I love the NBA playoffs, 'cause I'm a fan of useless trivia. "The Bulls are the fourth team to have 7 fouls in the first 3 minutes of the fourth quarter, with a 3 point deficit."1 What the hell kind of autistic person keeps up with that kind of shit?
1Not a real statistic, but the info is just as off-the-wall.
Yeah, they didn't want to keep talking about Dwayne Wade's shoulder injury, but hey, at least he still has Charles Barkley's fave five to shoot for, 'cause this year's finals are ghost.
Miami, you have been *swept*.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
[NBA] CHI 92 - MIA 79; CHI wins series 4-0
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #21
Sonic The Hedgehog 2
This is my favorite of the Sonic franchise, and it has nothing to do with Miles "Tails" Prower. And really, what's the point of bothering with a full name if you're only ever going to refer to the character by his nickname? It's like calling Sonic, Charlie "Sonic" Wilson.
The Spin Attack is what elevates this one, the revving-up attack that made its series debut in this game. Plus, that Casino Night zone was a big inspiration for that Sonic Spinball that I couldn't play well to save my freakin' life. Everytime I play that level, I can easily nab thousands of gold rings on that level alone.
Here's a site with maps of the zones that you play through in Sonic 2. At the end of every level, you advance by jumping on a lever that will release all of these little woodland creatures from a cage. It's never made exactly clear what Dr. Robotnik's evil plan is, that it requires the imprisonment of rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks. But, we are talking about a game involving a blue hedgehog in red sneakers, so never mind me.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #22
X-Men
Mix a "Final Fight" style of gameplay with the ability to have up to four of the six members of the X-Men playing at once (the game's cabinet was huge), and you've got a helluva game. I'd love to have played this game with three other people, 'cause I think the multiplayer aspect, that would have been the stuff.
Your level bosses are Pyro, the Blob, Wendigo, the White Queen, the Juggernaut (bitch!), Master Mold, Mystique, Magneto, and for some reason, three Egyptian statues. The only boss battle cry that stood out for me was "Nothing can hurt the Blob!" A warning that still serves me well to this day. Paperwork got you down? Yeah, well, nothing can hurt the Blob! Amen brother.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Satire: Oil prices skyrocket
Houston, TX (AP)
Oil prices rose dramatically in early trading after supplies were disrupted at a Valero station in east Piney Flats, TN.
The event took place around 11:30 am EDT when Ida Lou Farber of Chuckey, TN was pumping gas into her 1991 Chevrolet Blazer. A faulty overflow valve on the fuel nozzle caused Farber, who had turned her back to dispose of some trash, to pump nearly one quarter of a gallon onto the concrete.
"I should have been more careful," Farber said, "but the Pal's hot dog wrapper I had tossed in the back seat was starting to smell. By the time I threw it away it was too late and the gas had started to spill."
The reaction was immediate in oil markets throughout the world.
In London, benchmark Brent Crude rose nearly $2 to $69.54. U.S. crude increased slightly less than $1.50 to $67.32. Oil prices have risen nearly $20 from its year low in January.
"Supplies are running very tight," said Leroy Parnell Johnson, an analyst with Goldman Stears. "With Nigerian elections over and tensions appearing to calm in Iran, even the slightest disruption is needed to prevent prices from dropping to normal levels.
"Today, Ms. Farber gave us that disruption."
With gasoline demand steadily on the rise in the face of unusually high gasoline prices, even the slightest waste stands to send the market on a steep climb.
Oil had been trading down 14 cents before the incident in Piney Flats. They had risen slightly earlier in the session on fears that a Ford Explorer driven by John Wayne Robinson of Salina, KS might have a leaky fuel line.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
This makes me physically ill
So they are making a new Batman movie.
I really liked Batman Begins. After Joel Schumacher ruined Tim Burton's Batman franchise (Alicia Silverstone anyone?), I was glad to see the series get a reboot. Christian Bale played a good Batman, although I thought Michael Keaton made the character more human. Katie Holmes was marginal as the love interest, but the supporting cast of Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman was top notch.
They are currently filming the next Batman movie, tentatively titled The Dark Knight, and I am scared that they are falling into the same trap as before. Sure, Bale is back, as are the supporters. Katie is out (apparently Tom Cruise won't let her out of the house until she becomes a 33rd degree Mason or whatever) and Maggie Gyllenhaal is in and that is ok. They even added Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent, taking over the role played by Billy Dee Williams (?!?!) in the first one and, later, Tommy Lee Jones as a different version of the character. And then I read who the bad guy was.
On the upside, the bad guy is the Joker.
On the downside, the Joker is Heath Ledger.
I hope the studio releases a trailer very, very early so all the YouTubers get their Brokeback Batman videos out of the way.
What on earth are they doing? I hope he wasn't the best that they could find, because I can think of five more actors who would be a better Joker than that guy. Maybe the director knew that no one can live up to Nicholson's Joker, so they cast Ledger as a throwaway who wouldn't take away from the rest of the cast.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #23
FIFA 2006
Again, I hand this one over to Ron Beauregard, simply 'cause he's the soccer expert:
FIFA 2006 is the latest version of EA's proper football, or soccer, franchise. As with all EA sports titles, the programmers have devoted an intense amount of energy on making things as realistic as possible. The game boasts 21 full leagues and, according to the website, about 10,000 players. The new Pro Soccer Evolution titles have slightly better gameplay, especially on the mechanics of free kicks and strikes, and better graphics, but has far fewer teams and players to choose from. FIFA can not be topped on its authenticity.
To give you a better sense of the depth of FIFA, the game mode includes every team in the English league system. This would be equivalent to giving us all pro baseball teams down to Class-A. This is especially handy for the games career mode. Here, you are given 15 full seasons to become the best manager you can be. Each season begins with a set of expectations from your board of directors. Meet them and your managerial rankings go up. Fail a majority of them and you get the sack. You have a good deal of control over your budget, including ticket prices, player wages, and staff upgrades. Teams in League 2, the English basement, can be promoted to League 1 after the season if they come in in the top 2 of the league or win a special playoff. So, in theory, you can take a team from the bottom of the ladder and make them into European champions in five seasons. The transfer market is highly detailed and you can go "international" and steal players from other leagues. The transf er engine is also pretty realistic, except for the time when Arsenal offered my 46 million dollars for West Ham's Dean Ashton. I turned that down for fear that it would make my PS2 explode.
I have always been reluctant to buy these games that come out every year because I don't know if they are worth it. FIFA 06 improved a great deal from 05 in the shooting and free kick control (still not as good as the competition though) and worked out most of the bugs. There are still things to improve though. It sucks that the team ratings (1 to 5 stars) are fixed even as a team improves. I'm currently playing with League 2 Swindon Town on the moderate difficulty setting. I'm crusing to first in the league and have won the League Cup and could win two more trophies. My rating has stuck at 2 stars and has made it impossible to transfer any decent players. The ratings and transfer probabilities should factor in current form so it makes it easier to build a team when the wins are coming. Conversely, if form drops players should be ready to get out of dodge. If they fix that and some of the mechanics, it could be the perfect soccer game.
The game is extremely valuable for football fans whose teams have taken a turn for the worse. My team, West Ham United, have had a season reminiscent of the Exorcist 3. Tons of talent. International players. A team owner loaded with cash. But they are currently sitting in 19th and about to be dropped to the Championship (i.e. AAA). Except on FIFA, where they are 3 time defending European champions. In reality, Dean Ashton had his leg broken in a training session for England when Sean Wright-Phillips slid in and made a bad tackle. In the FIFA 06 world, he has averaged 40 goals a season over the last three years. Marlon Harewood, who has played like an absolute donkey this year and is no longer lining up for the team, has numbers near that. FIFA is a good investment just for how things might have been.
That has singlehandedly put all of my write-ups to shame, to shame I say.
News for violent videogame lovers
In the recent Game Informer - the one with "Grand Theft Auto IV" all over the front - there's news of a sequel, for PS2, of a game that I loved the hell outta when it first came out.
"Manhunt 2" will be coming out in the summer. With recent events in the news, I'm expecting it will be welcomed with open arms.
Hip yourself to the jive that was Manhunt 1.
Roger Ebert's review of "Elephant"
Among other things ...
"Let me tell you a story. The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. "Wouldn't you say," she asked, "that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?" No, I said, I wouldn't say that. "But what about 'Basketball Diaries'?" she asked. "Doesn't that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?" The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it's unlikely the Columbine killers saw it.
The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. "Events like this," I said, "if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn't have messed with me. I'll go out in a blaze of glory.
In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of "explaining" them. I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy."
Sunday, April 22, 2007
April's mixtape is ready; don't sleep.
Took long enough ...
Did something new, for the sake of time ... no mad scientist intro, no "Mad Scientific Production" outro. Please voice your opinions on whether these should be left out in the future or if I should bring 'em back. I think I'm going all instrumental next session.
0:00 - 1:00: Man, I used to watch Spider-Man & Hulk on NBC every Saturday; now I'm all misty eyed and shit.
1:00 - 4:26: "My words demand attention, like a terrorist with nuclear weapons."
4:26 - 7:56: "It's not just my pride. It's just 'til these tears have dried."
7:56 - 10:24: "I seen his feet, they both lefty; he's steppin' half-correctly."
10:24 - 13:13: Some anime shit; I think there's ninjas and shit in it.
13:13 - 15:54: "A beggin' phone call starts with 'Please.'"
15:54 - 19:54: "Don't get it twisted; I told you that we top-of-the-line designed, realistic."
19:54 - 20:50: There's this scene in the movie "28 Days Later" where this dude is walking through the deserted London streets ... this is from that. "Hello!"
20:50 - 25:36: "When your hands get dirty, nobody knows you at all."
25:36 - 30:39: "Go 'head and marry, don'cha wait on me; might not want'cha when I go free."
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Speaking as a psychologist, fuck Cho Seung-hui
And good job, George Bush the junior.
On the heels of recent news that this Korean fucker got his guns off of Ebay, capable of holding 30 rounds apiece, and following Bravo's airing of "Bowling for Columbine," our president puts all but the blame on the mental health system for not being strong enough.
Heh ... heh heh ... BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Right, right. Look, I love my fucking career, if not always my job, but I'll be the first to say that it's not a perfect science. Here's a quote to live by: "Psychology cannot foretell the occurrence of fortuitous encounters, however sophisticated its knowledge of human behavior becomes." - Albert Bandura
This asshole - Cho, not GWB, haw - went to a hospital, and no doubt was asked the usual round of questions, and I'm sure he went under the usual scrutiny. However, he can't be hospitalized forever, and if he eventually looked like he was no longer at risk, then he'd be released from the hospital. I'm very afraid that this will lead to a return to the warehousing of the mentally ill, where we stick anyone that just looks funny in the hospital and leave them under the pretenses of "treatment." If Cho was just arbitrarily stuck in a hospital until he "wised up" and accepted treatment, we'd have a students at VA Tech still alive, and the ACLU & Bush clamoring for the man's release because he'd be considered an illegal detainee. And don't even get me started on the F'NACLU.
Here's what I work with, and how I do: I have people who consider suicide constantly; that's why their in treatment. I could call them right now and ask them, "Hey, thought about suicide today?" They'd say, "Sure do." But, and here's the thing, I could them ask, "Are you still going to work today?" "Are you still doing well in your college classes?" They'd say, "Yeah," and add their individual subjective opinions. Following Cho's shit, and mental health "reform" in the face of needed gun control (you get a gun on Ebay, you got a need for gun control), I would have to stick that store clerk, that student, that relatively healthy & recovering person in a fucking hospital where all that will happed is, that they'll be looked at (literally) until they're stable.
At work, there's been a battle going on about a recent change in forms. In the face of astounding amounts of paperwork, the state DMH increased the initial assessment form from 4 pages to 8 pages. Included are questions of extreme relevance, like, where the client was born and who raised them, questions about their religious slant, and important questions about their sexual interest. We've been fighting against this as a permanent fixture in our diagnostic toolkit. But, because of this fine scope being put against the mental health sector, we its workers have no choice now. In fact, just opening a chart in the mental health clinic may be the hardest thing that I will have to do at work. But that'll be okay, 'cause over half of my clients will be in the hospital, 'cause they just happened to be blowing off steam, saying, "I just wish I was dead," and BAM! Into the hospital they go.
I just can't wait for the abusers of the system to catch on. The disability seeker, the prescription drug addict ... "If I don't get my chart open, I might just be like that little Virginia Tech boy what killed them people." You think that doesn't happen, but when I have a person saying that her paraplegic overweight antisocial brother - who shits on himself when he's mad at his caretaker mother and downs the LD50 pain medicine - might be another "Anna Nicole," you're liable to hear anything.
So, yes, Mr. President, the key to better gun control is improving the mental health system. Yes, Columbia, the key to improve employee morale is a 13 page opening assessment battery (which used to be 9 pages). Yes, my clients current and future, as good a therapist as I may be could possibly be curtailed by forces outside of my own control.
God Bless the USF'NA.
[NBA] CHI 96 - MIA 91
Ongoing coverage inside!
2:17, 1st quarter: This is the first time I've noticed that the Heats have two first round draft picks of 1992: Shaq & Alonzo Mourning, who was at that time chosen by the Charlotte Hornets (for that great underrated team that he was part of with Mugsy Bogues and Larry Johnson).
1:16, 1st: Tyrus Thomas, rookie that the announcers are really talking up, in for the Bulls. 28-25, Heat.
At the end of the 1st, Duhon to Wallace for a nice assist to rein in the score to 28-27.
Back for the 2nd, and Antoine Walker is a three point throwing whore (11:15). Tighten up the damn D, I'd say.
10:20, 2nd: Ben Gordon (Bulls) says, "SHAKE & BAKE! THAT JUST HAPPENED!" But, at 9:44, can't hit a three pointer.
8:44, 2nd: Dwayne Wade's "5" may be hot, but how he accomplishes getting his fouls called on opposing players is beyond me.
(Those NBA commercials with the swing-singing cheerleaders make every single one of those bitches less attractive ... does that make me gay?
And those DirectTV commercials with the actors that break from the way the movie is suposed to go, to advertise HDTV ... cree-py!)
8:43, 2nd: Fuck Dwayne Wade.
6:37, 2nd: Dang, Deng is having a serious cold streak. 37-35, Heat.
5:52, 2nd: tied at 37. T/o by Miami. And my cats be fucking; go on, Rocky, get it get it!
(Seriously, how old is Pat Riley?)
4:37, 2nd: As effective as I'm sure it must be, is Shaq's main offensive weapon a two-handed dunk? Is that all the game he has? Ah, but it might be all he needs.
James Posey catches a T. And Chi-town hates that mufukka.
2:58, 2nd: Wallace, says get your shit outta here, and Bulls now lead 45-44; 1st three pointer Bulls have made all game.
Deng has teeth painted on his mouthpiece ... I think. If not, that's one yukmouth dude.
1:05, 2nd: Great D, 47-44 Chicago. Sefolosha seems to be gumming up Wade's game ... and the announcers catch onto my vibe.
.5, 2nd: Thomas to Sefolosha for the final basket; Chicago rookies stepping up.
Buzz, and it's 49-46 Chicago. And there's that "Right Now" commercial ... I can't believe ABC's happy with that, ugh.
Back on ...
11:01, 3rd: Hinrich hit with a T and hits 4 fouls. So Wallace better watch his ass.
10:48, 3rd: Apparently, Miami is gonna pussy their way through this next quarter, drawing fouls for their numbers. I hope that changes...
9:56, 3rd: Nocioni looks good to pick up the gap left by Hinrich (I keep wanting to write in Heidenreich).
8:15, 3rd: Shaq giving good assist now, which must indicate that Wallace is doing his job right.
Sefolosha playing solid D against Wade. He's got his number, Wade is having to hand off to his teammates, and a few turnovers have already been handed out. Interesting part, Wade can't answer with defense as good.
5:33, 3rd: Offensive foul, Dwayne Wade, his third. If Sefolosha ends up like John Starks (running hot & cold on defense), I'll be displeased. 63-55, Chicago.
(Which came first, "Burt Reynolds" by Jake Palumbo or the Dominos Pizza commercials?)
4:04, 3rd; Now it's the Bulls playing pussy ball, drawing tons of offensive fouls. Sefolosha looks a lot like one of my favorite currents, Tayshaun Prince, in his game. Looking real good.
1:16, 3rd: Damn fine defensive playing, Bulls up 70-59. I love, LOVE good defense, I can't express that enough. T/o, Heat.
Going into the 4th, Shaq's in some foul trouble, which is promising for the Bulls, but they've got three of their starters in foul trouble, incl. Hinrich.
10:54, 4th: Thomas (Bulls) kinda fizzling; might be playoff rookie jitters.
9:29, 4th: I swear, has Gary Payton played on every team in the NBA? He's the Michael Caine of the NBA.
T/o Heat, as Shaq now has 5 fouls.
8:09, 4th: Deng pulls up short on a 2pter that's a foot away from 3pt land; these foreigners on the Bulls need to adapt to US ball. Tons of 2pt shots could have easily been 3pt FGs.
Deng at the line: 78-70 Chicago.
"Posey sucks, Posey sucks!"
6:20, 4th: And Miami with a good scoring run there, forces a Chicago timeout, bringing Chicago's lead to 6.
(I'm surprised that the Gatorade commercial makes no mention of the NCAA basketball championship U-Florida won this year. And I don't watch college ball.)
6:02, 4th: Shit, Chicago can't make nothing fall. Damn damn damn.
5:10, 4th: Ooh, the announcers getting bitchy with each other over a foul made by Antoine Walker. 79-76 Chicago.
4:58, 4th: Wallace proves the old adage, "The best defensive players need a big ass." Boxing out on offense, and landing on for defense. T/o @ 4:24, as it's an 8 pt game again for Chicago.
3:19, 4th: O'neal's fouled out; Nocioni scored and gets the foul shot in. 87-79, Chicago.
1:51, 4th: Goddamn, Chicago, white hot with a great scoring run. 92-83, Chicago. They looked like they were going to squander all that game that they played between the middle of the 2nd through to the 3rd, but they're bringing it back.
(I took my group to see Deja Vu, which is coming out on DVD soon; good movie, I didn't know going into it that it was a sci-fi type of film, I was thinking straight detective fiction.)
1:41, 4th: 3 by Williams, Heat back to within 6. 1:22, Heat w/in 4, Sefolosha still doing a fine defensive job on Wade though. Told you, sweet game.
38 seconds, 1pt game. Fuuuck. 18.9, foul on Gordon, 92-91 Chicago. Again, fuuuck. Ben Gordon drops the foul shots, 94-91; t/o by Miami.
Here's my prediction: Chicago fouls, gets the ball, then runs out the time. Wade with 3 ... out of bounds, Chicago ball.
Foul at 9.8. Nocioni drops his 2pts, and Chicago takes it home.
Sonuva, that was some game! This ongoing coverage thing, a nice experiment, but man, this wasn't the game to try it on. Wow. Game 2 is Tues @ 8PM on TNT.
NBA Playoffs start today!
Pistons to win it all! Dewey defeats Truman!!
I'm still pleased with the Pistons, since their relatively surprise shock win of the 2004 Finals against the sweet blessed Bryant-Oneal Lakers. I hate that they lost Ben Wallace, and pissed that they didn't take the opportunity to trade technical foul machine Rasheed Wallace (trading one to keep the other would have been where I went).
This early in the playoffs, the high ranked teams will no doubt defeat their lower ranked counterparts (Mavs vs. Warriors? Right ...). But my money on the sweet series is Heat vs. Bulls. In fact, as I write this, there's about 3:45 to go in the first, and it's a good solid game so far. It's always too hard to tell who's gonna do what in the first periods of games usually, but so far this looks good. Wallace the former facing up against Shaq looks like someone, maybe both, will be dumping on the Icy Hot tonight.
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #24
Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
(a/k/a Zelda 3)
"With the exception of Zelda II, every Zelda has been a chart-busting classic. I was never able to get into any thing released on the N64 and beyond, because they were often long, convoluted and boring, but I played a shitload of I and III and I'd give Zelda III the nod because of the graphics and the opening scenes in the night rain." - Rev. Joshua
I never had the opportunity to play any of the original Zeldas, 'cause we was poor; in fact, the first Zelda game I had the opportunity to play was "Ocarina of Time." The game is available now for the Game Boy Advance, and I might have to venture out and grab a copy of it. Meanwhile, I did some research and found the following interesting information ...
- In a contest, Nintendo Power magazine reader Chris Houlihan was chosen to have his name attached to a secret room in Zelda 3. The room contains 45 blue rupees (the official currency of Hyrule) and a plaque with a greeting from Senor Houlihan himself. According to Wikipedia, the level is removed from later ports of the game.
- Apparently, according to Gamespot, this game took place before the events of the first Legend of Zelda game for the NES. And, according to some of the walkthroughs of Zelda 3 that I read through, combined with my own experiences playing the N64 game, this game falls in a time frame AFTER "Ocarina of Time." Not knowing much about subsequent games in the Zelda series, that would seem to indicate that the Legend of Zelda series is probably the first backwards sequential game franchise.
- From what I've gathered, part of this game's appeal might have been the return to form from the first game. Zelda II was a side-scrolling monstrosity that was poorly received. Zelda III returned to the top-down perspective, a style of gameplay that in no small part certainly influenced games like Baldur's Gate, Diablo, Champions of Norrath, and more too numerous to mention. I remember playing Zelda II ... ugh.
- The Master Sword is apparently the greatest thing since the word "great." It is the only way to kill Ganon. The sword makes its debut here, although some argue that the Master Sword was the sword used in the first game. But I think that's just bullshit.
- The Japanese version of the game had to be somewhat altered to remove any religious references, apparently a big no-no back in the old Nintendo days. Symbols like ankhs, wizards who used to be priests, references to gods ... uh-uhn, pal, that shit don't fly.
- The cartridge was an eight MB monster, which was more than enough memory at the time to hold both the massive Light and Dark Worlds through in which Link has to journey.
Anyway, I'm convinced. Any game that can make a superstar out of a guy named Houlihan, and has that bomb ass image of lil' Link getting resurrected like Jesus by some old dude, that's a game to play.
Friday, April 20, 2007
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #25
Maniac Mansion
Creepy. Seriously, wtf? You put the hamster in a jar, put the jar in the microwave, nuke the hamster, give it to the Nazi alien and he kills you. - Rev. Joshua
I always liked those adventure games where you could select from a predetermined list of commands, and your choice would play out on the screen with the characters you chose. Commodore Shitsy-4 didn't have enough of 'em. Being a big fan of text games like "Zork," I used to love being able to play these when I'd hang out over my friend Sam's house on a lounging weekend, 'cause he had the IBM. And the original NES.
According to my memory, each character had different character traits, and the game had a few different endings, all of which we'd try to access through our gameplay. Man, those were the days, back when nothing could bother me and the world was wide open for a little g with more than half a brain to take over the cosmos; now it's all paperwork and friends who all live out of town and this abrasion in my throat that I got from my ERCP that makes me taste blood every time I swallow food. Goddamn "Maniac Mansion."
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Have a job offer
Still waiting on the formal offer letter to come in and I can't release any details. Suffice it to stay that I have an opportunity that is beyond what I could have imagined. I will be staying at my current university and have gotten a really, really good offer. Again, more details like dollars have to be worked out, but it sounds realy good.
Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #26
I don't have even a remote knowledge of this game, so I hand this one over to gamer & pal Ron Beauregard:
Klax was released by Atari games as an arcade stand-up in 1990. Attempting to capitalize on the Tetris craze, Klax flipped the script and turned the soon-to-be-traditional puzzle stacker into a semi-3d product.
You start with a blank playfield that is five bricks wide by five bricks high. Different colored bricks come toward you on a conveyor belt and you must catch them with a sliding platform, and then deposit them in the playfield. When five bricks of the same color are lined up either vertically, horizontally, or diagonally, they disapper. You must complete a certain number of these "Klaxes" to clear the level. You may hold five bricks at a time (giving an added strategy dimension) and you must keep bricks from falling off the belt. Players are allocated a certain number of drops which varies by level. Once those drops are used up, the game ends.
Klax was one of the first puzzle games that I can remember in the arcade. It had a great tagline ("It is the nineties and there is time for Klax") that was second only to Revolution X's "Remember, music is the weapon." The game lured you in with a few easy levels at the beginning but was frantic by level six. It arrived at a time when the cookie-cutter side-scroller (a la Bad Dudes and Double Dragon) was falling out of favor, and fighters (such as Street Fighter and the MK series) had yet to make a huge impact. The game is infintely replayable and downright fun.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Thirty-three dead in mass shooting at VA Tech
Call me an asshole if you will, but do you think Don Imus secretly wishes that he could have just, y'know, waited about a week or two?
Here's a running timeline on all the news, as it happens.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
The SGM Super 30: Video Game #27
I was never really one to got into Tekken, so my write-up skills are probably not best used here.
However, I did whip around and find this review on All Game:
"Anyone familiar with the series will immediately be right at home with Tekken 3, as it merely refines many aspects of the second Tekken. Many people watch the less experienced players take on the Tekken series, see the button mashing, and believe that this is all that the game has to offer. That is most definitely not so." [more]
Friday, April 13, 2007
When it rains
it pours
My boss told me that the one year contract I have is just that, a one-year contract. After the first week of July, I will no longer be employed. I have a few job apps out here and there, and one very promising opportunity that might be coming up, but other than that it is little.
I ask for your prayers (even those who don't believe) because times seem bleak for me now. Pray that God will guide me and open doors for the future.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
About Head-On vs. Truth.com commercials
I went with Head-On commercials on this one, 'cause not only were the originals just horrible bits of aural torture, but the ones that they've released recently, making fun of the original commercials ... seriously, who talks like that? At no point have I ever turned to anyone and used my deepest, gnarliest, more Jewish voice to say, "Head-Ahn! Apply directly ta fowhead! Head-Ahn! I hate yer commercials but yer prahduck's th' best!!!!"
Although ... that nappy headed, Coke bottle glasses wearing jackass who shops for non-lethal bullets and thinks that mattresses should have warning labels is a front runner, for real. I bet he'd snort a lit cigarette for five grand more than truth.com pays him.
The SGM Super 30 Video Game #28
Anyway, this is the inaugural wrestling title released using the legendary AKI grappling engine. The engine is perfect in its simplicity; press one button to punch & kick, press the other button to grapple. Tap said button for a weak grapple, opening up four moves, or press the button longer for a stronger grapple, opening up four more powerful moves. There hadn't been this level of easy interface since Pro Wrestling for the NES.
The beauty of the engine was that, for the first time, a moveset could be used to develop a pure wrestling strategy to your gameplay; use a moveset to weaken a wrestler's back to set up Benoit's crossface, or attack the opponents head to set up DDP's diamond cutter.
There may be better games that AKI put out, but this was the one that revolutionized the way wrestling games were developed. It woke up the industry and players alike.
A bit of trivia: This is the only AKI game to feature Ric Flair and Steven Regal as playable characters; they can only be created in the later WWF AKI games. That also makes this the only AKI game which can feature a true, in-game character based match between Flair & Hulk Hogan; the next time they'd be available to face each other as non-created playable characters would be 2002's THQ-developed Smackdown Vs. Raw: Shut Your Mouth. They wouldn't be able to meet again until Smackdown Vs. Raw 2007.
And you gotta love the representatives from the "Dead Or Alive" and "Independent Union" organizations, which were copyright-evading versions of overseas wrestlers, like Hayabusa, Abdullah the Butcher, Atsushi Onita, Jinsei Shinzaki (Hakushi), Terry Gordy, etc. (This was a similar strategy used by the aforementioned Pro Wrestling game for the OG Nintendo, which turned Mil Mascaras into King Slender.)
This game, primitive though it may be in comparison to the later wrestling games, is probably one of the few reasons to still own a Nintendo 64 to this day.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The SGM Super 30 Video Game #29
I hadn't played this game, so I got this write-up from the good Rev. Joshua:
"Fallout and its' sequel, Fallout 2, was as advanced an RPG as you could find at the time. Set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia, you are in total control of your character's destiny from the moment you leave your home and venture out into the wastelands. Nothing is linear: you have to save your people; what you do to the rest of the world is up to you. Save towns or leave them to die. Get what you need and go or put the bad guys out of business. Both games have multiple conclusions based on what towns you rescued and what towns you leave to rot. There's a great feel to the design of world itself in the mock-1950's style advertising, as well as the video that starts the game."
Damn, now I want to play this. My first impression, by the screenshots, was that it's very similar to Diablo, which isn't a bad thing in itself. But the added decision-based changes to gameplay - a very attractive feature in some of the more recent games that are out there - seals the deal. Good luck finding a copy of it, though.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Lemmings Revolution PC game
[I was with Nate when I bought this PC game based on what he heard. The game is simplistic as far as graphics are concerned but it is really fun. If you like puzzle games check this out. It cost around 5 dollars and I think we were at Best Buy. ]
[Is there a prequel or sequel to this game? I noticed it has a little story prior to beginning of the game and I did not know if it was just a continuation of a story from a previous game. Are there any PC games any of you recommend at the moment? ]
Monday, April 09, 2007
If the world were fair ...
... shitty commercials would result in not only zero, but negative revenue.
Take "Skittles," for example. They got this new commercial where a foppish re-re gets off a bus and asks these two Skittles Berries & Cream-eating uber leet fellows if they are, in fact, ingesting the aforementioned confection. When they affirm this, the gayboy starts dancing, while singing, "Berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who loves berriiiieeeees ... and cream" (complete with jazz hands).
I now refuse to eat Skittles of any form until they take these incredibly shitty commercials off my air. I had a run where I refused to eat at Burger King because of their retarded (aw, that's a bad word to use ... developmentally disabled ... much better) office commercials. They stopped showing those, and I started eating there again.
In a fair world, stupid shit would result in a deserved loss of money. Movies that show the whole film in the trailer wouldn't be seen; Kevin Federline wouldn't have sold the paltry total of albums he did; Nip/Tuck wouldn't have made it to that last season (whatever number it was).
But of course, this would mean that no one would buy vehicles anymore, b/c I have seen more than one car commercial extolling virtues of the vehicle while, in small print, it reads, "Not a vehicle - a computerized facsimile." Or what about the commercial where these two guys go rafting without waking up the only girl in the bunch, so she drives to meet up with them and, in some peyote popping hypnoworld, picks up a mountain wolf with her thumb and forefinger and puts it in the boat with the guys, and this is supposed to sell ... kayaks? Life insurance? Nope, it's supposed to sell a Mountaineer or Explorer or Expedition or some other shitty vehicle.
I'm feeling bitchy today, man. It happens when your gall bladder's been invaded by balloons.
The SGM Super 30 Video Game #30
Ah, you never forget your first. This game probably lands high on everyone's list of "first video games I ever played." Hard to believe it's been that long. "Space Invaders" was the cherry-buster, not only for the whole shooter genre, but for video games as a whole.
The setup of the game is easy to describe: Pixellated aliens are descending from the sky, shooting at the tank below, the lone defender and, presumably, the sole survivor of a fighting squadron designed to defend the planet. The alien enemy descends slowly, menacingly, with nerve-wracking music that increases in tempo as the menace gets closer. Throw in a passing UFO that provides a bonus score, as well as expendable bunkers behind which you can hide your tank, and you've got one of the better video games ever developed.
Currently, the game is available on the Playstation 2 & X-Box collection, "Taito Legends." Of course, if you want a different spin on the game, you can search online for any of a number of versions & imitators, or you can even develop one to meet your style at the Clevermedia Arcade.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
[NBA] CLE @ DET
Nice game, although a lot closer than it should be.
Just the usual observations here:
1)Tayshaun Prince owned every one-on-one with LeBron James. I keep pretending I'm hearing Tayshaun saying, "LeBron, overrated called, said what's up."
2) The Rasheed Wallace Tech count is now at 19, so one more and he gets suspended from his third game of the season under the new tech fouls. And why's his patchwork head still on the Pistons bench; he's out by 2008, mark my words. When your own coach says that he "likes to give [Wallace] less time on the floor in these moments," start weighing options.
3) "Deeee-troit ... BAS-KET-BALL" is starting to sound like Carlos Mencia's "dee-de-dee."
The Science Gone Mad Super 30: Video Games
(or, The Graveyard For Broken Controllers)
Videogames are too detailed nowadays. I have a controller to the PS2 that has 11 buttons. And that's pretty standard. The N64 controller wasn't only loaded with buttons, but the system came with a diagram for how to best hold the controller. All this research & effort put into little diversion that simulates a life much more interesting than our own.
Advertisers know this, and that's why you see mini-Flash games attached to ads to "WIN A XBOX 360!!" and all you have to do is punch a digital visage of Osama Bin Laden in the face three times (while a gun hangs on the wall nearby). And yet, knowing that these are solely designed to get us to see whatever's being sold just over the wall, I'd put money that most anyone reading this has played those games on more than one occasion.
It's because we're a society of gamers. The risk, the thrill, the reward; it's a crave. We're not all born into positions in life when we can say, "Oh yeah, I kept someone from dying in a burning building today," or "Yeah, I did CPR on the girl for 20 minutes and she came to right before we got to the ER." Me, I'm a therapist, so by nature my job only means that I talk real good. Therefore, I need to be behind the wheel of that car going 92 mph, I need to be behind that gun firing at some god-awful tentacled monstrosity, I need to be a warrior in feudal Japan saving the peasantry by the laws of bushido.
Us four - Ron, the good reverend Joshua, Will and myself, we submitted our picks for the best videogames of all time. After getting a total list together - 50 games in all - we then chose our thirty. Some of the choices will come as a surprise, not only to the casual reader, but to the SGM staff as well. Number 30 goes up later this evening. And it all goes downhill from there.
The most patronizing rejection letter of all time
Office Depot is looking like a great place for a career.
I received this message via e-mail today. I want to make this abundantly clear that this is NOT the school in east Tennessee that I interviewed with a couple of weeks ago. That rejection was over the telephone (I called them) and it was extremely cordial and professional. This rejection comes from a school in west Tennessee that I had interviewed with in January. Their text will be in normal text with quotes, and my comments in italics:
"Ron,
I wanted to update you on the search at (small crappy urban school)."
I interviewed with you in January. It is now April. Thanks for being so timely! What can I help you with?
"We have done some phone interviews and we have invited three candidates to visit (small crappy urban school)."
Well, since this is the first I heard about it, I guess I can assume that I'm not one of them. Thanks for the update and have a nice life.
"We were unable to include you on either list."
Aw now. I bet you were really "able" to, you just didn't want to. Which is it?
"However, the Search Committee still sees you as a strong candidate."
Uh, wait a second. You did phone interviews AND chose people to come to campus, but I'm still a strong candidate? But I thought you were unable to include me on the list? Was my name too long to fit within the margins and, therefore, you really were unable to include me? Will wonders never cease to be wonders?
"We don't want you to be left hanging around,"
Gee thanks. That's why I haven't heard from you since January. At a conference in which you wrote my interview time down on the wrong date and I had to chase you into the hallway to catch you and make you interview me.
"but if you would like for us to keep your name on our list, we will."
I thought my name was unable to be on the list? Now, it is up to me if you keep me on it? What the hell kind of school are you running? If I didn't make the cut, staying on "the list" will mean one of two things: 1) Sylar will come kill me and suck my brain out because he thinks I have special powers, or 2) you will not hire me. I think I'll opt to stay off "the list."
"The weakness of your candidacy is only your lack of teaching experience."
Only my lack of teaching experience. Well gee thanks. I know that (small crappy urban school) is the bastion of higher education excellence in the South. I'm sure hiring me would be a disservice to the fine upstanding kids of Memphis.
"Since (small crappy urban school) is such a small university, we need excellent teaching and we need our professors to be able to take off as soon as they walk into the class room."
For those of you who don't know me, I teach adjunct at a top-15 public research university. I don't teach at Asheville-Buncombe Technical College, nor do I teach at Wampler's School of Beauty. I have received excellent teaching evaluations (which this guy has copies of) from five different history professors and have outstanding student evaluations that are consistent over a three year period. This guy is absolutely bat-shit insane.
"I had the advantage of seeing your good presentation at the AHA, but my colleagues on the Committee have read applications of those with several years of teaching and with strong recommendations."
This guy is the dean of his college. He obviously has the authority of Jack Tunney or Bud Selig if he can't convince his colleagues that I gave a good presentation at the AHA. I also resent the fact that he is implying that my recs aren't strong. I have seen letters from 2/3 of my writers and they rate me very highly. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but this guy couldn't manage a phone booth.
"We also know that our salary and benefits package isn't the best out there and we would like to keep all of our top applicants in the running, but without trying to mislead them about their chances."
I've read that sentence a few times and I really don't understand how the three clauses fit together. For the first clause, saying they pay crap is like saying that Jeffrey Dahmer is a bit unsettled. This guy told me in my interview that he doesn't believe in paying new people more than established employees, so he is only offering a salary that comes in about 12K below market value. I figured tha he would soon learn that no one is willing to work for that, but I guess that fact hasn't hit him yet. As for clause three, I think the first part of the letter lets me know the chances that I will go there, which are just slightly less likely than Elvis coming back from the dead and appearing on Celebrity Cooking Showdown.
"Therefore, if you want to remain on our list, we will let you know by April 23, if not sooner, if we can arrange an interview with you."
Gosh, I'm so honored that I have such an amazing opportunity! Thank you for giving me a choice in the matter! Pshaw!
"We do appreciate your interest in small crappy urban school, but we certainly will understand if you want to move on."
I understand that you are very patronizing, and I feel sorry for the educational experience that your students receive.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Video game idea
Don't know what influenced my thinking about this -- the "Grindhouse" film or playing the retro "Metal Slug Anthology" games.
Okay, say I'm Rockstar Games, or Midway, or somesich. A game programmer with some disposable income.
Snap up licenses to a bunch of different films - horror, kung-fu, action, etc. Then just develop some 2D games - racers, shooters, fighters, etc. Call the whole game collection "Cineplex" or something.
"Death Race 2000" - A racing game akin to Roadblasters, where the goal is to specifically run over as many pedestrians as possible, while also coming in first in the race and/or destroying your competition.
"Danger: Diabolik" - A Metal Slug themed side-scrolling game where Diabolik has to defeat the evil Vollin while stealing stuff.
"Fearless Fighters" - A Street Fighter II/ Samurai Shodown style fighter.
"Black Belt Jones" - A Double Dragon style game.
Any observations on some games that might make the cut?
Grindhouse--what did I think??
I went to see the movie or I guess I should say movies today--opening day.
I cannot really say I was disappointed. The movies did keep my interest and the fake trailers, commercials, etc. were a really neat idea to experience the full double bill grindhouse cinema 70s feel. I will say that I enjoyed "Planet Terror" more than "Death Proof". Not that the latter was bad but I am more into nonstop action. "Planet Terror" really presented a good story with tons and tons of gore and some humor. I enjoyed the actors that were in both movies that are staples in Tarentino movies. Michael Parks character especially. The women were hot and did a great job. I like Rose McGowan and she did a great job with her character as well.
"Death Proof" was good but I did not like the talkie talkie talkie aspect of it. The chicks spend so much time around a diner table discussing issues. Now, I know "Reservior Dogs" had the same aspect but this was no "Reservior Dogs" I could tell Kurt Russell was enjoying himself. It was good to see him in that element again. There just was not enough action in it.
Would I buy these movies??-- Bones yeah, I will!!!!! I hope they come out together but they will probably come out as seperate movies in order to drain as much money as possible out of me. I guess I need to break down and buy both "Kill Bills" since their does not seem to be one set of those coming out anytime soon.
Bottom line-- Planet Terror- 3 count
Death Proof - 2-3/4 count
but again it is my opinion. Go see it and let me know what you thing.
I didn't get the job
Tusculum jobbed me out. Went with the person who was already there as a visiting professor (I think).
Ugh, gag and vomit.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Rotten Tomatoes: Grindhouse A to Z
With "Grindhouse" hitting theaters this Friday, I stumbled across what seemed like a pretty cool tutorial on grindhouse cinema. Some of these films I have in my movie collection, and I can attest to their cheesy over-the-top style of cinema verite (looking at you, "Death Race 2000").
Job Market Woes
There are times that I just can't calm down.
The academic job market is the most ruthless enterprise I've ever experienced. The search process is so vague and convoluted that it is a wonder that anyone gets hired for any job any where. I had an interview last Monday at a school and was told that I would hear from them by early this week. The week is halfway over, and I have yet to hear from them. Either a) they are slow on meeting and have yet to make a decision or b) I am not top choice and they are seeing if/negotiating with top choice for their job. I'm going to call the school in a minute and see if I can get some answers out of the secretary. I'll keep us updated.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Alanis's best performance since her Unplugged show
This defies description...
Seriously, watch this now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g
Monday, April 02, 2007
[Movie] Night of the Comet on DVD
You can snatch this up at Wal-Mart for under $10.
Check it out, but don't believe what the box says about this film being a cross between George Romero zombie films and "Valley Girl." In fact, "Night of the Comet," if you go in expecting a comedy at all, will disappoint you. It's a good horror/ zombie film that happens to have the occasional elements of humor. It shares a lot in common with "28 Days Later," in that there's a worldwide event that results in a lot of humanity being lost, and it's a story told in a general four-act structure.
The two heroines are as unlikely a pair of heroines as you're likely to find in most any horror film. But, as much as "Alien" and "Scream" and "Halloween" are lauded for featuring women in strong, survivor roles, this film deserves to be mentioned in the same breath. Good scary make-up in this one, and some genuine suspense. And, odd as it may sound, there's a genuinely good reason why this movie usher chick would know how to shoot an AK with pretty solid accuracy.
I want to go on record, too, that Geoffery Lewis is every bit as good a horror movie superstar player as Lance Henriksen and John Saxon are.
A 2 3/4 count.
All my cryptozoologists, holla!
Unlike normal jellyfish, which drift in the ocean current, box jellyfish are active swimmers that can rapidly make 180-degree turns and deftly dart between objects. [more]
Wrestlemania 23 review
I was sick, thanks to my liver enzymes being 6x higher than anyone else's who may be reading this, unless you have cirrhosis or hepatitis (neither of which I have, har-de-har), so I didn't get to watch this with my boys.
Ken Kennedy wins the Money In The Bank - A 2 1/2 count. Can't say I didn't call the outcome, even though on here, I had 3 guys picked to win it. But my money was on Kennedy the whole time. His post-match interview made my wife a huge fan, between "blah blah blah blah BLAH~!" and "Misteeeeeer Money in the Bank .... bank." Oh yeah, and "Nice guys always finish last ... thank GOD, I'm not a nice guy," which should be a Quote to Live By. I kept thinking how much more interesting a ladder match would be if they used one of those 8-ladders-in-one things that's always getting pitched on QVC.
Khali d. Kane - Whew, a sub-1 count.
My wife: "This is the 'gotta check the laundry' match."
My wife, re: the Great Khali: "His chin gets in the ring about a foot before he does."
My wife, re: the Great Khali: "I'd rather watch Khali fight Big Show."
My wife, re: the Great Khali: "Look at his teeth. I bet he has trouble with corn on the cob."
My wife, re: the Great Khali: "Why does he go by the name of a dog?" Me: "A dog's name?" My wife: "Yeah, like Lassie; wasn't Lassie a collie?"
(I think this was her first time seeing the Great Khali.)
Chris Benoit d. MVP - I'm saying this is a 2 3/4 match; if the crowd was more into it, and there was a better storyline going into it, it would have been a 3 count, hands down. MVP looked AMAZING, definitely bringing his Mania game to the dance. Good psychology, good use of 10-15 minutes of match time, good counter- and chain-wrestling, this one may have had it all.
Undertaker d. Batista to become the World Heavyweight champion - 2 3/4. Strong brawling match, but again, the outcome was mighty expected. The powerslam through ECW's announce table was nice. During the Taker/Batista punch exchange, the crowd worked in a nice "boo" / "yay" / "boo" / "yay" chant. And yes, they were saying "yay." Who says "yay" anymore?
ECW old school d. ECW new breed - 2 count. This was just there. I started thinking that, if I actually thought Sabu was going to be asked to stick around for a while longer, I'd love to see him and Khali as a tag team. Sandman clotheslined Elijah Bjork over the top rope and Bjork's braids EXPLODED! No POOOUUUNNNCE-AH! at the big dance, though.
Lashley d. Umaga, so Trump d. McMahon - 2 count. Actually, not a bad bit of brawling between Lashley & Umaga, so by itself it would have probably been a fine match. Umaga made me super happy by spiking Austin, and it played out psychology-wise as what Austin deserved for fishhooking Umaga's eye ... Umaga thought he was swinging at Lashley. This unfortunately led to some overbooked shit, but in the end, Mcmahon went bald & looked like a drive-by bukkake victim with all the shaving cream on his head and face, and Austin stunned Trump. Austin's shirt should read, "Arrive. Pretend it's 1998. Leave."
Melina d. Ashley - 1 count. I kept begging during the all-girl brawl, "C'mon titty, c'mon TITTY!" Alas, nothing.
Cena d. Michaels - 3 count. This match delivered and then some, but honestly, it could have learned a thing or two from Benoit/MVP, namely selling (Cena's leg has mutant healing powers) and a bit of pacing, as Cena & Michaels padded out their near-30 minutes on the grand stage with a whole lot of stalling. They must have known Cena would get the ass-end of the fan response and said, "Uh uh, fuck that," and Michaels built up Cena as a hero, which I kind of expected. The piledriver(!) on the steps(!!) came out of nowhere. Cena goes to make up with his boyfriend Shawn at the end, but Michaels is all "Hell, naw, my job was to make you look good and that's over so I'm going to go read the bible," and Cena's all, "Well, I salute you, even though I've never seen a minute of military service," and now there's gonna be drama on Monday night.
In the off chance this is the last Wrestlemania I ever see, I can't say I was disappointed.
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