Shorter SOTU:
"Terror, terror freedom, freedom, 9/11. Freedom terror, 9/11, freedom, terror. 9/11, freedom freedom. Terror. Terror 9/11. Creating human-animal hybrids. 9/11, freedom terror terdom free 9 ror 11. (Oh, shit, the teleprompter is borked.)"
The fuck did he say? Human-animal hybrids? I didn't think I'd see the day the President would mention werewolves and centaurs in the State of the Union speech and I don't know if I should blame science, science fiction or the hydroencephalic superstars that voted for Bush.
"Sheehan, who was invited to attend the speech by Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D- Calif., was charged with demonstrating in the Capitol building, said Capitol Police Sgt. Kimberly Schneider. The charge was later changed to unlawful conduct, Schneider said. Both charges are misdemeanors."
Somebody hates freedom and I don't know who it is.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
State of the Union
Weird shower thoughts
I wonder how the statistics on spousal abuse have been effected since the proliferation of online dating in the past few years ...
Monday, January 30, 2006
Thoughts on the Rumble v.02
I did a little digging, and found out who previous winners have been:
1988 - Jim Duggan (entered #13)
1989 - Big John Studd (entered #27)
1990 - Hulk Hogan (entered #25)
1991 - Hulk Hogan (2; entered #24)
1992 - Ric Flair (entered #3; won the WWF World title by winning the Rumble, making this the first Rumble to mean something)
1993 - Yokozuna (entered #27; 1st Rumble where the stipulation of "winner challenges for the World title at Wrestlemania" is added; wins World title at Wrestlemania)
1994 - Bret Hart & Lex Luger (entered #27 & #23, respectively; Hart wins World title at 'Mania)
1995 - Shawn Michaels (1st person to enter at #1 and win the Rumble; wins World title at 'Mania)
1996 - Shawn Michaels (entered #18)
1997 - Steve Austin (entered #5; however, Austin won as an eliminated competitor; lost his 'Mania title shot to Undertaker)
1998 - Steve Austin (2; entered #24; wins World title at 'Mania)
1999 - Vince McMahon (entered #2)
2000 - The Rock (entered #24; was contested by Big Show, who had video footage proving that Rock touched the ground before him)
2001 - Steve Austin (3; entered #27; wins World title at 'Mania)
2002 - Triple H (entered #22; wins World title at 'Mania)
2003 - Brock Lesnar (entered #29; wins World title at 'Mania)
2004 - Chris Benoit (becomes 2nd person to enter at #1 and win the Rumble; wins World title at 'Mania)
2005 - Batista (entered #28; wins World title at 'Mania)
2006 - Rey Misterio (entered #2)
Nate dorks out with the stats:
- Most Rumbles won: Steve Austin (3); (tie) Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels (2)
- The low number winners: #1 - Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit; #2 - Vince McMahon/Rey Misterio; #3 - Ric Flair
- The high number winners: #29 - Brock Lesnar; #28 - Batista; #27 - (tie) Big John Studd/Yokozuna/Bret Hart/Steve Austin
- Chance that Rey Misterio will win the title at Wrestlemania: 64.29% (9 of 14 winners have won their title match at 'Mania)
- Chance that Misterio could lose his shot due to pre-'Mania shenanigans: 21.43% (3 of 14 winners have lost their title shot due to stipulations, challenges or forfeitures)
- Wrestlers to lose their title match at Wrestlemania - Lex Luger; Shawn Michaels (1996)
- Has a #30 entrant ever won? No; but, five #30 entrants have been the runners-up, including 2 named Randy (Ted Dibiase, Curt Hennig, Randy Savage, Undertaker, Randy Orton)
- Competitors who eliminated themselves: Andre The Giant (1989); Randy Savage (1991); Bastion Booger (1994); Ahmed Johnson (1997); Mil Mascaras (1997); Skull (1998); Kane (1999); Drew Carey (2001)
- Competitors who technically were never eliminated: Mabel (1999; pulled through the ropes, not over, but did not re-enter), Spike Dudley (2003; attacked by Kane prior to entering the Rumble), Scotty 2 Hotty (2005; attacked by Muhammad Hassan prior to entering the Rumble)
Thoughts on the Rumble
Assembled were: Joey, Tony, Will, Sam and myself; quotes below attributed as possible.
[When Kid Kash came out] Joey: "Man, he looks a lot like Owen Hart."
[When Jamie Noble came out] Assorted: (in our worst exaggerated Southern drawls) "Where's my Nidia?"
[After the Cruiser match, when a distraught Kash was shown] "'Enough is enough, and it's time for a change.'"
[During Mickey James vs. Ashley] Me: "Mickey has man hands."
[During the Boogeyman vs. JBL match] Will: "They need to get a midget to pair up with the Boogeyman, and dress him like the Boogeyman, and call him Lil' Boogey."
[When the Royal Rumble started in the middle of the show] Assorted: "Why's the Rumble starting now?" Sam: "Doesn't the Rumble usually come at the end?" Me: "Who missed their flight?"
[During a sequence where Rey Misterio attacked Eugene] Me: "Mexicans hate retards."
[When Tatanka came out, we began hypothesizing who would be next, including Tugboat, Papa Shango, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Bruno Sammartino, Goldust, John Tenta, and the corpse of Gorilla Monsoon.]
[When Goldust came out] Will: "I called it!" Me: "So I can blame it on you, then."
[At some point Rey Misterio threw up in the ring, which I called to folks' attentions; following Triple H's elimination] Me: "And he landed in Rey Rey's chunks."
[When the catwalk descended for the Cena/Edge match] Joey: "When's the last time they had a scaffold match, the 80s?"
A quick assessment of how I did in the PPV Pick 'Em pool:
- I picked Mickie James to win, and she did.
- I picked Boogeyman to win, and he did.
- I picked Triple H to win the Rumble, with Misterio to runner-up. Missed that one ... BUT, I picked up the bonus "who gets thrown out first?" (Simon Dean)
- I picked Cena to win, and he did.
- And, I picked Angle to win, and he did.
- The Cruiser invitational wasn't included.
So, all in all, not a bad showing for this one. At least I beat Will ...
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thoughts at the End of the Task
NP: Live -- Beauty of Grey (Album version)
Although I'm fighting a serious cold/flu-like thing, I have just finished the first draft of Chapter 7. That means that, after a dinner break and some serious FIFA 2006 playing, I will start editing it and should make my Tuesday deadline. That's really cool. As I end, though, I have some random thoughts that need to be addressed.
1. Why do some bands make it to levels well beyond their talent, and others crap out before their time? Someone should really do a study on the listening habits of American teenagers as they get older, because some of the bands that we listened to growing up should still be around, especially compared to the trash that is coming out now. Why did Live peter out after their fifth album (yes, they produced another one but it was a junky effort to sound like today's bands) but Scott Stapp continues to have a record contract? Collective Soul's music is better than anything Creed ever dreamed about doing....yet the Creed guys still produce garbage as Alterbridge while Collective Soul is reduced to putting out concert albums on the new "Instant Live" label. Live and CS opened Woodstock II and now they are three steps away from bagging groceries at the Kroger. Hell, CS already played Funfest, if that tells you anything. This is a travesty I tell you. There is just no accountig for taste.
2. Why are Americans so opposed to soccer? The fourth round of the FA cup was this weekend. That is the tourney where the little clubs and the big teams play against each other on the road to the finals at Wembley. This is so much drama, yet Americans just don't care, nor will they ever emulate anything like it in our sporting world. Such a travesty.
3. What happened to Hollywood? The list of movies out right now absolutely suck. Underworld 2 was an utter waste of time. The director of the Hulk now has a movie about gay cowboys. Hollywood is now more about causes than providing good entertainment. I miss the days when celebrities would only talk about political causes that they had a direct hand in, such as censorship or entertainment issues, and not just issue these blanket statements about the political situation.
Well, my rambling isn't going anywhere fast, so I'll stop and spare you.
Got these this weekend ... thanks eBay!
 | Got this for $38.01 ... Marvel: Incredible Hulk (Green) statue MSRP: $79.99 Production details: #3822 of 7000 Dimensions: over 8.5" tall Sculpted by: Randy Bowen Produced by: Bowen Designs |
 | This one came for $27.25 ... DC: Lex Luthor bust MSRP: $45.00 Production details: #383 of 1200 Dimensions: over 5" tall Sculpted by: Tim Bruckner Produced by: DC Direct |
With that Absorbing Man I got earlier this month, plus the Wolfman, Mysterio & Kraven busts I already had, I got a nice little collection going so far. Now I just need a display.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
[Fiction] Remember That Day At Wal-Mart?
"Where the hell are you?" he said into the phone. He darted around the aisles, perplexed.
"I’m in sporting goods, like I said I would be." She sounded confused.
"Well, that’s where I am, and I don’t see you." He stopped moving, and he surveyed his surroundings. Something wasn’t right.
"What part?"
"What?"
"What part of sporting goods … what’s around you?"
He glanced around. "Um … it’s the fishing section. There’s poles, oars –"
"Hold on," she said. "I’ll come to you." There was a pause, and he could hear her shuffling past other shoppers. "Okay. I thought you said you were here."
Suddenly, he felt cold, flushed. Sweat began to bead around his forehead, but he felt scorching hot.
"Look," he said, "let’s just stick to the original plan. Meet me up at the magazine rack, in about five minutes." He had some difficulty croaking the words out of his mouth.
"What’s wrong?" She was now starting to panic, as well; he could hear it in her voice.
His cell phone began to beep. LOW BATTERY. "Hey, just meet me up there, okay? My battery’s going dead." He hung up the phone, folded it closed and returned it to his jacket pocket. He might need the phone later, so better to preserve as much energy as he could.
Thoughts raced through Jabob’s head. His head felt heavy, and he felt as if he were walking through gelatin. The whole day had not felt right since he got out of the shower, that bright flash of light that seemed to burst in his eyes, its intensity enough to knock him unconscious. Since then, he felt a dull ache in his head and at moments since he and Sheila had come to the department store, he felt as if he could hear her words and understand them, but then he would find himself unable to respond.
Five minutes turned into what felt like an hour. Jacob flipped through his third magazine, mindlessly turning pages without reading a word, thinking of Einstein and relativity and entropy and other topics that he had dropped out of the pre-med program to avoid.
He looked at his watch. The second hand had stopped. Now, there was no telling how long he had waited there. He took out his phone and hit SEND, annoyed by the beep that reminded him that he was low on battery power. His mood was hovering between impatient and uneasy.
"Hello?" Sheila at least sounded more relaxed than she had earlier.
"Hey, I thought we said five minutes?"
A long pause, then, "Who is this?"
"Sheila, are you kidding me? It’s Jake. Where the hell are you?"
Again, a pause. "I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number."
"Sheila? This isn’t the time to be fucking around. What’s going on?" Jacob heard a voice in the background; it sounded like someone said, "Give it to me." Someone was taking the phone from his wife.
"Who is this?"
Now it was Jake’s turn to pause. It was his voice on the phone.
"Hello? Asshole?"
Jake could barely respond. "Who –" The call was disconnected.
Jake looked at the phone, as if it were the only sane thing on the planet right now and it was going to provide him all the rational answers he needed. He stood still, his mind searching for even the most abstract of answers for questions that weren’t even fully formed. His eyes scanned the department store, looking for anything out of the ordinary, any one thing that he could find that might explain how things got so bizarre so fast.
"Sir, may I help you?" A sales associate stood in front of him, a concerned look on her face.
Jake looked up, and past the young girl with the ponytail and the red vest, with the nametag that read "Karen," other store employees were huddled, staring at Jake, as if he were some exotic zoo animal.
"No, no. I’m fine, I think." He had no idea what to say. "Yeah. I mean, I’m just browsing." He turned to look as some nearby merchandise, hoping the associate would go away and let him figure things out on his own.
He spotted, on a shelf next to some paperback digest mystery books, was a display of flags, underneath a sign that read, "Remember our triumph." The display, a very patriotic exhibit, was apparently designed to capitalize on the patriotism that grew in the post-September 11 recovery. But Jacob was no longer reading the display. Instead he noticed the flags themselves, and he found some things very odd. The first thing he noticed was that the flags, while ostensibly resembling the usual American design – red stripes, white stripes, blue in the upper left corner – had one disturbing difference, that being a solid black iron cross where the stars were usually located. The other thing that Jake noticed, and this was what made him the most uncomfortable, was that he seemed to be the only person in this store that noticed that, suddenly, things weren’t the way that they were supposed to be.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Today is ... Fantasy-Book Friday!
... but not for long. The face of Fridays changes next week!
Today's match is ...
(WCCW, 1985)
-vs-
The Undertaker
(WWF, 1997)
Shit eating contest? Can I enter?
See, I deal with fucking idiots who don't pay their cell phone bills and run up 150 bucks in overages and say "I don't unnerstan' why mah bill's so high" and after I explain that they have 400 minutes on their plan and they used 800, so 400 of those are billed at 39 cents each at a cost of 150 bucks, they say "I don't unnerstan' why mah bill's so high." And don't get me started on the waterbrained imbeciles who have milked Hurricane Katrina for all the free cell phone usage you can possibly cram into the limited life span of a rechargable lithium ion battery. There is a small joy in telling these fucktards that unless they cough up 300 bucks I'm not turning their fucking phone back on (in far more polite language, because Cingular is as terrified of giving poor customer service as Republicans are of swarthy brown ter-rists), but you can both still kiss my ass with your fancy educated book learnin' jobs.
This random blast of unneccesary anger brought to you by my own goddamned stupidity. Thanks and goodnight.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Swimming in Peanut Butter
NP: Pet Shop Boys -- Opportunities (Dance Mix)
Yes, that oft used metaphor is now the title of the post, which means this must be a message about writing the dissertation.
I am so tired of fooling with this thing. I have written roughly 9 pages today. I had hoped to have Chapter 7 put to bed by the end of the evening, but I still have at least 1.5 pages on the aftermath of 1952 and another 2 on the issue of corruption in that same year. There is no way I can get all that tonight. This post is actually an attempt to refocus my thoughts for a final push toward the 50th page of the chapter.
My dissertation director is great. He is taking a job in his native country in May, so I'm under a very specific time crunch. He actually got the job in May 2005, but told the new university way across the Atlantic that he couldn't take it until May 2006 so his Ph.D students would have the option to finish under his supervision. He currently has 9 students in various stages of their careers and, assuming I can press on and wind this thinkg up by March, 4 of us stand to graduate before he leaves. (I am counting myself as one of those even though I will be out in the summer, but he can do my dissertation defense over speakerphone).
This whole process has been good but not as rewarding as I thought. As my page count approaches 425 total, I find that the intesne deadline has stifled any creativity or in depth analysis that I have to think long and hard about. I have given myself a 3 month window between first draft and final submission, so I will go back and add that part in, but right now I feel like a page factory. My argument is there, as is my research base (over 100 footnotes in the 49 pages of Chapter 7 alone), but unless I improve this a great deal it won't be the ground-breaking project I want it to be.
Well, enough of that. GNR just came on the random Mp3 player, so that must be my cue to "Get in the Ring" and keep writing.
Departures
My supervisor is leaving tomorrow for his new job at a nearby clinic, where he's taking over the director duty. It leaves us without a supervisor. So, I'm putting in for that position.
And, as it stands now, if anyone gets that position other than me, I'm probably out of that job. Reason is, I can't see me being supervised by someone who doesn't know how to do the job I do, and has to be trained to do shit I've been doing for four years. The supervisor leaving is the supervisor who trained me, so I know how to do everything he does, minus the obvious -- supervision.
As it is, there's a job at Lander University for a Student Support counselor that I'll be putting in for tomorrow, or next Monday at the latest. That way, I'm either going to get a promotion or get out of that cancerous job.
Frank was awesome. If we're at the going-away party tomorrow, and they call for people to speak on Frank, there ain't much I could say that could sum up four years of working for the best supervisor I've ever had. But it's been great being Robin to his Batman.
On an unrelated note, did you know that Samuel L. Jackson's middle name is "Leroy?"
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Thoughts most random
Just a few for today:
Yes, we needed a sequel to "Big Momma's House." Martin Lawrence + fat old lady masquerade = GOLD, BABEEE!
I'm looking forward to Lance Storm vs. Bryan Danielson in ROH. Already 2006 is shaping up pretty good for ROH. Very solid organization, if you overlook the we're-smarter-than-you-are fans.
As much as I like the Royal Rumble, there's no one that will ever convince me that, say, Simon Dean, has as good a shot at winning the Rumble as, say, Triple H.
It's a hard thing, having the ability to make sound judgments on people and their character before they even walk in the door. A hard motherfucking thing indeed. It's gotten to a point where I don't even have to make them pee in little cups before I can name every drug in their system.
I can't imagine why the fuck the Pacers would want to get rid of Artest? I can't imagine why the fuck the Kings would want out of that trade?
Like I said, just a handful of thoughts today. Nothing cohesive. I have a couple of things cooking, but I need to get my stomach sickness under control before I can get back to it. (I swear ... helluva 2006 so far, yo.)
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
You know what'll bring even the toughest man down?
A good case of mud butt.
Took me out for half the day, 'cause nothing says, "Whew, I ain't going back to work today" like sitting on the toilet for so long that your legs fall asleep.
Monday, January 23, 2006
An update to my update
Burl Ives saves it when he tells his daughter (on the phone) "Tell him you boss is backwards. A double-S-O-B."
I don't know how well that works as an insult, but it was pretty funny. Thank God I developed that "Don't Laugh" face.
Important update
Burl-Ives-Looking-MotherFathers talking very loud on their cell phones in coffee shops need to be executed with a slinky and a car battery.
Microcosms & hibachi chicken
One thing I've noticed about life & the unique intersection we have with other people. We all get along when it comes to the Japanese steakhouse.
We had dinner tonight at Nagoya Japanese Steakhouse, where they spin an egg and call it "Japanese egg roll," and the chef catches stuff in his hat and makes onion volcanoes. We sat amongst a random sampling of the local citizenry -- a good ol' Southern boy with his cockeyed date (they were getting ready to see "Underworld 2" following dinner), a black guy and his mom, and a single mother in her earliest of 20s w/ her two year old daughter.
Here we had eight people who probably under no circumstances would have anything to say to each other, and yet there we all were, talking like old friends who hadn't seen each other since high school. And what was our one unifying factor? Japanese food. There we are, cheering each other on as we try to catch pieces of shrimp thrown at us by the cook, like we were circus seals. The Southern guy and the black guy toasted each other with little bowls filled with sake. I'm over there cooing with the two year old, while the spouse & cockeye-girl are talking purses.
After the meal, we each went our separate ways, but not after we wished each other well on our respective journeys, the other couple to their movie, the guy and his mom on their way to the grocery store, the girl and her daughter on the way to the girl's parents' house, and us, on the way to the house where we can get some much needed rest from a long day at work.
Now, if we could just vote in a president to build a gigantic hibachi grill, and construct a Japanese restaurant around the continental U.S., we'd have no problems evermore.
Moviegoers in Gainesville Suck pt. 1,042
NP: Pearl Jam -- Do the Evolution (Live in Mexico City 7/3/03)
Since I moved to Gainesville in August 2002, I have yet to have a positive movie going experience. Regardless of the movie, or the theater, there is always one or two individuals who feel led to break one or all of the rules of civility that govern the ritual of communal movie watching. In most towns, the Steve-Martin-as-Inspector-Clouseau pre-movie ad telling patrons to turn off their cell phones would be enough. In Asheville, we had the Pepsi-Girl-Who-Talked-Like-Jack-Palance telling us not to smoke or talk loud and that generally did the trick. In Gainesville, it would be more effective to show a five minute documentary with the cast of Napoleon Dynamite telling people basically to sit down and shut up. The problem is, most people here still wouldn't listen.
This weekend, the viewing choice was Underworld Evolution. It was opening weekend, so I expected a big crowd. I had the tickets early and we got to the theater about 20 minutes early. We get a seat and, knowing that something was soon about to dampen the night, we realized what it was. We had chosen the two seats in front of the three biggest rednecks in Alachua County.
Being fron East Tennessee, I should be able to deal with rednecks. One would think that I have enough of a tolerance built up over time. These folks, however, made our rednecks look like guests at a Ruth Criss Steakhouse on a Saturday night.
We knew it was going to be a long movie when the two male rednecks decided to yell a very loud "DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN" during the commercial for TBS at the point when the guy in the underwear gets hit in the jimmy with a kickball. Funny, yes. DAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN worthy? Not quite.
From that point, we got commentary from these guys on everything. If it had been witty commentary, it might have been tolerable. Instead, we got gems like "I'm only playing sports games from now on" after the trailer for "Stay Alive." I tried to tune the guys out from that point on, even though redneck A gave a constant running commentary to redneck b about his battle with a "giant jawbreaker." It required him to leave the theater for napkins twice, so it must have been a humdinger of a jawbreaker.
If that wasn't bad enough, there was a girl in the front of the theater who thought it was her duty to take pictures of the people next to her using a flash camera. So, in totally random spots, the movie's narrative would be broken up by a bright light from the front of the theater. even the rednecks were mad about that one. Maybe we should have formed an alliance and kicked the Flash Girl out of the theater.
Oh, and the movie? It was just ok. I hadn't seen the first one. The werewolf changes were pretty cool but the storyline was kinda hard to follow without prior knowledge.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
The nadir & zenith of gaming
I played two video games virtually back to back today, and I have to say that, as far as games are concerned, I almost reached both high & low points of gaming genius simultaneously.
I've been playing "God of War" on & off for a couple of months, and the game is just beautifully rendered. The atmosphere is remarkable, and there are tons of little things that make this game phenomenal. Like the mini-games involved in taking down certain characters. The mid-game "conquest" of two Greek female twins (take THAT, San Andreas). The pacing. The layout of all the levels. The quest for the McGuffin (in this case, Pandora's Box). It's just an incredible game. And Ares .... that's one tough mother fucker.
Now, I contrast this with "Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows." It's almost like the original Gauntlet, only rendered in 3D. It's "hack & slash" taken to unfortunate literal contraints; you can manage to put a lot of distance into the game with just one button. Now, don't get me wrong, there's something here to recommend, as it is mindless fun. Which, since I'm looking at two games simultaneously, doesn't exactly make it a great game. "God of War" excels in the limits to which you push your character & gaming abilities; mindFUL fun, as it were. I literally took out two of the titular Sorrows (i.e. the game bosses) with just two "special moves" (square-X and X-X-X), with no strategy or illusions that I wouldn't make it through the battle.
I can't wait to see what happens at the end of "God of War." And I haven't felt like that about a game since ... maybe "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time."
But, on the flip side, I can't wait to see what happens at the end of "Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows," either. 'Cause that'll mean I can move on to the next game I haven't played yet. Maybe "Shadow of Rome."
Wrestling sucks...
Or something.
My roommate's fiancee lives across the hall with her 19-year old brother Gavin and he's a big wrestling fan, so every now and then he'll tell me about some big happening in the world of pro wrestling. Nate mentions wrestling here every now and then and from time to time I read a post over on the other site about wrestling. I haven't watched or read about any significant amount of wrestling in probably two years so I wind up with this disjointed idea of what might be going on in wrestling through these sources. I also have a tendency to misread paragraphs and I thought Nate said Benoit had been submitting to Orlando Jordan in progressively shorter matches, so for a brief moment I was really pissed about that. I reread the sentence and felt better about Benoit's credibility and was left to focus on the idea of a bisexual character for Orlando Jordan, which made me focus on the white light and the voice calling me to it.
Anyway, Gavin told me that TNA had signed Sting for half a million dollars and Samoa Joe was pissed about it, then Nate mentioned it in his last post, so I used the link from the Jordan post to check out 411 for more news about Sting's return to professional wrestling. I never did find out anything about TNA signing Sting, but I did learn that MTV has decided to start their own wrestling promotion with such ring luminaries as Vampiro, Justin Credible, New Jack and Syxxpac23kid. You may remember Syxxpac23kid as the guy who made a sex tape with Chyna. As I learned from the pictures included with rotten.com's coverage of said sex tape, Chyna has a tiny penis where her clitoris should be. Either that or she has a vagina where her scrotum should be.
The original point of this post was to mention the MTVWF, which makes me wonder if they'll air the backstage segments on MTV and the actual wrestling on M2. Somewhere along the line I decided that you all needed to be reminded about Chyna's penis/inverted mansack and the sex tape she/he/it made with Syxxpac23kid. Now the point of this post is to posit a question: what is measurably worse? An MTV wrestling promotion, Chyna's penis/inverted mansack, Chyna having sex with Syxxpac23kid, the fact that they decided to make a tape of it, or the fact that they decided to distribute said tape? I report, you decide. Or you rip your eyeballs out in a fit of madness. Your call.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
It's a dead weekend, man
Dead as Dillinger.
The Flash DVD set is pretty damn good, for what it is. Hey, no commentary, no extras, no behind the scenes featurette ... it's about as good as this show was ever going to get.
I watched an episode of "Best 90's Ever" on VH1, and it occurred to me how damn dated and underwhelming Kevin Smith's Jay & Silent Bob schtick has truly become. I was under the impression that fat fucker was finished with his quaint little "Askewniverse" after "Jay & Silent Strike Back" (I never realized that they were struck against in the first place). But alas, no, on the horizon lies the "Clerks" sequel. I think it's called "One Trick Pony."
I think it'd be safe to assume that Joe Lieberman killed arcades when he pushed for legislation on ratings for video games. Unlike movie theaters, where the folks at the front might actually try to enforce the "17 & under not admitted" tagline for R-rated films, who at the Tilt was going to enforce the "M" rating on Mortal Kombat IX when Junior plunks down his $.50 because he wants to see if the code that makes Mileena naked really works?
I wonder what a game like "WWF Wrestlefest" would have gotten for a rating when it was released back in the day, given that kids could have imitated all those moves to incapacitate their playmates? Or "Metal Slug," with its depiction of the torture of prisoners of war? What about "Double Dragon" or "Final Fight," with all that horrible gang violence?
Earlier this month, we were talking about the hard times Newport was going through. Maybe they just need a change in the mayoral office ...
Vampire goes for governor
Voters in the US state of Minnesota may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
Jonathan 'The Impaler' Sharkey says he plans to announce his bid for governor today on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
"Politics is a cut-throat business," he said.
Eight years ago, Minnesota elected a former professional wrestler, Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, as its governor.
"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Mr Sharkey said. "I just hate God, the Father."
Sign me up for my front row seat to FX's show, "Black. White." It has "Black Like Me 2k6" written all over it. In the ad for the show, it had the tagline, "Trading Races," which I thought was the name for the show. Thank god that it isn't. Bad enough we had "Trading Spouses" ... I hope Dave Chappelle got fat money for that one.
The GZA/Muggs collab album, "Grandmasters" is pretty slick. Muggs drops some of that Cypress Hill production for his more consistent Soul Assassin style ... and believe me, there is a difference. I had to drive home after buying it, so I didn't absorb it like I would if I were at home listening to it.
"Infinite Crisis #4" has come and gone, and it feels like one of those indy comics, where disenfranchised 20-somethings sit around for 100 issues and talk about shit but don't do anything about it.
I don't have any idea where this thing's going. I'm starting to care less and less with each issue though.
A'ight humps, it's time for TNA, hoping against hope that Samoa Joe chokes out Sting (admit it ... you'd shit). So until tomorrow, this is Nate, signing out from Chocolate City.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Best wrestling news snippet I've seen in a while
Credit: 411 Mania - Wrestling
WWE Planning Controversial Bisexual Character
Big changes planned for Orlando Jordan ....
As if Chris Benoit making him submit in progressively shorter matches didn't kill his credibility.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Today is Appreciation Day!
It was a shitty day today. Clients didn't come in, the ones that made it in were being hard to work with on purpose. I realized I'm spending too much money on busts of comic characters on eBay (although I won a swank Lex Luthor bust today), and I need to hold waaay off on that shit, fast. Paperwork piled up, and a statewide audit of paperwork & billing looms on the horizon. I take effexor daily for my mood, vitamins for my energy, Aleve for headaches, and Pepto chewables at night 'cause I've been getting woken up by acidic gastric feelings in my throat.
But it's times like these that I try to practice what I preach professionally, and that is, every day has something important. Not rosy, not bright, but something important that you take with you, no matter how big or small it is.
Today, I appreciate: Cryptozoology. There's a lot of shit out in them there woods and waters that is completely foreign to us. And that's exciting ... the concept that there does exist a Bigfoot or a Loch Ness Monster or a Chupacabra, or even one of these goddamn things:
I mean seriously, what the fuck is that thing? If I was the scientifical person who got to name new shit like that, I'd call it a "gooberfish," 'cause that thing looks like if you were standing on the side of a stream, pissing, it'd jump up and bite your goober off.
So, to you, the science of gooberfish, I send my appreciation today!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Sleep number bed, civil rights, more
I love this commercial! For no other reason than while Lindsay Wagner is talking about the virtues of a sleep number bed, it shows a jackhammer testing the durability of the mattress.
YEEEAAAAHHH!!
Anyway, I caught a few minutes of Raw before I went to bed, and I love how Vince gets propositioned by Shelton Benjamin's momma. Is this what Dr. King fought & died for??!
Two days down, and STILL waiting for the Absorbing Man bust. Goddamn DHL!!
If the Hulk statue I just won from ebay comes through them and it's this hard to get my hands on, I will go to Greer and kick their asses.
Ah, man, new Game Informer reflects on the greatness that was WCW/NWO Revenge for N64. So great was my waxing nostalgia that I took Mortis & Yuji Nagata to the WCW tag titles. I now long for a SGM Super 30: Video Games feature. Who's wit' me?
Monday, January 16, 2006
The thing that burns my ass (today)
When someone asks other people to do stuff that they can do themselves. What makes it worse is when they can do the task in question during the course of their asking other people to do it.
Then, when they get fed up with other people not doing this task, they bitch at said persons for not doing it, instead of doing it themselves. At which point, it then takes approx 3 hours for the person to accomplish said task.
In other news, registered posting rocks~!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Wrestler Of The Week
This was the first time in a long while that I actually watched most of the wrestling available on free TV. In honor of such a feat, I bring to you the SGM Wrestler Of The Week.
First, we start off with the Wrestler To Watch Out For:
BROCK LESNAR
All this legal bullshit with the WWF is about to come to a head. Latest news reports have the WWF filing yet another injuction against him, attempting to keep him from working matches in Japan, to defend his IWGP title. Apparently, Brock gives a shit, 'cause the WWF filed a restraining order against him working his last match against Yugi Nagata, and he wrestled the match anyway. What the fuck were they going to do, arrest him?!
Now, news has it that the judge over this case (World Wrestling Federation v. Brock Lesnar?) has made it clear that, if the WWF legal team cannot provide an argument for Brock Lesnar to be held to honor his no-compete clause (signed per his release to pursue a football career), that the judge will rule in favor of Brock. That would mean ... Brock Lesnar would be free and clear to wrestle in any American Venue (TNA) that he felt would showcase (TNA) his talents best (TNA).
The argument from WWF must be made by Jan 25. The BROCK CLOCK~! iz ticking!!!!111onehundredeleven
The Wrestler Of The Week honorable mention goes to:
MARK HENRY
When I was younger, I used to love battle royals. I liked any match where you put all the wrestlers together and just had 'em go at it, usually fighting over some trophy or money or - on rare, spectacular occasions - a title belt. I think it was the thrill of wrestlers meeting unknown opponents. I mean, really, how often was Bad News Brown going to meet Bret Hart, anyway?
However, it wasn't long that I started noticing that all battle royals consisted of, were worked punches and kicks, while pretending to push some guy over the top rope while really holding him in the ring so that he could be eliminated in the proper order as it was written. So, I turned to tournaments soon after for my wrestlers-fighting-unfamiliar-opponents fix.
The Royal Rumble changed all that. Something about the Rumble almost felt like special moments were destined to happen. The story told by Piper & Flair in RR '92 ... the elimination of Hogan by Sid Vicious, setting up Wrestlemania VIII ... Big Van Vader debuting in RR '96, and his first elimination (Flash Funk), where he caught Funk in a crossbody attempt and just threw Funk from center ring over the top rope to the floor behind ... Austin sitting on the turnbuckles at RR '97, checking his non-watch to see when the next victim would come to the ring ... the finisher melee against the big show by his opponents in RR '04 ... Lesnar eliminating Goldberg ... the Raw vs. Smackdown staredown from last year. Great moments, all.
Mizark~! was the one doing the dirty deeds dirt cheap at that Smackdown battle royal on Friday. He really looked like world champ material; his eliminations were brutal. He took Bobby Lashley to school. He almost killed Brian Kendrick. He almost eliminated Angle by injury. He and Rey Misterio worked extremely well together (considering the "David vs. Goliath" bullshit). He even looked good against Angle.
Mark Henry isn't exactly a guy you think of when you think "great match," but big man worked his ass of in that one, he did.
Our second runner-up is:
(tie) ABYSS/SAMOA JOE
Both guys went out, looked strong against their opponents on Impact last night, and they go into Final Resolution against Rhino & Christopher Daniels (respectively) thirsty for blood.
Yeah, yeah, "but Nate, you're a Samoa Joe mark." But hey, the guy's gold in the ring, man. ROH Champion for what, almost two years? I've got a lot of the shows from 2004, and he's incredible, doing shit that someone his size has no business doing. Plus, he proved last week that he gives great mic. Watch him work ... you tell me. TNA World champ before 2007 ... mark my words.
Our first runner-up:
EDGE
Alright, his fucking Lita in her man-gina aside, I bet Matt Hardy was almost wrist-slasherville after New Year's Revolution Sunday. Honestly, I don't know who to applaud more, Edge or the folks who write this shit.
Edge's victory started off the series of events that made this a pretty good week of wrestling. When I heard about the victory, I thought there was no way that Edge would win; Cena'd pull the superman victory & we'd forget about Edge being MITB holder for 2005. But then, son-of-a-bitch, he comes out, capitalizes on Cena's vulnerability after one of the more brutal gimmick matches in WWF now (but hey, the HITC makes people kill themselves!), and damned if Adam Copeland doesn't walk out the WWF champion.
Hey, Beau, Edge called, said he was still waiting for your legal team to call.
And, your SGM Wrestler Of The Week, for the week of Jan 8 - 15 2006, is:
KURT ANGLE
Hey, logic be damned! I have no idea why Angle all of a sudden jumped to Smackdown, and I have no idea what's going to happen in the advertised match between Michaels & Angle on the next episode of Raw. But I know this: Angle/Benoit for the World title at WM 22 would be probably the best match ever, between the two. And the crowd loved seeing Angle back in his old stomping grounds. When he rolled back in the ring after his win, the crowd wasn't chanting "You suck! ... You suck!" They were chanting "Angle! ... Angle!"
And how fitting, that the championship reigns of the two wrestlers who won their belts at the same PPV should end on the same week. Odd that WWF would go for such a relatively drastic change to their product like that. Actually makes me intrigued to see Royal Rumble 2006.
So, who's buying?
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Apparently Newport ain't the only place with problems
Greenwood, SC - A lone robber picked the wrong day to try his luck at holding up a credit union in Greenwood.
Within minutes of a Friday the 13th alarm, the State Credit Union, at 1000 Montague Ave., was swarmed by law officers, most of whom had their handguns, shotguns and automatic weapons drawn.
Unsure if the robbery suspect was still inside the credit union, and if he was holding employees hostage, a negotiator, shielded by the drive-through ATM, used a bullhorn to call to the drive-up window for anyone inside to pick up the telephone.
Getting no response, SWAT officers cautiously walked past the large windows, around the corner of the building and in through the front door.
The suspect had left, but was seen later at a fast-food and ice cream restaurant where he apparently had tried to stash incriminating evidence. He was arrested without incident, and no one was injured during the robbery and search for the suspect in the busy commercial area.
Credit: The Index Journal
Friday, January 13, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Newport law enforcement under scrutiny
Newport, Tenn, city police have been under investigation since June 2005, because enough reports had been made against the officers conducting illicit activities. These activities include pulling over migrant workers and rolling them for their cash payments, redistributing drugs found from busts, and embezzlement.
According to research, the investigation began following a cock fighting raid, where $40,000 and 144 people were seized by federal and state agents. A few days later, the sheriff's deputy Larry Joe Dodgin was arrested on drug charges, setting up six other police officers to be indicted.
At this point, shit started to pick up:
- July: Daniel Lynn Curenton arrested on charges of money laundering & conspiracy;
the FBI followed up with subpoenas to probe the sheriff's dept's drug fund. - August: School bus driver Dewey Lynn Phillips was arrested for drug trafficking as part of the ongoing FBI probe.
- September: A sherrif's deputy, John W. Black was taken into custody by federal authorities on Sept. 26 on charges of mail fraud and perjury.
- October: Sgt. Patrick Sheldon and Sgt. Jimmy Roach were charged with civil rights violations following a federal grand jury indictment (the aforementioned "rolling the Mexicans").
- December: County Chief Deputy Pat Taylor being taken into custody and arraigned in federal court, alleging that he, with others, "did receive, possess, conceal, store, barter, sell and dispose of certain goods, wares and merchandise of a value of $5,000 or more, which property had crossed a state boundary after having been represented to be stolen and subsequently brought into the state of Tennessee, the property having been represented to the defendants to have been stolen ..."
Now, here we are, 2006; a year described by Mayor Connie Ball as a year of "growth & revitalization." So far, here's what's happened:
- Jan 3: State trooper Kevin Kimbrough is transferred to Hamblen County for his safety, as he was an informant against Johnny Black.
- Jan 4: Inmates, opportunistic as always, start crawling out of the woodwork. A Greene County Jail inmate alleges that, upon transfer to Cocke County, he was denied basic hygienic necessities, then was beaten, choked, and shocked with a police taser by sheriff's deputies who also taunted him with a police dog. The inmate filed a $3 million civil rights lawsuit on Tuesday against the Cocke County Jail, Sheriff D.C. Ramsey, Corrections Chief Michael "Mikey" McCarter, and eight current and former sheriff's deputies and jailers.
- Jan 5: James Mark Thornton, charged on the cocaine trafficking arrest of the school bus driver (Dewey Phillips), agreed to plead guilty to one count of trafficking if he could cooperate with federal authorities.
- Jan 6: Michael McCarter takes the Plain Talk on a tour of the jail, no doubt a PR stunt for the local area.
And, in the biggest fishing expedition, FBI agents have officially named Cocke County sheriff D.C. Ramsey as a target of their investigation.
Now, we covered how opportunistic inmates can get. That doesn't hold a candle to the general population.
- September 2005: Phillip David Lauder of North Carolina entered CVS Pharmacy on Cosby Highway brandishing a shotgun and demanded drugs. During a two-hour standoff, which included law enforcement agencies from Newport, Cocke County and Morristown, Lauder held five people hostage.
- December 2005: A 61yr old woman is a victim of aggravated burglary.
- Jan 6 2006: A 19yr old woman states that she was carjacked and kidnapped to Knoxville, where she escaped and made her way back home.
- Jan 10 2006: Two gunmen entered the Auto Zone & robbed the store and its patrons & employees of a combined total of almost $10000 (including $3000 in cash carried by ONE CUSTOMER, and "a Wal-Mart card with a $20 limit").
The first step in taking over any town is to compromise the police force. Then, as mass confusion sets in and the populace begins to take advantage, the truly ambitious can take over. Newport has opened the floodgate to takeover.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
While we are updating posts.....
Spandau Ballet is STILL musical perfection.
By the way guys, how is our secret "Operation: Polecat" coming?
That Ring of Honor shipment? Yeah, I got that too.
Weekend of Thunder Night 1
and ROH: Gold
....
However, I had ordered "Joe vs. Punk II," which had Samoa Joe & CM Punk in a main event classic, heralded as a must-see match. But for some reason, someone in the ROH shipping department thought I absolutely had to have "Gold." Well, I'll be the judge of that.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
That Deep Discount DVD shipment? Yeah, I got it ...
Communion
Curdled
Dead & Buried
The Haunting (1963)
I Walked With A Zombie/ The Body Snatcher
Lady In A Cage
May
Raw Meat
Spider Baby
Uzumaki
When A Stranger Calls (1979)
Monday, January 09, 2006
Box Office Poison (w/ apologies to Alex Robinson)
(Following info gained from Film Threat.)
Box office leaders: Weekend of Jan 6-8 2006
- Hostel (20.1 mil)
The critics are divided on Eli Roth; to some, he's a true genre director, having scored a major hit with "Cabin Fever." To others, he's a plagiaristic hack who's only saving professional grace is his friendship with Quentin Tarantino. I dunno. However, I've been a sucker for torture flicks here lately (thanks to some unrequited love for Italian horror films that I've developed lately). As long as there's blood, I'll probably watch it. Oh, and titties; gotta have titties. - The Chronicles of Narnia (15.4 mil)
You know, if I wanted to read the bible, I'd read the bible, not some peyote-button gobbling author's "rendition" of the bible. I hate sneaky bastards that try to get you to worship without telling you that upfront. - King Kong (12.4 mil)
You know, if I'm going to spend three hours watching a remake of a classic film, there better be some crossover scenes. I haven't seen anyone yet say that the scene where Kong sticks his finger up Ann's dress and then sniff his finger made it into the film intact. Therefore, not worth 3 hours yet ... - Fun With Dick & Jane (12.2 mil)
Tea Leoni has looked a lot better, and considering that she was a sleepy-eyed skag when she was younger, that ain't saying much. But hey, apparently Jim Carrey needed money to support his drug habit. What, you say? "Jim Carrey has a drug problem?" Wait and see if my prediction doesn't prove correct sometime down the line. - Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (8.3 mil)
Man, Steve Martin used to be funny. This should be the one that he retires on. It's probably not gonna get any better for you. - Munich (7.4 mil)
Leave it to Steven Spielberg to turn the tragedy at the 1972 Olympics into what appears to be an action film. I have a question, though; does he avoid the use of the word "terrorists," like he had the word excised from his film, "E.T.?" - Memoirs Of A Geisha (6.0 mil)
Is it "Gee-sha" or "Gay-sha?" I've heard it both ways, and I believe firmly in the latter. Anyway, this film supposedly involves the intrigue of the politics in the world of the geishas. I would assume that's kinda like "Showgirls," without the tits, the pole licking, or the anal rape. - Rumor Has It ... (5.8 mil)
Chick film about "not being sure I'm ready for marriage?" Requisite mid-level job, yet she lives in an apartment she couldn't possibly afford on her salary? Impossibly attractive woman who somehow has difficulty maintaining romantic relationships? It's great that Jennifer Aniston can break out of her role on "Friends" to chisel her star in film. - Brokeback Mountain (5.7 mil)
Here's my discussion on this film with my dad; take it away, Ralph:
"Is that the western?"
"Yeah, but the cowboys are gay."
"Gay cowboys?! None of the cowboys were gay."
"Well, supposedly it was based on a book about ..."
"I watched westerns as a kid, and I don't believe that John Wayne & Roy Rogers were gay."
"I think I would have stopped with 'Roy,' dad."
"He had Dale Evans."
"Dad, she had a man's name, and she dressed like a cowboy."
"A cowgirl! They're called cowgirls!"
"And they never did explain the relationship between Lone Ranger and Tonto ..."
"Son ..."
"I mean, what does kemosabe really mean?"
"We're no longer having this discussion." - The Family Stone (4.6 mil)
Ah, Sarah Jessica Parker. One of Hollywood's most treasured elite: the horsefaced actress. However, this film might be worth seeing for the line Luke Wilson says; "You gotta let your freak flag fly." Except, they show that in the ads for the film. So we're done here.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Getting my paper up
O paperwork, how I loathe thee.
That X-Division 6-man match on Impact last night ... awesome, as a definition, doesn't quite cover it. Aries/Shelley/Strong vs. Styles/Sabin/Daniels was definitely an early forerunner for the ever-debatable "match of the year" talk. Makes me want to see Aries & Strong vs. Roode & Williams (of Team Canada).
I read an article on MSNBC.com about the movement of therapeutic services to online provision. I have too much reliance on people's body language, behavior in session, and tone of voice to be able to pull something like that off. But, when you consider the whole "dodo bird effect" of therapy, I guess it all works out the same in the end.
I'm feeling sluggish, and my ass has adhered to the chair for too long. I think I'll either pop in "King Kong Escapes," or crack this leatherbound edition of the Complete Sherlock Holmes. One way or th'other, I'm out like Janet's right tittie.
"At the end of the game, the king & the pawn go back in the same box." - Italian proverb
Saturday, January 07, 2006
The Lost Weekend News: 1/1/06 - 1/7/06
Sunday, 1 Jan 2006
Hmm ... what happened today?
Oh, yeah. It was New Year's Day. Yeah, I hope that worked out for everybody.
Monday, 2 Jan 2006
The first *live* Monday Night Raw chat over at Southernfried was aborted, due to faulty chat room mechanics that, admittedly, probably hadn't been utilized in about 4-5 years. But there's a new one ready to go, so hopefully this will get underway next week.
Of course, I had the day off, since state and federal government gave the day after the holiday to us. Which was good; spent that time relaxing, chilling at home, reading some tales by Joe Lansdale. That's one wacky dude; pick up a book of his. Oh, any of them, but for newbs I'd recommend one of his short story anthologies, like "High Cotton" or "Bumper Crop."
Tuesday, 3 Jan 2006
On The Radar:
- Actually, nothing I was even remotely interested in came out this week, DVD or CD.
- "JSA 81," "Essential Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe" (despite a bookstore release date of Jan 18), "Iron Man 5" (only 5 months late), and "Punisher 29" (which I may be dropping) came out to comic shops this week. I should check out the Kirkman book, "Marvel Zombies," 'cause the premise is so dumb (the heroes of the Marvel Universe become members of the living dead) that it might actually swing past the bar into damned entertaining territory.
- On the horizon, I'm still eagerly awaiting my 12 DVD shipment from Deep Discount DVD, as well as my 2 DVD order from Ring Of Honor (Joe vs. Punk II & Weekend of Thunder I).
Wednesday, 4 Jan 2006
I love the small Southern town mentality.
I went to lunch with a colleague - a young black female - and she and I were seated in the back, near the kitchen, where the wait staff proceeded to ignore our needs, as well as our order requests. Therefore, we proceeded to ignore the tip. So thank you, Ruby Tuesdays; due to your policy of employing retarded hillbillies, I have just decreased my dining options to the tune of one.
Your HSIOW thought of today:
Work has been whooping my ass this week, so much so that I hopped on the benadryl rickshaw. So my thought is this: "Next fortune cookie I get, I'm gonna see how much better it sounds if I add 'in the crotch' to the end."
Thursday, 5 Jan 2006
Blogger makes a friend.
Trust me, this is one to read. I flipped through some of the comments, and I was surprised at folks that were agreeing with this shithead. Maybe I just don't put that much stock in my blog community ... I loves me some SGM, but I don't LOOOOVES me some SGM, nah'm'sayin'?
Friday, 6 Jan 2006
 | I won this bad boy on ebay for $33.00. MARVEL: Absorbing Man Bust MSRP: $45.00 Release Date: October 2005 Dimensions: Over 6" tall Sculpted By: Jim Maddox Produced By: Bowen Designs |
Saturday, 7 Jan 2006
- Stumbled across this bit of wrestling info, on TNA day:
"If you go to Abyss' website, he is auctioning off the shirt he wore at Turning Point for the Barbed Wire Massacre. "
You know, I can probably think of a better way for you to get hepatitis or some other assorted bloodborne pathogens than starting your bid at $75 for it. Hell, the Native Americans got it wrapped in blankets for free.
- Some nasty bastard spit in my face when I went out on call for the ER tonight. This drunk, coke-addled motherfucker told cops, who picked him up on public intoxication, that he was going to kill himself if he went to jail. Instead of calling his fucking bluff, they brought him to the ER for possible hospitalization. Look, if I hospitalized every person who said they'd kill themselves over going to jail, I'd hospitalize every single one of them, because then they'd all say it to get out of jail, scot-free.
When I told the cops that he's no more suicidal than I am, and told them that he can use the jail time to sober up, that piece of fucking shit spits at me, calling me a "cracker." His saliva globule just grazed my left cheek. I told him that if he had done that out on the street, I'd have kicked his fucking ass. As it was, I charged him for assault, and I had two of the 'wood's finest as witnesses.
I had to shower, in the ER. I told the doctor to run a blood test (dude was hemoglobinly clean, thank god, or I seriously would have killed him). I was toweling off when the hospital administrator comes in, legal advisor in tow. They basically explained to me that I could press charges, but that the hospital would not get involved (therefore, no free legal counsel for me). They had me review & sign a number of forms (including one that I did not sign, a statement that I was not injured during duties performed for the hospital). An hour and a half worth of forms later, I was out.
Top 5 __________ of the week: Hip Hop Jams
1: "Today's Your Day" by Fatlip
2: "Bring The Funk Back" by Beatnuts
3: "MC Material" by Chali 2na
4: "Rock Co.Kane Flow" by De La Soul f. MF Doom
5: "Handle Your Business" by Xzibit f. Defari
Week 1 of '06 is down and done, suckas. 51 more to go.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Today is ... Fantasy Book Friday!
(Now exclusive to SGM!)
Today's match-up is ...
(WCW, 1993)
-vs-
Brock Lesnar
(WWF, 2003)
Thursday, January 05, 2006
One of life's little pleasures
I really get a kick out of those moments when I'm watching "World's Wildest Police Chases," and they play a video shot from chasing a miscreant through a county nearby.
"Laurens county. This officer has pulled over a driver with a broken taillight. What he doesn't know is that the driver has a meth lab in the trunk of his car. When the officer notices the driver acting nervous, he asks the driver to step out of the car."
(The car takes off. The officer runs to the cruiser.)
"This driver has no problem breaking speed limits ..."
Officer: "This guy's a maniac!"
(The car almost spins off the road in a sharp turn.)
"... to get his point across."
Officer: "This guy just doesn't care about anything."
(The car zips down a road, where a sign reads "Greenwood 8 miles.")
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Ladies and gents, our next Summit
We should get the band together and go check out Andre: Heart of a Giant at the local cinema.
The summary:
A poor young farm boy from Grenoble, France struggles with his ever growing proportions. With obstacles multiplying as he gets larger. The teenager leaves the village he grew up in and uses his gigantic size to his advantage. He grows and grows and grows into one of the most recognized sports figures of the twentieth century earning him the name 'Andre the Giant Eighth Wonder of the World'.
Check out the actor playing Terry Funk ... makes me want to rent "Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras" to view an example of his body of work.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Weird shower thought
Freaky thoughts pass through my head when I shower in the morning, and this one was the one that caught me this morning:
What if weather reports had a greater influence on our culture? Like, when a weatherman reports that "the high is going to be in the 70s," then we all have to break out our wide collar shirts, bell bottom jeans, and "Peace Not War" buttons. The colder the weather, the farther back in time our culture has to adhere ... so when highs reach the 30s, we'd all be worrying about Capone & the Depression.
Of course, hardest hit would be the areas in the far north during the winter, when temperatures hit the negatives ... then we'd all be running around like cavemen, hitting women in the head with clubs and carrying them by the hair to the huts.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Haiku Wrestling Match Review
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena - First Blood, WWF Raw 1/2/06
Cena plays hero
As boos rain down from the fans,
but he bleeds real good.
(And might I say, as I watch more ads for the DVD, the chick that sleepyhead Vince Vaughn gets into in the movie "Wedding Crashers" ... something about her makes me wanna do nefarious things to her nethers.)
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Resolutions
I usually don't make resolutions, other than "don't drop dead this year," but I feel like I need to get some things straightened out this year.
1. Take better care of myself ...
- financially (watch spending, stick very close to my $30-40 weekly spending limit, and deviate from that rarely)
- spiritually (attend church more often)
- physically (eat healthier/less, watch unhealthy snacking, drink more water)
- emotionally (wind DOWN sometimes .. That might mean *gasp* not worrying about work at least one day a week, and maybe actually watching a movie or playing a video game or reading one of these 1 million books)
- professionally (stay caught up on paperwork at work, organize the DBT program more effectively, research ways to improve my provision of mental health services)
- develop a routine, but don’t adhere to it too rigidly
- trim the unnecessary
- organize things better
There. Now, c'mon 2006 .... show me what'cha got.
A partial list of people I may (or may not) thank in my dissertation
NP: Epic -- Faith No More.
Rather than actually finishing Chapter 6, I'm looking way ahead to the day when the project is finally completed and sent to the graduate school/bindery to be immortalized forever as a piece of academic production far exceeding anything required by an engineering or science degree. An important part of the process is finishing the acknowledgements page where you thank everyone that helped you along the way. Below is a partial list of who I am going to thank and why, in no particular order.
My next door neighbor from Tennessee -- Every Christmas she bakes a chocolate cake for my family. A large part of that comes back to Florida with me for the start of the Spring Semester. I will never have a better dessert until I eat from the table of the Lord.
Ken Kennedy -- The WWE rookie sensation helped me more than he will ever know when, in the midst of a writer's block in Chapter 3, I played his intro video (complete with the cry of MIIIISSSSSSTTTTTTEEEEERRRRRR KENNEDY) and suddenly found myself able to write again.
The guy who owns www.radioparadise.com -- Many an hour has been spent listening to this self-described eclectic rock station. God Bless Free Streaming Radio.
The staff of the Downtown Starbucks. Being surrounded by hippies (as I am writing this, there are three people in the store with mohawks) always makes one smarter and doubtless helped to deepen my analysis at critical junctures. There is also a mathematical limit to the number of toffee almond bars a person can eat and still fit into his jeans.
Arthur Sulzberger -- the late publisher of the New York Times provided me (in the form of a letter he wrote in 1956) with the smoking gun I needed to prove that I was on the right track.
Thomas E. Dewey -- The two-time presidential loser liked to write letters in code to his associates. I guess he thought he missed his calling to be an NSA agent or something. In the process, he gave Robert Taft the designation "G," making Taft the "Original G." Word yo.
The staff of Science Gone Mad -- Half-eaten sandiwches, Rickey Henderson on a Coke binge, the pterodactyl from Joust...the hits just keep on coming.
