of which couldn’t possibly be covered by his skid row dad’s insurance. Then, a few weeks later(!), when he leaves the hospital and convalesces into full recovery(!!), he goes back to fighting criminals with two batons(!!!), pepper spray(!!!!), and his ongoing sense of judgmental self-righteousness. Even better, he appears to suffer no lingering after effects of his horrendous injuries, which include but aren’t limited to broken bones, a collapsed lung, and a smashed skull.
Issue three meanders along, with the newly dubbed “Kick-Ass” (sigh) offering his crime-fighting services to anyone in need; he does this by keeping a MySpace account – I shit you not! – open for people to reach him. If the A-Team had this kind of set-up, they’d ... well, they’d have been captured within days, instead of successfully eluding military police for five seasons.
Kick-Ass answers a request from a woman who is sick of her boyfriend whuppin’ dat azz on the regular; Mr. Ass in turn seeks him out and confronts him at his apartment. Boyfriend don’t like this, so he, his homeboys, and his homegirls go to work decimating Kick-Ass.
And here’s where the problem begins. We are introduced to Hit Girl, a presumably eight year old girl, wielding twin samurai swords like a ninjitsu champ, and calling people "motherfuckers" while she lops off skullcaps and eviscerates major organs, all with an impish smile while she's drenched in blood and innards that are now outtards. Did I mention that this character looks like she's eight?
Issue four is more of a low key issue, as Kick-Ass officially meets Hit Girl and her partner, Big Daddy – hm, could they possibly be a father-daughter duo? Is Millar seriously setting this up as a mystery? – and while he’s left pondering the conflicts between his superhero job and his high school life, the “Mob” (sure, why not, since we’ve suspended disbelief this far?) are zeroing in on targeting Kick-Ass for ... something that’s not quite clear, since Kick-Ass has done nothing to this point that would be construed as being heroic, nor having done any significant damage to ne’er-do-wells in his community, much less having interrupted any "Mob" proceedings.
Issue five begins very awkwardly; it felt like I had missed a few issues, until I realized that several weeks have passed in the story, a point alluded to in a very small sentence. Apparently, over the course of this sentence, a hero named Red Mist has taken cue from Kick-Ass and become a vigilante too, and has eeked out quite the career of it, too. Their paths cross, they realize that they have a lot in common (Red Mist plays Danny Elfman while on patrol ... Jesus Christ!), and they have a “team-up.” However, this goes to shit quickly when they happen upon a tenement fire, and they rush in to save an overweight cat in a hamster cage … true story, swear to god! And when Kick-Ass escapes within an inch of his life, we are met with the fantastic crime-fighting duo of Hit Girl and Big Daddy.
And this is the point that I’ve just lost all interest in this book, its story, its characters, its direction, and anything having to do with it. In fact, that this title exists, along with all the goodwill that was decimated by the Secret Invasion storyline (a multipart megacrossover event spun out of a multipart megacrossover event, that ends with … the start of a multipart megacrossover event), has me crossing off ALL Marvel titles on my hold list at Planet Comics.
Millar is supposed to be some kind of special among these new gods of comics writing, right up there with Ennis, Ellis, Morrison, and the like. A nip around Wikipedia to scope out other works of Millar uncover only “Civil War,” “The Authority,” and “Superman: Red Son” as notable, among a list of random fill-ins for storylines or ongoing stints on titles that ultimately end up as poof. I mean, "Trouble?" Really? ”Trouble?”
I’ve come to believe, and I base this on the high sales of “Kick-Ass,” that comics have become the printed equivalent of movies. That is, apparently you can put anything out there, and regardless of the critical response, someone is likely to pay money to be exposed to it. Wasn’t it "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" that knocked "Dark Knight Returns" from the #1 box office spot it had held for several weeks?
Congratulations, Mark Millar, you have, like your "Wanted" protagonist, fucked me in the ass again, this time to the tune of five issues. But no more, and if I can do anything to steer people further away from this shitty tripe that passes for sequential graphic entertainment – which really only fits two of those three descriptors in that it is graphics laid out in a sequential format ... but it’s far from entertaining – then I’m probably guaranteeing myself a seat in Paradise.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Nate's Shower Thoughts, 1/22/09
This one comes in the form of a brain teaser:
What do these words have in common?
Crabcakes
Definite
Weighing
First
Inoperable
Stupid
Answer will be in the comments by Saturday, if no one answers correctly.
Was George Carlin a public enemy?
Not in the sense of Chuck D & Flavor Flav, no, but ... Well, check this out:
"Among the 12 pages in a file recently released by Carlin's family are a couple of letters from outraged citizens who complained that the comedian had made fun of the FBI and its director, J. Edgar Hoover, during TV appearances in 1969 and 1970." [more]
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Circuit City DOWN!
Yeah, I'm sure by now you've heard of the decline of the great Circuit City.
I'd been reading the past few days about how Circuit City stores have been packed to the walls with consumers taking a great advantage of the liquidation sales, the last blood spurts from a dying beast. I took the opportunity to go to three Circuit City sites over the past two days, and I must say, I was not impressed.
First observations were that the sales didn't exceed 30%. 10% on computer software and hardware, 20% on CDs & DVDs, and some smattering of 30% offers on electronics - the TVs, DVD players, computers ...
Stop right there.
I found a hard drive selling for $900, pre-sale. And based on what the CPU was offering and loaded with, I thought that $900, even with 30% discounted, was pretty damn steep. The discount, as I calculated it with the numbers I was given, would make the comp around $700; a quick check online and at the mecca for electronics in this day and age - Best Buy - revealed that the computer was going for +/- $700 right off the shelf. So, the dying beast of Circuit City was offering a "sale" that was probably about the equivalent of what they were selling this same computer for about a month ago. Dickheads.
Now, granted, this is nothing new to me. I'm a big fan of Deep Discount's annual 20% sale, and most of the merchandise is marked up so that Deep Discount doesn't lose too much on the deal ... but there's at least still some gain for me, the erstwhile customer.
No surprise, then, that the aisles of all three Circuit Cities were as barren as Phyllis Diller's cooter. Even the DVD section offered no solace; there were no interesting box sets to score deals on, and even the "deluxe editions" of recent films like Hellboy II and Iron Man were nowhere to be found. Oop, scratch that, I found a copy of the 3-disc Iron Man set ... marked up from its usual $24.99 to $29.99, and selling for 20%. Hmmm ... $23.99; a whole fucking $1.00 off.
I remember back in the days when Circuit City first hit Johnson City, with its low prices on electonics and CDs. And when DVDs started flooding the market, it was a great place to go when you wanted to just browse, because there was a fantastic chance that at least one of two things would happen:
1) You'd stumble upon some obscure film that had somehow crept into inventory, and when you found it, you had the perfect impulse buy (a lot of my early horror film and kung fu movie purchases were made this way); and/or
2) You'd see a film you wanted to get your hands on, but the price was a bit questionable; you'd dig into the stack of other copies of said film, and you'd find one marked at a good 10-25% decrease than the first one you came across.
Only thing I walked away with, following my Circuit City excursions, was one copy each of Spaceballs and Office Space (my earlier copy being a casualty of my separation). I have cultivated a list of around 300+ assorted films on DVD that I look for at any given time ... of those films, those were the only two that were on the shelves. I speculate that the box sets, the deluxe editions, etc., were already picked clean by exiting CC staff, or might just have been hauled into the stock room to be shelved when the sales went from 30%-50%, where they can then be marked up by about 40-50%. As we all know, when you're liquidating assets, it's never to late to make a profit.
So, yeah, fuck you Circuit City. I hardly knew ye, with your poorly laid out design and your haphazard displays, along with your poorly trained and ill-prepared staff that could answer any questions about upgrading computer systems when I needed them the most. As long as this doesn't mean that Best Buy will now become "Worst Buy," I shan't mourn your passing.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My great lament
By now, most of you may know that I'm divorced.
While I sit in the center of my egocentric universe, garbage piled as high as an elephant's eye in my house, I contemplate what the future may hold for me. I'm recently 34, fairly intelligent, not unhandsome, and considerably witty. There could potentially be prospects out there for me, and this thought pervaded my curiosity as I searched online for girls that I used to know. Found some old high school acquaintences, a few girls I knew from college, and even a classmate or two from grad school. And while these online discoveries won't lead to any social connections of substance, I'm certain, I realized one gaping void that divorce has left in my life.
I'm going to miss being able to fart in front of a woman. I mean that in a more immediate basis. Sure, I could certainly find myself in a relationship where I'll cultivate the level of trust and acceptance that would be needed to really cut loose in front of a significant other, but for right now, if I go out on dates or some such, I'm going to find myself playing that bullshit game where, like, I have to pretend that the heat in the car has gotten too great and I have to roll the window down to get some air to circulate, "to balance out the warmth" or whatever shit I spontaneously came up with on my second prom night back in 1993.
That really sucks too, because just like there's no manual for decyphering the cryptic messages that women send out when they want to have the sexual encounters, there's likewise no manual that tells you when pooting up a storm is perfectly acceptable. That's a moment that you can't turn away from; either you pick the right time, and you and she can now feel totally relaxed in each other's company as you've found a new element to this person with whom you share your time, or alternately you'll be looked at as if you've just gone into your date's home church and called the pastor a motherfucker.
In the past eight years, the only other female I've farted in front of was my nurse when I had an appendectomy. They told me after the surgery that if I felt a buildup of gas in my stomach, I needed to relieve that by expelling it or else I'd feel a lot of discomfort. One mid-afternoon - 'cause the medications were out-STANDING! - I wake up, hike up a leg, cut loose a Hurricane Katrina of flatulence, and satisfied with my output, I capped it with a satisfied "Yeeeeeaaaaah ..." Only to hear a slight giggle, which came from my nurse who was behind me changing my IV bag. I quickly apologized, which led her to reply, "No, it's quite alright. I told you that it was something you needed to do." My only response was, "Yeah, but you didn't say to take so much pride in it."
With this in mind, here's to a brave new year of squinching my buttcheeks tight, excusing myself to the restroom of any restaurant/ department store/ ballgame (although I might could swing the ballgame setting ...), rolling down car windows, trotting upwind down a busy sidewalk, excusing myself to one aisle over in the grocery store because "I thought that's where the cereal was," and finding the nearest dog or infant and blaming it on them.
One other thing I realized I might miss is slapping the cobra clutch on a girl when I'm getting her doggy style, except that had nothing to do with my marriage; that was a whole other thing entirely, and in fact, I don't think the statute of limitations has run out on that yet, so let me conclude by saying, "Fuck you donkey punch, you think you're so great!"
Hail to the Chief
Hail, hail, baby. President Barack Hussein Obama. I can dig it.
After eight years of hearing educated people say shit like "I don't know why we're in Iraq, but I support what we're doing" and claims of us being in a "recession" being "bollocks," I'm going to take the opportunity to be a little unquestioning Statist for a while. If President Obama says or does it, it's the right thing. President Obama killed your dog? Good, your dog barked too much anyway. President Obama shit in your living room? Fine, your house smelled like your retarded dog and President Obama's shit smells like roses so he did you a favor. President Obama fucked your wife? She says it's the best dick she's ever had.
Support are President!!1!~one!
Seriously, thank fuck this day has come. No bullshit, but eight years ago on election day 2000, after the initial declaration of George W. Bush's victory, I said it would be terrible. Sure, I was basing my prediction on the premise that Bush was an intellectually incurious dry-drunk narrowly elected by a coalition of fundamentalist Christians, lunatics who have convinced themselves that that supply-side economics actually produce a "trickle-down" effect, and a small group of the super-wealthy who know how to manipulate the first two groups. But ol' Dubya would be a great guy to have a beer with!
So here we are. I'm not going to list the failures; if you've lived in this country for the past eight years and have a grip on reality at least as firm as this lady, you know what they are whether you want to admit them or not. Sure, there were some successes, like fucking shit up so badly that a black man with the name Barack Hussein Obama was just sworn in as President.
Oh, and also a reference to werewolves in the State of the Union address. I didn't think that would happen in my lifetime. I expected a black President at some point in my lifetime, but "human-animal hybrids" in the State of the Union? It's bad enough that President Bush constantly said shit like "is our children learning," although that's just misspeaking and it happens to everyone from time to time. But someone actually had to write down "human-animal hybrids" and then tell him to say it and he didn't ask "why would I say this?" And if he did ask why, then that means he didn't say "I'm the goddamn President of the United States of America, I'm not talking about the fucking dangers of 'human-animal hybrids' in the State of the Union address." But that was 2006 and by that point most people just didn't care anymore. Eventually the dumbassery overwhelms the senses and becomes background noise.
So here we are. I would never say it can't get worse. Things can always get worse. But, at least for a little while, things can look a little better. And as of an hour ago, it's Former President Bush and by God that sounds just as sweet as President Barack Obama.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
My favorite song of the moment
It is a bit old, but you've probably never heard of it.
"Forget Myself" - Elbow.
The video is no good, but it is here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDddtQN7Fdg
Friday, January 16, 2009
At least they didn't name him Bronx Mowgli ...
Following the saga of little Adolf Hitler Campbell ...
First, the poor child was denied a birthday cake with his name on it. [more] Now, notice how the family is portrayed like villains ...
Then, the kid is taken from the home, along with his two sisters. [more] This is the story that had comments the like of which made me realize how far our society has slipped down the drain.
Now, the conspiracy begins as speculation runs high that the kid was taken illegally from his home (and his fugly parents). [more] Notice how now the family is portrayed as victims ...
I'm intrigued to see more of this as it develops, but I get the feeling that it'll just lead to more poor quality reporting.
In other news, here's a story of a girl who makes her parents proud.
The B.I.G. movie
I'll admit right up front that this isn't the most appropriate thought in the whole world, but seriously, what's the over-under on at least three people getting shot and killed during a showing of this film?
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Tribute To Jim Gillette
My brother, despite being 8 years my junior, has spent most of his life as a connoisseur of Things That Suck, or Things That Are Funny For the Wrong Reasons. During my recent trip home, he enlightened me on the rawk awesomeness that is Jim Gillette.
For those who don't know (I didn't) Jim Gillette was the vocalist for mid-card hair metal groups TUFF and the slightly more famous Nitro. He was known for his incredibly wide vocal range (4-6 octaves it is speculated) and high squealing pitch, which he would often demonstrate by using to break glass.
Here is Mr. Gillette demonstrating said high voice. Two things also need to be taken into consideration here, and that is a) my brother recorded this as his phone ringtone, so when you call him this is what you get; and b) my brother can do a pretty fucking close impression of this, enough so I've encouraged him to put it on YouTube, as it's eons better than the crappy "Jim Gillette Tribute" videos that fall way short.
Next, we have a video from Gillette's band Nitro, which you truly only need to watch about the first 60 seconds of if you value your sanity. Nitro, despite having Gillette's vocal range, and a true virtuoso guitarist in Michael Angelo Batio, never really blew up to the level of many of the hair bands that were popular on the radio at the time. I would speculate it was because they weren't pop enough to be a good hair band, and not metal enough for the metal folks to respect them.
In this cover of the crappy-from-the-beginning-so-what-were-you-hoping-for "Cat Scratch Fever", pay attention to the following moments of Crappy/Awesomeness.
0:15 - Jim Gillette apparently attempts to emulate Ultimate Warrior
0:18 - The drummer, who appears to be short-lived WWF mid-carder Brachhus
0:25 - The greatest hip gyrations of the music video era, which I will DEFINITELY be adding to my stage show
Mr. Gillette is currently married to Lita Ford. Pray to God, Allah, Jehovah, Joe Pesci, whomever that their offspring do not enter the music industry. We might not be prepared for those genetics.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It's like talking to a fucking donut.
No, donuts are far more intelligent.
Meddling Chinese Landlord: So how's the job market? When will you be re-employed?
Jake: Well, it sucks right now.
MCL: Oh? (pause...)
Jake: Well, I don't have to tell you that this is the worst financial crisis since the 40's.
MCL: (with confused look) What do you mean?
What do you mean? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DO I MEAN?????
I should have killed him right then and there, but in this pussy liberal state that would be construed as a "hate crime." And it would be. I hate my landlord. Not due to ethnicity, but because he's an out-of-touch piece of bourgeois human refuse.
Friday, January 09, 2009
PS3 online gaming sucks
Yep.
It doesn't really suck per se I guess. It sucks when you play FIFA09 on here. It sucks for a number of reasons:
1) Everyone on there is a plastic fan. I have played 6 games. Five of the people used Manchester United and one used AC Milan. I used my team, West Ham United, and got whipped. The pattern is steal the ball, pas it to Ronaldo, score. Talk about not fun.
2) There is no tactics whatsoever. It is just steal the ball, pass it to a player, shoot. Hardly any passing. No runs. No tactical changes. Very, very one-dimensional.
3) Everyone on there is a tool. Maybe they can't speak English, I don't know, but there is no banter. Just "Let's steal the ball, pass it to a player, and shoot."
For the Homestar Runner fans
Ever wonder, during the Strong Bad emails, what all the videogames were, that have shown up in his little disk caddy?
I sure did! And I found this link right here: http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Floppy_Disk_Container
That should answer that question!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
More WWF DVD news
Not only can you look forward to the Starrcade best-of this month and the Saturday Night's Main Event set the following month, seems the Summerslam Anthology that came out August of 2008 is being volumized, with vols. 1 (1988-1992) & 2 (1993-1997) both streeting Mar 10.
And, like I did with the Wrestlemania and Royal Rumble sets before it, I will probably only pick up the first two volumes.
WWF Classic Superstars figures
Stretching the definition of classic to onion skin thickness, one wrestling figure at a time ...
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E
Maybe I’m the one who’s mistaken, getting “classics” confused with "legends."
Following a quick glance through a comprehensive listing of all the classic figures, I’m surprised that this toy line has reached the 22nd wave without one Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat figure having been produced. I mean, shit, they’ve got a figure of the Brooklyn Brawler! That ought to be one of the seven deadly sins.
Monday, January 05, 2009
How to make video games better, part 4080
Substitute zombie vocals with Randy Savage's gutteral verbiage.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Yo, Piper is buggin!!!
I woke up feeling like absolute dog shit today, so it's 6pm and I'm still in my PJ's, looking at things like this...
I thought this was dope.
Nate's Shower Thoughts, the 1st of 2009
Caution: Extreme dorkery lies within ...
For some reason, I found myself pondering the Marvel Universe vs. the Star Wars Universe.
So, who would win between ...
Captain America vs. Luke Skywalker?
Dr. Doom vs. Darth Vader?
Wolverine vs. Chewbacca?
Dr. Strange vs. Obi Wan Kenobi?
Bullseye vs. Boba Fett?
Black Panther vs. Lando Calrissian?
The Punisher vs. Han Solo?
The Beyonder vs. The Force?
The Hulk vs. The Rancor Pit beast?
The Wendigo vs. The Hoth Wampa?
Hydra vs. Stormtroopers?
Professor X vs. Yoda?
Friday, January 02, 2009
Nebraska has a football team?
Its going to be a long weekend.
In the airport in Jax waiting to fly to NYC. I'm on a leg to CLT and then to LGA> Apparently the University of Nebraska played a football game here last night. I was shocked that they still had a football team. I asked the guy from the TSA if this was indeed the case and a loudmouthed fan heard me and informed me that they had a good one. I asked him if they were playing in the national title game. He said next year. (Insert your own joke here).
It is going to be a long weekend at my conference if I keep my mouth running like this.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
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